How to argue with Mr. Always Right

A Reader Participation Post

Here’s a “biggest marital problem” sent to me by a reader:

My husband is aggressive, rude, and is always right and I am always wrong. Therefore I no longer have serious conversations with him. I try to avoid talking about anything that he might find upsetting, even though it may be something that is upsetting to me. We basically don’t have a relationship. I desperately would like to have a relationship, but I honestly don’t know if my husband is capable of it. I just agree with what he says. If I don’t he gets very angry and says that I just want to argue. If I ask him questions he gets angry too, so I will just ask him one question if I want to know something. If I don’t like or don’t understand his answer, I won’t say anything because that makes him very angry. What should I do?

Readers: This is all you. Can you help this reader with her biggest marital problem?

418 comments… add one

  • Amy April 20, 2016, 1:57 am

    Talking doesn’t work with a self absorbed narcissist. Thats most of the problem…no communication…and when there is talk you are always wrong. I live it everyday. If i say something I’m wrong..if I don’t say anything I’m wrong. So~ my choice is to leave with my kids. 7 years of trying to be patient, understanding, and loving to someone that verbally and emotionally abuses is enough. I’m done walking on eggshells and everyone scattering to their corners when he comes home…..leaving is the only option.

    Reply
    • Courtney April 22, 2016, 5:20 pm

      I’m doing the exact same thing after 7 years… I am not aloud to have feeling because they are always wrong…he has successfully just pushed my dad out of the picture 2 days ago and today I’ve been calling lawyers and getting everything around to divorce and leave him. … it is abusive it’s verbally and emotionally abusive…. thank goodness it hasn’t gotten physical but I’m not waiting around for that either

      Reply
      • Janice April 22, 2016, 6:43 pm

        It has been said before here: read Patricia Evan’s book, “The Verbally Abusive Relationship”. There is another good book called ” Why Does He Do That”, a bit more heavy going but knows the subject of abusive men

  • Kelly April 20, 2016, 1:53 pm

    He sounds abusive – I would get out now

    Reply
  • Glenda April 24, 2016, 9:57 pm

    I’m searching for what to do. Been with him for 5 years….married 4 years. Separated for 3 months last year as he wanted a woman who would be a submissive to his thoughts of swinglife. So far he hasn’t brought that back up but at 60 years old…..admit it….who wants to be alone and start again? I’m so sad as he is almost 65 and pretty sure bipolar as he is at everyone’s beckon call but mine. He is too busy helping his friends to go to our boat on Lake Mead every weekend. I’m at a loss but think he is bipolar!

    Reply

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