What Are You Hoarding?

This is my husband. He's making bacon and eggs on a camping stove on the front porch. We didn't have power for about 24 hours after Hurricane Irene. This photo doesn't have much to do with the topic of this post. But I wanted you all to know that my husband is an awesome guy.

I watched A&E’s Hoarders for the first time not long ago. The show was quite addictive. I ended up watching four episodes in a row. I probably would have watched it all night long had my husband not come home and made fun of me and then changed the channel to Survivorman.

At any rate, it got me thinking. The folks on hoarders seem extreme, but that’s mostly because they hoard material objects—objects that take up space, become an eye sore, and attract rodents. Yet most people—myself included—hoard something. And we hoard for the same reason the people on Hoarders do it: security. Yet, just as hoarding garbage leads to false security, so does hoarding any of the following.

Do you hoard any of the following?

1. Money—Is it easier for you to save money than it is to give it away? Would it ruin your day and stress you out if someone stole the money in your wallet?
2. Prestige—Is it easier for you to climb the corporate ladder than it is for you to rejoice over someone else’s success? If you didn’t get a promotion, how long would that affect you? If you got demoted, would you feel as sad and panicky as the people on Hoarders feel when the big industrial dumpster is carted up to the house?
3. Food—How willing are you to share what’s on your plate?
4. Attention—Do you give it away as easily as you crave it? What would happen if you went on an “attention diet”? Would something like that cause you stress?
5. The conversation—Can you step out of it just as easily as you step into it? If someone else hoards the conversation, do you get irate, feeling that the conversation is really yours to have all to yourself?
6. Comfort—Can you stand to be a little too cold or too hot so someone else can be just right?
7. Praise—Do you give it as much as you ask for and feel you deserve it?
8. The upper hand—Is this a position that you share? Or do you hoard it all to yourself?
9. Recognition—Are you just as comfortable letting someone else shine as you are being the one who shines?
10. Time—Do you respect other’s time just as much as your own? Do you give your time to help others? Or is all of your time just that: your time?
11. Misery—Are other people in your life allowed to be miserable? Or is this your role and no one else’s? Do you collect misery and put it on display with pride?
12. Control—Are you just as comfortable being out of control as you are being in it?
13. Grudges—Do you part with them? Or do you hold onto them for dear life?

You might, at first, think “nope, nope, and nope.” I thought that, too. But when I got honest with myself, I realized that I hoarded more emotional baggage than I realized.

You might also think, “But why drop these bags? Unlike garbage, they don’t take up space and they don’t attract rats.” True, but it’s my belief that they hurt all of us on a much deeper level. Sure, we don’t necessarily need or want to completely part with some of these items. Yet being overly attached to them and looking to them for our happiness just sets us up for trouble. It weighs us down. It leads to an unhappy marriage and shallow relationships with others around us. It also hurts our peace of mind and destroys our happiness.

That’s why I’m working on becoming comfortable without such baggage. How about you?

Related posts:

• How to Be Assertive Without Being Mean