A Reader Participation Post
Q: I know we need more communication in our marriage, but whenever I try to bring up any issue, my husband just says “I am sorry” and then runs off. We don’t discuss how to change it, we don’t discuss what other things to try or anything. It’s like I am left hanging. Sometimes I will say, “I don’t want to hear ‘I am sorry.’ I want this to be fixed so we don’t have to talk about it anymore.” He says “I’m sorry, but I just don’t know,” and then I ask what he doesn’t know and he says, “I don’t know.”
How can someone be so full of “I don’t knows” and “I am sorry’s” when no problem is ever fixed. It’s like he is running from the problem. I can’t take any more “I am sorry’s” and “I don’t knows!” Help!
– Sick of Sorry
I thought you all did a fantastic job helping Dejected in Minnesota with her marital issue, so I decided to make these reader participation posts a regular feature. Dear readers: do you have advice for Sick of Sorry? What would you do if you were in her situation? Have you overcome this problem yourself? If so how did you do it?
Personally, I think I would sit Sick of Sorry’s husband down. I would turn off the TV and remove every single other possible distraction in the room. I would say, “I am willing to give you a blowjob, but I want to talk to you about something very important first. I am going to ask you a question. All you have to do to earn the blowjob is answer the question. But your answer is not allowed to contain the phrases ‘I’m sorry’ and ‘I don’t know.’ Here’s the question: Whenever I bring up a problem in our marriage, you tell me that you are sorry and claim that you “don’t know.” Why do you do this?”
Just me. How about you? What would you do?
A professional journalist, Alisa Bowman is the author of Project: Happily Ever After, a memoir of how she saved her marriage, and coauthor of Pitch Perfect, a must-read if you've ever had a sense of dread tie up your insides before a speech, presentation, or conversation. If you enjoyed this post, you will no doubt love her updates on Facebook and Twitter.