Comments on: The Last Day Principle

By: OneHotTamale25

OneHotTamale25 — Tue, 16 Mar 2010 09:15:39 +0000

Alisa,

I am certain wherever Jeff rests he rests with the knowledge that you sincerely appreciate the contributions he made to your life. From the way you spoke of him, it seems he would know that whether he acknowledged the insight or not. Furthermore, it seems as though he enjoyed being a help as much as you appreciated being on the receiving end of it.

If I take away nothing else from losing friends/loved ones in this life, I take away the one you pointed out at the end: any day can be anyone’s last. A post such as this brings great perspective to the importance of relationships and the value of the time we have on this side of existence. Thank you for sharing, and I hope even as you grieve his loss you celebrate his life.

By: Jennifer Margulis

Jennifer Margulis — Thu, 11 Mar 2010 05:56:04 +0000

I’m sorry you lost such an important mentor, Alisa.

When my grandmother died and I was only 9 years old I learned that my mother, who had green eyes like her mother and like me, loved her mom a lot despite all the hurt and pain she caused her as a child. I don’t think that’s really what you’re asking but it is what came to mind as I was reading this post.
.-= Jennifer Margulis´s last blog ..New Article on Swiss Travel Writer Ella Maillart =-.

By: Julie Roads

Julie Roads — Sun, 07 Mar 2010 19:19:28 +0000

Beautiful, Alisa. And, by the way – you are a wonderful mentor and colleague and FRIEND to me. I’m so grateful and happy to know you…can’t wait to see you in a few weeks.
.-= Julie Roads´s last blog ..Quite dirty, Quite hilarious =-.

By: groovygranny

groovygranny — Sun, 07 Mar 2010 15:02:37 +0000

A mentor knows the result of his/her mentoring by witnesses the bloosoming of the mentee. I can think of no greater satisfaction and pleasure than “seeing” the success of the person so mentored. Yes, a note or a word of thanks is a good response and reflects the gratitude of the mentee. His or her success accomplishes even more.

At my age, I am determined to “pass on” the “gifts of encouragement” I was blessed to receive to the next generation. Acceptance, encouragement, and assistance builds obligation and it can be paid forward: Alisa says it well–help and mentor others whenever possible.

By: Elisa

Elisa — Sun, 07 Mar 2010 07:24:19 +0000

Alisa, I’m sorry for your loss.
I too am shy and often wonder If I tell my loved ones how I feel. I will start with telling you Alisa thank you, for this wonderful blog you have, because you are a mentor to many of us, including myself.

And you have two wonderful lessons here. And like Alexandra said, we can all incorporate that into our lives.

Elisa
.-= Elisa´s last blog ..First Photo Session =-.

By: Kate

Kate — Sun, 07 Mar 2010 06:05:44 +0000

I’m so sorry that you lost your friend and mentor. It’s sad and makes us feel lonely. I lost mine this past fall. I only knew him for two years but it was the right time for me in my professional life, and we had a good friendship, also. One of the last times we saw each other he told me what a great job I was doing with my little band program–and since he led one of the best programs in our region for thirty years, that statement still means a great deal to me. Now, every time I replace a pad or teach a young student how to play the trombone or how to march, I think of him. What he taught me I teach back to my students. I really wish I had had a beer with him and told him how grateful I was. But I think he knew. When my husband gets home from his trip tomorrow, I’m going to defy this “terminal illness” and have a beer with him and talk about whatever we want to talk about, and tell him I’m grateful for what he does for me and our family.

By: Maureen

Maureen — Sun, 07 Mar 2010 05:57:49 +0000

I had never thought about all these things till I took a personal development course. Our assignment, for one week, was to live our life as if it were the last one we had before we died. It was an amazing week and I try to keep it in the back of my head all the time.
Great post and I am so sorry for your loss Alisa. I am positive your actions thanked him a million times more than any words you might’ve used. But I’m equally positive you probably spoke them.
.-= Maureen´s last blog .. =-.

By: Al Bredenberg

Al Bredenberg — Sun, 07 Mar 2010 04:17:22 +0000

Alisa – Thanks for sharing your memories and for being at the memorial program today. Jeff was my brother, and I am very moved to learn what a positive effect he had on so many lives.
.-= Al Bredenberg´s last blog ..Jeff Bredenberg of Oreland, Pa., has died, March 2, 2010 =-.

By: Kathy

Kathy — Sun, 07 Mar 2010 03:44:27 +0000

Alisa, I’m sorry for your loss. And I’m sure you thanked Jeff in many ways over the years that you knew him. Maybe not in words, but by your actions.

In my opinion, you are a mentor. You share your life with your blog to many and many learn from your words. I know you’ve helped me since I started reading your blog.

I personally try not to think about death. My mother died when I was 21, she was only 50. I have passed the age she was when she was diagnosed with breast cancer. That was a very scary birthday for me. But also a relief. I am still cancer free and very thankful for that.

From your blogs and from my counseling, I’ve learned to love my husband. And I let him know each day by my actions that I do love him. We’re not so much into the words as the act of showing our love with kisses, silliness, home cooked meals, clean laundry, etc. And I’m sure you do similar for your family.

By: Alexandra

Alexandra — Sun, 07 Mar 2010 02:39:14 +0000

What a powerful post! Here’s my husband Sven with a response: “We all ask ourselves these same questions, I think, and try to cope with it as best we can. Some of the people who have passed we honor by trying to live the same way they did. At my age, 72, a lot of the people I admired are dead. But, in some ways, they are always with me. Sometimes, mentally, but more often I feel their spirits guiding me. This in itself can be a comfort, realizing, for instance, that I am part of my mother, the good side in me, I mean.”

Sorry to hear about your loss, Alisa, of this mentor and friend. What have I learned from the passing of others? As you know, I home-cared my elderly mom. Her last months were a revelation. I learned not to fear death, because she was visited, on a regular basis, by the spirits of deceased friends and family, stuff modern science does not admit as possible, and yet I know she was not hallucinating. I lived this experience as a gift.

I particularly liked the two lessons you learned from Jeff’s passing and thank you, especially, for the reminder in #2, which we can all incorporate into our daily lives.