How to argue with Mr. Always Right

A Reader Participation Post

Here’s a “biggest marital problem” sent to me by a reader:

My husband is aggressive, rude, and is always right and I am always wrong. Therefore I no longer have serious conversations with him. I try to avoid talking about anything that he might find upsetting, even though it may be something that is upsetting to me. We basically don’t have a relationship. I desperately would like to have a relationship, but I honestly don’t know if my husband is capable of it. I just agree with what he says. If I don’t he gets very angry and says that I just want to argue. If I ask him questions he gets angry too, so I will just ask him one question if I want to know something. If I don’t like or don’t understand his answer, I won’t say anything because that makes him very angry. What should I do?

Readers: This is all you. Can you help this reader with her biggest marital problem? I’m giving you two weeks to wrestle with this one. I will be awarding prizes to 5 people who I judge (by purely non-objective standards) to have the most helpful and insightful advice. The prizes include a free signed copy of my book Project: Happily Ever After + several other books that publishers have sent me recently: Jenn Berman’s Rockin Babies (I have two copies), Byron Pitts’ Step Out of Nothing, and Hulk Hogan’s My Life Outside the Ring.

Note: For the next two weeks, I will be taking a social media vacation. It do this once or twice a year whenever I start to feel stale, burned out, and irritated with humanity. Now is that time of year. I hope to return in two weeks as the generous, kind, loving, somewhat positive person I once knew. Because I won’t be posting much this month, the more comments you leave on this and other older posts, the higher your chances of winning the next Reader of the Month. For July Rental Car Choices will be giving away a free pass to Universal Studios. Make sure you click through to the actual blog to comment. Comments sent to me via email or left on Facebook don’t count for this promotion.

319 comments… add one

  • Tracy October 31, 2015, 4:41 am

    If you are irritated with humanity then you need a different line of work or different subject to be selling books on. Your readership is humanity, the human race, you narcissist and that is exactly what that lady’s husband is. You could both look up the term and say “ah yes, so that’s the problem!” Take an extended vacation asshole.

    • Diane November 1, 2015, 1:46 am

      Ahahaha. Are we all married to the same man??!!

  • Janie October 31, 2015, 8:55 am

    It sounds like your talking about my husband. He always finds a way to turn it around on me. “It’s you, not me” is the typical statement I’ve gotten used to hearing. Sadly, I’ve given up on resolving any issues that we have and he’s on the way to destroying our marriage. I really do hope that you have better luck than I have had with this. I wish I had more advice for you, but I seem to be in the same mess.

  • Jini October 31, 2015, 4:02 pm

    I watched this and it helped me. Our lives are exactly as we want them to be. We can change any situation by the love and positive energy we give out. This video helped me. I hope it helps u. You are in my prayers and I hope you will be much happier soon. May god bless you and give you strength through your difficult time. All the best to you.

    Check out this video on YouTube:

  • Jini October 31, 2015, 4:17 pm

    This may help you too understand your husband too..

    I wish you and all women or men suffering many blessings for relief.

  • Laura October 31, 2015, 10:14 pm

    I would approach him calmly one night, after dinner, maybe even after a few drinks… Maybe make him a favourite meal of his… Sit next to him and explain that you really don’t like conflict, explain how you feel. Be sure to give specific examples so he knows where you are coming from. Ask him what he would like you to do differently to avoid conflict, what things can you change so that he’s a better listener, and s better husband. Tell him how you feel about decision making and ask him how you could be more involved. I understand he doesn’t like to be asked a lot of questions, so maybe as one question a day until all of your questions are answered… Just a thought– take it slow, be real and true to him and yourself. If you have to communicate non-verbally–maybe find a card that speaks for you then go from there :)

    • Cecilia November 22, 2015, 10:10 am

      That’s very sweet but it doesn’t work with this type of men. I have tried hundred times and while you are talking, they are not listening because they are looking for their answer to defend themselves; to make yourself wrong and themselves right. I am just sick of his behaviour! Almost done with him!

  • Janice October 31, 2015, 10:45 pm

    I’ve been reading recent comments. In response to the most recent, talking to him will make no difference. He wont’ change. A person must manage the situation by seeing what’s going on, looking after themselves including by protecting personal boundaries, and living with the knowledge that no matter what you do, he won’t change. He may change tactics and behaviour but he will still be Mr Always right.

  • Susay October 31, 2015, 11:03 pm

    I have this same problem and sorry this kind of approach backfires everytime. He doesnt have any problems in his mind its all mine!

    • Diane November 1, 2015, 1:39 am

      Amen!! You’re singing my song too! Gotta just try to move on or live your own life separate from him. Sad that it would come to that after 30 yrs of marriage but it has in my case. I have to accept I have no husband, only one on paper, which by the way has more substance then he does.

      • Stephanie November 1, 2015, 7:42 pm

        I think my husband is mentally ill. He has been abusing me for the last ten years of our thirty year marriage. I m not sure where or how to get help.

      • Janice November 1, 2015, 11:46 pm

        An abusive person is not mentally ill. They are just plain evil.

  • Janice November 1, 2015, 1:41 am

    Dianne, I’m in the same boat.

  • Seanna November 1, 2015, 11:10 pm

    I try and come in a calm manner and write frankly is worse! If I say, you yelled at me today for something he’ll say …WELL YOU YELL AT ME! if I say, do you think what you said was loving, he’ll say. ..I don’t know is what you do loving? I swear no matter WHAT I say it’s like a parrot regurgitating the exact same statement. I’m at a loss I don’t know what to do but NEVER A DISCUSS ANYTHING. which I know will eventually ruin us. Please help, anyone?

  • Jennifer November 5, 2015, 12:32 pm

    Speaking to a controlling spouse within the confines of the home environment are not always beneficial to reaching true communication. What has happened in this situation is trust has been eroded for the wife and the relationship damaged by the behavior of the husband. However, this behavior toward his wife is probably a reflection of some past trauma in his relationships with other people (probably his own mother) and only through dedicated work with a psychiatrist or counselor will this man be able to accept his own behaviors as controlling, forgive his past relationships for making him scared to trust in this one, and help him build more positive interactive communication with his spouse. The husband must commit himself to working toward these goals.

    • Janice November 13, 2015, 10:30 am

      This type of can all too commonly be wired in whether by early training (before 3) or by brain trauma or inherited traits. We who post here would need solace less if our spouses were amenable to change. I cannot discuss with mine because he reinterprets what I say and reinvents my story to suit his agenda of always being right and ne always wrong. He refuses to see a counsellor or turns on the charm the few times I managed to drag him along. He seems to have no interest nor care about how I feel tet expects ( and believes he has) love and devition from me . There is no commin ground upon which we can communicate. He calls all the shots.

  • Sarah November 8, 2015, 7:16 pm

    Why does he NEED to be right? Was he hurt by someone? Is he intimidated by you or others? Does he need to prove something? Does he need a lot of approval in general?

    I suggest you read the book “The five love languages” and, if possible, get him to read it too. We all have different ways of needing to feel loved, maybe he is responding to feeling his needs are somehow not met.

    This is hard because it sounds like you are the victim in all of this…so, what do you want? Do you love him? Do you want to stay with him? If the answer is yes, a little ( or a lot) of determination to not be a victim and to (despite his lashing out) love him to the point of making sure his needs are met can take you a long way…why? Because love really is the answer.

    But don’t hear what I am not saying.

    If he (despite you being selfless and loving) still does not show you love in return, if he is abusive in any way, and for goodness sake if you have children that are watching….I wouldn’t (and for what it’s worth I believe you shouldn’t) settle for anything less than professional help and/or positive signs of changing behavior on his part.

    God bless you and good luck!

  • Eliza November 13, 2015, 9:58 am

    I could be in this situation in reverse. I don’t think that I am a mean monster or a narcissist. However, I have come to understand that one of the reasons that I act as I do is all the years of practice I had growing up with a parent unwilling to see any opinion other than her own. There was no recognition of any activity of mine unless it was something desired by her, although, I was never quite good enough. I can very much see the side of the initial letter writer – and will say that it is difficult to change myself, although I am trying (with professional help). For the life of me, however, sometimes I cannot see how my spouse puts up with my behavior at times.

  • joanie November 15, 2015, 2:21 pm

    Has anyone been able to successfully “argue” with this type of person yet?

    I’m at the point now where I just don’t want to speak or voice my opinion for anything.

    I know it’s not my fault he gets mad over the dumbest stuff but at what point can I just say ok and still be happy?! Ugghhh

  • LOST November 15, 2015, 4:22 pm

    So was there an answer? I absolutely hate conflict, it makes me uncomfortable. If i ever have an opinion that varies from my husbands he turns it into an argument. It is so bad that sometimes we agree and it is an argument. He rarely lets me talk….. I probably say less than 100 words to his 1000 words….. And I am scared to say something except only affirmative things just to avoid an argument. If he saw this, it would be an argument…. He does not realize that he just does not let me talk, and when I do talk 90% of the time he takes offense that i think anything and it turns into an argument. My husband is a great man, i am not writing this because i do not like him…. I love him so much it hurts…. Im writing this because i want him to understand how much i hate conflict, respect my opinions, listen without feeling like he needs to fix everything, listen without taking offense….. It is so bad lately that i feel lonely when i am right next to him because i do not want to argue with him or make him angry.

    • Joanie November 17, 2015, 12:19 am

      I am right there with you…lost…

      He’s starting to get very aggressive with me though….The more I give in and stop being myself and just be a slave to his anger, the more it seems like he doesn’t care that I’m
      Around. It’s starting to get more abusive too that I think I’m becoming a doormat !!!

    • Cal55 November 23, 2015, 3:01 pm

      I have discovered with my husband its become he wants the conflict. He just gets into every ones face and says I dare you to make me. The when they get to tired of him defying them they do, and that’s when the mouth of hell opens and everyone walks way bleeding and broken,
      I have seen armed intimidation used, people gang up on him, With armed intimidation he waits to catch them without their gun, Then he knocks them out and puts their hands on a hard place a just stomps on them until he knows they can never pull a trigger, As for me the only thing I could use to gain cooperation was sex denial in January he came home from a stress center, He was having Issues over the lose of feeling in his legs due to MRSA causing his spinal cord to be crushed in 2009, The fact I thought all the promises I had made to normalize our marital bed eventually I thought were not going to happen now he was crippled and I started an affair with an old boy friend, was caught the last time I was going to be with him and my husband came in to talk when his cane was swept by my old boy friend, I think it was more the humiliation of hitting the floor and the other man laughing and calling him a pathetic loser, That got my old boyfriend face and scull fractured. Two weeks latter his father told me they were keeping my husband in the center because nobody could be freed up to get him that night owing to the political fund raiser we were going to that evening, I was going to just accompany his fathers best friend as well as his mother and father. My husband was delivered home through his insurance and the first I knew was when I ran into his chest, He looked like a storm about to break. He backed me through the living room telling me what I owed him for the last 31 years and what I had returned for his support, he did not think some of the days I wanted to retreat and pull a hole in after me when he got mad He was again being told That he had to wait on something he had earned because others had more need was a return on what he had contributed in work, blood, sweat and pain, Some of the days were epic bringing the sheriff out and telling him he could either go to work or to jail his choice, that worked until he set up a video recorder and retained a civil libertys lawyer, He actually held his hands out and dared him to take him in he would love the county to pay out a multi year payout in the 100 million range for false arrest, Denial of civil rights. that was last year on memorial day, The sheriff told his deputy to get out of there. His father ended up with a broken jaw that evening. when my husband took the reservation made to after dinner drinks at the club for me and his fathers friend. away from his fathers friend telling his father he was taking me to the club. His father slapped my husband and was backhanded across our kitchen, The doorman that tried to keep my husband out of the club got his face smashed into the street pavement losing all his teeth. I have not been able to get any cooperation from my husband since 2009 In 2013 I was thrown to the floor and He had his way.
      He dared me to file charges he wanted the abuse of 42 years to come out in open court to make sure everyone was totally discredited, He wanted us to hurt as bad as he hurt. It was just to gain and keep his cooperation that I had denied his rights as a husband. He just stopped trying to talk things through and taking what he wanted. From sex to vacations he Has made it impossible to move without his inclusion. Holiday and vacation traditions are now no longer going to be with out him like they were for 32 years of our marriage, If three years ago he had been willing to come and talk things through then maybe it would have gone4 his way. Now he forces it to be his way or somebody will be hurt.
      I just came home and he’s in the living room I told him we were thinking of having Thanksgiving in the rehab were his father is I told him our son and I would bring him some sandwiches like we used to at where he worked. I had a book hit me in the side of my head, I looked at the tablet He uses to communicate with now, He said have fun My son stays I will not return. Or I could make a thanksgiving here this year and send his father the sandwiches. Again he is calling the shots, He is at least back to walking after the stroke six weeks ago. I will be talking to my mother about what to do latter I know that for the three years in rehab my husband was in the only thing he saw was the centers meal he did not even get sandwiches, I also know from 1985 to 2009 we never forgot he was being made to work and got sandwiches every time at his gate but once. I also know the pettiness of that once in 2008, When he slapped a friend of his father upside the face with the butt of a shotgun, then drew down on his father and two others He worked his sixteen hour shift came home and found the dinner we fixed in the warmer and took what he wanted and threw the rest in the yard another day of being petty because he was made to do something he did not want to do. We were the ones eating sandwiches that night at dennys.
      Four years later its more petty. Denying my right to go out with his fathers friend just for a dinner and because I had refused sex for decades he decided he was no longer waiting, he could have finally got a definite determination About his life instead he’s been trying to kill us. And I don’t know where I can turn to stop him. EVen Lawyers tell us we abused him for decades maybe its our turn> I am sorry if I did not make sense in parts I have been drinking a little. and crying.

  • Janice November 15, 2015, 4:43 pm

    The strategies that one can realistically use with Mr Always right are more like how to handle yourself in the relationship without being crushed. Direct agumentation with him is pointless. It is more about how to get your perspective across to him in non-confrontational ways. It is also good to receive moral support from people who share this experience. Not engaging when he outs you down or seeks to control you is a good ploy. I am learning more and more to do this. I also take advice from a sympathetic male friend: there are few things in life so important that they can’t wait 30 seconds. I make Me Always Right wait when I can even though he expects instant compliance. He learns more from actions than words. Some of these guys are probably autistic: lacking social and emotional awareness and skills.

  • Becka November 18, 2015, 11:37 pm


    • Becka November 19, 2015, 12:03 am

      My husband and I have been married for almost 17 years. I love him with all my heart. I feel he doesn’t value my opinions or thoughts. He may ask me what i think about something but he will always go with whatever he wants. I have asked him time and again why he even bothers asking me because he hardly ever goes with my suggestion. If i try to really talk about him not listening to me, he takes it really hard and says things over the top like “i’m sorry that i am such a horrible father and husband. .” Which is not true then i spend the rest of the time talking about how i don’t feel that way. I find that i will not give my opinions or thoughts on a matter because i know he won’t listen to it anyway. If we argue about it, i always relent after the fact and let him have his way.
      He works out of town now and i don’t want to argue when he is only home every third week. I know that he won’t change. His father was the same. He thought he was right all the time and whatever anyone else thought didn’t matter.
      I feel selfish to even think about separating. I feel that i should suck it up and deal. Which is very odd for me. I have always been a strong person and i value myself. I am not insecure by any means. I’m just frustrated and have no idea what i want to do. .

      • odinseye55 November 19, 2015, 2:24 pm

        Becka: In my marriage it was always please keep the peace in the society, don’t make people angry because I wanted, a holiday off, a vacation in the slot they wanted even if I had the seniority to take that slot, please don’t push your seniority right and take that shift or job, If I just sat back and let myself be pushed around, Not take any of the things that I had earned because my father or one of his many friends would be angry because I wanted the vacation slot at some other time other than the middle of the winter, Then she would say I swear that I will normalize our marriage bed, I will go to bat with your father and his friends and get them off my back about the next thing I wanted if I just would not press my right one more time.
        In 2001 her promise failed, I stopped believing a thing she would say or promise after 20 years of marriage, I knew about the other men my father would set her up to see while I worked my 12 hour shifts, I honestly by November 2001 wanted her my father and her society roasted on a spit dead.
        In that month I stopped cooperating. I took a job that the son of my fathers best friend wanted, I had 15 years seniority on him by that time, She again came to me and said if I just stayed put one more time she promised that she would normalize our marriage even talk to my father and his friends and my coworkers and beg that enough was enough. I had worked every day but six since the day we married in 1981 She would beg them not to get in my face about any thing my seniority earned again. I called her a tramp and liar and told her to please get me out from under the state assigned guardianship by stepping in front of a high speed semi,
        I had never wished any ones death before that day, She told my father and his group that her blackmail failed this time. she had nothing to use any longer to get me to do as they wanted. She also said my mood was one that could be a danger to her and others, My father told her I would see I had to do as I was told or suffer for it. The commissioners son and three others followed me up on my porch that night, Two were direct friends of my fathers, the commissioners son was the one wanting the job and his best friend. They gave me two options, Either go in and remove my name under my own power or get carried in. I offered my option leave or get carted away in a hearse or ambulance. I guess they decided they were going to take my option. All four ended up in critical care that morning. My wife ended up laying under the front door with me standing on it telling her the next time she locked me out to get hurt I would not be so nice, her next date would be with an undertaker as she was put in a hole in the ground. As they laid her and her friends in the ground.
        I ended up with my father and his friends using armed intimidation to gain my cooperation until I went under the knife in October 2009. I ended that night with out feeling from the top of my legs down four inches of my spinal cord crushed in a MRSA infection three years of rehab, three strokes and one open heart surgery for a MRSA leision. I come home to my wife’s latest Boy Friend telling me he was not going to take the guardianship, Thought it would be a great joke on the cripple to sweep his cane and put him on the floor. That was me! It was not the affair that angered me it was the laughter and him asking her how she ended up with such a pathetic husband, I got sat up with my cane and took the rubber tip off and heaved it as hard as I could sitting down. I missed her head but got his, Fractured his scull. He dropped like a stone.
        I got myself over beside him and she tried stopping what I did next and I just swatted her into the corner. When the police arrived, I was sitting beside him screaming who is pathetic now as my fist ploughed into his face, I ended up in a Straight jacket in the cool off room at a stress center that night, When my mother father and wife came to see me and talk to my doctor the next week I was pretty well drugged. My father and wife came out of their talk with the doctor an hour later while my mother tried to get me to make sense. My father and wife came out in a beeline for me and my mother. My wife had been crying and my father came up and started screaming I had no right to tell any one out side the family or his circle of how I had been treated for 42 years. He was yelling he had given me a simple order when I was 16, I was just to keep my mouth shut, do as I was told by everyone and I could not even do those simple things, He was screaming I was just a big baby because I refused to be a man. I should have gracefully accepted I lost and just let everything stand, I spent another night in the cool off room because the wheel chair they were letting me use to walk went through the plate glass doors when I picked it up and threw it at him.
        The next week they were releasing me back home, Because of my wife’s bi polar condition she is to afraid to drive so they called my father, He suggested they shove me out the door to walk the 20 miles home in -40 degree wind chills, said it would build my character. My insurance supplied the ride home When I arrived home my wife was in a new cocktail dress, and I said good it was time I got out someplace other than work, home, rehab, or her appointments.
        She said she had a promise to keep to my father and his best friend about going to a political fund raising diner with them and my mother. I just asked who paid for the outfit she was wearing, the jewelry, basically everything she had on to wear on another mans arm, She got my meaning right off the bat, I was going to be the one she was with that evening come hell or high water not my fathers friend, I did not care what her promise was. She started crying, She said reaching into her purse I will tell you what. Pick a place to meet after the event and we will be there and get all my grievances laid out from the last three decades, and they could figure out what I would be ALLOWED now I was crippled. At that point I had decided they had nothing to say any longer in what I was ALLOWED. Under the roof I had supplied, with the food and cloths I had supplied her for 31 years, the transportation I had supplied, I was the final judge and arbiter of what happened in my household, She had lost her right to say anything, I did not give her the choice about sex that evening, I don’t consider it my finest hour but I was totally tired of being pushed around in my life. I was tired of being used for nothing in return and I know I was in a rage. My fathers friend appeared first. I blockaded the door, told him to leave. He said I work in the mayors office I can enter any place in the county. I said not without a badge or warrant leave and come back with one. He looked at me and told me to get out of the way crip. I saw my fathers car coming into the drive. I thought get rid of two jerks as one picked his friend up and through him at his windshield. I missed landing his friend face first in the drive. My mother got out of the car and said I was home? She scooted past me as my father screamed at me to come help his bleeding friend. I just said I hope he bleeds out. My father took him to ER My wife was in the bedroom in a dressing gown talking to my mother about what rage I was showing, She asked her how could any one that loved her do something like this, My mother asked before the MRSA when was the last sex we had and my wife’s answer was truthful when she said two days before our wedding 31 years before. My mother just about tore her face off, Asked what right did she have to do that? My wife was again truthful when she said it was the only way for decades to gain my cooperation that it was my fathers idea, My mother called me in at that point. Asked me if there was more, I asked her if as the Massas wife she was asking or my mother. She got my point. She asked what had I been denied over the years, I told her besides sex, days off, vacations, holidays, I said you think I wanted to be on duty or at work 256 consecutive holidays. I said was it an indication that I was tired of being pushed in 1987, That the Sandwiches on new years eve 2008 that ruined their evening when I smeared the mustard all over her new cashmir dress Wasn’t that orient express trip were dad slide through the Airport concourse and everyone had to chase me down and beg me to ret6urn her purse and boarding pass after dad took mine and traded it in out of my computer case. My mother said I thought you were bumped off that trip because of a work emergency, I thought that new years eve was because of your fathers friends big mouth. When he said we will make sure your wife was well taken care of that night, It was a poor joke.
        She said I take it you did not want to work all those holidays and vacations, When my father got back from the ER that night my mother came out and told him to get in the car. He saw my wife in her dressing gown with her torn up cocktail dress in hand I told him he was not welcome to leave. He said not before I teach you a lesson in manners, I said if he raised one finger he was going off my porch face first through his windshield this time I would not miss. My mother round housed him and told him the evening was done. He said what did I do, He had to nip any idea that I had rights in the bud, She put her foot to his rear and shoved him off the porch.
        He says because of all my defiance the last two years I have caused my mother to despise him, I have alienated all his and my wife’s friends and now left him crippled just because he wanted me to learn manners twice. He cry’s that I hurt him when he wanted to teach me what I was not invited, meant this years vacation trip. He said your wife offered a good compromise. to allow me to go to Hawaii in 2018. He said but I made a defiance rule where my wife was invited so was I. He said she deserved something besides my defiance for the son she had from my raping her three years ago. He said but I had to come, break his neck, Defy all his friends this time and get everything in an uproar, al because I wanted to have hurt feeling about giving up my life for three decades, He told me that priests do it for there entire life why did I have to have my way. I told him I did not choose the monastic life it was chosen for me and walked out.
        I know there are women on here that will maintain I am some kind of a brute. I should have kept backing off until everyone else had their say, should have allowed my wife to continue having affairs while I provided her life instead of taking my right as a husband three years ago.
        just feel that instead of saving my life after my heart stopped twice in 2009 if they had just let me go instead of keeping me around to abuse some more,
        I am Crippled, but I will not let another person rule my life. Tell me because of my infirmity that I am pathetic, tell me they have the right to decide what I am allowed, I have two things that really get my goat now when the are said, Why don’t I look at the glass half full instead of empty, Or the other one is wait for tomorrow its always there, There are no guarantees it will be for me right now. I guess I let people run roughshod over me for years, I should not expect a vetran of the army and navy should have any consideration in life My three years under water. and two years in the eastern med don’t count for any thing. Except like oliver twist holding out my bowl and asking please sir I want some more gruel. I know that my anger carries me forward, and I hope for an end to pain, I hope that others listen to me about being made to be subservient and the actual cost of bending knee to tyrants.

  • Janice November 18, 2015, 11:45 pm

    Reading Aspergers Syndrome and Long Term Relationshios may help.

  • Arpita Sharma November 20, 2015, 2:14 am

    I’m sorry that you are in such a challenging relationship right now. It must be very frustrating constantly being made to feel you are wrong. One of my past relationships ended because I felt very disrespected by my partner for behaving this way. I’m not sure if this problem is fixable or not, maybe considering couples therapy might be helpful in this situation. You are deserving of respect and love from all of your relationships. I hope you find it in this one.

  • seanna November 22, 2015, 1:50 am

    I posted on this sight a few weeks ago, tonight my son and I were going to watch TV in our room. My husband seemed distraught over that decision even though he was out in the living room doing bills. I ask him calmly, ” do you have a problem with my son? ” (his step and he has NO children) long story short an argument insured about my 19 user old progress in life. I won’t bite you with the details but in essence he doesn’t approve of my raising. My twin sons are great people, are the behind in maturity. …yes. but respectful and thoughtful drug free baby free. A discussion would have been abs should have been fine up and until I went outside and behind me I hear, “Have a nice life” and the door locked. I immediately went to try and open it. Nope. Front door….nope the garage. ..locked! I banged on the door dating not ok and is freezing. He called the freaking police! Opened the door, I went to walk in and he blocked me said if I calmed down he would let me in. I said I don’t want to talk anymore he pushed me back out and the my jacket at me. I proceeded to wait for the police telling them no one was threatened no one hit anyone he’s unreasonable and is not ok to throw your sick wife out in below freezing weather because I don’t agree that I’m not being a supporting mother. Usually, as in my other post I don’t say anything when I want. I hold my tongue sooo much that I often feel beaten down but tonight, I’m sick and tonight is my son who’s being attacked. I want an opinion to validate my thoughts.

    Is it EVER ok to lock someone out if the house in the cold because you don’t agree? Why call the police? To try and get me in trouble? Believe you me last time he did they would have taken him if not for my explaining he had mental disorders! What to go my mother says that’s not love. Maybe. The problem is he can be so loving. But with this type of ma’am we’re all speaking of, cam he really ? Ever? I’m lost. I’m alone, I’m now worried because my son now feels super uncomfortable in a house that is obviously not his and for that matter mine. Where is the solace, three is none. So now the question we all have. …can he change. Does he even want to? And how can someone say they love you if you don’t agree with everything they do our day or believe without destruction of daily life to the point of locking you out of your home and making your children feel like they are living in a time bomb around every corner in the house.

    • Janice November 22, 2015, 3:17 am

      Men like this do not change. What he did to you was cruel, abusive and wrong. He has no right to an opinion on how you raised your kids. You woukd have done a better job than him. You cannot trust this man. You are wise to bite your tongue. What you need is more on your life for yourself. Do not coddle him, not even when he’s in a good mood. His affection is more like dependence, to your detriment.

  • cheryl hogren November 22, 2015, 11:47 am

    My husband is the same way. What I do is after the argument I will write it down (are “discussion”), date and time included (and maybe signature of a witness who sees what is written before given to Mr always right) I will write what is said on both sides, and then I write what will happen when he is confronted with this. (he will often reverse what each of us has said in order to be right) He did not talk to me for 2 days but it has been 2 years since we have had a huge “Im right your wrong” fight.


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