In the comments of my recent “Life is a Struggle” post, Matt suggested I write a post about the good events in my life. What did I go and do after reading that comment? I wrote a post about peeing blood and ending up in the ER.
Matt must think that I’m an eternal negative thinker.
Which is probably not far from the truth.
I do love obsessing about and writing about the problems in my life, mostly because you all tell me that my every day train wrecks make you feel normal and help you to laugh. As a journalist, I was trained to believe that conflict was interesting and that happy, positive things were a yawn waiting to happen.
Yet, I do believe that Matt’s suggestion was a good one. My life is not 100 percent struggle. For every hard moment, there is often a surprise gift, too. And by cherishing the gifts in my life, it’s a lot easier to put up with the struggles. In the past couple of weeks, I’ve experienced the following gifts.
- A reporter from USA Today emailed me the other week and asked whether I would be interested in being interviewed for a Valentine’s Day story. Uh, do all toddlers have sticky fingers? Of course I was interested! I don’t know FOR SURE whether or not I got quoted, but the story is scheduled to run this Wednesday. I’ll post the link when it does.
- My most recent co-authored book Back to Life After a Heart Crisis debuted yesterday and instantly shot up to the Top 100 on amazon (for good reason, I might add. It’s a great book that deals with the emotional side of heart disease). The book’s main authors are scheduled to appear on 5 major TV shows this week. These things always make me happy, not just because I might eventually earn royalties off the book, but also because it reminds me that I actually do know what I’m doing when it comes to my career.
- I finally got home to Pennsylvania after getting stuck in Nashville for an extra day due to bad weather!
- My husband picked me up at the airport. When I saw him, I hugged him and it felt good. This feeling happy to see him has not always been the case, as my long time readers already know.
- During the drive home, my husband said, “Aren’t you going to ask me how my weekend was?” Whenever I ask my husband that question, he replies, “fine,” which is why I rarely ever remember to ask it anymore. So I asked, “So how was your weekend?” I learned that our daughter threw up all over her bed three different times Thursday night. After he washed all of her sheets and disinfected the bathroom, he started throwing up, too. Right around that time, it snowed 6 inches and he ended up having to alternate his trips to the bathroom with shoveling the walkway and doing the laundry. “I didn’t tell you because I didn’t want you to worry,” he said. Is he a keeper or what? More important, I have to say, it always makes me feel better when I learn that I did not have to deal with one of those parenting nightmares. Phew! Glad I was out of town for that one!
- My husband and I are in the midst of one of the worst cash-flow crises we’ve ever had. Our checking account is perilously close to zero and it’s going to go into negative digits when my daughter’s school takes it’s weekly $185 auto-payment. (And, yes, I truly can’t wait until she’s in public school next year!) I called our brokerage firm and recounted this sad news, asking my broker whether I should sell Apple or Amazon in order to get some emergency cash. If you know nothing about investing, you should know this: selling either of those companies would be a big, big ouch right now. They are both rated “strong holds” as their stock prices are both expected to climb in the coming year. Selling now is like buying a house right before the real estate implosion. My broker told me, “Do you know that you have $3000 in your money market?” I said, “Em, no. I didn’t know that.” He cut me a check for $2500 and now we are in the black without selling either stock. All I can say about that is this: God loves me, and I love my broker.
- I love my husband more than I love my broker, though. I love my friends, too. I also love what I do for a living. I have a gigantic support network—even if I don’t tap that network as often as I should. Not all of this was the case just a few years ago. For this, I am thankful.
- Whenever I think about my daughter, I smile.
I could go on, but I think what I’ve written so far will make Matt happy. Matt, is this true? How about the rest of you? How does your life rock? What blessings are you overlooking? What can you feel good about?
Copyright 2010 Project Happily Ever After
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{ 15 comments… read them below or add one }
This is a truly wonderful post, one of your best ever! I’m a naturally positive person, but lately, I’ve found it harder to stay that way. I think living in the moment itself and just being grateful for it–whatever it is–helps a lot; but life is tough and sometimes it sucks. I’m grateful for this post today because it’s reminded me of how blessed I am. I’m so glad you enjoyed your trip, made it home safely, missed out on the vomit (I cannot handle vomit–of any kind, from anyone–even if it was my [future] kid–No!), was glad to see your husband (amazing accomplishment really, I can understand it), and of course, didn’t go in the red by being cut a sweet check for $2500–that helps too! You really are very blessed, as we all are, even if it’s difficult to recognize it all the time. I hope you have a great week and thanks for sharing this!
Many Blessings,
-Sarah Liz
Wow! Thanks for the post! I’m always happy to hear about the positive things in peoples lives! I hope I didn’t offend you by my last comment. Everyone can sympathize with having a bad day, week, or year.
I really enjoy your blog, and I hope that I wasn’t to forward in my post. We all need some help seeing the good things in our lives every now and then. Thanks for sharing the good things in your life!
Also, thanks for checking out the Blog! I’m just getting started and I’m not much of a writer, but I make up for it with my passion! Please feel free to e-mail me with any suggestion or advice if you would like!
PS: Speaking of positive, you made my day by talking about me in this post!!! Thanks for that!
Matt–you didn’t offend me at all. I thought you made a good point, and I wanted to give you credit for it.
Great post, Alisa. I feel grateful for life every day. At the same time I divorced my husband in France, two fellow mothers at the International School attended by my kids, both women about to get a divorce, died. One had a heart attack in her kitchen. The other was murdered by her husband’s mistress and buried in their garden. This, unfortunately, is not a joke. It happened. So I have always felt lucky that my divorce only ended in heartbreak. Life is so very precious. We need to try and enjoy every moment.
My hubby and I have rekindled our relationship. Nope, not with sex. Bummer, tho. But with old fashioned caring. I had surgery last week. With the mind set I’ve been in, I didn’t even think he’d want to go with me to Tampa, FL for the surgery (best surgeon in the world for what I needed done). When I was working on scheduling the appointment he said he wanted to go with me. I looked at him and said “Why?”. He looked at me with the “duh” expression and replied “you’re having surgery”. Me: “Oh”. And thinking, wow, he really does care. Yes, he went and he took wonderful care of me. And drove the entire 18 hours home. I shared some of the driving there.
So now my life rocks because my hubby and I are closer than we’ve been in months, the horrible symptoms of my condition are going away (I’m sleeping for the first time in 3 – 4 years), my daughter is coming for a visit on Thursday (been over a year since we’ve seen each other), I’m meeting and making women friends and having a blast with them, and I’m nearly done with my counseling.
So much is looking up right now. But I know there will be struggles. It’s supposed to snow on Thursday when my daughter flies into town – Ugh! But I get 5 glorious days with her alone, since hubby is away on business.
Alisa, forget about your money market account, again. That way you won’t dip into when you think you need to. LOL!!!
My life rocks in so many ways.
I took a lot of wrong turns growing up. At 19 I was into hards drugs and binge drinking. I lacked ambition and confidence. I was going NO WHERE.
Somehow (I’ll spare you the details), I ended up here. I’m going to college for something that I’m really excited about: environmental engineering. As a result of being both passionate and intelligent, there are lots of doors opening for me. I’ll graduate in the spring with an impressive GPA and an acceptance letter to an outstanding graduate school.
At 29, I have learned to love my imperfections. I’m beautiful because of all the uniqueness that is me–inside and out. I’m comfortable in my own skin and with who I am.
I’m healthy! I have no physical or mental limitations.
My labrador puppy is curled up next to me on the futon while I’m writing this and it makes my heart smile.
Hi Alisa, thanks for the post! Matt was super excited to tell me about your interaction today, so I had to check it out
Great thoughts- its tough to stay positive amongst the madness sometimes, but its definitely a good habit to get into. We started following your blog right when you took your vacation (bad timing) so we hadn’t had a chance to comment much as of yet, but thanks for visiting!
I was interested in the whole mentality behind “conflict is interesting, happy positive thoughts are boring.” I understand that as a journalist you are taught that conflict sells -just look at the daily headlines- but I truly feel that when you look for negativity, it becomes all that you see. Whats beautiful is that this works in reverse just as well- the more we look for positivity and acknowledge these things, the more positivity manifests in our lives.
My question is, what is it in our society that makes positivity so gosh darn boring???
I’d love to hear more of your thoughts on this and your experience with this idea. Thanks again, and great to “meet” you! ~Meg
My husband is asleep in the next room and my heart bursts just knowing that he is still around. I can be wacky at times (and that’s putting it mildly!) and he still loves me and helps me to grow. That’s one thing I’m happy about.
The other is that I have been trying to watch what I eat and have lost over 13 pounds and my hubby said that he can start to see it. Compliments rock my world
All of the blessing in our lives we should be thankful. But we can learn a lot from adversity.
Hi Alisa,
welcome back. I did not know how much I love and missed ur blog until you came back. I admire your honesty and appreciate how much you are willing to share with us.
I also think we tend to overlook our blessings and concentrate on the negative-I just did that this weekend- things are definitely not as bad as we think they are. And God does love you, for sure.
I have to say I love this post. But I loved the life is a struggle post even more. Heh heh (as my 3-month-old would say).
That is too awesome about your latest book. You totally rock girl. You are such an awesome writer that I suspect it’s the ghostwriting NOT the subject matter that is making that book such a success.
Here are a few ways my life is good:
1. I went to a meeting for my 10-year-old’s school and my 3-month-old sat on my lap and cooed around the room for two hours (with a little nursing and peeing on the side) without fussing at all.
2. Every time she looks at me she crinkles her eyes and gives me a huge gummy grin.
3. My 6-year-old son gives me a hug and a kiss before I leave his kindergarten every morning and says, “Goodbye Mom, I love you.”
4. I live in a town where I can bike and walk everywhere. This weekend we went to the grocery store with our big red wagon, loaded it up with mostly locally grown vegetables, fruits from California (our neighboring state) and healthy, organic food and pushed and pulled the wagon up our hugely steep hill. The sun was shining, we were outside. Life was beautiful all the way there and all the way back.
5. My aunt is coming to visit in two weeks, staying at a hotel down the street where the kids can use the pool.
6. I know these awesome amazing people in cyberspace, like you, and get to read your excellent blog that is well written, insightful, and full of kindness.
7. I’m getting paid this week to write about a 20th century female explorer and cloth diapering, two topics near to my heart and interesting to my mind.
8. I’ve been invited to give a talk about writing to a filled auditorium at a small college that is going to remunerate me quite well for my time and trouble. Getting paid to have people listen to what I have to say, blabbermouth that I am? That really rocks. (Even though I’m worried to death, already, about flying with the baby, being professional with the baby, and juggling everything with the baby…)
First of all congrats on that interview, can’t wait for you to post that link.
Second thanks for sharing your struggles, conflicts..I have been reading your blog since Nandoism introduced me to your site. I’m hooked!
.-= Elisa´s last blog ..A French-Croatian Lemon Cake =-.
Jennifer–I thought your two topics in #7, while seemingly opposite, actually complement each other quite well. Re #8: congrats! Traveling with an infant is easier than a toddler. You’ll just need a front pack (or sling… baby wearing device) + a boob (which you have … nursing keeps them happy on the plane). Bring an extra outfit in your carry on, just in case there’s a poop explosion.
Maybe there’s a way to work her into your talk as a prop? Explaining that many freelance writers don’t give themselves maternity leave, so they find a way to work around these little beings. Or maybe audience members would agree to hold her. There’s always someone in every crowd who loves babies.
.-= Alisa Bowman´s last blog ..Life is a Struggle, a Wonderful Struggle =-.
I read this post twice before I commented. It made me look at my own life and realize all the things that have been going good around here for me and my family. My husband and I both are people who look to the negative first. We know it, but sometimes it is hard to switch your thoughts to more positive aspects.
Thanks for the wake-up!
Alisa, this post was just rad. It is such a great reminder that we can step away from the drudgery to acknowledge and celebrate the positive things that are happening in our lives. It’s okay to feel good about and enjoy this life. Crazy idea, huh?
My life rocks because:
1. I have kick-butt faith in a God who is bigger than all the storms of life. My faith helps me to remember that the storm is never the end of the story and eventually I will be lead to the calm.
2. I have an incredible man in my life who is willing admit his shortcomings, pursue change, and put up with me.
3. I have wonderful family and friends who make it a point to engage me around activities I enjoy.
4. I have an ever-growing collection of films to watch on veggie days.
5. I live in a state that is warm year-round (for the most part) so I don’t ever have to shovel snow! WOOT!
I could also go on, but I like numbers that end in 5 and 0, so I will stop there to spare you 5 more. After all, it’s your blog.