My I Don’t Suck List

And Why You Might Want an ‘I Don’t Suck List’, Too

I’ve had a sad, weepy day. Some of why I’m sad and weepy is, no doubt, chemical. I come from a long line of people who get sad and weepy whenever the barometric pressure drops, and today has been a dreary, drippy, rainy day.

Still, I have other more concrete reasons for my weepiness, but they fall into the category of topics that I don’t blog about. I know. I know. You find it fascinating that the woman who openly writes about how to give a blowjob and how to shave your bush has topics that are off limits on her blog.

But I do.

Let’s just overlook why I was feeling down and weepy, shall we? It’s beside the point. All you need to know is that I found something in the mailbox, and I interpreted it to mean this: I am the world’s worst writer.

That’s basically it.

End result: I went back to bed at 10 am. I pulled my knees into my chest and I felt so, so sorry for myself.

Eventually I channeled Tim Brownson the life coach. He asked, “Can you reframe this? Is it possible that you really don’t suck?”

I thought about that for a while. Then I thought about whether the real Tim would ask this question. Then I thought about emailing Tim to see if he would ask such a question.

And then I thought about calling my mother, because she surely didn’t think I sucked.

And then, for some reason, I didn’t email Tim or call my mother.  Instead, I logged onto a writer’s group and I posted that I was feeling sucky.

Then I ate quite a bit of chocolate.

Then I went for a run. A quick aside: a big dose of chocolate followed by a run isn’t necessarily a good combination.

Still, during the run, I had a revelation. It was this. What I found in the mail that morning was NOT a message from the universe that said, “Your writing sucks.” No, it was a message from the universe that said, “Stop wasting your time and energy on crap and start focusing your energy on what matters.”

Yes, a door was closing, but another door had already opened. It had been open for a crazy long time. And the universe was all in my face and practically shouting, “Just walk through the dang door already!”

When I got back from the run, I couldn’t wait to write this post. Still in my stinky sweaty running clothes, I sat down at my computer. That’s when I found all sorts of emails from various writers who had read my Do I Suck? Post and who wanted me to know that I was the OPPPOSITE OF SUCK.

Oh, they told me all sorts of reasons I didn’t suck. They told me that I was their role model. They told me that I was funny, that I had a gift, and that I was kind.

And, just like that, I thought, “I need an ‘I don’t suck’ list.

So I mined the emails from these writers and I mined my “feel good folder,” which is full of emails I’ve gotten from blog readers, editors, clients and others over the years. What follows is my list.

People Tell Me I Don’t Suck Because…

1. I’m funny
2. I’m generous
3. I’m kind
4. I’m entertaining
5. I write about blowjobs and nether grooming, and no one else has the balls to write about such things. Oh, and I write about balls, too.
6. I’m brave (see #5 on why).
7. I help people feel normal
8. I help people feel better
9. I help people feel less alone
10. I help people feel possible
11. I help people find courage
12. I give people hope
13. I help some people get through the day without having a nervous breakdown
14. I have inspired others to start blogs, save their marriages, and make other important changes in their lives
15. I have helped people understand themselves, their spouses and others around them
16. I connect to people, and they connect to me
17. I am an example of how to live with integrity
18. I am a positive voice in the stew of negativity that is on the Internet
19. I have a special insight into the human mind
20. I am tapped into the heart and soul of women
21. I am a rock’n and amazing person (curious if the person who emailed that to me will recognize himself?)
22. My sex writing is conversational, but not base; friendly, but not ingratiating; honest, but doesn’t suffer from Emily Gouldism.
23. I matter.

I’m amazed that I was able to come up with 23 pieces of evidence that I really don’t suck. When I started the list, I thought I might get to 3 or possibly 5. But 23? Wow. Maybe these people know what they are talking about, you know?

What I found so powerful about this little exercise was this: I wasn’t arguing with myself about why I didn’t suck. No, I was just looking at the evidence—at emails that other people had written to me over the years and what these people had told me without being coerced or paid to do so.

I’m guessing you have Suck Days, too. If so, I highly recommend creating a Feel Good folder. In it, store all of the evidence that you don’t suck. Then, once that folder is nice and thick, write your I Don’t Suck List.

It just might gag that devil on your shoulder once and for all.

Now, if you’ll excuse me, I really need a shower. I might not suck, but I sure do stink.

Why don’t you suck? Why do you matter? Do you have weepy days? How do you get through them? Leave a comment.

Note: I have not abandoned the By Your Request posts. But I do have one more unrelated post I’d like to write before I resume them.

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