How to argue with Mr. Always Right

A Reader Participation Post

Here’s a “biggest marital problem” sent to me by a reader:

My husband is aggressive, rude, and is always right and I am always wrong. Therefore I no longer have serious conversations with him. I try to avoid talking about anything that he might find upsetting, even though it may be something that is upsetting to me. We basically don’t have a relationship. I desperately would like to have a relationship, but I honestly don’t know if my husband is capable of it. I just agree with what he says. If I don’t he gets very angry and says that I just want to argue. If I ask him questions he gets angry too, so I will just ask him one question if I want to know something. If I don’t like or don’t understand his answer, I won’t say anything because that makes him very angry. What should I do?

Readers: This is all you. Can you help this reader with her biggest marital problem?

426 comments… add one

  • Amy April 20, 2016, 1:57 am

    Talking doesn’t work with a self absorbed narcissist. Thats most of the problem…no communication…and when there is talk you are always wrong. I live it everyday. If i say something I’m wrong..if I don’t say anything I’m wrong. So~ my choice is to leave with my kids. 7 years of trying to be patient, understanding, and loving to someone that verbally and emotionally abuses is enough. I’m done walking on eggshells and everyone scattering to their corners when he comes home…..leaving is the only option.

    Reply
    • Courtney April 22, 2016, 5:20 pm

      I’m doing the exact same thing after 7 years… I am not aloud to have feeling because they are always wrong…he has successfully just pushed my dad out of the picture 2 days ago and today I’ve been calling lawyers and getting everything around to divorce and leave him. … it is abusive it’s verbally and emotionally abusive…. thank goodness it hasn’t gotten physical but I’m not waiting around for that either

      Reply
      • Janice April 22, 2016, 6:43 pm

        It has been said before here: read Patricia Evan’s book, “The Verbally Abusive Relationship”. There is another good book called ” Why Does He Do That”, a bit more heavy going but knows the subject of abusive men

  • Kelly April 20, 2016, 1:53 pm

    He sounds abusive – I would get out now

    Reply
  • Glenda April 24, 2016, 9:57 pm

    I’m searching for what to do. Been with him for 5 years….married 4 years. Separated for 3 months last year as he wanted a woman who would be a submissive to his thoughts of swinglife. So far he hasn’t brought that back up but at 60 years old…..admit it….who wants to be alone and start again? I’m so sad as he is almost 65 and pretty sure bipolar as he is at everyone’s beckon call but mine. He is too busy helping his friends to go to our boat on Lake Mead every weekend. I’m at a loss but think he is bipolar!

    Reply
  • Linda May 5, 2016, 11:19 pm

    How to respond when you are trying to have a conversation and you get “don’t talk to me right now”?

    Reply
  • Janice May 5, 2016, 11:32 pm

    Try saying the same thing to him some time and see if there’s a difference. Then consider, how that makes you feel.

    Reply
  • Lnda May 6, 2016, 1:33 am

    r, afraid to leave name? Maybe hurt? That’s what this site is for. I’ve been with my high school sweetheart for45 years and 3 grown children over 35 are doing well. Life isn’t perfect as YOU must know. Any constructive feedback on how to get a guy to listen to what a woman’s concerns are when he is stressed from his own problems?

    Reply
  • Janice May 6, 2016, 2:21 am

    Forget it. Mr Right won’t listen. Those are his terms and he calls all the shots

    Reply
  • Janice May 7, 2016, 3:10 pm

    Basically every Mr Always Right is simply an anusive Man. Most of them never change and changing is a long hard road. It’s easier for them to keep taki g it out on us, or someone else like us, should we have the courage to leave.

    Reply
  • Rue May 13, 2016, 8:56 pm

    Hi

    Reply
  • Linda May 14, 2016, 1:02 am

    I am 60+ married 45 years 3 kids 3 grandsons. Adore them all. Baby girl is dads girl and has her dads personality treated like a queen. I tried so hard for that girl after 2 boys and thought she would be my girl. Two older brothers a mix of us both. Oldest always expected to be perfect so his son from ex wife treated poorly as hate for his ex by his dad. His second son had done ok so nothing is ever said to him. I married a perfectionist I guess. I see that now!! If this is you and you are young stop trying to please him to keep your sanity. Mine is gone and only want to survive my days now. You don’t want to be me. My kids are grown. I’ll do what I can for my grandsons hope they survive their parents problems that I can no longer change. I will not be a puppet any longer yet thank my ability to survive to do better. Take care of your kids when they are learning relationships. It might not save yours but it might make them have better ones.

    Reply
  • Jo May 23, 2016, 7:15 pm

    Rrrhhhh you poor woman u….xxx
    Id get a gun myself and stick it up his arse…

    Your waisted on this man, look after yourself get out, get mo re friends, slowley make yourself with things you enjoy and spend as little time with him….then when he srarts your happy in your life and hes wondering whys there no affect this will change him as he wants ur attention only tnen engage with him ge will tealise sooner or later….be happy v thats your b g oal do one thing a day u lov e then all of a sudden your stronger happy and life will be great xxx big hugs u lovley women. Joanne

    Reply

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