Marriage Improvement Monday
Today is Haiku day for the blogathon. It’s also Marriage Improvement Monday. And I happen to be writing this while feeling a tad guilty because I just yelled at the poor 18 year old who works in customer service for AT&T Wireless because she happened to be the person who informed me that AT&T was going to cut off my service because I was 10 days late paying a bill that was, ahem, hidden underneath a few pieces of paper. I happened to be talking to her on my cell phone, which, at that moment, was getting exceptionally poor service. Yes, AT&T’s coverage is so poor that I can’t even get service in my own house. I have to walk outside to take a cell call.
Oh, I told her all about why I was going to cancel my service as soon as Verizon carried the iPhone and about how this is why no one likes AT&T and that only an evil company would cut off service when a bill is only 10 days late, especially when the innocent customer has informed such evil company that the check is in the mail and was only late because the bill was hidden underneath a pile of other distracting things.
She couldn’t have cared less. Honestly, by the sigh I heard emanate from her, it was apparent to me that I was the 600th person who had given her the very same tirade today.
So I hung up. Then I killed a fly. I did it because it was there, and it was making this annoying buzzing sound. And in that split second as I picked up my book about white collar psychopaths and smashed it against the fly, that fly looked a lot like AT&T Wireless to me.
Once the poor fly was flattened against my window, it just looked like a poor fly that was scared out of its mind and that really wanted to get out of my house but just couldn’t find the door.
And then I felt really bad.
That was quite the digression, wasn’t it? Now you understand my guilt. Moving on.
How do I blend Haiku Day with Marriage Improvement Monday?
Well, recent research has found that showing gratitude can help couples grow closer. Gratitude comes in many forms: cooking your spouse a nice dinner to celebrate a promotion, saying “thank you,” and writing your spouse a Haiku that explains why your spouse rocks.
Haiku is a specific type of poem that contains three lines and 17 syllables. There are 5 syllables on the first line, 7 on the second, and 5 on the third. For examples, check out the Haiku Diaries.
For Marriage Improvement Monday, I’m asking you to express your gratitude for your spouse in the form of a Haiku.
For instance, my Haiku for my husband is:
She pulls your finger.
You smile; She never learns.
You keep me laughing.
It’s especially powerful to write these little poems when you are feeling somewhat angry. Haiku forces you to concentrate—using both sides of the brain at once. As you try to write a gratitude Haiku, the anger will dissipate because you can’t listen to your angry voice while writing Haiku. You just can’t. So despite yourself, you calm down. Voila. Now you can think rationally and speak your voice using a volume that does not blow out your spouse’s eardrums.
Which leads me to believe that it might be a good idea for me to write a Haiku to AT&T.
At least you did call.
You could have just cut it off.
But you warned me first.
What is your gratitude Haiku for your spouse? Leave it here in the comments.
Copyright 2010 Project Happily Ever After
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{ 41 comments… read them below or add one }
You lied to my face
You left me broken hearted
Without you I grow.
(thanks estranged hubby)
that did make me feel better
My faults are my own
Days are black without your smile
Ol’ga I Love you
That strong, soft, warm spot
On your neck, behind your ear
I want to live there.
I’ve got two:
You’re not my hubby
But if you were I’d make sure
you always felt loved
You’re the funny guy
who can make me laugh out loud
at the dumbest things
A glance full of fire
I smolder in your embrace
Burning through my soul
Can’t live without you
Maybe I can, don’t want to
Everyday a choice
Being the REALLY bad poet I am…lol.. I will be making my beloved dinner tonight, cleaning the house from top to bottom & getting a good movie to watch with her tonight. Will that count for marriage improvement Monday?
Oh & I am HORRIBLE with English grammer. I remember studying the Haiku’s in school (yes I do remember a Haiku is from Japan lol). Uhh I didn’t do so well with that part. Literature always helped me pull a good grade out of English.
Oh man I forgot the notify me box again Sheesh
You make me laugh loud.
I love your passion.
You make me a better person.
You’re my first real love.
Together with you
I learn the simple pleasures
Of time spent loving
As the years fly by
We will face life side by side
Happy in our bed
Oh god, I can’t come up with a haiku that fast but I can appreciate how frustrated you were by AT&T (we use them and are unhappy with their service too. AT&T are you listening?!). I will try to mediate and write a nice love poem to my husband today. Thank you for the idea even if I am too lame to leave one in the comment section. (p.s. Alisa, your readers are brilliant–Lauren and Skeemer, these are beautiful, kind, wonderful poems!)
I’ve been writing Haikus in my head all day. I think it is very romantic and I know Ray really likes when I do things like this for him. He even likes when I sing him love songs and I can’t sing. I think I’m going to write him a book of love poems just for him.
I’m going to pass on writing a Haiku. I can write poetry, but it has to be on my terms.
Sorry, you’re mad at AT&T. I’ve have my issues with them also – we have “everything” with AT&T – cell, home, cable and internet. But we can’t get other services here that would be any better, so what’s the point. They haven’t pissed me off in over a year, so I’m good.
I can be angry.
Yet still love him so fiercely
Safe is what I feel.
@Joanne I just LOVED your poem. It resonated so strongly with me. It reminded me of something I like to do. I like to take photos of my husband when he is sleeping and shadows hide parts of his face. I also like your idea about the book of poems
I take dark photos
Like black tears, shadows slide down
Softly cross your cheeks.
.-= Maureen´s last blog .. =-.
So many great haikus here today! I am too angry at my husband right now to write one.
I have two…and I could do more, I LOVE haikus!
You cook all my meals.
Each one made with love and care.
Lucky girl I am!
=============
You told me the words,
to make me see the real me.
“Yes, you are ok.”
.-= Andi´s last blog ..Rewards Based Doing =-.
Not sure I can do a Haiku on the spot, but wanted to let you know that Verizon isn’t any better… I’ve had all sorts of problems with their customer service too.
.-= Melissa´s last blog ..Tip of the Iceberg – Diving into Networking =-.
i do it alone
but with you it is better
we are compliments
Sometimes I am bored
A complaint of the spoiled
You are always there
Life is never dull
Laughter is our escape hatch
You are my best friend
Well I never could write the Haiku. I tried but guess I am not good with it. However my beloved sure did appreciate the nice dinner & clean house that I did. Then we watched The Blind Side all snuggled up together. Good night last night. I wish with her illness we could have more nights like that……but it just makes me appreciate them more when she can
thanks for your concern
i appreciate the space
please have a nice day.
Okay & this has NOTHING to do with the topic but a friend (Guitar Player in my band) & I were discussing the changes we men in general & married in particular go through between our twenties & now my late fourties. Made me think of some humorous things y’all (a VERY SOUTHERN WORD LOL) might like.
For instance & I have a few of these that made us roll on the floor laughing about them.
(1) The band has a show to do that night.
IN MY 20′S: Man I sure hope there are some hot groupies there.
IN MY 40′s: man I hope my arms & legs don’t start cramping again during the show.
(2) The band has a show out of town & got private jacuzzi suites:
In my 20′s: Man I hope some of those hot groupies want to jump in the jacuzzi with me after the show.
IN MY 40′S: Man that was a tough show. I can’t wait to get in that jacuzzi & put my aching back on those jets. Can I avoid signing autographs on C D’s & some groupies boobs?
(3) I see a very attractive woman walking by.
IN MY 20′S: My tounge hits the floor, I start drooling & I am thinking: Hubba Hubba. Man is she hot. I sure hope that jacuzzi is still available.
IN MY 40′S; I take a very brief short glimpse, my head never moves, my tounge stays in my mouth & I think. She is an attractive lady & that’s ALL I think lol.
(4) I see a young woman pregnant, & know it is probably her first child.
IN MY 20′s: I think hey well at least I know she has some interest in sex. maybe I should get her phone number for after the baby.
IN MY 40′S: I think. Yea she looks happy now but just wait until that kid becomes a teenager. She will rue the day
I could name 30 more but you get the idea. Hope everybody got a laugh. My friend & I about died….lol
I was aso wondering if some of the male readers, many of whom are around my age had the same thing happen? lol
Wow that was so much funnier when my friend & I were discussing it. Now that I see it typed..not so much.
Guess you had to be there…..LOL
You’re wrong on one thing!
Haikus don’t always bring calm,
But always ring true.
On one drunken night,
She slept with another man.
Now we’re almost through!
It was last summer,
Away on a bus’ness trip.
That’s how it started.
She concealed the truth.
For six long weeks she chased him,
And then I found out!
She lied and then lied,
’til the facts were uncovered.
Then lied some more still.
But more truth came out.
Like layers of an onion,
Her secrets exposed.
I confronted him –
Even then talked to his wife.
Their stories matched up.
It’s been near a year,
And yes, we’re still together.
But I can’t let go.
It hurts me non-stop.
She just hopes it goes away,
But I know it won’t.
June 1 is next week.
That’s the day we were married.
Thirteen happy years.
How to celebrate,
When it will be our fourteenth
Anniversary?
Tonight she walked out,
And went upstairs to our bed.
I just went outside.
I started a fire,
And then alit a cigar,
And wrote down these words.
Here’s fourteen haikus,
For fourteen years of marriage.
Will there be fifteen?
Even though irritation hangs
I wish we were touching now
Your big spoon for life
@ bevo..Very well done. I am sorry to see the pain & can only imagine what you must be going through. I wish you the best & hope everything works out for you. I wish I had your talent. I have a very artistic side in writing music & love letters to my bride sort of stuff but tried to do the Haiku’s & it didn’t do so well…lol. Anyway VERY WELL DONE!!
@ Bevo..
Trust, once betrayal comes
Is lost for a time it seems
Forgiveness Can heal
Not much worth having, loving
Is ever easy and O’so fragile
Only you can decide!
Does she want forgiveness?, was it a one time mistake?, Do you still love her?
If so fifteen doesn’t seem undoable.
@ Joanne. Very well done. You have a real talent with words. Also just wondering how y’all are doing? Yourself & Ray have been in mine & my wife’s thought’s & prayers. I hope you didn’t mind my discussing things with my beloved but she is a really caring person who will always offer kindness & prayer. By the way she was very moved to see two people working together for a wonderful goal
@ Drummer Guy- Ray and I have stopped doing marriage counseling and I am doing individual therapy. I feel now like the problems in our marriage are really my problems and I am trying to deal with them so I don’t continue the trend of making him miserable. Ray and I have a rather strange situation in that I have a hyper charged libido and my husband doesn’t and it is an incredibly painful issue between us. Thanks for keeping us in your prayers and of course I don’t mind you discussing it with your wife, she is your partner. Will our marriage survive? I just don’t know but we haven’t walked away yet. That says something I suppose.
I have been dying to ask how your wife is doing? I really hope she is at least maintaining, give her my best.
Thanks Joanne. My beloved has been quite ill for several weeks now. Actually doing things for others even if it is just well wishes makes her feel valued & important. Sort of gives her purpose. Glad to hear that you are sticking things out. I know they can be tough at times but the rewards are so worth it. Believe me I do understand the frustration. My beloved & I are in a similar situation for different reasons. I am the one with the high libido. Even though it can’t be helped as she is quite ill, it can still cause frustration. But I wouldn’t trade my place for anything. I just hold on to the MANY wonderful things that make her my lifelong beloved. Besides I was single just 9 years ago & can tell you from experience it’s really SCARY out there lol. Just picking on the last part. A good laugh goes a LONG way in how we feel. Does for me anyway. My very best to yourself & your hubby. As Sara Liz would say,
Many Blessings
Drummer Guy: I love your “Song of Solomon” approach when speaking of your wife. For some reason it feels warm and loving to me. I am sure you are a comfort to her.
Thanks. I didn’t even know it fit into the song of Solomon..lol. I should have but didn’t
I guess I have a outdated philosophy as some would put it. Always speak positively & warmly about your spouse & it really helps when you may feel down, going through difficult times etc. It really has a positive effect on how I view her. Works for me anyway. I wish I had learned that earlier & life.
@ Drummer Guy–
Loosely translated from Solomon:
My Beloved is mine
& I am hers, not just today
Our souls call each other
Give that to your sweetheart if you want, read her the Song of Solomon if you can, it always quiets my spirit.
Thanks Joanne. I hadn’t read Song of Solomon for some time. I read scripture regularly but it has been a while since I read that. I will read that to my beloved tomorrow night. The band has a big show to do this weekend so we have practice tonight. I really wish my beloved could attend but she has been really sick for some time again. She loves seeing us perform & really wants to go but isn’t well enough. She has really been down emotionally from being this sick again & having to miss another show. It is at a really BIG venue & there will be thousands there. Reading her that passage may be just the ticket for cheering her up a little. Thanks my friend. I read your post today & know that you will continue to be in our thoughts.
I don’t have idea how to make love haiku…honestly it’s my first time heard about this and it’s so shameful for me.,but anyway still i want to write this to my husband even things between us now is not alright.
LOVE IS NOT BLIND.
LOVE CAN SEE,But it does’nt MIND.
And How I Wish All things happen in this world we can “NEVER MIND” and pain will banish that easy so that i won’t suffered this pain that i’ve been through because of all the things happen.and i hope “NEVER MIND” will help to make this Marriage work.
Haikus are traditional Japanese form of poem which are really romantic in nature. While reading some the Haikus above, I can’t help but crying while thinking about my love who’s not here beside me right now. =( I will post my own haiku as well if I can make one already. Thanks for making this blog Alisa..
You are so goofy.
Often I am tightly wound.
You are my balance.
(Thanks for being that.)
I know with that last line it is no longer Haiku, which is why it is in parentheses.
I just realized it could also go like this:
You are a comic.
I am very serious.
You compliment me.
(Thanks for doing that.)
Accidental Touch
Hugs, Notes, and the such
All make me Your’s