25 Things That I’m Thankful For
- The ability to draw pictures of Phineas and Ferb whenever my daughter asks me to. This allows her to think that I’m good at something.
- My dog, when, at 5 a.m., I’m cold and decide to let him under the covers.
- Every person who has ever cooked me a meal.
- My husband, when he stands near me at a social gathering because he knows, without asking, that I feel like a big dork and that I don’t feel quite so dorky if he’s next to me.
- That my husband encourages me to write about anything that makes me happy, even if it involves writing about his man bits.
- All good babysitters, but especially the kind that are called “grandparents.”
- The delete button, especially if I use it to delete an email that I really ought not send to someone.
- Everyone who likes to read this blog and who laughs at my jokes.
- That, after years of never winning a thing, I seem to have finally turned my luck around. In just one month this fall, I won two raffles—netting me a few hundred dollars worth of sex toys and $30 worth of Tupperware.
- My neighbors, this summer, when they gave me tomatoes from their garden, especially because I did not tend our community garden as well as I should have, so weeds overtook every single thing that I’d once planted—including the tomato plants.
- The lady at FOX who taught me how to use a hair dryer.
- Tomatoes, asparagus, raspberries, blueberries and strawberries when they are in season.
- That I have retired from the job of changing diapers.
- That, whenever I tell my daughter I can’t do something “because I am an old lady,” she replies, “Mommy, you’re not an old lady! Grandma’s an old lady!”
- Whenever my husband cleans the house.
- Anyone who truly knows me, and still manages to find me endearing.
- Danskos, especially if I can afford to buy them.
- Strong cups of coffee.
- That children are so easy to bribe.
- Anyone who tells me that I don’t look my age.
- Any time no one sits next to me on the bus or on a plane.
- The invention of the iPhone app, especially the Navigation app, because now I am only lost when I can’t find my phone.
- The invention of heated car seats.
- Whenever I have a long lay over at an airport and no one is sitting in the massage chair at the Brookstone store.
- All of the people who love me, support me, keep me sane, and try to keep me from embarrassing myself in public. You know who you are.
And 25 Things That I’m Not
- Any toy that requires assembly and that requires this assembly when my husband is not home.
- Sponge Bob’s voice.
- That all of the clothes designed for little girls comes in pink, purple, sparkle, rainbow or unicorn—and that none of them come with a Transformer, Star Wars character, or a superhero on them.
- That the human vocal chords were ever designed to emit a whining sound.
- What happens to children when they do not get enough sleep.
- Any moment I start my car only to see the gas light illuminate, and especially when this happens on days when I am already running late.
- Slim fit jeans, because no woman should ever have absolute proof that her thighs are on the hefty side of things.
- That I ever started eating Fritos corn chips again.
- That children always seem to want to build something with Legos or put together jig saw puzzles before caffeine has been consumed.
- The fact that none of my clothes fit at the moment, and I have no one to blame this on but myself.
- That I seem to blurt out inappropriate things at inopportune times, and that I cannot blame this on Tourette’s or any other syndrome.
- The cost of my allergy medicine, epi pen and everything else that I need to ensure that I don’t die from accidental exposure to a wide variety of foods.
- That I’m now old enough to need dental insurance, but I don’t have it—and the government doesn’t seem to even be thinking of doing something about this.
- Any doctor who leaves me alone in the examining room wearing nothing but a blue gown for what seems like days.
- That my daughter swears I have a mustache and that my heart is two sizes too small.
- The moment I walk into a public restroom and realize that it’s not going to be a pretty experience.
- That I, without fail, seem to be destined to lose all expensive pairs of sunglasses within three months of purchase, but never to lose the cheap $5 pair with the fake rhinestones that everyone makes fun of.
- Anytime my husband is right and he knows it.
- What happens to a woman’s breasts over time.
- Whenever I look at an 18 year old and think, “Dang, what has become of me?”
- That, on the day I announced that I’d finally paid off our credit card, my husband informed me that he needed new brakes and four new tires.
- Any sales person who doesn’t understand the meaning of the words, “no thank you.”
- That indestructible plastic container that seems to encase every single children’s toy.
- Whenever something explodes in the microwave and even I have to admit that we can’t just solve the problem by getting a new microwave.
- My gas company, which asked me to be home between noon and 5 one day so they could inspect my gas line. They called at 7 p.m. and told me that they were going to have to reschedule. I never did reschedule, mostly out of spite, even though it will only hurt me if my house explodes.
What are you thankful for? What are you not so thankful for? Leave a comment.
Tweet This Post 
Facebook 
Stumble This Post
Related posts:
Related posts brought to you by Yet Another Related Posts Plugin.
Tags: gratitude
November 22nd, 2009 at 8:04 am
I can identify with so many of these! Most of all with 5 in the first list. My husband is the same way …
November 22nd, 2009 at 8:08 am
Its great to see somebody still have a lot of things to be thankful for. I always tried my self to be thankful for everything i got. Still trying to keep it that way. Regards,Chandra Wijaya
November 22nd, 2009 at 9:46 am
Funny. I have to agree on any expressions of gratitude for dogs and for any gripes about slim fit jeans … or really any jeans for that matter.
November 22nd, 2009 at 10:25 am
I am thankful for: caller ID, the new fence around our yard so our dogs can run, the fact that there are medications for rheumatoid arthritis that help my husband and daughter and new meds in development so maybe my daughter won’t have to inject herself every 2 weeks, dark chocolate, and media mail postage rate. I am not thankful for my hips, the fact that I just saw a magazine page full of junk for “face problems” and every “problem” listed was one I have, the high deductible on our health insurance which comes around to bite us every January, mud in the yard when the dogs are out, and the way my Corian sink always stains.
November 22nd, 2009 at 12:13 pm
More than anything, I’m grateful for my friends. I’ve always been fortunate in my friends — and can’t think of anything more important to be lucky about. What am I not grateful for? Taking off my damned shoes in an airport security line. It’s so hard to maintain any dignity when your feet are bare.
ruth pennebaker´s last blog ..The Upper West Side Twin
November 22nd, 2009 at 12:40 pm
About #3 on the dislike list. My mother solved this problem by shopping for me in the boys department for my t-shirts and jeans. I got my Fonzie shirt, so I was happy. And I had blue jeans, not pink or purple jeans, so, again, happy.
My dislike is the fact that girls clothing is appropriate and adorable up to 12 months and then it all looks like pre-teen wannabes for 18 months and up. That ticks me off.
November 22nd, 2009 at 1:56 pm
What am I grateful for? For being able to identify the things that make me happy, the things that don’t, and the wisdom to indulge in, or stay away, from both.
Love your lists, Alisa…can’t imagine how you came up with all of these!
November 22nd, 2009 at 4:08 pm
This list is fantastic!
I am thankful for:
1) getting to travel for my job, and bring a child with me
2) my son who wakes up in the morning with a big grin and lots of energy
3) having just had a healthy newborn
4) being totally committed to using cloth diapers (I used cloth with my 3 others as well but not with this much gusto)
5) the amazing people in Ashland who have been bringing us dinner
6) funny well-written blogs like this one where you can read about everything from blowjobs to sex toys
I’m not thankful for:
1) ever having to go on an airplane, especially after a friend of mine died in the crash over Buffalo, New York
2) my son getting up at 5:55, before sunrise, like he did this morning
3) the cars in our small town. Too many people drive! And they spew fumes into my mouth as I bike to where I need to go
4) disposable diapers that are clogging the landfills and putting human feces in ground water
5) that I never learned how to wash dishes by hand without wasting water and that I don’t know how to darn socks
6) that a lot of newspapers are going out of business but professional writers are being asked to write on the internet for free
Jennifer Margulis´s last blog ..Women Giving Birth Without Midwives
November 22nd, 2009 at 6:52 pm
I love Jennifer’s list as well as Alisa’s! I love going to yoga because it’s all about being thankful for my body and how well it serves me. Gets me out of my worried little mind!
November 22nd, 2009 at 7:27 pm
I love your lists…and totally agree with #3 on you the don’t like list. I do like someone else suggested: I buy my daughter T-shirts in the boys department. She never has to know where that Justice League shirt came from. Also, I found a great Wonder Woman, Super Girl shirt at Gap this summer.
And … why does Pottery Barn Kids only offer flowers, dots and pink for girls bedding when they offer boys Star Wars, Super Heroes and trucks?
Tiffani´s last blog ..Halloween was a crazy day …
November 22nd, 2009 at 8:02 pm
For the moat around Long Island that keeps *certain* people away from visiting us.
Claudine´s last blog ..How My Family Tried to Kill Me
November 22nd, 2009 at 8:29 pm
OMG – I love all of this – though especially #22 on the thankful list. And I feel like I know you pretty well – and I do, do, do love you dearly.
Julie Roads´s last blog ..Use this for that
November 22nd, 2009 at 9:48 pm
awesome, as usual. I’m stealing your idea for my blog. . .Love 23 on the thankful list since just this morning I suggested that our boat would be much better if it had heated seats and my husband and son snickered and smirked.
November 22nd, 2009 at 9:59 pm
Great lists. I bet your husband will not encourage you to keep using the term “man bits,” LOL.
I am thankful for my two healthy, frighteningly bright, gorgeous children. And for their dad. And for all the family members eager to take said children off our hands from time to time.
November 22nd, 2009 at 10:24 pm
I’m thankful for my puppy/dog (she’s over a year old, but hates being called a dog). She, believe it or not, got me into counseling. And it’s changed my life. Also, she’s just so dang happy, that it rubs off on me. LOL!!!
I’m thankful for my daughter. She’s all grown up now and lives in another state. But I love that she calls a few times a week, just to say “hi”. She’s one of my friends on Facebook, as long as I don’t tell too many embarrassing stories about her on her “wall”. And that she is so wise and adjusted in ways I can only hope to be some day.
I’m thankful that my hubby doesn’t bitch about things I don’t do or “forget” to do. When I’m behind on laundry, he just says he’s going to work nekked the next day. Which cracks me up. And it sure beats hearing “you don’t work outside this home, how can you possibly be behind on laundry”. Also, I have housekeeper, a personal trainer and anything I can want if I make it fit in the budget. LOL!!!
I’m thankful for my friends. Even tho they live in different states and I don’t get to see them – telephones are the next best thing to being there. The friends I’ve met over the internet. Two gals in particular – I know if I needed them, they’d be here (in my house) for me.
I’m not Thankful for my hubby’s moods. And us women get a bad rap for being “bitchey”. I truly believe my hubby is more moody/crabby than I am. Or maybe because he’s bitched at me so many times for being moody/crabby that I just don’t “behave” that way in front of him anymore. I’m not thankful for my hubby’s lack of sex-drive and his lack of interest to correct/fix it. (Thank goodness for wet dreams, that’s all I have to say. LOL!!!)
Here’s a wish, even tho this is a thankful-not thankful response. I wish I would have known what I now know about myself several years ago. I’d be in a totally different place in life. But on the thankful side, I’m glad I’ve finally learned these things about myself, so that I don’t repeat my “errors in life choices”.
November 22nd, 2009 at 11:22 pm
What I love most about this post: the balance!
November 22nd, 2009 at 11:36 pm
I’m thankful for … my family. Having work that I love. Health. And also November days that creep into the 60s.
Katherine´s last blog ..Top 3 Networking Mistakes
November 23rd, 2009 at 12:18 am
I’m thankful for not being the only one that blurts out awkward things loudly like: “stick it in” in public. I often seems to be saying that to my husband (about a dvd in the player, a pen in the bag, the kid’s passy, the juice cup) at the precise moment that the crowd goes silent.
I’m thankful for helpful friends, and family
I’m thankful for my daughter letting me put horses in her hair (pony tails)
and I’m thankful that I am feeling like my marriage is in a pretty good place these days.
November 23rd, 2009 at 9:21 am
I am thankful for my husband who has helped me learn a lot about myself; for my children who have now learned all about parenting and how it is the most difficult of all jobs that you might encounter. I am thankful for my good friend Colleen who keeps me grounded. I am thankful for my granddaughters who keep me laughing and dancing. I am thankful for all those difficult times in life when I thought I could not go on and that my heart would break, only to discover that life does indeed go on inspite of everything and I should quit being a baby about it and focus on what lesson I would take away from it. I am thankful for honest, open people. And hugs. And down time.
November 23rd, 2009 at 12:29 pm
Fun list. I’m also wondering why all girls clothing comes in pink and purple and has things like “Bad Girl” written across the bottom for 6 year-olds, in sequins no less.
Good reminder that we have so much to be thankful for…
Kristen J. Gough´s last blog ..Raspberry Chocolate Truffle Cheesecake
November 23rd, 2009 at 12:32 pm
I am thankful for a husband who may not be able to forgive me yet, but is willing to work on it–together. I am thankful that even at 37, I can still learn and become a better person. I am thankful for push up bras from Victoria’s Secret. I am thankful that even though I wanted a little girl, that God gave me 3 beautiful, healthy boys. I am thankful that God gave my sister a little girl so I can still do girly things!
I am not thankful for having to clean bathrooms, I hate that! I am not thankful that it seems my boys wear holes in their socks within 2 weeks of me buying them.
Love your blogs Alisa, glad I stumbled upon them, even if it was because of a bad time in my life.
November 23rd, 2009 at 7:20 pm
Lovely.
Right now I’m thankful for a warm house, healthy kids, and a good book.
November 24th, 2009 at 2:31 am
Great post learned a lot
November 24th, 2009 at 9:11 am
I’m thankful for my husband who is my biggest cheerleader and supporter. He’s taught me to dream big and live large. Because of him, I feel that I can do anything (and everything).
Donna Hull´s last blog ..20 Under $20: Gifts for the Traveler
November 24th, 2009 at 2:26 pm
I’m thankful for a simply awesome wife, kids that love me, a strong faith and good health. And I’m thankful that not only did your list make me snicker a bit, but your commenter’s mention of blowjobs still makes me laugh like a middle school student. I don’t ever want to lose that.
Dustin | Engaged Marriage´s last blog ..Who Reads Engaged Marriage, Anyway?
November 24th, 2009 at 2:39 pm
I am thankful for finding this blog last summer. It has changed my outlook, improved my marriage and has helped me cope with my crazy family. Every thing you write is funny and uplifting. Thanks for being who you are and for sharing it here.
November 26th, 2009 at 6:06 am
You’ve created interesting list, and the dislike list is very funny.
And I’m thankful for my husband and for the baby we are going to have in 7 months.
November 29th, 2009 at 4:39 am
“That I seem to blurt out inappropriate things at inopportune times, and that I cannot blame this on Tourette’s or any other syndrome.”
I hear you on this, sister. Yikes.
Stephanie – Wasabimon´s last blog ..What Am I Thankful For?
December 4th, 2009 at 3:55 pm
Another fabulous, thought provoking and creative list!
Andi´s last blog ..French Friday – Paris trip questions answered (plus 2 winners!)
February 12th, 2010 at 1:22 pm
Make sure you know what you want and that your requirements are met. Be specific about how many roses you require for being within the bouquet, if you prefer them to be presented wrapped in the box or in the vase; the message for the card is also being dictated by you.