I get inundated by people who want me to write about their books, their websites, their counseling services and their products. And, sadly, 80 percent of these requests come from people I just can’t endorse. I can tell from between the lines that they are doing this for the wrong reasons and that their only goal is to make money. Usually the goal of “helping people” isn’t on the list at all.
That’s why I was pleasantly surprised when–during a rare moment of boredom–I checked out a site and found that not only did the it provide quality content, but it also was content that I could learn from and use to make my marriage better. Let me tell you: after reading as much as I’ve read about marriage, that doesn’t happen all that often these days. I spent a good hour on this site watching every single video that the two marriage counselors had put together. I then spent some time scheming ways to get my husband on said site.
And then I wrote the publicist who’d ask me to go there in the first place and I thanked her.
What follows is one of the videos from the Power of Two. This is a membership site that costs $18/month. If you are interested in checking it out, they offer a two week free trial and money back satisfaction guarantee. They are offering ProjectHappilyEverAfter.com readers 75 percent off the first month’s fee. If you are interested in joining, email info@po2.com and say you came from ProjectHappilyEverAfter.
Note: In roughly a month I’ll be launching a giveaway for people who pre-order Project: Happily Ever After. A free membership to Power of Two will be one of many cool prizes you can win, with others ranging from vouchers for marital counseling to stays at romantic B&Bs to a Kindle that is fully loaded with all of the books that helped me to save my marriage. If you pre-order now, you will make me very happy. Just save your receipt so you can enter the giveaway. (And don’t worry if you’ve already pre-ordered and do not have proof of purchase. There will be other ways to enter).
Here’s the video.
{ 16 comments… read them below or add one }
Thanks Alisa,
That was most helpful as always.
YOU ROCK
Ron
Alisa
I’ve been using Power of Two for about 2 weeks now. I can certainly attest to the fact that they seem to really want to help people and the monthly fee is well worth it. At this point I really haven’t seem too much change for the better in my relationship, however I’m still hoping for the best.
Your readers should be forewarned that PO2 is still working out a few technical bugs but so far they truly do seem to be well intentioned and caring people.
I do however have to state that the title of your blog post is kind of off the charts from a hyperbole perspective. I really don’t think that PO2, or anything else, can assure that your marriage will be anger proof and I feel that your title raises some unreasonable expectations.
Very cool. Watching the video right now. And, of course, I’ve already pre-ordered your book!!
Turns out you can’t watch the video and type at the same time. Maybe this should be a marriage rule – don’t multitask your marriage? Smile. Will first submit this comment and THEN watch the video (the first few seconds were great…)
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Weston–you make a good point about the headline. I usually write them first–before I write the post. Then–usually–the post follows and USUALLY reflects the headline. This one: not so much. I’m not sure where the muse steered me wrong. Thanks for pointing it out.
I am freaking out here, because I worked with Dr. Abigail Hirsch many years ago at The Young Women’s Leadership School in NYC! She was an awesome social studies teacher at the time. I am enjoying checking out the site, and it was fun to see Abby again. Looks like she is doing well!
Seems like an interesting alternative to $160+/hr therapy. The video certainly presents a nonjudgmental yet compelling argument to find other ways than anger to communicate.
Hi, Thanks for the awesome post you have! Im following your blog now
Great post. Really liked the video. Thanks for this, Alisa.
First, Alicia, thanks so much for the kind words. We’re much appreciative.
Hi Sarah– What a wonderful small world!!! I must say, 8th grade social studies and marriage skills have more in common than one might think. Really, seems like we start trying to figure this whole relationships thing out around 8th grade, and it’s a life-long project for sure.
And Weston– fun to see you over here too! And, you’re so right that there is no instant magic bullet to changing a marriage. We can give lots of sound advice, detailed skills and ideas for practice. And, ultimately, as Alicia is probably the best person in the world to attest to, no therapist or author or anyone but you (or you two) can do the hard work of trying to use that knowledge, day-in and day-out to slowly and steadily change things for the better. Keep hanging in there. Slow and steady really does win the marriage race.
I think you read my mind Alisa. Last night I was so upset after an argument with my hubby. When he is angry he treats me like I am inferior to him. I end up being the one who feels so hurt. We have gone thru so much these past few months and listening to the video really helped me understand why I feel so insecure when he is mad we dont fix it. I need some help. I know all you are sympathetic and very smart. I dont know how to overcome my anger and all the feelings I have towards trust and my own insecurities. I am so in love with my husband. I honestly totally trusted him before and now that he has betrayed this trust. How do I get it back! I know some of you will say time. I cant see it. He has never said sorry for his actions. He nevers says sorry. I feel helpless. I am not happy. He has done so many nice things for me since his betrayal. I feel like he will think that i am ungrateful. It is not curing me. I told him last night he could give me a million dollars and one mean word and I could careless about that million. I am hurt. He said so many mean things to me. he wanted to leave me for another woman. I have sacrificed myself for him for 22 years. He is selfish. I cant forget about the harsh words, they play over and over. Mind you the mean things were said months ago, when he’s angry with me for anything, I do project and relive it all over again. I do go to therapy weekly. I dont understand why it is not helping me. I feel like nothing will. Well sorry guys, just having a bad day! Thanks in advance for any advice.
Hey Lisa — thought I’d pipe in. . . . first, no question that it’s REALLY hard to heal. That said, there are a few mantras that can be helpful. First and foremost, mistakes are for learning. No question he’s made mistakes, sounds like he’s made some big mistakes. Now the trick is for the two of you to LEARN something from those mistakes so that you two can move forward towards a new, better marriage.
Which brings me to the second principle — turn lemons into lemonade. Often the best way to turn angry feelings back into a loving marriage is for the two of you to take what you can learn from the mistakes, then take those lemons, and use them to make lemonade. It’s likely you’ll start to feel better when you can say, gosh, all those mean things, they opened the door for this new and way better thing (like learning how to get all that anger out of your marriage for good, on both sides, or like learning how to really affair-proof your marriage).
For what it’s worth, most couples who hang in there through horrible times, 3 or 4 years down the road, report having marriages that are way better than before the terrible times. Not much consolation when you’re in the thick-of-it, but maybe a bit of inspiration to keep working at it.
Hang in there!!!!
Lisa I wish I had some great words of wisdom that would make you feel better. But this isn’t something I have personally experienced. I know nobody wants to hear time will heal it but there is also wisdom in that. I would imagine it is like experiencing a type of death. The death of trust in this case. You may be grieving what you once had. But unlike death It doesn’t mean that it cant come back. All I can say for sure is that I sincerely wish you the best & will pray that you heal soon.
Ron
Alisa –
Thanks again for the kind words about Power of Two.
My job at Power of Two is to understand what our members are looking for so that we can continue to evolve the program to meet people’s needs and help them repair their marriages and build strong and loving relationships.
As Weston said above, we “really want to help people”, and the program is constantly growing, evolving and maturing.
Please, as a comment to your readers — if anyone has thoughts about our program or questions, don’t hesitate to give me a call at 877.411.4948, or email me at jacobh AT po2.com. The more couples I speak with, the more effective we can be.
Alisa, thanks again for all of the work you are doing in the support of healthy marriages.
- Jacob
http://PowerofTwoMarriage.com
877.411.4948
jacobh AT po2.com
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Abigail Thank you I sure do hope I can learn from these mistakes. I am in the midst of what drummer guy calls death, which is so true. That is exactly what it feels like. I wish I could just turn back time. Why cant I have it back. I was so secure, happy and safe.
Drummer guy you are the best. I know you are sincere in your wisdom, please also pray that my husband can see the error of his ways and apologize. that is the one thing that I cant let go of. he needs to own it for what it is. I appreciate both of your wisdoms. It gives me something to think about.
Will do my friend. My first wife was one who would never apologize for anything. But we never had anything of this nature so I just accepted that it was just her. She was a good person just a little stubborn
Best Wishes
Ron