If you believe in luck or religion or fate or destiny, it would not make any sense that these things happen to me at the worst of times. HOWEVER, if you believe that everything is a coincidence, it makes me feel less singled out. I mean…there are accidental shootings, and car jackings, and bank robberies, and fatal car accidents everyday, right? These things happen everyday to all sorts of people!

Here’s how I’ll pull my good “luck” out of it.

1. Accidental shooting – This incident helped shape my entire outlook on life. “Choose your associations wisely.” Some people say I judge people, but I say that I’m just extra careful about who I spend my time with.

2. Carjacking – Although I have some serious anxiety issues now, I feel that I’m extra careful when going places. Not only on account of myself, but also on account of my friends and family around me. ALSO, the carjacker was sentenced to 40 years in prison. He won’t be getting out until he’s 74 years old. So is that good luck for me, or bad luck for him???

3. Fatal Accident – This incident makes absolutely no sense to me. If there is a god, why would he let this poor man crash into a huge overpass pillar? Not only that, but they think he fell asleep at the wheel, or had a heart attack or something, so it’s like he had double bad luck. The “lucky” part for me is that if he wouldn’t have hit the pillar, he would’ve ran right into my car. With us both driving at 70 mph, that wouldn’t have been pretty. So again…good luck for me, or bad luck for him? or both?

By thinking that all of these incidents happened by coincidence makes me feel so much more comfortable being me. To think that a higher power has full control of things make me feel helpless. To think that I have complete control over things in my life, makes me feel overwhelmed. But to think that the world is just a big ball of intertwining coincidences…that makes me feel…alive.

Luck is just a term we use to describe our feelings. I don’t think it’s an imaginary force that sweeps over and around us at random. I also agrees that there’s no substitution for hard work.

Lee–I read both of your comments. Hang in there. Realizing that you have “stuff” to work on is the first, most important step. Now you are on the journey. Sometimes, you’ll take a step back every now and then. As long as you expect and embrace those set backs, they won’t stop you from continually moving forward. You have a very powerful story, by the way. I would encourage you to keep a journal as you work on your stuff. It’s possible that some day it could turn into a book that would inspire others.
.-= Alisa Bowman´s last blog ..A Short Guide to the Good Life =-.

I also learned to weed out the facts. We can look anything in life and say whatever we want or do whatever we want to make ourselves feel better, but if you’re not dealing with the reality of the situation, nothing gets solved, we continue to have money problems, our marriage continues to go downhill, etc. As much as the situation may suck – dealing with the facts makes it a lot simpler. “If you don’t work with the reality of a situation – reality will work against you” is one of my favorite quotes.

At one point I was also taught a brilliant method to take the fear out of reaching any goal. That was to write down the goal then under that write down potential obstacles you may encounter while working towards that goal. Under each of those obstacles list a solution/plan to work through that obstacle. You essentially continue to list obstacles then soltuions to the obstacles then obstacles of those solutions and so on (confused yet?). For me, it made the most ridiculous goal seem possible b/c the problems or obstacles were identified before I started working towards the goal so I wouldn’t get blindsided or derailed. Even better – I had a plan to work through every potential problem until I ultimately reached that goal. (learned from M. Sturgell of pdncoach.com) This method is perhaps not necessarily about making your own luck but is more about trying to “create your own opportunities.”

Truly a great article. Thanks oodles!!!

Alisa, I would have been right there with you dragging that canoe and “dropping” it into the water. LOL!!! Of course a guy probably would have had a “better” way. But as you said – you got what you wanted – the canoe in the water and that’s really all that matters. I used to pound nails into walls with the heels on my shoes – I wanted the picture hung now and I either didn’t have a hammer or I didn’t want to go find it. My pictures stayed on the walls. LOL!!!!

I agree with the points you made. Probably because that’s what I’ve been doing of late. Making my own “happiness” or “luck” or whatever you want to call it. I’ve stopped waiting for my hubby to initiate anything. I was hinting that we needed to go on vacation. Well, the hints weren’t getting thru. So, I finally said “I want us to go on vacation and we need to figure out where and what”. We’re going on vacation next week – our first in over two years.

And finding beauty in the simple things is such a joy, at least for me. I missed taking a picture of my tree when it was still fully leafed yet in full fall colors. At least I still have a picture in my head. But it was so beautiful and it made me so happy. (I grew up in Los Angeles, not a lot of fall colors. Now in TX, I get fall colors and it is so, so, so thrilling.)

Another thought invoking blog. Gotta love them.