Comments on: 15 Reasons Care Giving Sucks

By: Lori G

Lori G — Mon, 07 Feb 2011 15:10:50 +0000

#16 Sometimes they start out being so appreciative, thank you, thank you, your the best! And then they can become so demanding..you need to get me this, you need to do that! LOL

By: John M

John M — Sat, 09 Oct 2010 17:24:47 +0000

“It only means that I love myself more.”

Some partners in a marriage don’t feel that way.

“To hell with” … “in sickness and health.”

I took the words very seriously when I married. Through thick and thin. Take the good with the bad. Repay love, kindness, and honor duty to ones own self and others.

When the going gets tough…… ?

By: OneHotTamale25

OneHotTamale25 — Mon, 12 Jul 2010 21:36:18 +0000

As I read this post I could only think sad thoughts for people who work in social services as caregivers (which is one word as I am sure you have been told already) and then have to come home and continue the role for their spouses. What a challenging life to lead. I would definitely encourage any person who is providing care services to think of self care. It can be emotional turmoil to think of self when serving as a caregiver. (I don’t have time to feed myself because I have to feed him. I can’t take a break because her needs won’t get met. I can’t consider respite because my spouse will feel deserted, etc.) Still, it is really difficult to provide good care to others when we are not caring for ourselves. Caregivers must care for themselves, too.

By: Drummer Guy

Drummer Guy — Fri, 02 Jul 2010 17:50:04 +0000

@ Eric. Thank you so much for posting that. Right now money is tight from all the medical expenses but first chance I get I am ordering that book. It sounds like exactly what I am doing now. So thanks a million.

@ Junebug you are a GOOD man. I have difficulty just caring for one & it is emotionally & physically draining. I can’t even begin to imagine doing the same for a group of people. It shows you must have a big heart. God bless you.

By: Junebug

Junebug — Fri, 02 Jul 2010 17:33:31 +0000

Caregiving Is A Tough Job.. I’m 20 Years Old And I Work In An Assisted Living Home And We Have To Take Care Of Alot Of Old People There.. I Only Work Weekend There But Its Just Me In A House With 5 People.!! Its Hard Work.. And 3 Of Those Old People Are In Wheelchairs So I Have To Always Be Changing Their Diapers.. Its A Live’In Job So I’m There From Friday Night Till Sunday Night.. And Pays Pretty Crappy.. I’ll Admit There Are Nights That After A Hectic Day Of Work And I’ve Put Everyone To Bed I’ll Sit On The Sofa And Just Break Down And Cry.!! This Job Is Emotionally, Mentally And Physically Exhausting.!! There Are Also Times I Wanna Cry With The Old People Because Some Of Them Experience Pain And The Pain Meds They Have Don’t Work, But There Is Nothing I Can Do For Them And I Feel Bad For Them..
At My Work I’m Assigned To 1 House With 6 People To Take Care Of And The Things I Have To Do Is Dress Them, Change Their Diapers, Bathe Them, Cook Breakfast, Lunch & Dinner.. Do Their Laundry Clean The House Which Includes Sweeping, Mopping, Cleaning The Bathrooms, Make Their Beds, Clean Their Bedrooms, Water The Lawn And Plants, And Clean The Patio.. Its Very Exhausting Towards The End Of The Day.. But to Be Honest, If My Parents Were To Ever Be In Need Of A Caregiver I Would Take Care Of Both Of Them Because The Way I See It Is Their My Parents, They Took Care Of Me When I Was A Baby, They Fed Me, Changed My Diaper, Raised Me, And The Least I Can Do Is Take Care Of Them When Their Old And Aren’t Capable Of Doing It Themselves.
Oh Yeah And I’m A 20 Year Old Male And I Work As A Live-In Caregiver On The Weekeds..

By: Jennifer Margulis

Jennifer Margulis — Sun, 23 May 2010 17:16:49 +0000

It really is hard to be a good caregiver and feel you are doing enough. I worry about this as my parents get older and I see people struggling to care for sick love ones.

By: Eric

Eric — Sun, 23 May 2010 11:28:53 +0000

a GREAT GREAT GREAT book on this topic is Beyond Chaos by Gregg Piburn – Every one of you should read it if you are a caregiver or receiver – it will change the way you deal with the process 100000%.

http://www.amazon.com/Beyond-Chaos-Journey-Alongside-Chronically/dp/091242320X/ref=cm_lmf_tit_25/181-2269147-6813534

By: Drummer Guy

Drummer Guy — Fri, 21 May 2010 14:06:24 +0000

@ Newlywed & Unemployed. You could very well be having PTSD. I probably have it to some extent myself. As my wife is facing death she has told me she wants me to remarry after she is gone. Her intentions are good & she is just demonstrating love but I don’t think I will ever remarry after she passes. I don’t ever want to take the chance of having to go through this again. When I really think about it I know that seems unreasonable. Chances of it happening twice is a million to one shot. Still the thought terrifies me. Is that similar to what you are feeling? I would be curious to see if somebody else who has been down this road feels the same.

By: Newlywed & Unemployed

Newlywed & Unemployed — Fri, 21 May 2010 03:56:33 +0000

My first husband was in a debilitating car accident and left with permanent injuries. I became his caretaker and it was the hardest thing I’ve ever done. I managed the home, I managed his health care, I dealt with the lawyers. By the age of 27, I’d ceased to be a wife and an independent woman. We could not get relief because our auto insurance wouldn’t pay for anything up front, or lawyer screwed us over in the settlement (he agreed to sign the ‘hold blameless clause’ for future expenses even though we’d told him not to) closing the door to all future insurance help and we were reduced to living on disability.

First Husband tried to be appreciative and as little a burden as possible, but a lot of damage was done unintentionally and we divorced.

I’m a little afraid of having children. I’m afraid to be needed that much again; to be that tied down. I swear I have a little PTSD from those 4 years.
.-= Newlywed & Unemployed´s last blog ..Hot Off the Presses: What I Wish I’d Known Before the Wedding =-.

By: Bern

Bern — Fri, 21 May 2010 01:42:59 +0000

Lots of great thoughts and ideas in all the posts! Particularly like Drummer Guys points as he had had to deal with this very issue long term – and really liked your #3 of all of them! As all who have had to deal with this have said it is vital to stay positive and look after yourself, and this includes getting the negative people away from you.

I haven’t had to deal with this, but who knows what the future brings and there is a great list of things to consider here.