Comments on: Are you bored in bed? http://www.projecthappilyeverafter.com/2010/04/are-you-bored-in-bed/ Because life after "I do" isn't always so charming Thu, 09 Feb 2012 06:39:55 +0000 hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.3.1 By: John Wilder http://www.projecthappilyeverafter.com/2010/04/are-you-bored-in-bed/comment-page-1/#comment-86799 John Wilder Sat, 10 Sep 2011 20:01:28 +0000 http://www.projecthappilyeverafter.com/?p=3749#comment-86799 Hey Heather. I feel your pain and sympathize, I can recommend a book to you by Michelle Weiner Davis called The Sex Starved Wife. I would like to repeat my advice to get your husband tested for low testosterone. In his twenties most men want to have sex every night. Getting angry at him will only cause him to withdraw. You need to try and have patience with him and tell him what you would like. I suspect that perhaps he is fightiing latent homosexual tendencies. Is he a momma's boy who had a domineering mother? I can give you advice off this column if you will drop me a line at marriagecoach1@yahoo.com Blessings on you and yours John Wilder Hey Heather.
I feel your pain and sympathize, I can recommend a book to you by Michelle Weiner Davis called The Sex Starved Wife.

I would like to repeat my advice to get your husband tested for low testosterone. In his twenties most men want to have sex every night.

Getting angry at him will only cause him to withdraw. You need to try and have patience with him and tell him what you would like. I suspect that perhaps he is fightiing latent homosexual tendencies. Is he a momma’s boy who had a domineering mother?

I can give you advice off this column if you will drop me a line at marriagecoach1@yahoo.com

Blessings on you and yours
John Wilder

]]> By: Heather http://www.projecthappilyeverafter.com/2010/04/are-you-bored-in-bed/comment-page-1/#comment-86471 Heather Fri, 09 Sep 2011 10:09:20 +0000 http://www.projecthappilyeverafter.com/?p=3749#comment-86471 Just came across this site and feel frustrated that there seems little help out there for women who want to encourage their partners into more sex. I am 24, have a high sex drive, and I am kinky. My husband, 25, finishes too quickly, doesn't like it rough, has no sexual confidence and does not seem bothered if we don't have sex often. This makes me feel unwanted, not sexy, and I get very angry with him (as you mentioned John). I have no idea what to do! I've bought underwear, toys, tried new positions, talked to him (and shouted at him) about it. Now it seems like he wants to be the dominant one in bed but doesn't know how because I always take the lead. When I don't and sit back.....very little sex happens. I have never had an orgasm and feel desperate for some solid advice. How can I give my husband confidence while trying to manage my own sexual frustration and anger? Its starting to make me see him as less manly and I keep thinking I want a real man! I love him and want this to work, why can't he just throw we around a bit more and have sex more. I don't understand why this is so hard for him? Thanks, I hope someone replies! Just came across this site and feel frustrated that there seems little help out there for women who want to encourage their partners into more sex. I am 24, have a high sex drive, and I am kinky. My husband, 25, finishes too quickly, doesn’t like it rough, has no sexual confidence and does not seem bothered if we don’t have sex often. This makes me feel unwanted, not sexy, and I get very angry with him (as you mentioned John). I have no idea what to do! I’ve bought underwear, toys, tried new positions, talked to him (and shouted at him) about it. Now it seems like he wants to be the dominant one in bed but doesn’t know how because I always take the lead. When I don’t and sit back…..very little sex happens. I have never had an orgasm and feel desperate for some solid advice. How can I give my husband confidence while trying to manage my own sexual frustration and anger? Its starting to make me see him as less manly and I keep thinking I want a real man! I love him and want this to work, why can’t he just throw we around a bit more and have sex more. I don’t understand why this is so hard for him? Thanks, I hope someone replies!

]]> By: Chris Baird Peper http://www.projecthappilyeverafter.com/2010/04/are-you-bored-in-bed/comment-page-1/#comment-17962 Chris Baird Peper Thu, 18 Nov 2010 10:14:24 +0000 http://www.projecthappilyeverafter.com/?p=3749#comment-17962 Part of the reason Americans are so bored in bed is there is a strong puritan streak running down from the early ages of the country. It is funny how those who are the most “pure” also happen to be the most pro-war and pro-prison industrial complex. Hmm… Part of the reason Americans are so bored in bed is there is a strong puritan streak running down from the early ages of the country. It is funny how those who are the most “pure” also happen to be the most pro-war and pro-prison industrial complex. Hmm…

]]> By: Katie http://www.projecthappilyeverafter.com/2010/04/are-you-bored-in-bed/comment-page-1/#comment-7787 Katie Tue, 27 Apr 2010 19:45:49 +0000 http://www.projecthappilyeverafter.com/?p=3749#comment-7787 I just want to say, that I am not married, but I think this blog, and all these suggestions are wonderful for people in long term relationships as well. I get so bored in LTR's, that I don't even get to the point of marriage bc if things are so boring when you aren't married, why the heck would I want to get married? So, all this is quite helpful, thanks everyone! I just want to say, that I am not married, but I think this blog, and all these suggestions are wonderful for people in long term relationships as well. I get so bored in LTR’s, that I don’t even get to the point of marriage bc if things are so boring when you aren’t married, why the heck would I want to get married? So, all this is quite helpful, thanks everyone!

]]> By: John Wilder http://www.projecthappilyeverafter.com/2010/04/are-you-bored-in-bed/comment-page-1/#comment-7399 John Wilder Mon, 12 Apr 2010 17:42:53 +0000 http://www.projecthappilyeverafter.com/?p=3749#comment-7399 I am also a sexual coach as well in case you feel the need. In the meantime, you can go to my blog and go into the archives to read a bunch of sexual how to articles for free. They are chapter excerpts from my soon to be finished book entitled: Sexual Education for Adults, Secrets to Amazing Sex and Happily Ever After Too. Blessings on you and yours John Wilder I am also a sexual coach as well in case you feel the need. In the meantime, you can go to my blog and go into the archives to read a bunch of sexual how to articles for free. They are chapter excerpts from my soon to be finished book entitled: Sexual Education for Adults, Secrets to Amazing Sex and Happily Ever After Too.

Blessings on you and yours
John Wilder

]]> By: Marissa http://www.projecthappilyeverafter.com/2010/04/are-you-bored-in-bed/comment-page-1/#comment-7381 Marissa Mon, 12 Apr 2010 14:20:13 +0000 http://www.projecthappilyeverafter.com/?p=3749#comment-7381 John, I'm game for anything.I will look into that. We are (and by we in this instance I mean I am) looking for a sex therapist/counselor as well. I know my husband and I have what it takes to make a marriage work - we just don't know how to use it. yet. I feel like we lack follow through in our methods... we try something that seems to be working, and then, since it was working, it falls off the list of priorities.... and then is tagged "something that didn't work" alas.... time and patience.... John,
I’m game for anything.I will look into that. We are (and by we in this instance I mean I am) looking for a sex therapist/counselor as well. I know my husband and I have what it takes to make a marriage work – we just don’t know how to use it. yet.

I feel like we lack follow through in our methods… we try something that seems to be working, and then, since it was working, it falls off the list of priorities…. and then is tagged “something that didn’t work”

alas…. time and patience….

]]> By: John Wilder http://www.projecthappilyeverafter.com/2010/04/are-you-bored-in-bed/comment-page-1/#comment-7369 John Wilder Mon, 12 Apr 2010 04:59:00 +0000 http://www.projecthappilyeverafter.com/?p=3749#comment-7369 Marissa, please don't take this as self serving or trying to drum up business for myself. I would really encourage you to search out a marriage coach rather than a marriage counselor. Traditional marriage counselors have a 75% failure rate. You don't have to take my word for it, talk to friends and acquaintenances and relatives. The reason is that they have you come back once a week for weeks and months. They don't teach you conflict resolution skills. They have you talk about feelings. Marriage coaches work as a mediator, has multi hour sessions where real progress is made and the coach concentrates on resolving problems. Research it for yourself on line. Just saying Blessings on you and yours John Wilder .-= John Wilder´s last blog ..<a href="http://marriagecoach1.wordpress.com/2010/04/10/sexual-advice-for-single-men/" rel="nofollow">Sexual Advice For Single Men</a> =-. Marissa, please don’t take this as self serving or trying to drum up business for myself. I would really encourage you to search out a marriage coach rather than a marriage counselor. Traditional marriage counselors have a 75% failure rate.

You don’t have to take my word for it, talk to friends and acquaintenances and relatives. The reason is that they have you come back once a week for weeks and months. They don’t teach you conflict resolution skills. They have you talk about feelings.

Marriage coaches work as a mediator, has multi hour sessions where real progress is made and the coach concentrates on resolving problems.

Research it for yourself on line. Just saying

Blessings on you and yours
John Wilder
.-= John Wilder´s last blog ..Sexual Advice For Single Men =-.

]]> By: Marissa http://www.projecthappilyeverafter.com/2010/04/are-you-bored-in-bed/comment-page-1/#comment-7368 Marissa Mon, 12 Apr 2010 04:21:25 +0000 http://www.projecthappilyeverafter.com/?p=3749#comment-7368 exhaustion in my case is ... moving our household into a new space while he is at work, and a 2 1/2 year old in tow.... and school to become a doula. I want to thank you for your encouragement though. I'm sorting out personal issues with to professionals now, and hoping for improvements... i realize it will take time. but today I'm hopeful! exhaustion in my case is … moving our household into a new space while he is at work, and a 2 1/2 year old in tow…. and school to become a doula.

I want to thank you for your encouragement though. I’m sorting out personal issues with to professionals now, and hoping for improvements… i realize it will take time. but today I’m hopeful!

]]> By: John Wilder http://www.projecthappilyeverafter.com/2010/04/are-you-bored-in-bed/comment-page-1/#comment-7363 John Wilder Mon, 12 Apr 2010 01:38:54 +0000 http://www.projecthappilyeverafter.com/?p=3749#comment-7363 Hey Landschooner, can I offer you a ray of hope. I would be glad to give you some time and have the wife or you and the wife talk to me. Its what I do, if I can't make a difference, there will be no charge. I throw it out there if you want to avail yourself of it. Best Wishes John Wilder .-= John Wilder´s last blog ..<a href="http://marriagecoach1.wordpress.com/2010/04/10/sexual-advice-for-single-men/" rel="nofollow">Sexual Advice For Single Men</a> =-. Hey Landschooner, can I offer you a ray of hope. I would be glad to give you some time and have the wife or you and the wife talk to me. Its what I do, if I can’t make a difference, there will be no charge. I throw it out there if you want to avail yourself of it.

Best Wishes
John Wilder
.-= John Wilder´s last blog ..Sexual Advice For Single Men =-.

]]> By: landschooner http://www.projecthappilyeverafter.com/2010/04/are-you-bored-in-bed/comment-page-1/#comment-7360 landschooner Sun, 11 Apr 2010 23:46:39 +0000 http://www.projecthappilyeverafter.com/?p=3749#comment-7360 Add romance to your daily life, particularly if you want your partner to become more interested in sexual intimacy. If you don’t know how to do that, simply ask your wife or husband for his or her top 10 suggestions! She or he will be more than happy to share. I do agree with this even though it hasn't worked at all in my marriage. Quite the opposite, actually. Fills my wife's love tank. She is happy and satisfied with romance alone, so I must be also right? What more do we need than romance and what does sex have to do with romance? There is no correlation in her mind. NONE. That being said, from all I've read, the advice above I believe is generally true and good advice. I guess I'm writing just to give warning that it isn't a guaranteed formula. (I know it wasn' t presented as guaranteed) A happy wife who feels cherished and romanced isn't always forthcoming in the bedroom even without any abuse in her history. Some women just aren't much interested in sex. Add romance to your daily life, particularly if you want your partner to become more interested in sexual intimacy. If you don’t know how to do that, simply ask your wife or husband for his or her top 10 suggestions! She or he will be more than happy to share.

I do agree with this even though it hasn’t worked at all in my marriage. Quite the opposite, actually. Fills my wife’s love tank. She is happy and satisfied with romance alone, so I must be also right? What more do we need than romance and what does sex have to do with romance? There is no correlation in her mind. NONE. That being said, from all I’ve read, the advice above I believe is generally true and good advice. I guess I’m writing just to give warning that it isn’t a guaranteed formula. (I know it wasn’ t presented as guaranteed) A happy wife who feels cherished and romanced isn’t always forthcoming in the bedroom even without any abuse in her history. Some women just aren’t much interested in sex.

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