In the previous posts, I told you about times when I had a choice. The choice only took a second to make, but it changed the course of the rest of my day—as well as the day of the person I was interacting with. I could have chosen to be negative and angry or I could have chosen to respond with kindness and compassion.
These situations made me realize that my days are filled with these very decisions. I often don’t notice them because I’m on autopilot. I barely pay attention to what I’m saying or doing, especially if it’s a mundane task like buying toilet paper or walking past my husband in the kitchen.
I realized that I could have a serious impact on my life, my marriage and even on the world if I woke up and paid attention to each and every interaction. If, in each instance, I choose positive over negative, kindness over meanness, patience over anger, and the benefit of the doubt over condemnation, I could make a serious impact.
What follows are 27 decisions that only take a second to make, but that could potentially bring much happiness to your life and the lives of the people around you.
- Rather than gun it so you can get to your destination faster, slow down and let a pedestrian get across the road or allow another car to merge.
- Don’t add to the catastrophe. Instead remind a friend that the mistake he or she just made will not bring the world to an end. No human has the power to turn the sun into a Super Nova. This is a good thing.
- When a loved one has a problem, listen instead of lecture.
- When someone is having a stressful day, be an oasis of calm instead of a catalyst for more anger and dissatisfaction.
- When your kid is scared, help him or her face the fear instead of complaining about it.
- If a young mother with a brood of disruptive kids is ahead of you at the grocery store, don’t roll your eyes. Offer to help.
- When someone begs for forgiveness, offer it.
- If your child is envious of the dog, a sibling or even your spouse, don’t lecture. Give your attention instead.
- Thank hairdressers, teachers, service people and others when they do a good job. Don’t assume they know.
- When you are tempted not to tip the usual amount, ask yourself, “Do I really need this $2? Is holding onto it worth hurting this other person’s feelings?”
- When your spouse finally fixes the toilet, thank him. Don’t say, “It’s about freaking time.”
- If your dog won’t stop nosing you, take a break and give him some love. Don’t ignore him.
- Even if it’s been a month since someone’s birthday came and went, still send the card.
- Do things for love and not for the principle.
- Treat every person in your life as if they were royalty.
- When you are wrong, admit it. Don’t try to hide it.
- Disagree with the opinion. Don’t attack the person who has the opinion.
- If a bumper sticker spreads hate and puts people down, don’t put it on your car.
- Give freely. Don’t hoard.
- Don’t react out of anger. Calm down. Then act.
- Realize that there are some moments when you are just not going to be productive no matter how many cups of coffee or Diet Cokes you consume. These moments are opportunities to call your mother, email that long lost friend, or just cuddle with your long-ignored dog.
- Be patient with service people, even if they are not doing their jobs as effectively as you’d like. Be happy that this is not your job.
- Realize that no one else wants to be stuck in that line either.
- When you notice that someone isn’t perfect, be thankful. Now you both have something in common.
- Choose not to stoop to someone else’s level.
- Understand that enduring 15 minutes of someone else’s anger is really a short trial when you compare it to the 24 hours a day that person must live with his or her own angry mind. Have compassion for the suffering that this person must be causing himself on a regular basis.
- Not granting a wish can be just as great a gift as granting it. It takes a pure mind and heart to know the difference.
What advice do you have for choosing positive actions over negative? Do you agree that these quick decisions make a difference? Or do you think that reasoning is short sighted?
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{ 9 comments… read them below or add one }
I’m happy that I can honestly say that I do the majority of the 27. Not 100% of the time, but I’m definitely better than I was just 1 – 2 years ago. Maybe even just a month ago.
I grew up in Los Angeles where the law is “you stop for pedestrians”. Even in states that do not have pedestrian laws, I do my best to give them the right of way. It just makes sense.
This is an awesome series.
Four stars for Treat every person in your life as if they were royalty. That one especially resonated as we just watched Tree of Life and the father certainly did not adhere to #15. Come to think of it, he flunked most of the others, too. I agree with Kathy. Awesome series.
Alexandra´s last [type] ..Where Spanish Fantasies Come True
I made this saying up years ago when someone asked me if I felt like a doormat sometimes. ” When I get to heaven, I would rather have to explain the footprints on my back, then the heels of my shoes being worn out.” No I never feel like a doormat. I do the best I can,(no it is never the best but it is usually enough) and I let the sin be someone else’s; I can only be responsible for how I behave. Also we need to remember we ARE our brothers keeper, as anyone of us goes so do we all. So it behooves us as a society to care about each other and be there for each other. One of the worst saying that ever caught on was “Look out for #1″.
As you can tell Alisa, today’s subject and most of your Karma posts really speak to me on a human level. Maybe I am a closet Buddhist ( And here I thought I’d brought everything out of that darn closet!)
I love it when you do these lists! Thank you!
#3: Listen instead of lecture: very good & very true. I’m getting better at this. I’m lucky to have this from many people in my life.
#4: Oh so true! I try and bring a sense of peace and positivity to all those I interact with.
#7: Forgiveness is the key to true liberation. it’s not as hard as most people think and will free you in so many wonderful ways!
#13: I agree! I often get birthday cards in January because my birthday is so close to Christmas and people often forget. I’d rather get a card in late January than none at all.
#14: Imagine if we did everything out of love, instead of obligation? How awesome would that be?!
#15: I have a few people in my life who do this. It doesn’t matter who you are, these three people treat you like the you’re the only person in the Universe. It’s so darn cool and immensely inspiring! I try and treat everyone as the unique individual they are! Great idea and reminder!
#16, #17 & #18: Incredibly true! Not attacking a person, being slow to anger, thinking before you speak and not spreading hate and negativity–all truthful, wonderful principles for life! Thank you!
#23: Amen! Everyone is in a hurry to get somewhere, we all have somewhere to be. This is especially useful to remember THIS time of year around the holidays!
All of these are fantastic, Alisa! Thanks for the concise reminder!
Many Blessings,
-Sarah Liz
P.S. I also like “No human has the power to turn the sun into Super Nova.” Great way of putting it! We are powerful, but our power comes from Light and Kindness, not from anger and self-hatred. Those only deplete our power.
Many Blessings,
-Sarah Liz
Choose not to stoop to someone else’s level.
Sometimes stooping is a good thing though. Get down to the level of a child. Get on your knees and look them in they eye. Sit on the floor and roll around with your dog…
That’s a good point. Maybe not stooping to their negativity level, but definitely bending down to their physical level.
I love this list. Thanks for reminding us to all slow down. I know that when I do, I have a huge capacity for patience and smelling the roses (and even when they don’t always smell like roses, at least I don’t turn my nose up at them). It’s the little things that can make all the difference in yours – or someone else’s – day.
Sheryl´s last [type] ..Eat, Drink and Be Merry to Boost Your Energy
I find that when my attitude and body language switches from “Notice me!” to “I see you,” I have a whole different experience with the people I meet that day. The view is always better when it’s not looking down on someone else!