Note: The Wired promotion at the end of this post is now closed.
This is a post that you, my dear readers, will write. I’ll get it started, though. Many years ago, at my wedding reception, my pastor asked our guests to offer up some marriage advice. Our guests told us to “never go to bed angry.” They told my husband to always say, “Yes, Dear.” Stuff like that.
My grandmother, in her mid 80s at the time, happened to be celebrating her 60th wedding anniversary. She whispered this advice in my ear, “Patience.”
At the time, her advice was lost on me. Now, after 10 years of marriage, I totally relate. She wasn’t necessarily talking about the kind of patience one needs when one is so mad at one’s spouse that one is trying to use one’s psychic energy to get that spouse to drop dead right there on the spot. (Of course, that kind of patience is important, too).
No, she was talking about being patient enough to see the long view. Every marriage has its ups and downs. If I patiently muddled my way through the downs—without giving up hope—I’d probably eventually reach another up. That had been her experience, and, so far, it has been mine, too.
I’d love to know about the best marriage advice you’ve received. Like me, you might have heard it at your wedding. Or maybe you learned it later—from a counselor or a friend or someone else. Heck, maybe you even learned it from watching Desperate Housewives.
[Note: The Wired promotion is now closed.]
Share that advice with me and with the community here by leaving a comment. There’s a prize for the best advice. It’s a year’s subscription to Wired magazine. I know, it’s sort of an odd prize for a website about marriage and all. But I waited so long to renew my subscription that the folks at Wired got all nervous and desperate. They told me that if I renewed for another year they’d give away a free year’s subscription to anyone of my choosing.
That anyone can be you. Comment away!
A professional journalist, Alisa Bowman is the author of Project: Happily Ever After, a memoir of how she saved her marriage, and coauthor of Pitch Perfect, a must-read if you've ever had a sense of dread tie up your insides before a speech, presentation, or conversation. If you enjoyed this post, you will no doubt love her updates on Facebook and Twitter.