AKA
Nandoism’s Nether Grooming Guide
This guy needs to read this post. Photo by SFBart.
After writing and posting Alisa’s Nether Grooming Guide, I got a request to run a companion piece for men. This, my friends, was not something I could pull off on my own. Had I tried to write it myself, such a post would have been filled with conjecture and myth.
Don’t get me wrong. I’ve helped my husband with some of his manscaping needs over the years. I’m tweezed stray hairs from various places that he probably would not want me telling you about. That, folks, is one of the benefits of marriage. Your partner is there on call with the tweezers and electric razor. More important, what happens in the bathroom between two married adults stays in the bathroom.
Because my husband is an avid cyclist, he also shaves his legs. This is something that my girlfriends and family members thought was quite odd when he and I first met. But, during our early dating years, I enjoyed sharing leg-shaving tips with him, and I was flattered by his awe in my ability to shave my legs while standing. He could only shave his while sitting.
But he’s pretty much on his own with the nether parts, which is why I couldn’t begin to offer grooming advice for that part of the male anatomy.
Thankfully, I happen to know another blogger who is my male equivalent. By that, I mean that he is open, honest and not embarrassed to write about anything—including his pubes. Other than that, we’re complete opposites. I like beer. He likes umbrella drinks. I like to wear my hair long and straight. He wears his short and wild.
I’m attracted to men. He’s attracted to men. Whoops. That’s something we have in common.
Anyway, his name is Nando. He writes a blog about gay life and culture, he’s into all things hip and fashionable, and he’s gracefully agreed to share all he knows about nether grooming and manscaping.
Body Hair According to Nando
Men and their hair is such a sensitive issue. We get it, then it falls out and grows in places we had no idea it could. It’s a self-esteem crusher when you see your first ear hair sprouting or when your pubes go white.
So whether you need a trim or a full cut, razors, scissors, or depilatories can be a man’s best friend. And I’m here to walk you though the process. Are you ready?
Back Hair
When I was 19 years old, I was sleeping next to Luther, my boy crush. While he was spooning me, he jerked back. I was confused. “What’s wrong?” I inquired. “It just felt like I was laying next to carpet.” That’s the day I became a permanent Nair for Men customer. I don’t recommend waxing or shaving your back hair. Just have someone smear the stuff on your back (I have my roommates do it—the job is in their renters clause) and in 20 minutes or fewer (depending on how coarse your hair is) your back is smooth and ready to see the light of day. It’s the best $5 you’ll ever spend.
Ralph and the Boys
There are three types of people when it comes to genitals.
1. The Jungle Crowd: These folks love the natural look and have no problem with your Jungle Book bush look. In fact, they love playing “where’s the treasure” and you’re the one who reaps the benefits when they do!
2. The Prim and Proper Bunch: This crew will not set foot anywhere near your naughty parts unless everything is trimmed and nicely kept. Usually, a weekly trim with a small pair of scissors will do the job just fine. Don’t get too crazy with the shape. I once dated a guy who was obsessed in trimming and shaping his junk to look like a perfect triangle. It wasn’t fun and it looked weird.
3. The Mr. Clean Crew: These folks want it all gone. Nothing there but flesh and bumps. Personally I’ve done this once and the only benefit was that it made my junk look SUPER HUGE, but it was murder to grow back in.
Whatever you decide, don’t Nair your genitals. Trust me on this one. Use scissors to trim, then a razor to go all the way if that’s the look you’re going for. Either way, do it after a hot shower. It will makes the transition smoother — just be prepared for the new growth to itch like crazy.
Chest
Nicely trimmed chest hair is sexy. Chest hair that’s sprouting out of your shirt like a Chia Pet gone awry is not sexy. Take a small pair of scissors and start whacking away. It’s manly and so sexy to see sexy chest hair on a man. But if you do decide to remove it all–use Nair. There’s less chance of nicks and cuts. Because the chest is more sensitive than your back, do a test sample first to see how long to leave it on.
Eyebrows
There should be two. Enough said. With this delicate task, you need to trust the person doing this or else you might end up looking like a stand-in for Joan Crawford in Mommy Dearest. The latest trend in New York is men sculpting their brows. That’s a big mistake. Eyebrows on a man should look thick and confident, not sculpted and Mariah Carey-ish.
Go to a professional to trim them–but not sculpt them, don’t allow them to talk you into shaping those bad boys or you”ll be sorry!
Ear Hair
Nasty. Nair it, buzz it with a razor, pluck ‘em with tweezers–just get rid of it. That’s the man’s curse and it has to be done routinely, unless you want that corn on the cob look with the stray cornhusk whiskers sprouting out of your head. Not sexy.
Legs & Arms
Leave those alone, unless your friends call you Magilla Gorilla. In that case, I’d seek professional help like a Men’s Spa or Salon.
Copyright 2010 Project Happily Ever After
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{ 27 comments… read them below or add one }
I was expecting a different kind of post, i.e. more direction on male nether grooming so i could share the email with hubby. the best way to shave around the balls, shaft, etc. use a razor, trimmer, etc.
besides that, this post was pretty entertaining and i can see where you are the male version of Alissa
Bahahahahaha! Thank you for sharing Nando with us!!! Great post!
I think I had better wait on this till I have a really secure marriage ( Meaning much more marriage counseling. Right now if I even approached Ray’s junk with a pair of scissors he would run.
You should add nose hair. My other half is AWFUL about getting rid of his nose hair and … well … it’s just gross. I don’t want to see hairs poking out of your nose when I’m cuddled against your chest and happen to glance up.
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Interesting. Electric razors/trimmers are used here to keep arm/leg/nether region hair down. Not bare, but not bushy either.
If back hair ever develops, I’ll buy stock in Nair.
LOL Joanne!!
I’m quite thankful my man is not very hairy from the waist up, so no back hair, yet… He does have the hairiest feet I’ve ever seen though!
Great post!
Joanne that made ME RUN…lol J/K Oh & Sabrina a beard trimmer works great. Just don’t forget to raise the little thingy that puts something between the blade & bare skin. I did learn that one a few years back….OUCH!!!
Lastly more hair on the male body as we age is one of God’s ironic sense of humor things. As we age it falls off our head & sticks wherever it may land. The eyebrows, ears, back…well you get the picture
Ron
Opps forgot the check box again. Man the whole siccors in that area thing had me shakin
yea Ron, something to look forward to in the future (NOT!!!!)
Mike is rather hairless, but he can always use help on the nether region, but he doesnt trust me to help, so…..
Nando, this is great. You crack me up. Thank you on the no sculpting of men’s eyebrows. Wrong, wrong and even more wrong. I hate seeing a man with sculpted brows or only one brow.
The picture used for this blog almost made me puke. Gross, gross and even more gross.
I do my hubby’s trimming. We use the same tools – scissors and comb or bread trimmer – but when he does it the hairs have “sharp” ends and hurt. When I do it, they are softer.
And what’s up with the pubes turning gray. I don’t think my hair dresser will dye me there, nor do I want her there. As my prior hair dresser said when I asked if she did waxing – I love my customers, but NOT that much. I love my current hair dresser, but NOT that much.
I also use the beard trimmer on hubby’s chest hairs – I don’t want him bare, but he also doesn’t need 1 inch or longer hairs on his chest.
Kathy; I know you meant beard trimmer but I got a vision of a bread knife from your post- ha ha!
I feel like manscaping is becoming much more popular these days. I used to think that women were the ones that had to be prim and proper everywhere. I’m married, but I’ve also never been fussy about that stuff. I guess if you have a lot of hair all over, it’s a different story. Interesting read, though.
Yes, Joanne, I meant BEARD. Spell check only works if you misspell a word, not if you USE the wrong word.
Thanks Alisa, I’m passing this onto the hubs
Ok, so what would all the ladies on here actually PREFER their men to look like? Several have said they trim their guys, so I guess they like the Prim & Proper look. Anyone prefer Jungle or Mr. Clean?
In fairness to those answering my question, I’ll reveal that:
a) On a lady, I’d vote Miss Clean. Take ‘em all off. As well as looking better, it makes going down a much better experience (for me at least, for the other participant I believe it’s also nicer!).
b) Currently I go for the Prim & Proper look for hair directly above the equipment. The equipment itself I like to keep hair-free, but it grows more sparsely there so occasional plucking keeps it in check. The idea of being hair-free seems a bit wierd to me.
A quick survey based on they guys I shower with at my sports club would suggest that most make no attempt whatsoever to control their pubes. Maybe that’s a cultural thing, is it more common amongst American men than Brits?
Sabrina–I’ll bug Nando and ask him to come over here and offer some more tips based on your comment.
Richard–I just like his area trimmed so that the hairs are not close to the junk. In other words, I don’t like getting hair in my mouth. I’m not particular regarding what it looks like. It’s just so smooth and silky with little hair. Full bare could be really nice–but again, from an oral perspective.
Richard, love the questions.
I’ve been shaving my bikini line since high school. I didn’t get into the rest of it until the last 5 – 6 years.
My current hubby (married nearly 5 years) is the first guy I’ve been with to keep the area trimmed.
I guess I really never paid all that much attention before. But now that I’ve tried trimmed, I much prefer it. And trim = about 1 inch long or less on a guy.
Trim on me = 1/4 to 1/2 inch long.
Richard- good questions, I can tell you that it makes me much for sensitive to be bare and yes my husband also thinks its good not to get any hair in his mouth. That being said I am with Alisa, not bare for him but trimmed although my husband isn’t particularly bushy and is pretty fastidious because he wants me to enjoy him too.
This is hilarious! I love it. I dated a guy who shaved his legs and thought it was very nice. I usually don’t shave my legs and people think that’s really weird. But the first piece of writing I ever published was a feminist essay called “Musings on Hairy Legs.”
There’s a downside to trimming the nether regions on a man though — more applicable to non-white readers, I suspect! It can get prickly down there and actually hurt your partner. So, predictably, I’m in the jungle crowd…
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Great post Nando! and thanks Alisa for hosting him! I can relate to the hairy back (hubby is blessed with lots of it)LOL.
Elisa_Croatia´s last [type] ..Is it always sunny in Croatia
I found that after shaving “down there” a few times, the regrowth got much less irritating. That said, a good ingrown hair treatment is more or less essential, at least for the first couple months. Sephora sells one “made for men” that seems to be pretty decent. While shopping there also check out the SenseEpil semi permanent hair removal system. It’s not cheap but if you have the right hair color and skin combo, its awesome!
Love the term: manscaping & the photo & the ballsiness with which you tackle subjects some of us would be too self-conscious to cover.
sarah henry´s last [type] ..Hospital Food Gets a Makeover
VERY HELPFUL. Though you missed shoulder hair, of which I have a good amount. HELP!!
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OK… here is my point of view. I am taking this from a male’s perspective and how I shave and why I started.
When I was 17, I had a freak accident where a window in a bathroom broke from a baseball. As I was walking by, after just getting out of the shower, the glass broke and a shard of glass sliced open my pubic region. Long story short, I was told by a nurse that I would have to shave, or I would have to peel the scab off everyday to avoid getting infection in the cut. So, that’s what I did. Everything ended up great and I can no longer see the scar.
I loved the feel and look of it so much that I kept shaving even after I was healed up. What I used to to in the beginning was use a pair of scissors and then shave the pubic area. Eventually as my skin got used to it, I would just shave using a razor in the bathtub.
I am not a very hairy man. I have blonde hair over most of my body, and do not have a hairy chest or back. So, the only parts I ever worried about (in the beginning anyway) was my pubic region. So, let’s get to it, shall we…
I tend to be very descriptive, so please be aware, I am not trying to offend anyone. For me, it was easier to shave if I had a hard-on. The skin was tighter and it was just easier to work with rather than just a big floppy appendage. One tip I have found extremely helpful over the years is to use apricot scrub before you shave. It exfoliates the skin to get rid of all the dead skin cells and makes it easier for the blade to work.
After exfoliating, I would start on the top of my pubic area and I would ALWAYS shave against the grain. It is a waaay smoother shave. Once that is complete, we move on to the important part. I am right handed, so I always held my cock in my left hand and would use the razor on the shaft at the base and work my way around that. That skin is not as sensitive, so I would go over it as much as I needed to get a good smooth shave. Once I get done with that, I would push my cock so it sits flat on my belly button and then start shaving my balls. This is the tough area because of all the wrinkles and crevices. It is helpful if you can pull with one hand and make it taught and then start shaving. I then move on to the ‘taint area and around my butthole. This I always do by feel.
After several years of shaving twice a week or so, I finally looked into laser for me and my wife. It was expensive, but it is soo worth it. I have been done with laser now for about 3 years and I only have to shave maybe once a month now. The reason being is everyone has white/blonde hairs in their body and the laser is ineffective against those. I have tried waxing, tweezing, and finally went back to just shaving in the shower when I do. Takes me about 15 seconds to shave now.
I also shave my armpits. I have been doing this for about 3 years now, and I love it. I hardly sweat there anymore and I feel so much fresher. I have to admit, I was actually more embarrassed about shaving my pits more so than shaving my pubic hair. I will never go back to letting it grow out again tho.
That really is the only parts of my body that I have to shave. I don’t have a hairy chest or back, so no worries there.
I have to say, my main goal in life is to get all women to realize the beauty of a shaved pussy. My wife has been bald now for 13 out of 15 years of marriage and it is the best thing in the worlds. Oral is amazing hairless, and so is just the sex act alone. Men, embrace the fact that you can still be masculine by being hairless too. If anyone would like any clarification, or extra tips, feel free to post a reply here and I would be happy to take it one off, or post it publicly. Whichever you prefer.
Happy shaving all!
Thanks for all the fabulous comments and thanks Alisa for the chance to spread some nandoism around!
My tips are simple–depending if you are wanting the bare experience–(This is for Sabrina and her man) always do manscaping after a hot shower–it makes the follicles open up. If it’s busy–trim with scissors to get it tamed–then proceed with razor if you want that “I’m a 12-year-old boy and I haven’t hit puberty” look. Other wise, scissors should do it. A razor will be gentle (make sure it’s a new one with a new blade) and just have at it–I’ve seen dirty men do this in the sauna at the gym and although it looks sleazy–it leaves a clean palate to play with!
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It was years ago when I discovered that women were shaving “theirs” and it caught my intrest. I thought it was sexy and I wanted my wife to shave. When I mentioned it I got a sharp “he!! no, I’m not doing that.” After reading more about it alot of women were saying that they would do it only if their man did. So I decided that if I did it maybe she would. I then shaved little by little until I was all shaved down there. I also shave my stomach and trim other body hair. It all started with a razor and I just took my time. I never had a problem. It got to be a little time consuming so I wanted permenate removal. I couldn’t afford it so I did what I thought was the next best thing. I used tweezers and pulled it out. It was a little painful in the begining but as time went on it wasn’t a problem. It comes out so much easier and I don’t have to mess with it as often. Oh, and now my wife shaves also!
OMG! That man’s back is all covered in hair! Its so disgusting! And what’s even more worse, he’s walking around with out his shirt on. If I was there, I would strap a duck tape on his back and rip it off.
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