Comments for Project Happily Ever After http://www.projecthappilyeverafter.com Because life after "I do" isn't always so charming Wed, 08 Feb 2012 04:46:05 +0000 hourly 1 Comment on The Day I Melted Down at a Fast Food Drive Thru by Ann Marie http://www.projecthappilyeverafter.com/2012/02/the-day-i-melted-down-at-a-fast-food-drive-thru/comment-page-1/#comment-107124 Ann Marie Wed, 08 Feb 2012 04:46:05 +0000 http://www.projecthappilyeverafter.com/?p=6966#comment-107124 The only thing I think you did wrong is try to be Super Woman. We've all been there, so don't beat yourself up over it. A couple people suggested talking with your kiddo about why you "went off". I am really big on that. My daughter is in middle school and I have two year old twins (and a dog, a rabbit, some fish - oh yeah and a husband!) so the oldest has heard her share of mom losing it. We talk A LOT afterward. I think those talks help me keep my cool the next time I am in such a crazy state better than anything else does. Knowing that I am "accountable" to her helps me remember to set the good example, not the poor one. But I still have moments of weakness... ;-) The only thing I think you did wrong is try to be Super Woman. We’ve all been there, so don’t beat yourself up over it. A couple people suggested talking with your kiddo about why you “went off”. I am really big on that. My daughter is in middle school and I have two year old twins (and a dog, a rabbit, some fish – oh yeah and a husband!) so the oldest has heard her share of mom losing it. We talk A LOT afterward. I think those talks help me keep my cool the next time I am in such a crazy state better than anything else does. Knowing that I am “accountable” to her helps me remember to set the good example, not the poor one. But I still have moments of weakness… ;-)

]]> Comment on The Day I Melted Down at a Fast Food Drive Thru by Treven http://www.projecthappilyeverafter.com/2012/02/the-day-i-melted-down-at-a-fast-food-drive-thru/comment-page-1/#comment-107122 Treven Wed, 08 Feb 2012 04:21:00 +0000 http://www.projecthappilyeverafter.com/?p=6966#comment-107122 Why did you have to drive the whole hour round trip to bring the suitcase? I don't know the situation, obviously. But if you "help out" with that class, is there someone you regularly help who could have/should have stepped up to help you on this hectic day when all you were trying to do was fit in care-taking for your daughter, your sick dog, your puppy, and the meditation class as well? Could they have met you halfway? Why did you have to drive the whole hour round trip to bring the suitcase? I don’t know the situation, obviously. But if you “help out” with that class, is there someone you regularly help who could have/should have stepped up to help you on this hectic day when all you were trying to do was fit in care-taking for your daughter, your sick dog, your puppy, and the meditation class as well? Could they have met you halfway?

]]> Comment on The Day I Melted Down at a Fast Food Drive Thru by Katie http://www.projecthappilyeverafter.com/2012/02/the-day-i-melted-down-at-a-fast-food-drive-thru/comment-page-1/#comment-107120 Katie Wed, 08 Feb 2012 03:09:04 +0000 http://www.projecthappilyeverafter.com/?p=6966#comment-107120 This post made me get tears in my eyes. Maybe its because I'm pregnant & hormonal, but its partly that I can totally relate to the frustrated feelings you described & also the disappointed in yourself feelings too. My son isnt 3 until April so I think I place unrealistic expectations on his behaviours sometimes or I just let his behavior affect mine.. I seem to start the day off as nice mum & depending on how my day goes sometimes by the afternoon I find myself snapping & getting so frustrated & I often realize that sometimes it's more because I'm in a hurry because I haven't planned my day well or gotten as much done at home as I'd have liked. I'm trying to learn to walk away & calm down but I'd sure like to see what you have to say next as I'd like to be a calmer, more empathetic mumma whilst also bringing up a thoughful child. I This post made me get tears in my eyes. Maybe its because I’m pregnant & hormonal, but its partly that I can totally relate to the frustrated feelings you described & also the disappointed in yourself feelings too.
My son isnt 3 until April so I think I place unrealistic expectations on his behaviours sometimes or I just let his behavior affect mine.. I seem to start the day off as nice mum & depending on how my day goes sometimes by the afternoon I find myself snapping & getting so frustrated & I often realize that sometimes it’s more because I’m in a hurry because I haven’t planned my day well or gotten as much done at home as I’d have liked. I’m trying to learn to walk away & calm down but I’d sure like to see what you have to say next as I’d like to be a calmer, more empathetic mumma whilst also bringing up a thoughful child.
I
Katie´s last [type] ..Photographic wishlist

]]> Comment on The Day I Melted Down at a Fast Food Drive Thru by Amanda http://www.projecthappilyeverafter.com/2012/02/the-day-i-melted-down-at-a-fast-food-drive-thru/comment-page-1/#comment-107118 Amanda Wed, 08 Feb 2012 02:19:50 +0000 http://www.projecthappilyeverafter.com/?p=6966#comment-107118 I keep nuts in my backpack, plus a refillable waterbottle. That way when low blood sugar strikes I'm good. The nuts don't get as funky as powerbars can. The foul language probably wasn't the best choice, but from what I've picked up your child is old enough to be aware of what's going on. Did you explain that it was going to be a stressful day for you because of your doggy friend? Most children are capable of rising to the occasion if you explain what's going on beforehand. My step-daughter has expressed that to me before, that if she knows what's going on she knows not to take me personally if I get snippy, & knows to help me more. Talking it out afterward would be good too. Just remember that you are human, you will make mistakes & have bad days. Don't forget to forgive yourself. Setting that example for the child is really important too. I keep nuts in my backpack, plus a refillable waterbottle. That way when low blood sugar strikes I’m good. The nuts don’t get as funky as powerbars can.
The foul language probably wasn’t the best choice, but from what I’ve picked up your child is old enough to be aware of what’s going on. Did you explain that it was going to be a stressful day for you because of your doggy friend? Most children are capable of rising to the occasion if you explain what’s going on beforehand. My step-daughter has expressed that to me before, that if she knows what’s going on she knows not to take me personally if I get snippy, & knows to help me more. Talking it out afterward would be good too.
Just remember that you are human, you will make mistakes & have bad days. Don’t forget to forgive yourself. Setting that example for the child is really important too.

]]> Comment on The Day I Melted Down at a Fast Food Drive Thru by Missy http://www.projecthappilyeverafter.com/2012/02/the-day-i-melted-down-at-a-fast-food-drive-thru/comment-page-1/#comment-107117 Missy Wed, 08 Feb 2012 02:15:26 +0000 http://www.projecthappilyeverafter.com/?p=6966#comment-107117 I agree with what another reader said about leaving food in the car. I have 2 kids, with one on the way, and I've finally learned that my life is a lot easier when I keep my purse and car stuffed with healthy snacks and bottled water. Long line? Munch on some Bunny Grahams, guys. Stuck in traffic? Here kids, have a granola bar and some water. This has prevented many meltdowns over the years. It's also helped me fight off my own hunger pangs during long shopping trips or boring appointments. I agree with what another reader said about leaving food in the car. I have 2 kids, with one on the way, and I’ve finally learned that my life is a lot easier when I keep my purse and car stuffed with healthy snacks and bottled water. Long line? Munch on some Bunny Grahams, guys. Stuck in traffic? Here kids, have a granola bar and some water. This has prevented many meltdowns over the years. It’s also helped me fight off my own hunger pangs during long shopping trips or boring appointments.
Missy´s last [type] ..oDesk Scam Artists: Signs Writers Need to Look For

]]> Comment on The Day I Melted Down at a Fast Food Drive Thru by B. Martin http://www.projecthappilyeverafter.com/2012/02/the-day-i-melted-down-at-a-fast-food-drive-thru/comment-page-1/#comment-107112 B. Martin Tue, 07 Feb 2012 23:44:47 +0000 http://www.projecthappilyeverafter.com/?p=6966#comment-107112 Dear Alisa, a touching story and it sounds familiar to me. It's easy to be wise after the event. ;-) My experience is: if it can be foreseen that a situation (like yours that day) will create a lot of stress and hurry, it might be a good idea to try to find another solution which avoids all the chaos instead of planning to be a hero(ine) being doomed to failure with significant probability... I don't know if there would have been another solution, but if you had been talking to the vet about alternatives, you might have found out that it could be better to let the dog stay there over night. What is also very familiar: being rude to the loved ones (especially our children and spouse) when under pressure.... And your description of the whole situation and your feelings and well-meant try to calm down is absolutely to the point - thank you! I'm looking forward to part II. Kind regards B. Dear Alisa,

a touching story and it sounds familiar to me.
It’s easy to be wise after the event. ;-)

My experience is: if it can be foreseen that a situation (like yours that day) will create a lot of stress and hurry, it might be a good idea to try to find another solution which avoids all the chaos instead of planning to be a hero(ine) being doomed to failure with significant probability…

I don’t know if there would have been another solution, but if you had been talking to the vet about alternatives, you might have found out that it could be better to let the dog stay there over night.

What is also very familiar: being rude to the loved ones (especially our children and spouse) when under pressure….

And your description of the whole situation and your feelings and well-meant try to calm down is absolutely to the point – thank you!

I’m looking forward to part II.

Kind regards

B.

]]> Comment on The Day I Melted Down at a Fast Food Drive Thru by Mandy http://www.projecthappilyeverafter.com/2012/02/the-day-i-melted-down-at-a-fast-food-drive-thru/comment-page-1/#comment-107111 Mandy Tue, 07 Feb 2012 23:12:19 +0000 http://www.projecthappilyeverafter.com/?p=6966#comment-107111 The crying makes perfect sense to me. It all makes perfect sense to me. I don't really think you did anything wrong, and I don't see any need to apologize to the child, who is probably old enough to learn to whine less and help more. (Except that you might want to apologize for using foul language.) Carla's idea of keeping some food in the car is a good one. I carry protein bars in my purse when I suspect I'm going to be pressed for time. Anyway, I hope you and your daughter are both feeling better and that the dog is okay. The crying makes perfect sense to me. It all makes perfect sense to me. I don’t really think you did anything wrong, and I don’t see any need to apologize to the child, who is probably old enough to learn to whine less and help more. (Except that you might want to apologize for using foul language.) Carla’s idea of keeping some food in the car is a good one. I carry protein bars in my purse when I suspect I’m going to be pressed for time. Anyway, I hope you and your daughter are both feeling better and that the dog is okay.

]]> Comment on The Day I Melted Down at a Fast Food Drive Thru by Ayelet http://www.projecthappilyeverafter.com/2012/02/the-day-i-melted-down-at-a-fast-food-drive-thru/comment-page-1/#comment-107103 Ayelet Tue, 07 Feb 2012 21:07:14 +0000 http://www.projecthappilyeverafter.com/?p=6966#comment-107103 First, you writing is amazing. I was able to imagine each incident. Second, don't be so hard on yourself. We all go through days like this. Don't forget you are only human. You can't always do the right thing. Sometimes we just need to survive and remember that "tommorrow is another day" with a new energies and an opportunity to do better. About the crying: did it help? did it make you feel liberated? How is your dog? Did you talk with your daughter about what happened that day? Did you apologize for your behaviour? Maybe it's a good lesson to teach her that no one is perfect and that even her mom has her limits and weaknesses. First, you writing is amazing. I was able to imagine each incident. Second, don’t be so hard on yourself. We all go through days like this. Don’t forget you are only human. You can’t always do the right thing. Sometimes we just need to survive and remember that “tommorrow is another day” with a new energies and an opportunity to do better.
About the crying: did it help? did it make you feel liberated?
How is your dog?
Did you talk with your daughter about what happened that day? Did you apologize for your behaviour? Maybe it’s a good lesson to teach her that no one is perfect and that even her mom has her limits and weaknesses.

]]> Comment on The Day I Melted Down at a Fast Food Drive Thru by Carla H. http://www.projecthappilyeverafter.com/2012/02/the-day-i-melted-down-at-a-fast-food-drive-thru/comment-page-1/#comment-107100 Carla H. Tue, 07 Feb 2012 20:29:14 +0000 http://www.projecthappilyeverafter.com/?p=6966#comment-107100 First, you are SOOOO not alone. I find I am about to break down in the grocery store, of all places, when I'm rushed after working, taking my kid to karate, soccer or Girl Scouts and then rushing to get some dinner in before bedtime but realized there was nothing at home to make! Keep a baggie of trail mix in the car or in your purse for the kid or even a granola bar and a bottle of water but make sure you regularly exchange these so you don't have half bottles of water in every door of the car and some crusty old petrified fruit bars in the center console (learned from experience), hug your kid, tell her you're having a bad day and you just need a little bit of help, giving her choices of what she can do (i.e. take the puppy out or feed the puppy). Then, after finding out the old dog was staying overnight, ditch the McDonald's and take the kid and the hubby to a sit down meal and BREATHE! First, you are SOOOO not alone. I find I am about to break down in the grocery store, of all places, when I’m rushed after working, taking my kid to karate, soccer or Girl Scouts and then rushing to get some dinner in before bedtime but realized there was nothing at home to make! Keep a baggie of trail mix in the car or in your purse for the kid or even a granola bar and a bottle of water but make sure you regularly exchange these so you don’t have half bottles of water in every door of the car and some crusty old petrified fruit bars in the center console (learned from experience), hug your kid, tell her you’re having a bad day and you just need a little bit of help, giving her choices of what she can do (i.e. take the puppy out or feed the puppy). Then, after finding out the old dog was staying overnight, ditch the McDonald’s and take the kid and the hubby to a sit down meal and BREATHE!

]]> Comment on The Day I Melted Down at a Fast Food Drive Thru by Sarah Liz http://www.projecthappilyeverafter.com/2012/02/the-day-i-melted-down-at-a-fast-food-drive-thru/comment-page-1/#comment-107099 Sarah Liz Tue, 07 Feb 2012 20:27:57 +0000 http://www.projecthappilyeverafter.com/?p=6966#comment-107099 I think recognizing you weren't feeling "centered" and that you could feel your anger brewing was beneficial. I also think that ANYONE trying to take care of kids and pets and work is often overhwhelmed. We've ALL had our moments of frustration, cussing tantrums and "just shut up!", all of us. I think you were too hard on yourself. But if I had to pick one thing "wrong," even though I believe we all react/respond as needed in most any given situation, it'd be this: allow yourself a window of time, say 5 minutes, to cry and scream and then go about your day/night. Set a timer, lock yourself in a bathroom, or wherever you can and just scream and cry. Pets are family members and when they're sick, it's stressful. This is a great story, one full of humanity and realism and I'm looking forward to the rest of it. Many Blessings, -Sarah Liz :) I think recognizing you weren’t feeling “centered” and that you could feel your anger brewing was beneficial. I also think that ANYONE trying to take care of kids and pets and work is often overhwhelmed. We’ve ALL had our moments of frustration, cussing tantrums and “just shut up!”, all of us. I think you were too hard on yourself. But if I had to pick one thing “wrong,” even though I believe we all react/respond as needed in most any given situation, it’d be this: allow yourself a window of time, say 5 minutes, to cry and scream and then go about your day/night. Set a timer, lock yourself in a bathroom, or wherever you can and just scream and cry. Pets are family members and when they’re sick, it’s stressful. This is a great story, one full of humanity and realism and I’m looking forward to the rest of it.

Many Blessings,
-Sarah Liz :)

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