Comments on: How to Survive the Holidays, Part 3 http://www.projecthappilyeverafter.com/2009/12/how-to-survive-the-holidays-part-3/ Because life after "I do" isn't always so charming Thu, 09 Feb 2012 06:39:55 +0000 hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.3.1 By: Lisa http://www.projecthappilyeverafter.com/2009/12/how-to-survive-the-holidays-part-3/comment-page-1/#comment-5158 Lisa Tue, 15 Dec 2009 07:22:02 +0000 http://www.projecthappilyeverafter.com/?p=3081#comment-5158 I found that a wig kind of made it like I was another person, and I told my husband that I was going to be at a friends house, I already had dinner ready for him and I went to a friends house and changed and borrowed her car and went back to the house in it all in my "working girl attire. I knocked on my own door and my husband answered and I said "Hello! I'm Trixie, your wife hired me!" all while I pushed him away from the door and turned on the stereo that already had my "chosen" music in it! The only thing he could utter was "H-e-l-l-o Trixie!" I led him to the bedroom and lit the candles I had placed there earlier (I like nice smells too) and he just sat back and smiled and enjoyed. I still felt a little funny but....It was like I could do anything because I was Trixie! Later, he asked me when Trixie was coming over again! I found that a wig kind of made it like I was another person, and I told my husband that I was going to be at a friends house, I already had dinner ready for him and I went to a friends house and changed and borrowed her car and went back to the house in it all in my “working girl attire. I knocked on my own door and my husband answered and I said “Hello! I’m Trixie, your wife hired me!” all while I pushed him away from the door and turned on the stereo that already had my “chosen” music in it! The only thing he could utter was “H-e-l-l-o Trixie!” I led him to the bedroom and lit the candles I had placed there earlier (I like nice smells too) and he just sat back and smiled and enjoyed. I still felt a little funny but….It was like I could do anything because I was Trixie! Later, he asked me when Trixie was coming over again!

]]> By: Alisa http://www.projecthappilyeverafter.com/2009/12/how-to-survive-the-holidays-part-3/comment-page-1/#comment-5008 Alisa Sat, 05 Dec 2009 04:05:54 +0000 http://www.projecthappilyeverafter.com/?p=3081#comment-5008 Victoria--none of us are weird and we are all normal. That is my true belief. We are all different, and we are all normal. Why is the strip tease a gift? Because it's not a normal part of me. You might say that I'm rediscovering my sexuality. I'm not sure how to describe it. I can't say I was ever a prude or that I thought such things were wrong, they just weren't things that I felt comfortable doing. So the gift is that I'm finding a way to get over my discomfort. It's just as much a gift to myself as it is to him. It's not a one time thing, but definitely a one first time thing. Victoria–none of us are weird and we are all normal. That is my true belief. We are all different, and we are all normal. Why is the strip tease a gift? Because it’s not a normal part of me. You might say that I’m rediscovering my sexuality. I’m not sure how to describe it. I can’t say I was ever a prude or that I thought such things were wrong, they just weren’t things that I felt comfortable doing. So the gift is that I’m finding a way to get over my discomfort. It’s just as much a gift to myself as it is to him. It’s not a one time thing, but definitely a one first time thing.

]]> By: Kathy http://www.projecthappilyeverafter.com/2009/12/how-to-survive-the-holidays-part-3/comment-page-1/#comment-5006 Kathy Sat, 05 Dec 2009 02:45:44 +0000 http://www.projecthappilyeverafter.com/?p=3081#comment-5006 Thanks for all the advice. Much appreciated. We had sex tonight (or made love). Actually, tonight was pure sex. LOL!!! It's been a long time. How'd I get him in the mood. I had him have a glass of wine at dinner (he's had a very stressful week at work) and even tho I was very hungry when he got home from work, I let him have some relax time on Facebook and all his games there. Then while watching a show about the Grand Canyon, I let my fingers do the walking. LOL!!! We actually paused the show 10 minutes before it was over. No since in missing a more pressing situation. The show was still going to be there, but I couldn't guarantee hubby was still going to be in the mood. Thanks for all the advice. Much appreciated.

We had sex tonight (or made love). Actually, tonight was pure sex. LOL!!! It’s been a long time.

How’d I get him in the mood. I had him have a glass of wine at dinner (he’s had a very stressful week at work) and even tho I was very hungry when he got home from work, I let him have some relax time on Facebook and all his games there. Then while watching a show about the Grand Canyon, I let my fingers do the walking. LOL!!! We actually paused the show 10 minutes before it was over. No since in missing a more pressing situation. The show was still going to be there, but I couldn’t guarantee hubby was still going to be in the mood.

]]> By: Victoria http://www.projecthappilyeverafter.com/2009/12/how-to-survive-the-holidays-part-3/comment-page-1/#comment-5004 Victoria Sat, 05 Dec 2009 02:37:04 +0000 http://www.projecthappilyeverafter.com/?p=3081#comment-5004 Alisa, I love your website and truly enjoy your blog and sense of humor. I want to thank you because your stories have really made a difference in my life and marriage over the last few weeks. However, I'm confused... Why is the striptease a gift and not something you're doing on a regular basis to 1) spice up your love life, 2) turn "yourself" on, etc. I'm a 39 year old woman and I've been with my husband for almost 10 years. We have lots of sex on a regular basis and I'm still very turned on by him. Sometimes I come home and just want to do him right there and then.. so am I the exception to the rule? I guess I should also add that we don't use sex toys, or warming lotions or gadgets to get ourselves in the mood. We touch, kiss, hugs and yes spend some time with foreplay.. so we have learned what works for the other person to keep them interested. Am I weird because I enjoy having sex (long and quickies) with my husband more than doing laundry or household chores? Alisa, I love your website and truly enjoy your blog and sense of humor. I want to thank you because your stories have really made a difference in my life and marriage over the last few weeks. However, I’m confused… Why is the striptease a gift and not something you’re doing on a regular basis to 1) spice up your love life, 2) turn “yourself” on, etc. I’m a 39 year old woman and I’ve been with my husband for almost 10 years. We have lots of sex on a regular basis and I’m still very turned on by him. Sometimes I come home and just want to do him right there and then.. so am I the exception to the rule? I guess I should also add that we don’t use sex toys, or warming lotions or gadgets to get ourselves in the mood. We touch, kiss, hugs and yes spend some time with foreplay.. so we have learned what works for the other person to keep them interested. Am I weird because I enjoy having sex (long and quickies) with my husband more than doing laundry or household chores?

]]> By: Andi http://www.projecthappilyeverafter.com/2009/12/how-to-survive-the-holidays-part-3/comment-page-1/#comment-4995 Andi Fri, 04 Dec 2009 20:41:49 +0000 http://www.projecthappilyeverafter.com/?p=3081#comment-4995 Don't think I have a tip, I am a dork too. I do know that they have classes (exercise classes even) that teach this, but that would require money and time, so I hope some of the other people's suggestions above help you. As for your bits of advice, #3 changed my life years ago. I was a very unhappy person who was a total bitch. I woke up one day and said to myself, "God it is exhausting being you, are you just going to decide to be happy or what?" It was the kick in the pants I needed and I have never been happier and along with that comes the fact that everyone is responsible for their own happiness, so trying to please unhappy people will get you no where. .-= Andi´s last blog ..<a href="http://feedproxy.google.com/~r/MisadventuresWithAndi/~3/EUDht_T3ZdM/french-friday-paris-trip-questions-answered.html" rel="nofollow">French Friday – Paris trip questions answered (plus 2 winners!)</a> =-. Don’t think I have a tip, I am a dork too. I do know that they have classes (exercise classes even) that teach this, but that would require money and time, so I hope some of the other people’s suggestions above help you. As for your bits of advice, #3 changed my life years ago. I was a very unhappy person who was a total bitch. I woke up one day and said to myself, “God it is exhausting being you, are you just going to decide to be happy or what?” It was the kick in the pants I needed and I have never been happier and along with that comes the fact that everyone is responsible for their own happiness, so trying to please unhappy people will get you no where.
.-= Andi´s last blog ..French Friday – Paris trip questions answered (plus 2 winners!) =-.

]]> By: Stephenie http://www.projecthappilyeverafter.com/2009/12/how-to-survive-the-holidays-part-3/comment-page-1/#comment-4989 Stephenie Fri, 04 Dec 2009 17:04:20 +0000 http://www.projecthappilyeverafter.com/?p=3081#comment-4989 I too struggled with doing a strip tease for my husband, but was determined to get over my nerves... I discovered that the pressure of being better than anything he has ever seen was what was causing all my anxiety about the whole thing. So, I made it about me instead of him & since have been able to do a strip tease with minimal pressure. First, I like low lighting, like a couple of candles lit. Second, I put him in a place in the room where I can pretend he isn't there until towards the end. Third, having a song that I am really into & know helps with the dancing part of things. I usually burn a cd of songs starting with my favorites that way I am not pressured for time & know what order the songs are in. As for the techniques... I like to start things off with some good old dancing like I was in a club or bar, taking my clothes off as I "get hotter". Then I get into touching my self like I would never do in a club & then get down to the ground level where for me it gets much easier. When you are on the ground you can do naughtier things. This is where I go above & beyond what you might see in a strip club. I have had experience with pleasing myself & my husband always thinks that is hot. I usually finish up with a nice slowly crawl over to my husbands lap, where the party really gets started. I think that the single most thing that make me not feel like a dork is forgetting he is even there until the end. Believe me, this routine hasn't let me down yet & has always been well worth it! I have also spent some time watching videos on youtube. That helped a little to learn new things, but mostly helped me get into the mood! Remember you want to do this, so it is really about you. Like you said in your blog... You are not responsible for the happiness of others around you... So make yourself pleased during the strip tease, your husband get's the pleasure of watching & he won't be disappointed! I too struggled with doing a strip tease for my husband, but was determined to get over my nerves… I discovered that the pressure of being better than anything he has ever seen was what was causing all my anxiety about the whole thing. So, I made it about me instead of him & since have been able to do a strip tease with minimal pressure. First, I like low lighting, like a couple of candles lit. Second, I put him in a place in the room where I can pretend he isn’t there until towards the end. Third, having a song that I am really into & know helps with the dancing part of things. I usually burn a cd of songs starting with my favorites that way I am not pressured for time & know what order the songs are in. As for the techniques… I like to start things off with some good old dancing like I was in a club or bar, taking my clothes off as I “get hotter”. Then I get into touching my self like I would never do in a club & then get down to the ground level where for me it gets much easier. When you are on the ground you can do naughtier things. This is where I go above & beyond what you might see in a strip club. I have had experience with pleasing myself & my husband always thinks that is hot. I usually finish up with a nice slowly crawl over to my husbands lap, where the party really gets started. I think that the single most thing that make me not feel like a dork is forgetting he is even there until the end. Believe me, this routine hasn’t let me down yet & has always been well worth it! I have also spent some time watching videos on youtube. That helped a little to learn new things, but mostly helped me get into the mood! Remember you want to do this, so it is really about you. Like you said in your blog… You are not responsible for the happiness of others around you… So make yourself pleased during the strip tease, your husband get’s the pleasure of watching & he won’t be disappointed!

]]> By: Tera http://www.projecthappilyeverafter.com/2009/12/how-to-survive-the-holidays-part-3/comment-page-1/#comment-4988 Tera Fri, 04 Dec 2009 16:09:25 +0000 http://www.projecthappilyeverafter.com/?p=3081#comment-4988 For the costume, try 3wishes.com. Tons of great sexy stuff: http://www.3wishes.com/Christmas.asp I bought some great lingerie there to surprise my husband last year for Christmas. Kathy, you definitely need a sex toy in the bedroom. Go shopping together, or if he won't, then go shopping for yourself. My husband and I go shopping for a new toy at least once every year, especially if we find ourselves in a little bit of a rut or a dry spell. As for the strip tease: There's some classes that you can take in my area, but I imagine if you google they might have some in your area too. They even had one option of a couple's class where you and your spouse would attend. A group class would be fun for a girls night or a bachelorette. I agree with the tequila shot to combat the dork factor. I have that problem too. Also, thanks for the random bits of wisdom, especially 1, 2 & 4. Number one is totally me! I get way worked up over something that I don't really need to. I find myself getting resentful towards my husband sometimes, but it's not really his fault. #2 and #4 help with that... but sometimes the dishes just have to be done. How do you make dishes fun?? and laundry?? For the costume, try 3wishes.com. Tons of great sexy stuff:
http://www.3wishes.com/Christmas.asp
I bought some great lingerie there to surprise my husband last year for Christmas.

Kathy, you definitely need a sex toy in the bedroom. Go shopping together, or if he won’t, then go shopping for yourself. My husband and I go shopping for a new toy at least once every year, especially if we find ourselves in a little bit of a rut or a dry spell.

As for the strip tease: There’s some classes that you can take in my area, but I imagine if you google they might have some in your area too. They even had one option of a couple’s class where you and your spouse would attend. A group class would be fun for a girls night or a bachelorette. I agree with the tequila shot to combat the dork factor. I have that problem too.

Also, thanks for the random bits of wisdom, especially 1, 2 & 4. Number one is totally me! I get way worked up over something that I don’t really need to. I find myself getting resentful towards my husband sometimes, but it’s not really his fault. #2 and #4 help with that… but sometimes the dishes just have to be done. How do you make dishes fun?? and laundry??

]]> By: Cameron http://www.projecthappilyeverafter.com/2009/12/how-to-survive-the-holidays-part-3/comment-page-1/#comment-4987 Cameron Fri, 04 Dec 2009 15:05:04 +0000 http://www.projecthappilyeverafter.com/?p=3081#comment-4987 A simple oversized man's dress shirt, heels, and a fedora work for my husband! Dim the lights, start the music and work your magic. The only rule I have is that he can't touch me until I say so. That way the anticipation builds and explodes when he's finally able to get his hands on me! Kathy- My husband has severe ED, so I feel your pain. But all is not lost. Their are simple things that you can do to make him feel sexually desired and wanted. I find stroking my husbands ego, penis massage, and touch in general help. You can start the party yourself then ask him to join or simply focus on him for one night. My husband loves blow jobs, strip teases, and sexual conversation. All is not lost, just keep trying to find something that works for the both of you! A simple oversized man’s dress shirt, heels, and a fedora work for my husband! Dim the lights, start the music and work your magic. The only rule I have is that he can’t touch me until I say so. That way the anticipation builds and explodes when he’s finally able to get his hands on me!

Kathy- My husband has severe ED, so I feel your pain. But all is not lost. Their are simple things that you can do to make him feel sexually desired and wanted. I find stroking my husbands ego, penis massage, and touch in general help. You can start the party yourself then ask him to join or simply focus on him for one night. My husband loves blow jobs, strip teases, and sexual conversation. All is not lost, just keep trying to find something that works for the both of you!

]]> By: Debra http://www.projecthappilyeverafter.com/2009/12/how-to-survive-the-holidays-part-3/comment-page-1/#comment-4981 Debra Fri, 04 Dec 2009 03:10:47 +0000 http://www.projecthappilyeverafter.com/?p=3081#comment-4981 I don't have advice. I just can't stop laughing at the image of my friend Alisa dressed as Mrs. Clause doing a strip tease!!! alisa, best holiday present ever, thanks!! I don’t have advice. I just can’t stop laughing at the image of my friend Alisa dressed as Mrs. Clause doing a strip tease!!! alisa, best holiday present ever, thanks!!

]]> By: Alexandra http://www.projecthappilyeverafter.com/2009/12/how-to-survive-the-holidays-part-3/comment-page-1/#comment-4978 Alexandra Thu, 03 Dec 2009 21:32:18 +0000 http://www.projecthappilyeverafter.com/?p=3081#comment-4978 Kathy, get your husband to a urologist. And, have him to do blood work with his GP. Find out what's going on sooner, not later! Anyone in New England who chooses gift 4, check out Chez Sven's Seagull Cottage. Privacy assured. Kathy, get your husband to a urologist. And, have him to do blood work with his GP. Find out what’s going on sooner, not later!

Anyone in New England who chooses gift 4, check out Chez Sven’s Seagull Cottage. Privacy assured.

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