About
Dogs are more fun!
There was a time when I regularly fantasized about my husband dropping dead. During that time, I I felt so alone, like a failure.
Then I managed to save my marriage. I’m still married to the same man I once wanted dead, and I love him more and more every day.
Not long after I saved my marriage, I started this site. I didn’t want anyone else to have to go through what I did. You are not alone. You are not a failure. You are not a bad person. Your life is not over. You deserve happiness and you can find it. I want you to know that.
I started Project Happily Ever After to help others. This site isn’t just about marriage, though. Over time, it has evolved. I also write about happiness, balance, spirituality, and parenthood. It’s my belief that they are all intertwined.
About Me
If you have a lot of time on your hands, you are welcome to read this 5 part story of my life. It’s about 5,000 words long and takes you on a journey from Fourth Grade, when I wanted to be President of the United States, until the summer of 2009, when this blog was 11 months old. Part 5 is a collection of my best life, writing and blogging advice. If you don’t have a lot of time, here’s the short version: My name is Alisa Bowman and I work as a professional writer. You can learn more about my career here. If you are an aspiring writer, all of my advice on how to become a professional writer is in this post.
Copyright 2008 Project Happily Ever After
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{ 13 comments… read them below or add one }
It is so inspiring to hear that you and your husband were willing to invest an entire year toward improving your relationship. As a relationship/couples therapist, I see so many couples that want a quick fix and think that things can/should be improved in a couple of weeks. If people spend years of their lives detrioriating or wrecking their marriages, it will take more than a few weeks to get things back to good. Thanks for taking your story and sharing it with others.
I can’t believe I found this blog. I am right now feeling exactly what you described in your “about” page. I’m blown away. I thought I was a horrible, terrible person to feel like that. Just knowing that someone else felt that way is……saving my sanity.
I haven’t read much else yet. But that alone has made all the difference for me.
Thank you so much for sharing that.
I am so ready to start my own year long project. Any tips on where to start?
Kel
Kel– Same for you. Welcome to the site. You are normal and in good company. I do a fairly regular Marriage Challenge once a week here on the site, so you might find those good as a place to start. Or look try the Save Your Marriage series (there are links to it from the land page).
I read Project Happily Ever After this weekend and let me just say I’m not a fan of reading, but this one I couldn’t put down! You described exactly what my husband and myself have been going through. There are a lot of pressures out there telling couples to divorce, move on, and not look back. I believe that it takes more guts and strength to stay with it and make it work. thank you for showing me that I’m not entirely crazy! Thank you for your story!
Jennie–You are not crazy. Or, if you are, you’ve got plenty of company. Welcome to the site and thanks so much for the kind words about the book. Hang in there! I wish you much success and happiness. If you feel comfortable doing so, the book could use some spreading the word. Tell a friend. Leave a review online. Tell folks about it on FB. Pick it for book club. Anything like that would really help. Thanks so much!
Oh my goodness….and here I thought I was the only one who was so morbid! My husband and I are having a tough time right now and I often think of how much easier it would be if he just disappeared.
Thank you for motivating me to work hard to make things right, as opposed to just sitting around hoping it will be taken care of for me.
I’ve been married for 10 years, 10 long painful years in which I strangely never stopped loving my husband. I just reached a point where I knew I had given up on him because he didn’t know how to be a husband. I thought I was losing my mind with the horrid things that ran through my mind. Alisa, you’ve made me feel human again. I can’t thank you enough for being so honest about yourself. In doing that you’ve made feel not so alone anymore.
You showed me that it is possible to go from sheer desperation to having a good marriage again. You’ve given me some hope, and I wish you the best for your future. May it always go well for you.
I need help..and everything im trying from reading many articles and stuff doesn’t seem to work. Should I just let go
Hi Gilbert– no one can tell you what to do or not do. Only you have a handle on your own situation. I hope you find at least a little comfort in the community here. There are lots of people here who are in your same situation.
OH MY!!! Just what I have been looking for. My husband and I re-married after a nasty divorce. Since then we have added a 2nd child and our marriage is going strong. I started my blog to tell people about what we went through and how we got over and past it! Thank you for sharing and I cant wait to read all your blogs!!!
I’ve wished my hubby wouldn’t come home on numerous occasions! Probably too many to count! It will be interesting to see if both he/I can change with some reading (on my part – he won’t go down that path)! Looking forward to reading about your journey and how you got to where you are!
I too was subconsciously planning/wishing for my husband’s exit (so sad to admit that). I am so happy that I found your site. A friend sent it to me a few months back after my husband and I separated of course I lost the information during my transition. Neither one of us wants a divorce, however we can’t live with one another at this time. Throw in three kids (two of which aren’t his) and a 3 year old with special needs it’s no wonder we’re apart. Your book is giving me hope that we can make things work if we both put in the time and effort.Thanks for sharing your experiences. I just ordered your book and can’t wait to power up my kindle.
Olá Alisa, muito obrigado pelos conselhos. Eu e minha esposa estamos iniciando nosso Projeto Felizes para Sempre. Temos fé que, assim como você, conseguiremos superar nossas dificuldades.
Muito obrigado
Eder
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