Don’t Take No For An Answer
No is not a dead end. It's a detour.
To get where you want to go in life, you will often need the help of someone else. If that someone else says, “No,” to your request for help, it can be very demoralizing.
For instance, let’s say you want to put your kids in daycare one day a week so you can spend that time launching a work-at-home business. Your husband tells you, “No, we can’t afford that. That’s why you are home, so the kids don’t have to be in daycare.” Ouch. That hurts.
Or, let’s say you want to go back to school to learn a new skill, but the school you want to go to is too expensive and the financial aid officer won’t give you a scholarship because you are “too old.” Kind of makes you want to give up, doesn’t it?
Maybe you have an essay that you think is great, but every magazine editor says, “I’m sorry, this isn’t right for us.” You should just stop writing essays, right? After all, they are the experts. If they think your writing sucks, then it probably really does suck.
It doesn’t matter what you are trying to do. It doesn’t matter who is telling you, “No.” What matters is this:
On the road of life, “No” is not a dead end. It’s a detour.
By that, I mean this: when one person turns you down, you don’t have to stop trying. You have not reached the end of the road. Rather, you just need to reassess the situation, look at your map, and find another route that will take you to the same place.
For instance, that husband who tells you that you can’t afford to put your kids in daycare? Maybe you work a little harder to convince him, trying to prove to him that you really can afford it. All you have to do is stop eating out, and you will help make that happen by packing his lunch. Or, maybe you find another mom who wants to do the same thing, and you switch off the care of the kids.
When that school turns you down? You apply somewhere else. Or you see if you can learn what you need to know online (which is usually free), by reading books, or by finding a mentor who is willing to meet with you every once in a while.
As for that essay (which, if you couldn’t tell, is my personal detour), you fine-tune it and send it to yet another editor, until you find the brilliant editor who knows talent when she reads it. Or, you write a different essay and send that one out instead.
But you’ll need more than a map to navigate the many detours in life. You’ll need some sustenance to keep you going. Whenever you feel too tired or too frustrated to go on, watch this video, which depicts Susan Boyle, a 48-year-old unemployed woman who had been told time and time again that she did not have what it took to be a professional singer. She was too fat, too ugly and too old. Or was she? When she walked out on stage for Britain’s Got Talent (The British version of American Idol) the judges and audience giggled and rolled their eyes.
And then see what happened next. Watch as often as needed. Susan Boyle didn’t take “No” for an answer. You shouldn’t either.
Susan Boyle on Britain’s Got Talent
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Tags: persistance, susan boyle
April 15th, 2009 at 9:59 am
At some point we should, but at some, especially in trying out for something you believe in, “no”. Many people regretted for never tried something they longed for, a dream, ambition, although people disapproving, but deep down inside nobody knows you better. Follow the guidance, and pray for it, eventually, you’ll know when not to take ‘no’ for an answer. Great video indeed, thanks for sharing.
@wchingya
Social Media/Blogging
April 15th, 2009 at 10:10 am
As Emerson warned, “Beware what you set your heart upon, for it shall surely be yours.” In that context, a ‘no’ can be a useful test of conviction. What we think we want is not always the most appropriate course of action; the ‘no’ forces us to think about it a little harder.
That said, a ‘no’ for me is like a red rag to a bull…
H
April 15th, 2009 at 11:27 pm
Thank you Alisa. Even though most of us already know this, we still need to here it.
I have struggled with illness for all of my adult life, but I constantly keep going trying to defy the odds.
Thank you for reminding me to continue my journey.
April 16th, 2009 at 9:28 pm
[...] Here’s the link to her post: http://www.projecthappilyeverafter.com/2009/04/dont-take-no-for-an-answer/ [...]
August 15th, 2009 at 8:27 am
[...] Here’s the link to her post: http://www.projecthappilyeverafter.com/2009/04/dont-take-no-for-an-answer/ [...]
April 27th, 2010 at 10:07 pm
Susan Boyle may not be a very good looking woman but she has an angelic voice. ‘
April 28th, 2010 at 12:35 am
Susan Boyle may not be a very good looking woman but she has an angelic voice. *
May 6th, 2010 at 12:25 pm
I have seen the performance of Susan Boyle and it is never short of excellent. Definitely one of the best voices out there. ;