Project Happily Ever After

I’m just not, so please stop asking me that question. I haven’t bought a single gift. I own not one roll of holiday wrapping paper. Our tree is here, in its stand, with no lights or decorations.

We have no lights outside, either. Got it? None. I also have no cards and I haven’t written the annual Christmas letter that one is supposed to write. In fact, I told my husband that I was planning on skipping a year or two or three.

Does anyone want my Christmas letter? I didn’t think so.

This morning, I woke at 7:45 a.m. and the electronic calendar known as my Momnesia Brain suddenly remembered that our daughter’s Holiday Pageant was today. It would start at 9:30 a.m. She was supposed to show up wearing Christmas pajamas.

My daughter does not own a set of Christmas pajamas.

This was a problem.

The following thoughts ran through my mind, “Why do these people expect us working parents to go out and buy a pair of stupid pajamas that our kids are only going to wear once? Do they not know that there is a recession going on at the moment? And why do they hold these things at 9:30 in the morning anyway? Am I not paying for preschool so I can work? If I am at preschool watching my Not Dressed Correctly daughter singing Christmas songs, how am I supposed to be working so I can earn the $7,000 a year I need to pay for preschool? Huh?”

Indeed, somewhere between Labor Day—when my grocery store put up its Christmas display annoyingly too early—and now, I have totally lost the Christmas Spirit. Just call me Mother Grinch.

Will my Mommy ever be ready for Christmas?

So I got out of bed and I did the usual. I made breakfast and rushed around, brushing teeth, washing faces, and getting dressed. I found a pair of Spider-Man jammies. They are red after all. I found a Christmas sweater my mother in law had given to our daughter a year ago.  I pulled the sweater over her Spider-Man top. I found a Santa hat that God Knows Who gave us at some point. I’m sure I said a fake thank you at the time because, truth be told, I think Holiday Clothing is just ugly beyond words. Now I was very thankful for God Knows Who. The hat was sized for an adult-it probably, in fact, was sized for someone with a head the size of mine, not that I’ve ever worn such a hat or ever will.

It engulfed her little head.

Off to the glorious pageant we went.

I didn’t have a chance to drink coffee, so I called my husband and asked him to meet me at the pageant with a cup of coffee in his hand.

“I’ll try to remember that,” he said.

“You damn well better remember,” I whispered into the phone.

He did.

I guzzled the coffee as the kids sang, “Up on the House Top.”

As the caffeine flooded my brain, I decided that my daughter looked really cute in her Spider-Man Holiday outfit. I also decided that she was the best little singer at the school.

About halfway through “Rudolf the Red Nose Reindeer” I decided that Christmas Pageants weren’t so bad after all. I made a mental note to invite Grandma and Grandpa to attend next year.

Then came, “We wish you a Merry Christmas….We wish you a Happy Hanukkah… We with you a Happy Kwanzaa and a Happy New Year.”

Tears streamed down my cheeks as the other parents laughed and applauded. Suddenly my Momnesia ebbed for a moment and I remembered that I cried during this song last year, too. Some people cry at weddings. I cry at “We Wish You a Merry Christmas.” Sue me.

I tried to smile as I wiped my tears. As I did so, I realized that Christmas was indeed coming this year, whether I was ready for it or not. More important, even if I never got lights on the tree, wrapped a single gift, or bought a stupid Christmas outfit, we’d all be just as happy. We really would. Maybe Christmas isn’t so bad after all.

If you liked this post, you also might like, “How to receive a stupid gift.”

A Holiday Prayer: I truly am blessed to have a happy and healthy child. Not all parents are. Please pray for Sophie, Marco, Dante and all of the other children who are struggling with life threatening illnesses this year. Sophie, in particular, is a baby who will be undergoing her 5th round of chemotherapy this holiday season. Her parents could use your prayers and support.

Need more Holiday Momspiration? Check out the Carnival of Mommy Bloggers.

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