Lori Lowe has written a new book called First Kiss to Lasting Bliss. Much like the Cup of Comfort and Chicken Soup for the Soul series, it profiles several happily married couples, providing the reader with touching stories about their efforts to stay happy. It’s a great resource for anyone who wants to have a happy relationship no matter where you are in your marriage journey.
I asked Lori to tell us more about the book and why she was compelled to write it. What follows is a post in her words. At the end, learn how you can win a free copy of this great book.
What 12 Couples Taught Me About Marriage
By Lori D. Lowe
A couple of summers ago, I went geode hunting at the Fox River in Missouri. Are you familiar with these cauliflower-like rocks with crystals inside? It made me realize that marriages are a lot like geodes—often mired in mud and muck, with pressure on all sides, but with unseen beauty on the inside.
Why do some relationships reveal crystals, while others just store gunk that eats away at them? I wanted to know more about the secrets of marital success. So, for two years, I interviewed happily married couples whose marriages didn’t just survive adversity, but were changed by it. They became great love stories that can offer hope and help to others.
Many of these couples know tough times all too well. From overcoming drug addiction and child loss to experiencing brain injury and aggressive cancer and more, life dealt rough challenges. Religious and racial differences, infidelity, infertility and military separations further threatened to divide many of them. I collected their stories and insights in my new book.
Fortunately, they all learned a great deal from these experiences, and they were willing to share both their challenges and what made them worth going through. In fact, some of them say it was the challenges that led them to stronger marriages.
Whether in despair or grief or by force of will, they turned toward one another to share their feelings. (Sometimes it took a long period of struggle to get to that point.) They re-committed to their marriages, and they determined to work daily to improve their relationships.
A few lessons they taught me include:
- Live each day with gratitude, especially during difficult times.
- Have each other’s back when others attempt to divide you.
- Focus on your strengths, not your sorrows.
- Happiness is not the goal of marriage. Some stages of life may not be happy, but don’t give up hope, because happiness is often a wonderful byproduct of deep and lasting love.
Read their stories and the overarching lessons in First Kiss to Lasting Bliss. Receive seven free marriage tools and thank-you gifts by purchasing the book in print or e-book format. This collection can give your marriage a great boost for 2012!
Lori Lowe is a journalist, GenXer, and child of divorce. Her book, First Kiss to Lasting Bliss: Hope & Inspiration for Your Marriage has just been released on Amazon.com and in various e-book formats at LoriDLowe.com. Couples featured in the book experienced many challenges, including infertility, stranger rape, child loss, infidelity, drug addiction, unsupportive families, faith differences, military separation, life-threatening illness, raising a special-needs child, financial crises and much more. You can also connect with Lori at www.Facebook.com/LastingBliss or on Twitter @LoriLowe.
WIN A COPY OF FIRST KISS! Leave a comment on this post. I’ll pick a winner by random drawing Tuesday morning. Tell me: what lessons have you learned from the happily married people in your life? Conversely, what lessons have you learned from the unhappily married? And what lessons have you learned from your own marriage that you’d like to share with others?
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{ 18 comments… read them below or add one }
That you have to take the good and bad, regardless.. Life is nothing but a series of rotating opportunities and difficulties. The quick and that smart see this for what it is, embrace it and learn to grow with them. The unhappy let themselves be ruled by them or fall victim to the circumstances around them.
Jason Anthony´s last [type] ..How Make Your Relationship Work For You
I com from a family of divorced people. There is only one couple on either side of my family that has not been divorced at least once (or more!) Because of that, I was hesitant to get married in the first place. They made jokeS
Haha, my child hit enter.. anyway… they made jokes about marriage and were really negative. Then I met my husband’s parents. At the time they were married for nearly thirty years and acted like high school kids. They have been through the loss of parents, kids growing up and moving out, a life threatening motorcycle accident that has caused so many more issues and so much more and through it al lthey are committed to one another. They taught me that it really is possible but you can’t just give up because it is hard. They are open and say that they don’t always like what the other person does or says but they still love that person. That is what makes it worth it!
Before getting married, my youngest daughter took a hard look at the marriages of the people around her, including her grandparents. What made their marriages work? I think it would be good if everyone had this approach prior to tying the knot.
Alexandra´s last [type] ..Walking Wellfleet’s Marina After Hours
I have learned that the urge to ‘change’ my husband is usually a sign that something inside me has changed, or needs to be changed.
I will definitely be looking for this book! It is easy to find examples and reasons to dislike our spouse, but spending time learning habits of happy couples makes us desire to work together more. This sounds like a very uplifting book.
Wendy´s last [type] ..Try, Try Again
That it’s not always easy and you will encounter some rough patches but the best thing you can do at those times is to work through it and ask for help if you need it. All the happy couples I know have sought out help at some point in their marriage.
My husband and I have been through some of the worst ups and downs and still managed to work through them. So often today you hear that people are willing to give up and throw in the towel. Relationships aren’t about being happy 100% of the time they are about working on the issues together to make the relationship what it can be. Being married isn’t always the easiest job but can be one of the most rewarding.
I have learned that compromise is a very big key to a successful marriage. In addition, I think it is extremely important to show each other every day how much you love each other – through words and actions.
I look forward to reading First Kiss. I think reading about and learning from the experiences of others has been very helpful to me. It also gives me great ideas for improving my own marriage!
Having been married and divorced twice, I have learned some things. These might not help the already married.
1. Don’t get married unless you are happy by yourself. Noone can make you happy but you. Know who you are first.
2. I would not get married again unless I lived with him first.
3. Don’t compromise what is most important to you to stay married. If you don’t know what is important to you, figure it out!
I’d love to read this book! I saw from my parents’ marriage how you can be fully aware of your partners’ shortcomings and love them anyway.
Susan´s last [type] ..Guest Post: 3 Ways to Get Out of a Blogging Slump
life doesn’t remains same after marriage. one have to face many changes but if you want to spend your marriage life happily than you have to do compromise in some places.
Relationship Advice for Arab Women´s last [type] ..Where Have All Gentlemen Gone?
I learned all I needed to know about what NOT to do in a marriage from my parent’s 30 year tumultuous relationship, which of course, eventually ended in divorce. With the help & advice of other happily married couples, my husband and I have (and are still) overcoming infertitly, loss of a job, differences in faith, family wars (our in-laws don’t really get along), infidelity, and drug addictions, along with your normal marriage problems. all within the first year of our marriage! It has really helped me to know that we are not the only ones that are going through this craziness, and if others overcame it,so can we. I was struggling through the infidelity when I ran across Alisa’s blogs. I had decided that in order to get through this thing, I needed to remain positive, and focus on what I loved about my husband. I feel my attitude adjustment really helped, and it is still helping today.
I have watched my parents marriage and realized after a difficult detour in my own marriage that marriage is work but the reward is so worth the effort. The best things are definately harder to achieve.
Brook´s last [type] ..12 Gifts of Christmas Tradition
I come from a home where my parents lived unhappily together most my life and divorced shortly after I left for college. Now I’m engaged to my best friend and we are very firm to the belief that marriage is forever and we will be able to weather any turbulence that comes our way. In the back of my mind there may always be a small sliver of doubt that someone would choose to love me and put up with me for the rest of our lives. The most I can do at any point is listen, love, be supportive of crazy law enforcement schedules and scarce employment and learn from some of the beautiful long relationships we are surrounded by. One amazing example is my grandparents who just celebrated their 70th wedding anniversary. I can’t wait to reach that point and see what our love can grow into.
I’m sorry it took me so long to pick a winner! Jessica– you won by random drawing. Congrats! I’ll be in touch.
My husband and I nearly divorced just this past summer. We were at the point of needing only to sign the papers. Somehow, making the trip to the lawyer to actually put pen to paper made us take one more look. Since then we’ve changed our way of thinking. There might be deal-breakers in a marriage, but there isn’t an “out”. We married with the intention to stay that way, but something in the back of our minds always told us divorce would be an option. Teaching ourselves that it really isn’t has done so much for us. We tell ourselves that being married isn’t just something you ‘are’, it’s something you ‘do’. We have to take an active part in our marriage and actively ‘be’ married.
angelia´s last [type] ..Giveaway Coming Soon!
I live the idea of this book. My blog is really just stories about our marriage journey. We’ve learned so much from others are from our experiences. The biggest thing I’ve learned: The purpose of marriage Is not to make me happy, rather to glorify God by refining my soul.
Marriage is hard work. If you’re willing to work at it, it can work for you.