A Sweet Story About My Husband

by Alisa on June 10, 2011

I wasn’t going to write this post. I wasn’t going to write it because it’s about a topic that I’ve found so hard to write about that I’ve avoided writing it all week. In fact, I had to drink a beer in order to bring myself to write this post.

I also wasn’t going to write it because I asked you what you wanted to read on this site, and only a few of you indicated that you wanted to read sweet stories about my husband. I get it. If you are in a bad place, the last thing you want to read is a story about someone in a good place.

But you know what? I’m going to tell the story anyway.

I am because I told this story to a good friend earlier this week and her reaction was, “Aw.” She didn’t say, “Really? With everything going on in my life you have to go and tell me about your husband being sweet.”

No, she rather enjoyed it.

So for those of you who would rather I only write about the times my husband screws up and causes me to plan every detail of his funeral: stop reading.

For everyone else: enjoy, but note that this is a long story with many twists and turns. And before I tell you the story I must let you know one thing about me. It is this: I don’t cry very often. I might have a few stereotypical female traits – such as my shouting “ewww! What’s that?!” whenever I see a bug, worm or small reptile or amphibian – but I am not your usual tear and snot factory. And when I do cry, it’s usually about something touching like my kid’s holiday pageant or the scene in the Justin Bieber movie when he finally gets to Madison Square Garden.

But sad things? I’m basically your regular old rock.

So when, the other day, I happened to drive past an accident right after it all went down, my tears were an aberration. I was not completely sure what had taken place. But I saw people on the ground doing CPR. I saw a baby stroller in the middle of the street. I noticed that none of the cars seemed dented in the least. And everyone standing around looked as if their hearts had fallen out of their bodies. They were ashen.

“Oh my God, I think I am going to cry,” I said, not realizing I was talking out loud. I could feel the surge of emotion rising up from my heart.

“Mommy, what’s wrong?” my kid asked from the back seat.

“Nothing. Don’t look. Nothing. It’s just something really sad. It’s something really, really sad. Oh my God. It’s so sad.”

And the tears came. I pulled into a parking lot. I got out of the car. I wiped the tears from my face. The next thing I knew, my completely dry faced kid was hugging me and saying, “It’s okay, Mommy. Don’t cry. Why are you so sad?”

I didn’t want to upset her, so I stuffed it down as best I could. Eventually I said, “You saw that accident back there? I think a car hit a pedestrian, and I think the pedestrian was either a Mommy or a baby or a very small child.”

Later, I told my husband about it.

“I don’t know why it got to me like that. I saw it and I just thought, ‘That could be me. That could be her. Oh my God that poor person. That poor family.’”

He held me, but this isn’t the sweet part.

The next morning, I asked him. “Is it in the paper?” He told me it wasn’t. “Oh, good, maybe no one was seriously hurt,” I said.

The following day he told me, “I have bad news. It was in the paper today. A mom was walking across the street with her baby and her four year old. She held the 4 year old’s hand all the way across and they got to the other side. But then the 4 year old ran back to get a toy he dropped and was hit by a car. He’s in critical condition.”

“I think I’m going to throw up,” I said.

We did not discuss the matter after that. There was nothing more to say. We just went about our business. But my eyes teared up again, and he saw that and he knows that I don’t often cry at sad things. As I said, I usually only cry at happy things.

The next day he called me at work. He sounded happy.

“I am calling you with great news!”

I was thinking, “What? Do we have more money in our bank account than I realize? What?”

“The little kid who got hit by the car was upgraded to stable!”

“I love you,” I told him.

And just in case it’s not obvious, this is a sweet story because he would not have normally followed the stories about this car accident and about this kid. He hadn’t seen it. He had no reason to stay on top of it. He only made sure to look for the stories because he knew I wouldn’t be able to bring myself to read them, but he also knew that I wanted to know what they said.

That’s love.

A professional journalist, Alisa Bowman is the author of Project: Happily Ever After, a memoir of how she saved her marriage, and coauthor of Pitch Perfect, a must-read if you've ever had a sense of dread tie up your insides before a speech, presentation, or conversation. If you enjoyed this post, you will no doubt love her updates on Facebook and Twitter.

{ 31 comments… read them below or add one }

J (Hot, Holy & Humorous) June 10, 2011 at 9:57 pm

I LOVE this sweet story about your husband. It’s proof that after working hard on your marriage, there are times when it all comes together beautifully and your spouse really does know you better than anyone else . . . and cares. I have those cherished moments as well when my hubby did the PERFECT thing in a difficult circumstance for me, and often they are things that didn’t require a huge amount of effort on his part. It’s just that he noticed and responded lovingly. But it was huge for me.

Thanks for sharing.

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Rachel June 16, 2011 at 7:55 am

That was beautiful. Thank you so much for sharing.

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Dana aka Frugalistic Mama June 10, 2011 at 10:36 pm

That’s AWESOME!! and I am one reader that would LOVE to hear more sweet stories ;-)

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Frugal Kiwi June 10, 2011 at 11:22 pm

That’s a good ‘un. Thanks!

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jinkies June 11, 2011 at 1:26 am

I’m glad you wrote this story and shared it :-) I think that it is showing the growth between you and your husband with your marriage. I know that you marriage is better because you say that it is, but it’s neat reading an example of why it is better. I loved the story (and particularly happy that the boy is doing well) and that your husband was so sweet in keeping you updated.

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Susan June 11, 2011 at 2:28 pm

Alisa, the great thing about this story is that it’s poignant without being sappy. Knowing what we know about your marriage, it’s nice to see how far you’ve come and that it’s possible for your husband to be thoughtful even if doesn’t involve some over-the-top romantic gesture. It gives us hope that relationships can improve (and that children can bounce back from a disaster).

I would have been VERY distraught after witnessing what you did. In fact, I read this on my iPhone in the grocery store line and got a little choked up, because it reminded me of the first time I saw my mother really, really cry her eyes out. I was 9 or 10 and one of her friends fell asleep behind the wheel, causing an accident that killed the friends’ 10-year-old daughter. I didn’t know the daughter and I didn’t fully understand what had happened at the time but I know it must have really shaken up my mother and the family that lost a child. Glad this story had a happier ending. :)

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Carol June 11, 2011 at 5:10 pm

Nothing wrong with a sweet-husband story now and then. It just reinforces how far you both have come and how effective showing our spouses that we really know them is better than some going-through-the-motions greeting card or such.

And I’m glad that this story within a story also looks to be headed toward a happy ending!

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Sarah Liz June 11, 2011 at 6:34 pm

Aww that is love! Total love! And that’s what it’s all about–doing little things that can add up to mean so much! Thanks for sharing this sweet story. I’m glad the kid is okay, that’s a relief, what about the mom?

Many Blessings,
-Sarah Liz :)

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Joanne June 11, 2011 at 8:01 pm

Alisa;

You’re right, that is love, when you see the need in the person you love and strive to meet it, even when they don’t know they need it.

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Zoe June 11, 2011 at 8:09 pm

Yes, That is awesome love. Good for you guys! :)

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Zoe June 11, 2011 at 8:11 pm

Ha! Sorry to post again, but I had to laugh when I saw the link with the title to my last post show up with my comment! Purely coincidental I promise. I do like to hear your happy stories too :)

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Alisa June 12, 2011 at 7:45 am

Zoe– that’s too funny. I think PDAs do the same for me, too!

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Patty Newbold June 11, 2011 at 8:26 pm

That is love! Thank you for sharing it with us, Alisa. I love stories like this.

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Jules June 11, 2011 at 9:43 pm

LOVE IT!! Thank you for sharing your sweet story, I really appreciate it :-)

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OneHotTamale25 June 11, 2011 at 11:42 pm

This was a great read. I’m glad you downed the beer so you could present it. :P It’s just as important to tout your husband’s as it is to share how to deal with wanting to rip him a new one in a way that doesn’t lead actually ripping him a new one.

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Jane Boursaw June 12, 2011 at 12:02 am

That really IS a sweet story, Alisa. Love reveals itself in mysterious and unexpected ways.

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Pam June 12, 2011 at 11:28 am

I love it. That is sweet. I will echo your friend’s “Awww”.

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Rollercoasterider June 12, 2011 at 12:26 pm

Um, I know this is a sweet husband story. But I still want updates on the little boy. Stable is great. But I’m still crying–and I’m not a big cryer either. Oh I hope he’s going to be okay. I know–the paper said stable. But somehow since I’m not there I still feel like I don’t know and I’m thus a bit off-center by it. I will include him and his family in my prayers.
Thank you Alissa

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Andi June 12, 2011 at 1:23 pm

I am a stone too, but that story made chills go through my body and I teared up a but. Thank you for sharing!

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Angela Jennings June 12, 2011 at 4:48 pm

So glad to hear that the child is okay!! And that was so sweet that your husband kept you informed! I am one big tear and snot factory, so I’m sure I would’ve been bawling (I tear up at commercials). I’m glad he did that for you…really speaks about how far y’all come. :)

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Maureen June 12, 2011 at 6:32 pm

I can’t remember how I voted on that now but I would NEVER say no to a sweet story. My hubby does stuff like that all the time. It always catches me off guard. He would’ve done the same thing.

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Helen June 13, 2011 at 7:42 am

aawww, sweet!

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Drummer Guy June 13, 2011 at 9:06 am

So very sweet & so good to hear the child is better. I am a bit emotional with such things myself & I am a guy. I still can’t watch the movie “The Blind Side” without getting teary eyed. Your emotion shows that you are a caring person & that is a good thing. I also loved how your husband showed his love for you.

Great Post Alisa
Ron :-)

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Lisa June 14, 2011 at 4:59 am

That is a really sweet story and it is refreshing to hear. I am always extremely sensitive so I can cry at the drop of a dime. LOL! So I suppose my hubby wouldnt be so sensitive to my needs. He would just think I am crazy.

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Kathy June 16, 2011 at 7:29 am

I loved this. Thank you for a wonderful way to start my morning. Your husband is aces and I’m happy the child is better. (p.s. I’m not a crier either for sad things most of the time. But I blubber like an idiot when I watch certain movies with uplifting endings.)

Have a great day!

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Carrie June 17, 2011 at 10:22 am

This is a wonderful story. I was one of those who replied they didn’t care for the sweet stories but that’s because I find them cheesey many times and maybe I’m a bit jealous that my husband wouldn’t have done/said the same things in the story being told. This story however, shows us that sometimes the sweetest things are really the smaller thoughtful things that might not normally stand out to you or others. It may not have taken a lot of effort from your husband but it showed that he understood how you were feeling and was happy to be able to make you feel better. Sweet stories don’t need to be of grand gestures. Sometimes its the smaller gestures that mean the most!

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Alex Blackwell | The BridgeMaker June 20, 2011 at 7:38 pm

Thanks for sharing this story Alisa and for the wonderful love story you and your husband are creating. We are lucky to be a part of it, too.

Alex

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Nancy June 23, 2011 at 10:38 am

You are so lucky to have such a husband, especially since you actually know how lucky you are.

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jaschell June 29, 2011 at 3:12 pm

I agree with Carrie! I dont think everybody would look at this as their husband being sweet, because they may be so caught up with everything else that may be going through their mind, and just shrug it off.. I love that you told us about this because i think it will help us notice the smaller things that REALLY do matter. thanks =)

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Tim_UK July 29, 2011 at 3:35 am

I’m glad you shared this. Speaking as a man I know we learn more about hearing what other guys get right than we do about what they get wrong. Focusing on what’s wrong is like telling someone to get off a boat because its sinking without giving them another boat to get onto. They just sort of drown.
Tim

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Criselda San Andres February 25, 2012 at 4:33 am

Thanks for sharing. Your husband’s heart is so big that what he did to you and you sharing it with us simply touched our lives. Hooray for your happiness!

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