Comments on: How to Accept Defeat with Dignity

By: OneHotTamale25

OneHotTamale25 — Mon, 18 Jan 2010 06:46:25 +0000

Wow…

This entry reminds me of how truly trivial we can all be at times. My trigger is the grocery line when I want to get in and out and some *person* cuts me off at the self-checkout line. GRRRRRR!!!!! Clearly I am not graceful at these times. I will pat myself on the back and say I have improved VASTLY since my teenage years though.

By: Judy

Judy — Tue, 05 Jan 2010 16:50:22 +0000

This reminds me of being in the 10 item express line at the checkout counter and the person in front of me has 15 items. I have a “LOVE” sticker on my back windshield. It is there to remind me that I need to love others. I find this challenging at times. When I feel like I’m heading down the angry, unforgiving highway, I sometimes am able, with God’s help, to ask myself, does this really matter in the grand scheme of things? And hopefully, I answer, “Nah”. I think that my anger is born out of fear. Fear that I am being taken advantage of, fear that I will get hurt….etc. I don’t feel good when I express anger at others. I do feel good when I set boundaries so that I will not allow others to take advantage of me.

By: Michelle

Michelle — Tue, 05 Jan 2010 16:08:07 +0000

I try everyday to back down and accept defeat. I used to get really stressed out driving to work. Now I slow down to merging traffic instead of trying to out run them, I let the person in who is trying to cut in the lane instead of tailgating the car in front of me, I try really hard not to get angry at slow people in the fast lane. I do all this and when someone doesn’t show me courtesy I get angry all over again. Accepting defeat for me is very difficult but when I see that by me backing down I have made someone’s day…. well then its worth it.

By: Maureen

Maureen — Tue, 05 Jan 2010 15:03:21 +0000

OMG That is exactly what would’ve been going through my mind. Sigh…..I need to have a meditation teacher too.

By: Jenn

Jenn — Tue, 05 Jan 2010 08:47:18 +0000

I don’t practice Dharma, but I do *try* to follow Jesus’ instruction to turn the other cheek, give your cloak along with your tunic, and walk two miles for every mile you’re forced to walk one. (Of course I don’t own a cloak or a tunic, but that’s another matter…) Some days I feel great about my progress, and on other days I feel like the Lord must really be looking down on me and shaking his head in sadness. But that’s life, I suppose: a continual process of learning and growing!

By: Stephanie - Wasabimon

Stephanie - Wasabimon — Tue, 05 Jan 2010 04:54:41 +0000

Oh man! This story was intense enough that I stopped breathing in the middle. Isn’t it funny how the world likes to twiddle your temper?

By: JohnMcG

JohnMcG — Tue, 05 Jan 2010 03:42:14 +0000

I’ll be interested to read tomorrow’s post because while I agree that this is a good way to go in short-term relationships, it seems to me that there’s a tension between this and speaking your voice in long term relationships.

Maybe it’s that you truly give your loss as a gift rather than with seething resentment? I’ll be interested to find out.

By: Alisa

Alisa — Tue, 05 Jan 2010 02:37:22 +0000

Ah, Julie, my little grasshopper. Patience. All will be revealed in future posts.

By: Julie Roads

Julie Roads — Tue, 05 Jan 2010 02:21:21 +0000

oh! How I would have done the exact same thing. It’s like I need to have the last word. Oh, and to be exonerated. I don’t just have to win – I want everyone involved to bow down and declare how right I am and how wrong they are.

That looks bad on paper – and I’m willing to try your backing down ‘thing’ – but you have to admit, Alisa – this fire in our bellies has gotten us fairly far.

(Love and kisses, the little red devil on your left shoulder)

By: MarthaandMe

MarthaandMe — Tue, 05 Jan 2010 01:03:55 +0000

I totally believe in sometimes just letting the other person be stupid and have it their way (ok, probably not the way to think about it), but I would have a hard time backing down over something important where I was right and the person was wrong and it had some big impact on my life.