Comments on: Should she grow her hair just for him?

By: kay

kay — Sat, 08 Oct 2011 02:22:52 +0000

It seems like all you girls think that if you’re not hanging out of your clothes,your men will run away after someone who is! hehe,are you all North American/British? You can be pretty and feminine with shoulder length hair, you can be pretty and feminine without wearing your shirt halfway down your chest Yea,it takes a bit more effort and grooming (lets face it,a guy presented with a half-dressed chest sin’t going to be noticing your pretty smile, or beautifully framed eyes.)

Your men don’t want you to look cute or hot because they don’t want other men looking at you- Theresa and the person with the question,it seems like they’re controlling and lace a large amount of emphasis on controlling your physical appearance!

By: Kelsey

Kelsey — Fri, 29 Oct 2010 23:56:38 +0000

Just like many others have stated, the men they know personal and have spoken with have said they preferred long hair on women. The men around me also have told me this. The say its because they think its really feminine, and sexy. They like the way it brushes their chest when being intimate and even during cuddling. i say grow it if you know he likes it!
Kelsey´s last [type] ..How Glue In Hair Extensions Can Ruin Your Hair Like Naomi Campbell’s

By: Ron

Ron — Sat, 07 Aug 2010 20:31:41 +0000

Theresa, you are not being “heinous” at all. I hope you can work everything out for the sakes of your four children. I’m on your side, totally. If this episode was just “one more thing”, and DH is very controlling (as it seems), then you must be very firm with him. (Now, I’m assuming here that you are not talking about *yourself* as being battered.) Then, it’s time for a PFA. But if he’s just a man who has trouble controlling his emotions, you should sit down with him and just let *him* talk and talk. Let him know that his insecurity stems from lack of confidence in himself. Let him also know that love is a CHOICE, and you choose to love him, warts and all. He must know that text messages are forbidden during work hours. If he can’t trust you, you have nothing! Shut the phones and computer off when he’s at work, period. Do not respond. You need respect for what you are doing with your beautiful children, homeschooling and all!!!
On the far less serious hair issue, maybe you could work with him, and tell him in the future, you’ll consider his feelings about it. When it gets longer, ask him to help you with it. It could be your secret relaxing time. (You do enjoy pampering.) Or, all of a sudden he may decide that short hair on you is OK after all! My wife can do anything and go anywhere. and I’m pleased when she’s happy. But the one thing I’ve pleaded with her about is keeping her long hair. I’m not the worst, though. One guy I know grew a beard that his wife HATED to protest her haircut. For the last 11 years, she’s humored me and kept her locks long to very long. lol And I’m grateful, and she knows how to keep me in line. All she has to do is put two fingers up to her hair like scissors! lol All the best, Ron

By: Theresa

Theresa — Sat, 07 Aug 2010 19:37:56 +0000

I really have to apologize to everyone for my rant. I want to thank you Ron for adding some perspective…I am not heinous all the time… Just very frustrated that every issue has to revolve around him and how in some way I’ve wronged him. “why do you always need to go hither, dither, and yon while I’m at work….”. The 75 plus text messages a day. I do love him and of course I am not blameless. I just think if you found a do that makes you feel young and attractive then you know that light is gonna shine “everywhere”. I feel more adventurous… And after a new tattoo I am a wicked mess of solid endorphin rush…..so good things do come those who are open minded. Long hair or a spouse that sends you to work with one eye Twitching, broken, battered, bruised, and limping. (and you can’t wait till you do it again)

By: Ron

Ron — Sat, 07 Aug 2010 16:56:30 +0000

Wow Theresa… I am very, very sorry about the sad turn of events in your life. Now, I’m not taking your husband’s side whatsoever, but remember, men are a jumble of emotions as well, including probably a measure of grief now on his end. Basically, we are very simple. We like what we like.
I’m sure that he loves you for your heart and commitment to your family. But, he may not always express it well. Many guys do not. Among the things that he may have loved about you, and revved his engines, was the way your long hair had looked. He was not prepared for this change, or how to respond to it obviously. It’s just a fact that there are many men who really, REALLY love the fact that their gal has beautiful, flowing hair. It goes to the center of one’s heart, and we are proud and boastful of it, sometimes only to ourselves. And when it changes suddenly, sometimes we don’t deal well with the disappointment. Please know that it was only hubby’s emotions talking; he was hurt, shocked, maybe felt betrayed (irrational I realize), but it probably has very little to do with his love for you. He probably feels like a real creep right now, or soon will when he settles down, and that might be another thing that he has trouble expressing. But women should know a secret: If you marry a man who is insane about long hair, it’s a hard-wired thing that can’t be changed. The best you can do is work with such a guy. God bless. I hope that things between you improve soon, and that your grief subsides and gives way to faith and hope. Yours, Ron

By: Theresa

Theresa — Sat, 07 Aug 2010 09:38:33 +0000

I very recently ran into the same issue! (today!). I will be 44 in about a week, I had gastric bypass surgery in September and I have lost 100 lbs – after my brother was found dead on Monday….I have been struggling. My best friend/sister/cousin took me for a pedicure, haircut and color. (a little background – I have four boys 3,6,9,14 – that I homeschool and I work for a private investigator – I take medication for ADD and depression.). I love the “messy” short styles because I can look like I’ve “done” my hair with out muss or fuss. I also had it colored a beautiful coppery red, that looks fab with my tanned skin and rimless glasses. My husband threw an Armegeddon style hussy that wound him in the ER with a broken hand from punching his 350 lb gun safe. Claiming we should have discussed it. ((((?????)))) and flatly told me it shouldn’t matter how I like to wear it or how I feel about my messy new do….I should wear it like he likes it period. (because he has to look at me). I am so angry with him for picking this fight while he knows I’m still grieving. I have lost pretty much all respect for him not giving a crap how I feel, or the fact that a trip to the hair salon is a much loved treat for me. I apologize for this rambling so much….but I finally came to the conclusion, that feeling great about myself should more than make up for the loss of hair. So, I’m gonna rock my 10 sizes smaller jeans an adorable little tank (XL – not 5X) the tiny sparkle of my peridot nose stud, and the gorgeous Japanese cherry blossom tattoo (with my kids initials hidden within, because I feel younger and sexier…and after 15 years if that’s ot ok…then here’s your hat …….what’s your hurry.

By: Lisa

Lisa — Mon, 21 Jun 2010 05:13:37 +0000

I just cut my hair a week ago. It was about mid-back length and I was tired of dealing with it so I cut it VERY short. My husband has been a real douche ever since. I knew he liked long hair (he said it wasn’t quite long enough before the cut) and he knew I wanted to cut it for years. Before I made my final decision (with the help of my best friend..his sister) I asked him, “How long would you be mad at me if I cut my hair short?” He replied, “Probably until it grew back to the length I like it.” That made me hesitate and I almost reconsidered, but then he said, “I’m the reason you’ve kept it long!” That one comment was the deciding factor for me. I can’t live my life trying to keep him happy at the cost of my own happiness. Either he’ll get over it and we can move on with our lives, or he won’t and we’ll break up over a haircut. If my haircut is a deal breaker, I really think I married the wrong guy.

By: Michael

Michael — Wed, 12 May 2010 03:06:54 +0000

For the record I do not have a wife and a girlfriend. She was my girlfriend when she cut her hair and I married her later that year. Smartest thing I ever did.
.-= Michael´s last blog ..Should she get pregnant against his wishes? =-.

By: Michael

Michael — Wed, 12 May 2010 03:05:05 +0000

My girlfriend called me from the salon and said that she would like to change her hair… she just turned 40 and he hair was mid back length… but she wantedto try something shorter and donate it as well (yes, I know people have problems with these charities, but that is not the point). I suggested that she wait a week and if she still felt the same way I would support her decision. Well she decided that just above the shoulder is what she wanted and some red highlights is what she wanted. It turns out that her hair was not long enough to donate, but she was so sweet to consider it that after the styalist cut off 7.5 inches of her hair I wrote a check to the charity of my wife’s choice in her honor and took her and her much shorter hair out to dinner. So gentleman my lady is beautiful not because of the length of her hair, but because of her kind heart.
.-= Michael´s last blog ..Should she get pregnant against his wishes? =-.

By: Ron

Ron — Wed, 24 Feb 2010 18:58:16 +0000

Sounds like a bait and switch on HIS part, Michele. But you should know that lots of guys feel embarrassed admitting how much they love long hair on women. It’s perceived by some as a “gay” thing. I knew one woman who loved her long hair, went in for a trim, and on a whim, cut it pixie length and permed it! Her husband of five years, according to her, was devastated. She asked him, “Why didn’t you ever tell me that you liked it long?”
Some guys just don’t open their mouths. Women can’t read our minds! The good news, Michele, is that he must have really dug YOU despite the hair. The bad news is that now that he’s had a taste of the other side, he’s bound to be sorely disappointed. As I stated above, to some guys, tresses on women are the sexiest thing imaginable. But since you really hate it….. what can I say? Good luck deciding.