Comments on: How do you talk yourself through hard times? http://www.projecthappilyeverafter.com/2009/11/how-do-you-talk-yourself-through-hard-times/ Because life after "I do" isn't always so charming Thu, 09 Feb 2012 06:39:55 +0000 hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.3.1 By: Donte Covey http://www.projecthappilyeverafter.com/2009/11/how-do-you-talk-yourself-through-hard-times/comment-page-1/#comment-12576 Donte Covey Sat, 28 Aug 2010 16:52:18 +0000 http://www.projecthappilyeverafter.com/?p=2954#comment-12576 Hi, thank you for your post. You don't know how this helped me. Hi, thank you for your post. You don’t know how this helped me.

]]> By: Alisa Bowman http://www.projecthappilyeverafter.com/2009/11/how-do-you-talk-yourself-through-hard-times/comment-page-1/#comment-5030 Alisa Bowman Mon, 07 Dec 2009 12:02:15 +0000 http://www.projecthappilyeverafter.com/?p=2954#comment-5030 Michael: you do not sound pitiful! I enjoyed reading your comment. Hang in there! I wish I had advice for your situation. I think you are a good man for being so supportive to your wife. And, if it helps you to feel any better, the other night my daughter was planning "school." She gave my husband a red slip and sent him to the office. I was the "principal." I asked her what I was supposed to do with him and she whispered, "Just be Mean Mommy." .-= Alisa Bowman´s last blog ..<a href="http://feedproxy.google.com/~r/ProjectHappilyEverAfter/~3/9o-5aMAAzAk/" rel="nofollow">Help a Needy Writer</a> =-. Michael: you do not sound pitiful! I enjoyed reading your comment. Hang in there! I wish I had advice for your situation. I think you are a good man for being so supportive to your wife. And, if it helps you to feel any better, the other night my daughter was planning “school.” She gave my husband a red slip and sent him to the office. I was the “principal.” I asked her what I was supposed to do with him and she whispered, “Just be Mean Mommy.”
.-= Alisa Bowman´s last blog ..Help a Needy Writer =-.

]]> By: Michael Newmark http://www.projecthappilyeverafter.com/2009/11/how-do-you-talk-yourself-through-hard-times/comment-page-1/#comment-5028 Michael Newmark Mon, 07 Dec 2009 06:59:52 +0000 http://www.projecthappilyeverafter.com/?p=2954#comment-5028 "When I Feel Mean Mommy About to Surface"....wow, just wow. I never knew others used terms like this. I never knew about any of this others felt, I've kept it inside for so long. I hit your website tonight and ...just wow. My daughter used to call it "the Bad Man" when I'd yell at her. Although we're pretty much past that, her being 12 on Tuesday and our relationship is rock solid now. But still, others name that part of our personality too??? I'm in a celibate marriage too, to add to the pain. My wife was abused as a child so there's that. She's on Wellbutrin for depression and has been on some form of anti- depressant for years before I met her. We've been to multiple therapists and none have changed anything. I last had sex with her over a year ago (it was pretty horrible, I think, for both of us), before that it was 8 years of nothing. And I think she's beautiful and it doesn't make a bit of difference. I used to live in Chicago and was going through a divorce and I would look up at the adverts on the "el" cars and see one every day from some local school with the tag line from Eleanor Roosevelt "You must do the thing you think you cannot do" and it would get me through the day. I say that a lot to myself now. I'm sorry, this is disjoined and rambling and I sound pitiful. “When I Feel Mean Mommy About to Surface”….wow, just wow. I never knew others used terms like this. I never knew about any of this others felt, I’ve kept it inside for so long. I hit your website tonight and …just wow.

My daughter used to call it “the Bad Man” when I’d yell at her. Although we’re pretty much past that, her being 12 on Tuesday and our relationship is rock solid now. But still, others name that part of our personality too???

I’m in a celibate marriage too, to add to the pain. My wife was abused as a child so there’s that. She’s on Wellbutrin for depression and has been on some form of anti- depressant for years before I met her. We’ve been to multiple therapists and none have changed anything. I last had sex with her over a year ago (it was pretty horrible, I think, for both of us), before that it was 8 years of nothing.

And I think she’s beautiful and it doesn’t make a bit of difference. I used to live in Chicago and was going through a divorce and I would look up at the adverts on the “el” cars and see one every day from some local school with the tag line from Eleanor Roosevelt “You must do the thing you think you cannot do” and it would get me through the day.

I say that a lot to myself now.

I’m sorry, this is disjoined and rambling and I sound pitiful.

]]> By: Michael Dundas http://www.projecthappilyeverafter.com/2009/11/how-do-you-talk-yourself-through-hard-times/comment-page-1/#comment-4818 Michael Dundas Thu, 19 Nov 2009 11:39:53 +0000 http://www.projecthappilyeverafter.com/?p=2954#comment-4818 This one made me really laugh: “If I don’t do this, the Negative Voices will take over. No one wants that.” -mike .-= Michael Dundas´s last blog ..<a href="http://michaeldundas.com/2009/11/18/leadership-isnt-about-you/" rel="nofollow">Leadership isn’t about you</a> =-. This one made me really laugh:
“If I don’t do this, the Negative Voices will take over. No one wants that.”
-mike
.-= Michael Dundas´s last blog ..Leadership isn’t about you =-.

]]> By: Meredith Resnick - The Writer's [Inner] Journey http://www.projecthappilyeverafter.com/2009/11/how-do-you-talk-yourself-through-hard-times/comment-page-1/#comment-4704 Meredith Resnick - The Writer's [Inner] Journey Sat, 14 Nov 2009 05:24:07 +0000 http://www.projecthappilyeverafter.com/?p=2954#comment-4704 Alisa, I absolutely love your take on life, your sense of humor and your honesty. Your authenticity shines through. Oh, and I love this list you've created. .-= Meredith Resnick - The Writer's [Inner] Journey´s last blog ..<a href="http://writersinnerjourney.com/2009/11/the-writers-inner-journey-on-my-faith-project.html#utm_source=feed&utm_medium=feed&utm_campaign=feed" rel="nofollow">The Writer’s [Inner] Journey on My Faith Project</a> =-. Alisa, I absolutely love your take on life, your sense of humor and your honesty. Your authenticity shines through. Oh, and I love this list you’ve created.
.-= Meredith Resnick – The Writer’s [Inner] Journey´s last blog ..The Writer’s [Inner] Journey on My Faith Project =-.

]]> By: Judy http://www.projecthappilyeverafter.com/2009/11/how-do-you-talk-yourself-through-hard-times/comment-page-1/#comment-4674 Judy Thu, 12 Nov 2009 19:27:12 +0000 http://www.projecthappilyeverafter.com/?p=2954#comment-4674 I am the Queen of Negative Self-Talk. So when I am having a hard time with something (like something my husband did that is eating away at me.) and my emotions are welling up and I know I am going to get overwhelmed and head into a downward spiral.....I give it to God. I say, "OK, here it is God. I don't want it, I don't need it and I will not be a party to it. I'm putting it in your hands because I cannot deal with it. I am giving it to you. Please take care of it for me." I then take a break from whatever it is. I distract myself if possible. 9 times out of 10 I realize that it is not as bad as I thought. Sometimes, I write it all down in a letter form. Only I don't send the letter...I just keep it and sometime later, I read it again and usually see that I was over reacting. It reminds that I cannot always trust my emotions. LOVE YOUR BLOG!!!!!!!!!!! I am the Queen of Negative Self-Talk. So when I am having a hard time with something (like something my husband did that is eating away at me.) and my emotions are welling up and I know I am going to get overwhelmed and head into a downward spiral…..I give it to God. I say, “OK, here it is God. I don’t want it, I don’t need it and I will not be a party to it. I’m putting it in your hands because I cannot deal with it. I am giving it to you. Please take care of it for me.” I then take a break from whatever it is. I distract myself if possible. 9 times out of 10 I realize that it is not as bad as I thought. Sometimes, I write it all down in a letter form. Only I don’t send the letter…I just keep it and sometime later, I read it again and usually see that I was over reacting. It reminds that I cannot always trust my emotions. LOVE YOUR BLOG!!!!!!!!!!!

]]> By: Katherine http://www.projecthappilyeverafter.com/2009/11/how-do-you-talk-yourself-through-hard-times/comment-page-1/#comment-4673 Katherine Thu, 12 Nov 2009 18:41:39 +0000 http://www.projecthappilyeverafter.com/?p=2954#comment-4673 Read all the time, although I've never commented.... Mine is, "It's just NOT THAT BIG A DEAL". My husband and I have been going through some tougher-times-than-usual. Our house has always been where everyone gathers for Thanksgiving day. I started having anxiety about this a few weeks ago. I took the giant step of talking to my husband and telling him I just didn't feel like I could put on a dog-and-pony show, even if it was just for a day. You know what he said??? He said, "Then don't". It was as if a giant burden had been lifted off my shoulders. My kids are a little unhappy, but they'll get over it -- which is once again the itty-bitty positive person in me saying "It's all going to be all right". Thank you for your blog, I really enjoy it. Read all the time, although I’ve never commented….

Mine is, “It’s just NOT THAT BIG A DEAL”.

My husband and I have been going through some tougher-times-than-usual. Our house has always been where everyone gathers for Thanksgiving day. I started having anxiety about this a few weeks ago. I took the giant step of talking to my husband and telling him I just didn’t feel like I could put on a dog-and-pony show, even if it was just for a day.

You know what he said??? He said, “Then don’t”. It was as if a giant burden had been lifted off my shoulders. My kids are a little unhappy, but they’ll get over it — which is once again the itty-bitty positive person in me saying “It’s all going to be all right”.

Thank you for your blog, I really enjoy it.

]]> By: Amy L. Musgrave http://www.projecthappilyeverafter.com/2009/11/how-do-you-talk-yourself-through-hard-times/comment-page-1/#comment-4671 Amy L. Musgrave Thu, 12 Nov 2009 15:21:07 +0000 http://www.projecthappilyeverafter.com/?p=2954#comment-4671 Hi Alisa, It has been so long since I have checked this email, I have missed so many of your wonderful posts I am sure. It's odd that I decide today to finally take on the 500plus emails and this is one of the first I come across. Thank you for helping me set myself straight again, at least on the path, this is one I am saving for sure. I wish I had some helpful hints for you all, but the way I have been feeling lately all I can say is get out of bed... see what happens, oh yeah... and try you best not to crawl back into that bed, your nice hiding place (or wherever you may hide). Thank you as always, and I miss you. Amy Hi Alisa,

It has been so long since I have checked this email, I have missed so many of your wonderful posts I am sure. It’s odd that I decide today to finally take on the 500plus emails and this is one of the first I come across. Thank you for helping me set myself straight again, at least on the path, this is one I am saving for sure. I wish I had some helpful hints for you all, but the way I have been feeling lately all I can say is get out of bed… see what happens, oh yeah… and try you best not to crawl back into that bed, your nice hiding place (or wherever you may hide).

Thank you as always, and I miss you.

Amy

]]> By: dr aletta http://www.projecthappilyeverafter.com/2009/11/how-do-you-talk-yourself-through-hard-times/comment-page-1/#comment-4668 dr aletta Thu, 12 Nov 2009 03:47:45 +0000 http://www.projecthappilyeverafter.com/?p=2954#comment-4668 Cognitive Behavioral Therapy CBT is often referred to as the positive self-talk therapy. I like when you say, "...these are the types of things that this more realistic voice tells me when life feels like a struggle." More 'realistic' or more 'reasonable' are better words (instead of positive or happy) to describe the words we use when we try to respond better to that nasty negative voice bringing us down. This is my first visit to your blog. I will be back. Cognitive Behavioral Therapy CBT is often referred to as the positive self-talk therapy. I like when you say, “…these are the types of things that this more realistic voice tells me when life feels like a struggle.” More ‘realistic’ or more ‘reasonable’ are better words (instead of positive or happy) to describe the words we use when we try to respond better to that nasty negative voice bringing us down.

This is my first visit to your blog. I will be back.

]]> By: Kathy http://www.projecthappilyeverafter.com/2009/11/how-do-you-talk-yourself-through-hard-times/comment-page-1/#comment-4666 Kathy Wed, 11 Nov 2009 21:37:19 +0000 http://www.projecthappilyeverafter.com/?p=2954#comment-4666 The other day when I was mad at my hubby, I thought and then later said to my girl friend "I can't wait till I'm single again". LOL!!!! It took the sting out of what he had said to me. No, I didn't say that out loud to my hubby. That wouldn't have been nice. When life is getting me down: "Give it time". Now the really negative side of me will say, Yeah, give it time to get even more fucked up. LOL!!! “My mom told me that I got on her last nerve about 6 billion times, and I turned out all right.” My response, and your mom still has a nerve left for you to get on that one too. I love "Miss Slightly Less Negative". I think I'm your twin sister. The other day when I was mad at my hubby, I thought and then later said to my girl friend “I can’t wait till I’m single again”. LOL!!!! It took the sting out of what he had said to me. No, I didn’t say that out loud to my hubby. That wouldn’t have been nice.

When life is getting me down: “Give it time”. Now the really negative side of me will say, Yeah, give it time to get even more fucked up. LOL!!!

“My mom told me that I got on her last nerve about 6 billion times, and I turned out all right.” My response, and your mom still has a nerve left for you to get on that one too.

I love “Miss Slightly Less Negative”. I think I’m your twin sister.

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