One of my good friends emailed this to me recently:
“You seem to get more done than is a) humanely possible b) what anyone else is capable of getting done.”
I’m glad that I’m able to perpetuate this illusion but, in reality, I don’t think I get any more done than she or anyone else does. In fact, I’m often awed by all my friend gets done. She has all of the job responsibilities that I do, plus she has three more kids than I do.
How much we do or don’t do in a given day is really a matter of perception. We all have the same number of hours to work with. So the real question is this: Are you happy with how you spend your hours?
My days feel busy to me, and I do get a lot done during my waking moments. And right now I have a lot to show for it all. I wrote a book that will come out this December. I’m in the midst of the media campaign that will hopefully trigger every single unhappily married person in America (and even a few folks who aren’t married) to buy and read it. I’m writing another book. I have other paying work, too.
And I’ve been able to do all of this without working totally insane hours. (Full disclosure: I am working 6 days a week until book release.) My kid still calls me Mommy, and not “that woman over there at the computer.” And I do happen to remember the last time I had sex with my husband. It was a wonderful experience that I hope to repeat at some point in the next few hours.
And I even read a novel last month. (It was Olive Kitteridge. I highly recommend it). And I exercise somewhat regularly, although not as often as I’d like. I also meditate.
But there’s a lot that isn’t getting done.
Like cooking. I ate oatmeal and cheese slices for dinner tonight.
And cleaning. If mold isn’t growing on it, I’m not concerned.
And check book reconciling. Does anyone do this? Really? I want to know.
And I don’t see my friends as often as I once did. And I don’t attend book club regularly. And I don’t return all of the phone calls that come in. The same is true for email. I don’t watch a heck of a lot of TV. I don’t keep up with current events.
I rarely know what’s going on in the world.
I don’t play mafia wars and other games on Facebook, and when people invite me to play such games, I ignore them.
My dog usually stinks. And his nails need a trim.
Seriously, I manage to juggle so much because most of the balls I used to juggle are really sitting on a shelf—and they are getting dusty.
I can’t keep all of the balls in the air.
I once tried to do just that. I managed to juggle all of the balls by keeping one important ball on the shelf. It was sleep.
Let me tell you folks: you can only not sleep for so long. Eventually this strategy will turn you into a Mean Mommy and Even Meaner Wife Who Can’t For the Life Of Her Remember Where Her Purse Is.
Are you the woman I just described (or the man)? If you are, think about putting down one of the other balls, and pick up the sleep ball instead.
Copyright 2010 Project Happily Ever After
No related posts.
Related posts brought to you by Yet Another Related Posts Plugin.
Sarah Liz (6)
Kerry (3)
Alexandra (2)
Ayelet (2)
Kathy (2)
Mandy (2)
TAY (2)
50 Proposals (1)
Amanda (1)
amy (1)
{ 8 comments… read them below or add one }
Love this! When I see/hear about people who seem to be doing one thing after another after another, I get tired just thinking about it. I like to call myself a “pro” at being “lazy,” when in all actuality, I just don’t over do it all that often, if ever.
For the record, I don’t reconcile my checkbook that I know of… unless going online and making sure what I have in my ledger matches what the bank says I have is reconciling.
Sleep problems really are epidemic, and as you suggest the fallout from inadequate sleep takes a huge toll on relationships. As I get older, I’ve made rest and sleep a higher priority by necessity and it’s made a huge difference to my overall sense of well being…and I don’t get as much done as I used to, but I appreciate better what I get done. Still, it’s hard not to look at others accomplishments and wonder what we do with our time–hard to remember the last time I washed a floor, so I always notice and admire clean floors.
I’m an accountant by trade and I reconcile my checkbook. Most accountants DON’T. But I actually do. And I’ve been known to have up to four or five accounts at a time. (That part was crazy.)
I’m finally sleeping 7 – 8 hours a night consistently (for like 2 – 3 weeks now) and I can tell you – sleep deprivation will make you an insane homicidal maniac. (I lived it for roughly 4 years.) I can’t tell you how many times I couldn’t go to the grocery store because I hadn’t gotten enough sleep. (I refuse to drive a vehicle on less than 5 hours of sleep. Call me crazy, but I don’t think it’s right to subject other drivers to my inability to control a very large and heavy piece of equipment.)
And I call myself “lazy” – yet I’m really not. I’m efficient with my movements/actions. I’d rather carry in five bags of groceries than make 2 – 3 trips back to the car. I’ll carry the cat box and the scratching post to the master bedroom at one time (saves on steps – which I probably shouldn’t do since I’m trying to lose weight – but old habits die hard). And if I can drive in a big circle on the map to run all my errands, I’d rather do that than go out and do some and then go back out and do the rest. And if my errands are in two different directions, then I do them on different days.
Also, delegating chores is a great way not to have too many balls in the air at one time. Alisa, in a few more years, your daughter can help around the house, so you can “juggle” more balls again merely by having her juggle a few for you.
It’s all in time management, in my opinion. I’ve had friends in the past that had their telephone time scheduled. Ugh!!! There’s just so much about life that you can’t schedule, so you have to be flexible and get done what you can in the time that you give yourself. And never, ever, beat yourself up for not doing it “all”. NO ONE can do it all.
Alisa;
I really loved this one. It strikes close to home for me. I have a very busy life but at this point, it is only busy with the things I choose to take on, not all the things people feel I should be doing. I am operating somewhat on the philosophy that a happy me means I am a happier wife, mother and friend. Thankfully even at 52 years of age I need very little sleep to be optimum as a matter of fact if I have more than 6 hours I find it very hard to be energized.
I put alot of balls on the shelf when I was done raising my children. It is almost like I have the perfect circumstance now. I am an adult, I am healthy and active, I have had the joy of raising my children to adulthood, aside from night sweats menopause isn’t kicking my ass, I have a husband who does all the cooking and cleaning and I have a great selection of friends.
The last thing I need to have to achieve nirvana ( at least as close as we can get in this life) I suppose is a better relationship with my husband. If we can work through our problems it will help with the depression and I can’t imagine how it would get better.
I am an accountant too and no I don’t feel it is necessary to do bank recs on personal accounts with the internet and on line banking so handy.
A clean house is the sign of a misplaced life!
~love this post!
Cheers
Hey ladies…I’m an accountant too. Apparently this site attracts us!!
For the most part, I don’t juggle too many balls at one time. I like being busy, but I don’t like to overcommit myself. It is really important for me to enjoy life, to do things I love doing. So if I am super busy, but everything I’m doing is something I really want to do, then I’m happy. This last weekend, I was able to have a girls night on Friday to see one of our favorite local bands, then spent some time out by the pool Saturday with a friend, visited another friend who is home with a new baby, went out with friends/family to watch a sporting event, and Sunday went with my husband to his first ever mountain bike race. It was a full weekend, and I didn’t do any housework/chores, but I had a blast. And I’m still on a high from it all. That, for me is juggling the right balls
Melissa- Was that “juggling the right balls” a tongue in cheek reference? SNICKER—
Seriously, if I have a day off and wnt to sit at the beach i do, or go to see a play in NYC I do or take off for a weekend I do. I watched my parents do all the responsible stuff and dad died to early and mom has stage 4 liver disease.
I like the analogy that I read one time that I will enter heaven with a running start, sliding on my ass, with a glass of wine in one hand and a chocolate bar in the other saying “woohoooo what a ride”,
I want to be a worn out old woman when I go. My mom used to say on the big garbage day in our neighborhood that nobody stopped to look at our stuff because by the time we put it out to the curb there really was no earthly use left for it. I will be the garbage on the curb at the end of my life.
Good philosophy Joanne – no point saying ‘what if’ at the end of our time in the mortal world. That said, finding ways to de-stress means we should spend more time on this earth and enjoy it more!