About a year ago, I saw a flier that said, “Healing relationships through meditation,” or something like that. In less than a second, I thought of many relationships that needed healing.
I went to the class. I sat down. The teacher started talking. And then for the next two hours I thought things like:
I’m hot.
How long have I been here?
My ass hurts. I can’t believe I’ve been sitting for this long. I should leave.
Really, I should just get up. Now.
I’m getting nothing out of this. I really ought to leave.
My ass really hurts now.
Oh, this is getting bad. My entire leg is numb.
Why am I here?
Just get up. You can do it. Just leave. Who cares if everyone turns, stares, and thinks that you are a failure at meditation. Yes, you are. So what?
This is stupid. No wonder so few people take up Buddhism. They do nothing to make it exciting. Haven’t they heard of Power Point?
But somewhere in the midst of all of my negative mind chatter, one of the teacher’s key messages sunk in. Happiness is a state of mind. The only thing I need to be happy is me. I don’t need money or clothes or even for my husband to clean up more around the house. I can be happy at any moment and any time. I can be as happy as I make up my mind to be.
The following day, my ass was still sore from all of the sitting. I told my husband that I had a meditation injury.
I told him the class was stupid.
Then, the following week, I went back to that stupid class.
I thought similar things about my ass hurting and it being hot.
And then I returned the following week.
I have returned to this class over and over again for the past year. At some point during the year, I started an official Karma Project, to see how the teachings of Buddhism could change my life if I embraced them fully — whether I truly believed in them or not. Let me tell you—strange, strange, strange things have happened to me as a result, too. With each subsequent week of the class, I could feel myself subtly shifting and changing. The material slowly would sink in. And then I would find myself doing odd things.
Odd things like looking forward to class. And even odder things like feeling disappointed whenever a class was canceled.
Odd things like not losing my temper when my daughter was acting like a brat.
Odd things like walking up to my husband when he was obviously in a bad mood and giving him a hug rather than my usual, which is thinking two curse words about him over and over again.
Odd things like offering to consult with other writers who needed my help and, when they asked me how much I charged, suggesting they donate whatever they thought it was worth to the Writer’s Emergency Assistance Fund.
I’ll list more of the oddities in a little bit, but the point is this: the meditation and the Buddhism teachings have changed me in ways I never would have expected. I certainly have not reached enlightenment. Oh, I have a long, long way to go before my mind sees that day. But I now regularly experience blissful moments—moments when all feels right with the world, moments when I feel completely loved and treasured by the universe at large, moments when I think, “I don’t want this sensation to end.”
What I have learned in this past year has transformed my relationship with my husband. It has changed my relationships with friends and family, too. It has enriched my career. It has helped me to become a better mother. It has caused me to make different choices. Here are just some of the ways this project has changed me.
- Whenever I see a cow, I feel sorry for it. I look into the cow’s face and I see feelings. I see life. Hell, I see wisdom. I’m not quite to that place where I see those cows as one of my dear mothers from a previous life, but I am to the place where I consider it. I look into that cow’s face and I say, “Is it possible that you could have been my mother? Is it possible that I really ought not to eat you?” Don’t get me wrong. I still eat meat. But I feel bad about it, and whenever I see a cow in a field, I want to yell, “Just run! Run for your life! They are going to turn you into hamburger! Run!”
- I even feel this way about bugs. Before the Karma Project, I was a bug mass murderer. Now I feel bad about killing anything. Whenever my daughter complains, “Mommy! There’s a bug on the floor,” I can’t bring myself to kill it. On a good day, I will gently transport the thing outside. On a bad day, I’ll say, “Tell your father about it. I can’t kill it because it’s bad for my Karma.”
- I am more aware of who owns the problem. It’s easier for me to see boundaries and to be able to step out of decisions that are not mine to make. For instance, the aides who care for my grandfather keep nagging him to bring my grandmother home from the nursing home. He says he can’t handle it. I can think of ways that he could handle it (visiting nurses + around the clock aids), but I say nothing. He’s considered all of the options. It’s his decision, not mine.
- I am more comfortable with the idea of being uncomfortable. I used to aim for comfort. I wanted to be happy all the time, I never wanted to feel pain, and I certainly didn’t want to experience that thing known as boredom. Now I don’t worry about such things as much. Pain only bothers me because I have trouble concentrating, which means I have trouble writing. Boredom? It’s a gift. It’s a time to breathe, to contemplate, or to meditate.
- I can see the suffering of others more easily. And this allows me to have compassion for people I used to despise.
- I appreciate people more. I’m even able to treasure the aspects of certain people that used to annoy me. Now I find such things endearing, and I’m thankful for the uniqueness of each living being. Did I just write that? Yes, I think I did.
- I see difficulties as opportunities to grow and learn. Recently during an altercation with a friend, I just kept reminding myself, “This is an opportunity to practice. How can you use this to grow?”
I could go on and on, but that gives you a good taste of how much I’ve changed. In the coming week, I’ll be writing extensively about the Karma Project. I’ll share some insights I’ve gained about meditation, compassion, patience, relationships and much more.
Keep in mind that you do not have to become a Buddhist to learn from any of this. You can still eat meat. You can still kill bugs. You don’t have to believe in reincarnation. One of the most beautiful aspects of Buddhism is that anyone can practice it. If you are a Christian, it can help you put into practice many of the teachings of Christ. For instance, have you struggled to “turn the other cheek”? Buddhism can help.
If you are an atheist, Buddhism can help you to find order in a chaotic world. It can help you to feel happier and to improve your relationships.
Buddhism is a religion, yes. But it’s also a science and it’s an exercise. It helps you strengthen and focus your mind to the point that you can tell your mind what you want it to think. In that way you can shift away from negativity and toward positive thoughts and actions.
At least, that has been my experience.
Copyright 2010 Project Happily Ever After
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{ 28 comments… read them below or add one }
Cool stuff, Alisa! I know many fellow Christians would consider me a heretic for saying this, but I think I agree with you about Buddhism helping you put into practice the teachings of Christ. While I wouldn’t “covert” to Buddhism, I can see the value in many of its teachings. Many of the changes you describe in yourself are the same changes that Christ encourages. I’ve been following you through most of the Karma project and I’ve been so impressed by many of the things you’ve practiced and passed along. I look forward to reading more of your reflections on the topic.
Kathleen Quiring | Project M´s last [type] ..Meet the Husband
This is one of my favorite posts you’ve ever written, Alisa!
I have always been extremely interested in spiritual studies and religious exploration.
I consider myself a Christian, as I do believe Christ died for my sins, but I have never believed that that’s all there is to it. Yes I know the Bible says “you shall have no other Gods before me,” and I agree, but Budhism isn’t about a God–and you don’t have to worship Budha to practice some of his teachings. Budhism, I think, is about accountability, responsibility and compassion–all things that Christ teaches too!
I am pretty open minded to most beliefs out there, when you really begin to study them all, they’re not that different.
Budhism is a way of life–just like any other “religion” but it doesn’t seem to be as dictorial as the others.
I believe a spiritual practice, of any kind, gives a person a sense of peace and purpose, and I think that’s what we all want.
Budhism, imparticular, gives greater attention to the inner being–I think more than other “religions”.
I totally agree with you on letting other people make their own decisions–I’m working on that myself and it is HUGE! It’s so hard sometimes, but you can’t take on another person’s karma, you know?!
I can’t say I’m to the point of letting annoyances be endearing to me, but it’s something to think about and work on…..
I’ve personally noticed that a lot of happiness in life depends on learning to accept things the way they are, and mind your own business.
I don’t mean giving in and giving up on what’s important to you, or never lending a hand and being completely non-compassionate, but at some point, you realize that everyone makes their own decisions and you really are only responsible for yourself. You can help, you can console, you can advise and most of all, you can pray–you cannot however “fix” someone or something–especially until you’ve done so for yourself. Again, this is so hard, but life changing when you LIVE it!
Yes, other peoples decisions often affect you, and come back on you, but for the most part, we’re all on our own path, and yet, we’re all in this together!
I was a vegetarian for years, and then I started eating meat again back in November and I decided last week, no more of that. It’s not that I feel guilty about eating meat, but I do feel differently when I do. It’s harder to meditate, and I don’t feel as clean and open to God’s voice. Now I sound nuts, but oh well! I’ll still have an occasional hamburger or hot dog, but no more weekly meat binges for me! I just feel better when I don’t eat it, that’s all. I don’t think vegetarianism is for everyone, but I personally enjoy it when I am one.
I’m so happy for you reaching the goals you have made so far, and I am so abundantly happy for your happiness–it shines through in your writing and I think every single one of us could use a lot more “calmness” in our lives!
My favorite part of this post, and the one I agree with the most is when you said: “Boredom? It’s a gift. It’s a time to breathe, to contemplate, or to meditate.”
I couldn’t agree more! I don’t find myself “bored” very often and if I am, I go with it, instead of resist it trying to fill my time.
This all being said, I find myself going to church almost weekly now and reading my Bible daily–however, I’m noticing that simutaneously practicing meditation, reflection, quiet-time, solitude, Bible Study and prayer time is really helping–it flows together, it doesn’t work against one another.
Anyway, now that I’ve written a novel, I just wanted to reiterate that I’m so glad you wrote this post and are sharing your experiences.
Anything that makes us bigger, better, fuller people who are open to change and self-reflection is a very, very good thing in my opinion. It doesn’t really matter how or when people get to that point, or what “religion” they use to do it, it’s usually always a good thing.
I can’t wait to hear more about your journey! I think I need to find a meditation class in my area!
Thank you for the inspiration!
Many Blessings,
-Sarah Liz
My first husband and I were married in a Buddhist temple and I used to go to the temple every weekend for years. But I have not been in quite awhile and although the philosophy and practices still live within in me below the surface I have not studied formerly for a long time. However despite that fact I still benefit from it every single day.
Andi´s last [type] ..Paris Phone Apps
What a wonderful concept to find peace within yourself. Ever since finding this site I have been looking more into Buddhism and while some of it is hard for me to understand the idea of slowing your mind down through meditation and recentering yourself, turning down the garbage so to speak, has really struck a cord with me and I have been meditating each morning and each evening as a way to start my day and end my day of a more peaceful note. It’s my hope that by calming myself down I will be ab;e to deal with the stuff with Ray better instead od the screaming lunatic I was that had him in full retreat.
That’s so great that you stuck with it for a year, what an accomplishment!!! Those are some great lessons you’ve learned.
Andi´s last [type] ..India- Day 5 Part 6
Alisa-I am so so SO happy for you. I was raised Catholic and was very active in my church until I married and “lost touch” with that spiritual community. It wasn’t until I took a test online at beliefnet.com called the “beliefomatic quiz,” I know it sounds silly, but it really is a great in depth questionairre that can give you insight if nothing else, into most popular religions, that told me that my beliefs most closely aligned with Buddhism. Naturally this intrigued me as I knew next to nothing about Buddhism. Now, many months later, after researching, implementing and really trying to understand the path to enlightenment, I report the same results. I find joy, happiness, forgiveness, and understanding much easier now. This helps in so many areas of your life, inside yourself, inside your marriage and outside in your community and reverberates throughout the World. The World needs all the goodness you have to give Alisa…I think leaving the bug killing to your husband may count.
I’m glad meditation and Buddhism has helped you, Alisa. I read one book or a part of a book about Buddhism – I just can’t go there. Basically what I got, and maybe I didn’t understand what I was reading, was that I’m going to be a bug or worse next life because of all the bugs I kill. After my religious (or cults as many people call them) experiences I’ve shied away from organized religions/beliefs. I’m currently doing the religious/beliefs buffet – I take what works for me, what I can truly believe in and toss the rest to the side. It’s working for me, for now.
And after reading Elizabeth Gilbert’s book, “Eat, Pray, Love”, I know I can’t sit Indian style for more than 15 minutes if I ever plan on walking again in the next 24 – 48 hours. Yes, my legs have gone to hell in a hand basket. I used to be so flexible/bending – now I’m not.
What I really want to know, is how do I get a picture in the little box to the right of my name?
Very interesting to read, Alisa. I’ve known a few people who follow the Buddhist principals and they are the kindest, gentlest, calmest people. It sure sounds like this has already done so much for you.
I wonder how you found this class and how you would suggest finding one in other areas of the country? I wouldn’t even know where to begin to look or what exactly to look for — is it a class in meditation? or a class in Buddhism? Or both?
I see no posts in the statistics box from DrummerGuy. Is he OK? Did he go on vacation?
I’ll check in on Drummer Guy. I was wondering the same thing, but then i thought I would come off as some sort of neurotic blog writer if I emailed him and asked, “Why haven’t you commented lately?” But now that there are two of us wondering, it seems justified.
Kathy–I really am eating from the same buffet. I’ve studied many different religions and spiritual practices, and I’ve taken a little from all of them (and left some things behind as well). Anyway, the upcoming posts will not be preachy (I hope… if I accomplish my goal of how I want to write them.) So no worries about me accusing you of coming back as a grasshopper.
For the photo, if you type the word “gravitar” into google, some sites will come up that walk you through how to create one. Once you have one, it will appear on any blog that enables it, like this one.
Alisa, I wouldn’t mind coming back as a grasshopper. I think grasshoppers are pretty cool. In fact I had a “pet” grasshopper years ago. Literally, this grasshopper stayed around my yard for about 2 years. Even hitched a ride on my Tahoe and went on the freeway with me. It was hilarious and oh so cool.
Thanks for the instructions on how to get a pic posted.
Thanks for checking on DrummerGuy. Tell him his “friends” miss him and care about it.
I am so glad someone has brought up Drummer Guy. In one of the few moments where Ray and I were talking this weekend I even said that I hoped nothing has happened, it would be great if you could reach out to him Alisa and just let us know he is OK or if we can do anything to help. I do feel invested in all of you on this site, you have all been a wonderful support to me.
Alisa SO very glad to see the blog with some new post. I hope you got everything done you needed too. We missed ya
While a practicing Christian, so Budism isn’t a fit for me the practice of reflective prayer & meditation is encouraged. It is something I need to do more of & this was helpful. Thanks. You still Rock
Oh I just read the rest of the comments. HI EVERYBODY ….LOL Thanks for your concern. I am fine & so is my beloved. I didn’t know the new post had started back up. So I hadn’t checked in a while. I REALLY missed my phea fix. Looking forward to reconnecting. YIPPIEEEEEE!!!!!
God Bless
Drummer Guy
Oh Joanne glad to see you posted your pic of you & your hubby. Nice to see a face with the comments. I tried to download mine but the files are too big. lol
Drummer Guy; Soooo glad you are back and everyone is doing well. Yeh I like to put a face with names also.
Just my take: I know this world and everything in it was created, this is obvious in even something as simple as a fox glove. After that I just don’t know anymore. I was a committed Christian from early childhood but when my marriage went south so did my faith. I had my down on my knees moment and have never felt so alone in my life. That being said I do believe that the energies we project and put out there are more than likely the energies we will receive back. I know this smacks of “The Secret” and I don’t believe that just by having all these wonderful thoughts and projecting them that we could have riches and happiness but it makes sense that when we project a happy, confident image we will attract that in kind.
I am seriously beginning to see where Karma comes into my life. I can actually believe I may have had a bad past life too. Mostly because while imperfect I am not a “bad person” but I am leading one of the most screwed up lives I can imagine.
All that being said Ray and I are meeting with the marriage counselor this afternoon at 4 and I have a feeling after this weekend it will be the last. I hope not but I think we are finally out of options. So all you Christians please pray for us, all others really good vibes aimed at Jersey would be appreciated. We all come to this site because we believe on some level in marriage and I still do too.
Joanne, I’ve been having difficulties with my husband lately – about the last 6 weeks maybe. I swear he’s worse than a woman on her period. One minute he’s being a royal a$$, the next he’s being lovey. I’m getting whiplash.
I don’t know all the difficulties you and Ray are having. But, don’t throw in the towel just yet if you can deal with the difficulties a few more months. If I were into astrology, I’d swear the planets were misaligned.
I’ll hold a “happy thought” for you and Ray. Can you hold a happy thought for my husband and I? Before I shoot him. I wish I could just hit him – in my dreams I do, but the hit is never hard enough to make my point.
Prayers going up from me Joanne. I so hope things will work out.
@ Kathy I’ll buy a bullet proof vest for the hubby..LOL Sounds like he could have testosterone problems. It can cause mood swings, like you said like a woman with pms. Probably closer to menopause. Man I remember those years with the wife. Not pretty..lol Funny thing is it was my second go around with a wife going through it. My first wife started prematurely at age 38. I must attract that…lol. Prayers & happy thoughts going out for you both.
DrummerGuy, I’m going thru menopause, I’m not bitchy. I was having at least 20 hot flashes a day – not bitchy. When I was having hormonal issues a few years ago, I was bitchy and hubby put his foot down on me “taking it out on him”. Now I don’t take my stuff out on him. Even with this quitting smoking (four weeks come this Friday), I haven’t been bitchy at him or anyone.
It’s really the double standard along with the crabbiness that’s getting to me.
I’ll keep many happy thoughts your way. Don’t hit him, please, I know from where I speak, I think I grovelled for a couple days after I hit Ray last week and I am sure I will hear about it this afternoon at the therapists. I am sure you will all hear the “poor Raymond married to the big bad woman” outcry all the way from Jersey.
I’m not throwing in the towel myself, this time I think Ray will be giving up because except for showing up for counseling he feels this is my problem, he just wants peace at this point. I think he is ready to walk away.
Kathy; So true, most days I go home and Ray can be sullen and withdrawn and I walk on egg shellls till I figure the best way around it, but if I even approach him with something that bothers me he says I am being purposely hurtful. I can approach him so carefully that it is ludicrous and he will still be hurt. I can’t even talk to him anymore.
Ray reminds of this little dog we had when I was growing up. I accidentally stepped on his paw and of course made this Hugh fuss over the poor babies wounded paw . He was such a smart dog that whenever he wanted to be in my lap and get sympathy petting he would limp up to me and show me his paw. Well, Ray has played the “don’t hurt my inner wounded little boy” so much that he has left us no ability to deal with things between us.
Thank God Alisa- you pointed out the positives to meditation because I think right now it is saving me. I wish I was better at it or could hold onto the calmness longer so it could carry me through. I’m left with no way to vent it seems.
Joanne, I won’t hit him. I have four older and much bigger brothers. I learned as a kid – boys hit back.
I’ve got the same thing going, Joanne. God forbid I say anything remotely that makes him “wrong”. You’d think I’d cut out his heart with how he feels so mistreated and put down.
I’m pretty certain my husband won’t end it. He’d have to cook his own meals, do his own laundry, etc. You’d think he went from his mother’s house to our home they way he likes to be taken care of. But no, he was a bachelor taking care of everything himself when we met. But I don’t walk around behind him picking up after him. So this weekend when I pointed out he hadn’t cleaned up a wooden utensil and hadn’t shut a cabinet door, he said “you’re just like my mom nagging me about all that I didn’t do or what I did wrong”.
This weekend he pointed out that he “hates how I ask if something is wrong when he’s looking around at stuff in the house”. He said that it makes it sound like he’s a complainer and that he’s always finding something wrong. I said, maybe it’s me that always finds something wrong and I’m making sure he’s OK. Then he took what he said back and said I still didn’t understand what he was trying to get across to me.
Alrighty then. I’m stuck. Can I say anything or should I just say nothing. He swears he’ll let me know if something is wrong. But it’s been proven that he doesn’t. He stews and stews and then blows up. I hate those kinds of surprises.
Let’s hold the good thought for each other.
Kathy didn’t mean to imply that you were bitchy at all. I don’t think you took it that way but if so I aplogize. The first wife didn’t get bitchy so much as just wild mood swings. More the “I love you so much, you mean so much to me, too bad I now have to kill you”..LOL yea that’s an exageration. Hey at least I got to meet somebody new every day & sometimes every hour…lol
My beloved went through the hot flases & some mood swings but not much. I saw how bad the hot flashes could be & felt helpless as all I co do was encourage her. I tried the hugging thing but she said it felt like her skin was crawling & didn’t want to be touched. I understood. I am one that when sick I don’t like being held either.
But I have seen how tough menopause can be on ladies. & your right here is a double standard. We men sometimes go through hormonal changes too. But society takes a different view on it. Men are allowed to be grouchy as a result but women are not supposed to. I have NO IDEA where that thinking came from. I haven’t hit it yet but I guess everybody is different. I may hit it in the future maybe not.
Also I went through a short spoiled boy phase. hey I was in my 20′s..lol But marrying somebody in the military solved that. With her gone so much I had to learn to do the cooking, laundry & caring for myself. I am glad now it worked out that way. Since my beloved is so sick I already knew how to do all that. Perhaps the two of you could work out some sharing of duties. If God forbid, anything happened to you or you became seriously ill he needs to be able to do those things. Now I have no idea how to approach that on your part. I hope everything gets better for you & the hubby.
God Bless
Ron
P.S. I think I know everybody here enough where I don’t mind saying my name..LOL
Ron (DrummerGuy), I didn’t think you were implying I was bitchy. But I know the feeling. A few years ago I was a bitch on crack. Every little thing set me off. Hell, I didn’t like being around myself. I never knew if I was going to bitchy, moody, mellow or just crazy. It sucked and I hated it. I’m glad I’m over that or that I’ve learned to keep my roller coast emotions under control.
Yes, men do have hormonal changes and they do go thru a male menopause. Can never remember the name of it tho. (My memory went years ago.)
I wonder where the double standard came from also. I do know that doctors (male and female) were taught for years that when I woman reaches her late 30 and up, that when she comes into the office complaining about not sleeping, mood swings, etc., doctors were taught to prescribe Valium (in the 60s thru 80s) or some sort of anti-depressant/mood stabilizer. I don’t know what they do for men. I’m sure it’s different. But that’s where part of the double standard came from.
He knows how to do everything. He just doesn’t want to do it. And our relationship is set up where I do all the household stuff, since I’m a housewife and don’t work outside the home.
JoAnne, I am praying for you & Ray and sending you good thoughts & good vibes! I do both–I pray and I send love and Light! I find that they work best when combined!
I think there comes a point in every relationship (marriage or not) where you either give up or give in. I believe marriage should be forever and I know JoAnne & Ray have worked incredibly hard to “save” their marriage, but I also think you can’t make a horse drink from a well they don’t want to drink from. I think at some point, life is too short to be miserable and unhappy. I think sometimes too much is said and done to salvage something. I do NOT think this is the case with you and Ray, JoAnne, but I’m just saying that you (and him) are a strong person, and you WILL be okay either way! I wouldn’t encourage you to either give in or give up just yet, I want the best for you two, health and happiness and love and passion! We all deserve that. We do get back what we put out, I absolutely agree! All I’m saying is, don’t give up hope just yet–I think there’s always hope–even if there’s not hope for a “marriage” there is hope for some of salvation of a relationship, friendship or at least civility. You know. And again, I’m sending positive vibes your way!
Oh and about the men menopause thing–yeah, I think men are weird, I’m sorry, but I do. I think most men I’ve met in my life (whether boyfriends or not) are moodier than most women. Unless a woman is actually going through PMS or actual menopause, or pregnant of course, I think men are generally moodier than women–on an average day. But, I can be really moody too. And yes, I too went through that thing a few months back where I was like “who the hell is this girl?” I was crabby and cranky and happy and sad and up and down. Ugh, I drove myself nuts–I got over it, thank goodness, but my poor husband, God Bless him for sticking that roller coaster out! LOL!
My husband doesn’t help out around the house either–very much. If and when he does, I have to beg him–and then he says I’m nagging, which I despise. I feel like even though I don’t expect him to be a mind reader, I do think he should keep me in mind. You know, there’s a difference. I get tired of having to always ask for help–and then when I do, I’m “nagging”. I’ve learned to pick my battles here–the top 4 things that are REALLY important to me that HE do, I will “nag” about. Too bad! There are some chores I can’t physically do, so he has to do them. He WILL help out, but usually I have to nag first. I’ve tried explaining why it’s important to me and what I want done (and I NEVER complain about the WAY he’s done something–no point, and so not fair to do to someone) and that seems to help in the long run–not in the throws of the argument though!
I’m beginning to realize that while we can never change someone, I think CONSIDERATION is super important in ANY relationship–especially a marriage. You have to be wiling and able to put yourself in your spouses’ shoes and TRY and see things from their point of view–even if it makes NO sense to you! I think most arguments (at least ours) stem from a lack of consideration, communication and validation. I think just being a considerate person who THINKS about what they say and do and comes from a place of love (love being an action, not a word)–that does WONDERS! Granted, some days I’m just like “whatever, it’s MY life, MY time, NY way” but you know….I find that when I’m really considerate of my husband, we get along better. Just my experience. I wish he was as often that considerate with me, but he is sometimes and no one’s perfect, this I know!
Enough men bashing–at the end of the day, I have a man who loves me, stands by me and wants to keep trying–even if he doesn’t always know how, hey, neither do I. I think I need to re-shift my focus and start recognizing (again) the good in my husband….
Because, despite the craziness and ups and downs of marriage and life–I am still very, very blessed.
It’s all a work in progress, and all a learning process….have a great day everyone!
Many Blessings,
-Sarah Liz
@ Sara Liz,
You weren’t man bashing at all. We can be weird creatures. I guess it is the differences between the sexes that makes marriage such a wonderful journey. I know I wouldn’t want to be married to a male…LOL I am kind of strange though I guess. My wife tells me I am not emotional enough. For me it has become a defense mechnism. After being a caregiver for so long & having to deal with bad news like medical reports, more medical bills etc… I have learned to not let it get to me. But it can be seen as no emotion. When it is really putting walls up to preserve my sanity. I don’t know if that is a good thing or not but is working for now. Probably bad that I pen up a lot of feelings that sooner or latter may come out. But a counseler would be more expense. UGGG Now my head is spinning…LOL
Good post – and gets back to the central core of happiness being internal, not from external sources. I think everyone changes over a lifetime – not doing so just indicates a lack of imagination! I think while your core beliefs may remain the same (or similar) lots of other superficial things change as we mature.
Joanne – sorry to hear you’re reaching a crisis point, and pray that you and Ray can find a POSITIVE way forward together
Drummer Guy – glad you’re back with us!
Where can i attend a karma class?
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Alisa, this post was great to read. I get perked up when I read about the religious/spiritual practices of others because I believe allowing one’s spirit to reach out to God/god/gods/goddesses/supernatural beings/ideas/ways of life/other is tremendous important and transformational. I read through the posts and saw such wonderful reports of how some sort of practice is helpful to fellow responders, and that’s really cool. IMO as a practicing Christian, many of the tenants of Buddhism are things we are supposed to be doing but don’t always do. Since I take things in through the filter of Christianity, I just see things mentioned in Buddhism as things that are expected of us from Christ that are simply stated in a different way. For example, I see the law of karma as equivalent to the principle of reaping and sowing. The 5 precepts relate to the 10 commandments which are summed up in the greatest 2. The 2 greatest commandments incorporate the Buddhist principle of compassion. I see many other examples such as that. It just saddens me to think some who profess Christianity appear to misrepresent — or possibly misunderstand — it so much they need to add something to their practice in order to be more Christlike. Of course, I don’t mean to oversimplify Buddhism and do not have an in-depth knowledge of it, so if I’m off course I invite you to enlighten me.