Why I’m a winner!
And so are you!
First, I’m sorry. So. So. So. Sorry. I love my readers and I’ve broken a promise to you all. I promised to pick a reader of the month every month.
I still haven’t picked someone for October.
I could give you a list of excuses, telling you all the reasons I performed below expectation on this promise. You know what? I hate when people do that to me—justifying their actions when a “I screwed up. I’m so sorry” would do just fine.
So I screwed up. You deserve better. I’m sorry. I love you, even if it doesn’t always seem that way!
Which brings me to a few announcements.
1. Holly won the Wired magazine subscription for this comment on the Best Marriage Advice You Ever Got post:
The best advice I’ve gotten was from a friend, who also happens to be a counselor. A big problem for me with regards to our marriage problems has been maintaining hope. Right now it feels like things have always been bad, and will always be bad. It’s hard to imagine a situation or circumstances wherein I will be happy in my marriage.
She said, ‘Happiness in life (and marriage) is all about perspective. Often all it take is one tiny thing to change, and your whole outlook shifts. This could be one tiny shift in your thinking, or perspective, or one tiny action on your part (or your spouses). So when things look bleak and hopeless, remember that that one tiny thing could even take place today, and you could find yourself feeling happy and hopeful again’.
I like to hang onto this when things are feeling hopeless. I have found it to be true. Not that the tiny thing makes the problems disappear, and not that it always lasts, but it’s so good to know there are tiny bits of hope along the way.
I did inform Holly about this a week or two ago, I just forgot to tell everyone else. She lives in Canada, so hopefully Wired will still give her the free subscription!
2. I’m going to award Marissa the $25 gift certificate to Eden Fantasys for this comment on the How to Survive the Holidays post:
I read a blog on Alexa’s site about a lap dance, she describes the strip tease part very well. http://www.realprincessdiaries.com/2009/10/the-lap-dance/
You can buy DVDs from Carmen Electra that show how http://www.aerobicstriptease.com/
And you can always youtube “strip tease”, which I believe (since I just watched 3) can very well cure you of dorkdom.
As for the costume, maybe this one http://www.amazon.com/Santas-Elf-Sexy-Green-Costume/dp/B001LT3LLE/ref=sr_1_14?ie=UTF8&s=apparel&qid=1259851273&sr=8-14 since it includes green crushed velvet-like dress with bells, cape with pom pom ties and bells, hat, cuffs, boot tops… more pieces might make for a better strip tease.
Or if you are set on Mrs Claus; http://www.amazon.com/Christmas-Womens-Costumes-Holiday-Costume/dp/B002C55XEO/ref=pd_sbs_t_6
I chose this comment because Marissa’s advice prompted me to 1) order a crap load of strip tease DVDs 2) order a sexy little number (not the ones suggested, but ones that I like very much) 3) read two blog posts by Alexa that gave me all of the how-tos that I need not to mention a reason to take a break from work so I could take care of some important business in the bedroom.
Marissa: I’ll be in touch regarding how you can claim this prize.
3. I’m going to make it up to you all by picking three readers of the month for November. This is just as well because so many of you wowed me with both the frequency and quality of your comments that it would be impossible to pick just one. Here are the winners along with their prizes. I will be contacting each of you shortly to get your mailing addresses.
The winners are:
Judy—Scrap booking software (it’s a re-gift, but it has never been opened, and it looks pretty cool if you are into scrap booking… which I’m not. Not that there is anything wrong with scrapbooking. It’s just that it’s right up there on my to-do list with darning my husband’s socks, which means it’s never gonna happen in this house in this lifetime.)
Mary—Two signed copies of my ghostwritten books. You probably won’t ever read them and I’m not the author who has the byline on the front, but, someday, if I ever make it big, they just might be collector’s items.
Natalie—A Tongue Dinger vibrating tongue ring and a “more orgasms, less work” sticker. Yes, they are both regifts, but I’m sad to part with both, which tells me that they are good regifts.
Now, for why I’m a winner
I had tears running down my cheeks when I first learned that some wonderful person had nominated Project: Happily Ever After as one of the Top Marriage Blogs of 2009. I almost peed my pants when I found out that I actually made the list. (Maybe I did pee, but only a little bit). Thank you, thank you, thank you for everyone who recommended me and voted for me.
I also cried when I learned that Ari Herzog mentioned Project: Happily Ever After in his list of 365 Top Blogs You Should Read Today. It ends up that the list only reaches 15 at the moment, but I’m listed right up there with Internet Gods Chris Brogan and Chris Garrett. (Thanks Julie for nominating me!)
I feel like there should be a brilliant closing line here. Don’t you? But I can’t think of anything else to write. So here is what I suggest. How about you leave a comment with what you think this last sentence should have been? In lieu of that, you can suggest a link to a site that you think the readers here really ought to know about. Or, you can just tell me a story that proves that, indeed, you are a winner, especially if it’s marriage related. Either way, share something about yourself so we can all get to know you better.
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- Announcing…
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Tags: reader of the month
December 10th, 2009 at 10:03 am
I’m drawing a blank. But I did finally get my dishes done. LOL!!! I’ve been avoiding them. And it helps to have a really big kitchen with a lot of counter space.
December 10th, 2009 at 10:31 am
Boy. I don’t have anything brilliant. I would have wrapped up with a cheesy:
“..and to all a good night.” or “God Bless us everyone.” or “Happy Festivus for the rest of us.”
Thanks for the mention!!! And Congrats on your win!!!
Stu´s last blog ..The Top 10 Marriage Blogs of 2009
December 10th, 2009 at 10:41 am
in the last 3 days i have seen the husband for a grand total of 10 minutes. While I was attending a function for the spouses of the higher-ups at his work, he texted me to see what he could do….
and rather than the “nothing” text back, that really would have meant “you idiot, i’ve been telling you things and asking for help for WEEKS!”
I replied that i had left my extensive To-Do list on the table…
and HE did some of it!!!
so in addition to me being a winner here, I’m a winner at home… and he’ll be a winner too as soon as i go shopping !!!
December 10th, 2009 at 4:18 pm
In the immortal words of Elvis, “Thank you…thank you very much…… (may need a rhinestone outfit, sunglasses and a high collar though, to pull it off…but then you could STRIP it off – hahahahahaha)
Love this blog…..and really…..thanks!
December 10th, 2009 at 5:28 pm
Natalie as in me? Cool!
Closing sentence… “That’s what she said.” Don’t know why. Just because I like it.
December 10th, 2009 at 9:07 pm
It’s not marriage-related, but in honor of Advent, I’m emailing my boyfriend one reason why I love him every day between December 1 and 25. And he’s starting emailing me back with his own reasons.
Congrats on all your recent accomplishments, Alisa!
December 10th, 2009 at 9:14 pm
Susan–I love that idea! And it carries over. It’s great for all couples to try.
December 10th, 2009 at 9:41 pm
Congratulations Alisa!
Don’t even ask me about ending lines, they are much harder than beginnings for me. Remember in Hotel New Hampshire where Lilly is obsessed by the last paragraph of the Great Gatsby (so we beat on something something)? And I think John Irving ends the book with sort of a riff on that paragraph, which I thought was a pretty good way to get out of the whole ending paragraph thing.
Actually, now I’m not exactly sure that that’s how the book ends, but it’s still a good idea.
December 10th, 2009 at 10:30 pm
Awesome Alisa. You rock! That’s so nice that you are awarding readers prizes and the love is coming right back to you with those fantastic nominations (you should tell your writerly friends, by the way, if you ever need me/us to vote for your blog or you or to buy you clean underwear…) xoxo, Jennifer
Jennifer Margulis´s last blog ..Founder and CEO of SheWrites.com coming to Ashland, Oregon next weekend
December 10th, 2009 at 11:22 pm
Wow, this blog is so addictive. Alisa, thank you for giving me hope in my marriage–and congrats on the nomination (I too voted for you). You make sense! Thats all I can say. After being married 7 years (yes, I’m itching) I am realizing there is much work to be done. (My husband can’t wait for me to read the directions for giving a good blow job)
With two children, your own business, the holidays, two children, a husband, two children…did I mention I am exhausted from having two children???
thanks you Alisa!!! (you make me a nicer mommy
)
December 11th, 2009 at 1:41 am
Congratulations on being the #2 Marriage Blog of 2009!! You are the absolute best, and we all were very happy to vote for you, you deserve it! You do a lot of great stuff with this blog, most all, you keep us laughing and feeling normal! So, as always, thank you for that! Isn’t it terrific to be present when your dreams come true? I think it’s awesome! I’m very happy for you, you work really hard and deserve it greatly! Ending lines? I don’t know, I should have one, but I don’t right now. I used most of my brain cells sorting a twenty pound box of paper at work this evening–but I have a job! And I am blessed! One of my blessings is knowing about this blog and putting it to use! I hope you have a fantastic week and enjoy the holiday season!
Congratulations,
-Sarah Liz
December 11th, 2009 at 8:36 am
Hi Alisa:
My wife and I have been married for 22 years, and there is never anything that we can’t or don’t talk about. One of the sujects is finances, which is why your earlier posts hit home so powerfully.
I guess the reason I’m a winner is that, whenever I have to attend a function or whatever, I look to see if it’s possible for I, my wife, and our daughter to make a family trip out of it.
While it’s true you need necessary alone and professional time, spending time with your family beats all…
December 11th, 2009 at 10:41 am
You TOTALLY deserve ALL the accolades and more! You rock!
Andi´s last blog ..17 Days of Christmas Day 1 through 3 winners
December 11th, 2009 at 7:24 pm
Congratulations, Alisa. Your blog is addictive. You deserve to win. I will vote for you. And, I loved Susan’s idea for Advent.
Alexandra´s last blog ..NStar Creates New Road Under the Power Lines
December 12th, 2009 at 2:51 am
CONGRATULATIONS!
Closing line: If these honors keep rolling in, I may have to start promoting Kleenex in my blog.
I have made the choice to commit to my marriage in this time that feels like for worse. I believe my husband’s capacity to love me celebrate me, and treat me with dignity and respect is worth sticking around to enjoy. We don’t have to live in this moment forever, and your blog reminds me of that constantly. So, I win
December 12th, 2009 at 2:59 pm
BEST COMMENT–OneHotTamele25….RIGHT ON and AMEN!!! You said it! It IS worth sticking around, it WILL get good again….even if it seems impossibly difficult at times–the ups are absolutely worth it! Good luck and hang in there! I agree, Alisa’s blog reminds me of this too!
Many Blessings,
-Sarah Liz
December 12th, 2009 at 3:00 pm
P.S. And it is absolutely a CHOICE….commitment and love and kindness…it’s a very personal, very daily (okay, sometimes hourly) CHOICE! And anyone who gets that concept is a total winner!
December 17th, 2009 at 12:32 pm
OMG! OMG! Last week…or the week before (I’ve been so busy, I can’t even remember), I got an email from you letting me know that you need my address because I’ve won something. I was sooooo overly excited! I called my husband right away and just blurted it out. His response: “What did you win?” Well of course, since I was out of town and super busy, I didn’t even think to wonder what the gift might be. So now today, I’m finally getting an opportunity to catch up on my blog reading…and NOW I see what I won! Sorry to the rest of you guys…but I GOT THE BEST GIFT!!! DON’T BE JEALOUS!!!! It will be such an honor to have books that you ghostwrote. I’ll read them and cherish them!
Thank you so much, Alisa!!!! and Congratulations on being such a wonderful and amazing writer! You deserve every award you get, and then some!!!
December 17th, 2009 at 3:31 pm
Mary–I mailed it to you Monday so you should have the special package soon. I’m glad you are excited about it!
December 18th, 2009 at 10:24 am
Alisa – I got the package last night! Are you trying to tell me something????
Just kidding! I love them! Thanks again!
December 18th, 2009 at 10:27 am
By the way, when I showed my husband, he opened the book and said, “What does that even say?” Then he closed the book. Turned and looked at the back cover, and then the front cover, and said, “Her name isn’t even on the book.” I thought it was sooo funny and I had to explain the whole ghost writing thing, which I’m certain I’ve explained to him at least two times before. HAHAHA!
December 22nd, 2009 at 8:58 pm
Hi, I’m a mom of 7 who just received a brand new washer and dryer as her Christmas gift from DH. The worst part is, I’m so excited! Whatever happened to the young teenage girl with all the hopes and dreams for her life? I don’t even know who I am anymore, and again the worst part is, I’m happy!