- People lie because they falsely believe that it’s easier and safer than telling the truth.
- Sometimes, the idea that I don’t like something is all in my head. For instance, for years, I was convinced that I didn’t care for oranges. I ate one the other day and thought, “Hey, these things are pretty good.” I keep trying to teach this to my daughter but, to date, she does not believe me.
- I am capable of seeing my husband as the world’s best person as well as the world’s worst. In reality, he doesn’t change all that much from day to day, but my mind changes quite a bit.
- The hardest, most excruciating and tiring experiences of life often double as the most rewarding, satisfying, and meaningful.
- Most of the things that I worry about just aren’t all that important. When I ask myself, “If I was dying right now, would I care about this?” usually the answer is, “No.”
- I can wear skinny jeans and not feel like a stuffed sausage. I can also wear them without looking like a 40 year old who is wishing she were still 20. It took a young 20 something store clerk to convince me of this fact. She also taught me that jeans look much sexier with heels than with flats. I also learned that one can now wear white after Labor Day.
- Most New Yorkers have no idea how to get anywhere in New York. I’ve asked many of them for directions at one time or another, and none of them seem to know where anything is.
- If you are traveling abroad and your hotel room has a free bowl of bright, red, juicy strawberries, don’t eat them. You’ve been warned.
- Nearly every food that seems unusual and scary tastes just like chicken.
- Mark Twain said, “You are as happy as you make your mind up to be.” I believe you are as old as you make your mind up to be. When I was a little kid, I thought that 40 was old. When I was in my 20s, I thought that 60 was old. Now that I’m almost 40, I think that people don’t get old until they think they are old.
Note: I’ll be taking a few days off from blogging to celebrate my birthday, my daughter’s birthday, and life in general.
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{ 22 comments… read them below or add one }
This is by far my favorite 10. Enjoy your birthday and all the birthday festivities.
Love number 10. I remember when I was in high school & the girl I was dating mother had her 40th birthday. I remember thinking man that IS old. Now at 48….not so much….lol
Number 7 is different here. They know where it is but their directions are IMPOSSIBLE to follow. You know “well you go down to that big stump & turn left”
Really enjoyed your list Alisa. I even adopted a few.
You still ROCK
Ron
Love this complete list Alisa! Enjoy your birthday & your daughter’s birthday!!
I also love number 10…It wasn’t that long ago when 30 seemed sooooo far away. Fast forward, and now it is less than a year away, and it’s not nearly as scary as I thought it would be. I also recently thought 60 seemed old, and then I had the realization that my dad will be 60 in only 5 years, and all of a sudden 60 didn’t seem that old anymore!
Alisa, next time you’re lost in NYC and need directions you’ll have to give me a call.
The problem, I think, is that most New Yorkers think of directions differently than most non-New Yorkers. We operate on a grid. If someone asks, “Where’s Restaurant X?” We have no idea. There are a lot of restaurants in NYC. If someone asks “Where is Grand Central?” We may still have no idea, because relative to where we are, we just don’t know. BUT if you ask where is 5th ave. & 42nd st. We can generally tell you how to get there.
We think of places in terms of their grid coordinates. Without those X & Y axis labels though, we’re just as lost as you are.
Melissa´s last [type] ..Lessons From My First Year Freelancing Full-Time
Wow, I saw number 1 and it really spoke to me and what I am going through right now. My husband believes it is better to lie – and be super sneaky – about his beer intake because: a. I am co-dependant and was trying to control him, and b. he thinks it’s easier to hide it than to admit he has a problem, or fight with me.
I am making huge strides to improve myself and where my life is going. I am working to be much, MUCH less co-dependant.
Misty´s last [type] ..Day 1 – About me & this blog
Melissa– I usually have trouble downtown, where the numbered streets turn to named streets. And that seems to be where NYorkers have issues too. Last time I was in, I asked a bunch of people how to get to two cross streets. They all told me that it was miles away and that I should take a train. It ended up that it was just two blocks away. It was kind of comical because, based on what everyone said, I didn’t think I could get there fast enough on foot. So I took a cab. It went around the block and stopped. Shortest cab ride I’ve ever taken.
Truth be told, I can’t give good direx in my tiny little small town, either. It’s weird to know one’s way around a place but to not be able to navigate someone else.
#2 – yep, guilty!
#3 – does this just happen day to day? Can it sometimes happen hour to hour?
#5 – I need to join this club too!
#6 – which store was this because I’m convinced I can’t pull off skinny jeans.
#9 – mostly because those foods are often deep fried when I try them.
#10 – I am where Melissa (the first on in this series of comments) is… under a year from turning 30. What boggles my mind is when I think that I just had my 10 year high school reunion last summer… and I remember my sister going to hers after having her 2nd child. I am now that age. THAT’S weird to me.
Have a great birthday… both you and your daughter. Celebrate for all of us too!
Have a great birthday!
Number 9 is right. Except for octopus. It doesn’t taste like chicken.
Oh, and I want to know where you found skinny jeans that work. Remember trying them on in that hip store in NYC? Totally didn’t work for me there. I need a good sales person!
Edgy Mama´s last [type] ..Packing and unpacking…but glad to be here
Love #3.
#4 – child birth and child rearing come to mind.
Must write #5 on a post-it backwards and staple to forehead so I can read it in the mirror.
Would love to read the story behind #8
My problem with directions is not knowing street names. I know how to drive to so many places, in so many towns, but at this point I can barely remember a street name. But put me in the driver’s seat and I’ll have you there as fast as traffic allows.
Alisa, you and your daughter have awesome birthdays. If I could get some red velvet cake to you I would (my new favorite since it’s like an orgasm for my mouth). Personally, I don’t remember turning 40 being that bad. And at this point, I’m anxiously awaiting 50 – just two more years.
I always wear flats with my jeans, I need to get into the habit of finding heels I can wear that my feet won’t freeze in! I have tried to ask NY’ers for directions as well only to get more lost! Congrats on your grand finale!
Andi´s last [type] ..Warm Up Exercises
#4 hit home with me, I like all of them, but #4 is so very true.
I’ve really enjoyed this whole list, Alisa, thank you for sharing your experiences and wisdom.
To be totally honest with everyone, my husband is not doing well. He’s home, and returns to work today, but is in a total funk and barely functioning. His recovery isn’t going as well as planned (he had some seizrues, orginally). It’s very frustrating to try and help someone who only occasionally will help themselves. I’m still not used to being the “healthy” one, but alas I am….
not only him, but my mother. Last Friday, she got dehydrated at work, got dizzy and literally crashed her face into a cement wall…9 stitches later, she’s better now, but man that was scary…..also, my car broke down and it had to be fixed, thank God it could–Lord I need that car! LOL! Seriously. AND, on top of all that, I had to put my cat down…Nellie, I had had her for 16 years, since I was 10. And it’s just heartbreaking. She was going into kidney failure and was suffering, I even got sympathy pains for a while, I feel peaceful about my decison to put her down because she’s no longer suffering and she went fast and quick–painless. But, I miss my baby, my little companion, my best friend, you know. The loss of a pet is horrible.
So, pretty much…between my husband being sick and in the hospital, not recovering as well as expected, my mom breaking her face and having to put Nellie down…..wow, I’m at my limit.
I don’t know why I’m sharing this here, I guess I feel comfortable. I know everyone has problems of their own and mine are no bigger and no more important than anyone else’s. I’m still a very, very blessed woman….but I’ve learned recently that it takes courage to admit your limit, and I guess I’m just feeling kind of down. I’m not hopeless, and certainly not helpless, thank God, but you know?
I am doing little nice things for myself everyday. Today, it’s reading in my apartment complex’s library and walking on the treadmill! Yesterday, it was watching “The Golden Girls,” and laughing my butt off! It was also taking pleasure in the green trees, blue sky and puffy clouds on the way to work. Tuesday, it was taking a walk in the park (I work at one!) and noticing the small breeze and gorgeous tall trees surrounding me! (I love trees!). A few weeks ago, I bought myself a few little candles and a beautiful purple nail polish that I’ve gotten tons of compliments on….and BEST of all, I have a fabulous network of people (friends, a therapist, even my mom as a friend) who have been there for me and shown me such grace and patience and the art of listening!
So, I really don’t have it that bad, I just have had A LOT lately. A lot of heavy stuff and I feel myself having to fight to stay “up,” and hopeful. Which I am, thank God, but you know….eat right, get enough rest, take quiet time each day, excerise, do something nice each day. I’m getting there and staying afloat, but I just wanted to admit that as positive as I am, sometimes, I get down too.
I guess I’m just asking for some prayers and good vibes here, I know we’re all a little community and I really enjoy being there for everyone. It gives me comfort to know that I’m not the only one going through tough times, I honestly believe just about EVERYONE is, and yes, there IS a lesson through all of this.
I think all of this happened to me lately so that I could learn not only MORE strength, but COURAGE and INTEGRITY. I learned to be human, and like I said, to admit my limit and get real about how I feel. I don’t need to hide it, being honest makes me a better person and probably more relatable too!
That all being said, this 40 things Alisa has learned in 40 years has really got me thinking! Some of it I already knew, some of it I did not. So, thank you, Alisa, again, for sharing your lessons. I know we each must stay in the moment and take life ONE day at a time, but can I just say? I hope life is easier at 40 than has been lately….that’s all I’m sayin’!
JoAnne & Ray, you remain in my thoughts & prayers, I hope things are working for you, individually and as a couple. I know what it’s like to feel like you’re hoping against hope and trying in a seemingly pointless situation. However, it is STILL worth it–to learn and to grow and develop your capacity to love and forgive another human being; especially yourself, that’s positively awesome!
Ron (Drummer Guy), you and your beloved are still in my thougths & prayers as well. I hope things are getting better, even if only a tiny bit each day. I will be sending a donation (a very small one, all be it, but still) week after next when I get paid. I hope your beloved is as comfortable as possible and that you are taking care of yourself too. God Bless both of you.
Okay, I think that’s about it…..
Have a great week/weekend, everyone and thanks for letting me vent!
Many Blessings,
-Sarah Liz
Oh and about #10; that’s one of my favorite quotes and I truly believe it! Sometimes, it’s harder to make our selves happy…but happy is different…you can be happy about certain things (my job is fantastic right now, and I’m so beyond blessed to have one!) and unhappy about others. I think sometimes, shooting for all-around 110% happiness is kind of futile. But, yes, learning to be happy on your own, for seemingly no reason at all, that’s a major life lesson that most people haven’t learned yet. Despite everything lately, I’m still happy, I really am!
What a great list. I need to print and keep this for future use. One of the things I like about being a woman in her 40s is the wisdom that truly does come with age. And you, my dear, have that in buckets.
Happy Birthday & all best for a brilliant year ahead.
sarah henry´s last [type] ..Summer Birthdays Rule
Sara Liz your comment really touched me. Thank you so much. It does make me realize that there are so many going through so much & helps keep me centered. You & your hubby will be in mine & my beloved’s prayers. I haven’t always been a believer in the old saying about bad things coming in threes. But the last ten years or so have taught me just that. I have had it happen many times. So I do hope the worst is over for you.
My wife & I were just discussing the other what we would do if something ever happened to our cats. We have 2 liter mates. We have had them since we moved into this house. They have been a huge source of comfort for us both. They really do become like kids. Naturally one attached to her (Thelma) & the other to me. Gee, guess what her name is..lol. The weird thing is how perceptive Louise is. Although she usually clings to me & usually sleeps in my bed. However, whenever my beloved becomes seriously ill, she gets on her bed & WILL NOT leave except to eat & go to the liter box. Then it is right back in bed with her.
It is almost strange. If I get up in the morning & Louise is on my beloved’s bed I know she is going to have a bad day & she has NEVER been wrong. If I try to move her she will hiss at me & refuse to leave. If a nurse has to draw blood or give her a shot she will hiss & growl at her. Normally she is very friendly to everybody. Somehow she will know my beloved is sick before she even does. I have no idea how she does that. Her sister is the total opposite. We call her the good time cat. “What no petting? I’m outta here”…lol & she is the one that sleeps with my beloved. They are strange animals. So I really understand how heartbreaking it must be to loose yours. It may be just an animal to many but to us who have had them & loved them the loss is painful. My heart goes out to you in this time of grief.
If you want an email shoulder to cry on Alisa has mine & you are welcome to write anytime. You could also use facebook. I don’t go there much anymore but I have Joanne, Kathy & phea on my page & you can email me from there. Don’t worry I don’t flirt…lol Of course my pictures may break your computer screen…HA! But just look under Ron Pettit, Slidell LA. I hope you are doing better today. Thanks Alisa for this wonderful post & the warmth we all feel as part of the PHEA family.
Have a Blessed Day
Ron
Andi, does that mean if I wear heels with my jeans my butt wont look so flat??? HA! It could cause a few weird looks being that I am a man. But hey I am secure in my masculinity….. I crack me up
All my life my butt has been as flat as a pancake. I could probably gain 30lbs, have my gut & waist grow by 5in & still have a flat butt. It’s funny when I was in the Air Force MANY years ago my best friend in the dorm (happened to be female) called me Airman No Ass.
Ron
Drummer Guy/Ron,
You can have my cats. I love them. But they aren’t into my puppy (dog). And my dog is better company for me. And they are spoiled rotten and demand food even before their 12 hour feeding is scheduled. But they are very pretty and very large – nearly 20 pounds each.
@Sara Liz…. I have no idea what Louise weighs but she is one F A T CAT…lol I only give her what is recommended food wise but when her dish goes empty she grieves, cry’s & pitches a fit..lol Sometimes after I fill it up she will eat until she gets sick. Her nickname is Louise the Bulimic Ballerena. The name comes from her eating & she will do these leaps in the air like peroietes. The problem is she is so overweight that sometimes when she does, the landing hurts her little paws…lol
My beloved does art & did one picture of Louise in a balerena outfit titled “Louise the Bulimic Balerena”. It won first place for our local art league show a few years ago. I posted a bunch of her artwork on FB. It is an amazing story. Until she became ill she couldn’t do art. Now she is an acomplised artist, has won numerous awards & it is some of the best therapy we could have asked for. A real gift from God.
Up until the last couple of weeks she taught art for a local group called STARC. She teaches art to the mentally handicapped. That is even better therapy for her. Her students are some of the most loving people you will ever meet. They await her coming in the door & give her big hugs. It takes a special talent to reach them. But she now has students who were totally withdrawn from people when she first started working with them. Now not only do they participate, but talk up a storm when they see you. It has been a real blessing for her. People are always telling her that her students are blessed by her being there. She says that SHE is the one who got all of the blessings out of it. She is an amazing lady
Ron
Opps I ment Kathy. That’s the second time I did that today. Earlier I ment Kathy & typed Joanne.. I am having a lot of senior moments? ….LOL
Ron
You are INCREDIBLE. Beaming in from San Francisco here. Thank you, Alissa.
What a list of sage wisdom. Each and every one is a gold nugget. Skinny jeans with heels…now, why aren’t I doing that?
Alisa,
I’ve enjoyed reading these lists of what you’ve learned. one that stays with me is the one about 100 people seeing the same event and seeing 100 different events — reminds me why the work of artists is valuable.
happy birthday to you and your daughter.
Kerry Dexter´s last [type] ..Cape Breton music from a new generation- The Cottars
Another good list and I really like 1 – 5 plus 10. We are all responsible for our own actions and these are good reminders on how we can all ‘lift our game’