1 | 2 | 3| 4
So today I was supposed to write a post about how your friends can serve as a mirror for self-discovery. I had a really brilliant take on the topic, too, if I don’t say so myself. I planned to write the post today, Sunday, because my day job has been quite demanding lately and I didn’t think I’d have time to give the post justice if I waited until Monday to write it.
But I don’t have time to write that post today.
I don’t because, as I went to sleep last night, I was thinking that my dog might be sick—the kind of sick that requires a vet visit. He hadn’t eaten all day, which is quite unusual for him. Even when I’d spiked his food with shredded cheese, he wasn’t interested. And his stomach was making all sorts of scary sounds. He’s my first dog. Before I gave birth to a human baby, he was my baby. But while in bed listening to his stomach, I can’t say I was incredibly worried about his well-being. What I was really thinking was this:
I. DON’T. HAVE. TIME. FOR. THIS.
I was thinking that my in-laws would soon be visiting and that I needed to clean my house, especially the guest room that this very dog had destroyed in a fit of anxiety more than a month ago. He’d ripped up about 15 magazines, and the pieces were in bits all over the floor and bed. Most of the other rooms of my house were in various stages of disarray, too. There was toothpaste spit all over the bathroom mirror, oil splatter all over the oven, and toys and petrified Play-doh just about everywhere.
I was thinking that I had a really demanding workweek ahead of me. I was thinking that we had almost no food left in the house—which meant that someone, probably me, would have to go to the grocery store.
I was thinking that the Discovery Channel would be at my house later in the week to film me for an upcoming segment, and that, CRAP, I really needed a hair cut. How was I going to fit THAT in?
I didn’t have time for a sick dog, not this week anyway.
As I fell asleep, I wondered if I would ever have time for a sick dog. Next week? Next month? Next year? When would I be able to fit that in?
Today I woke up with swollen glands and a stuffy nose and one of those empty sensations in my head. I thought, “I REALLY don’t have time for THIS.”
I had even less time for a sick me than I had for a sick dog.
So I just took Ocillococcinum and a generic version of the AirShield product. Zinc lozenges are next. Then will come some garlic.
I’m hoping to be cured by tomorrow.
With that sort of positive thinking, I sat down to write this post. As I started typing, though, I realized two things. 1) I couldn’t think straight, therefore I could not write a brilliant post about finding oneself. 2) I shouldn’t be trying to write at all. It’s a beautiful fall day. I mean, absolutely beautiful. It’s a Sunday. I should just be outside napping in a hammock somewhere. I don’t have a hammock. I used to own one. I’m not sure what happened to it. I could spend time wondering about that, right now, too, but I’ll just let that thought go.
Anyway, it occurred to me that I’ve been pushing myself too hard. I’ve been getting up every early and going to bed late. Now, I’m sick, and it’s entirely my fault. I should have taken better care of myself.
And I just really screwed up my tenses in the past couple of paragraphs, but I’m too sick and tired to care.
I need some rest.
I’m not going to the grocery store. I’m not cleaning the house. I’m not going to cook. My dog is still on a hunger strike. If he needs to go to the vet? My husband can take him.
I’m just going to do nothing, because nothing is what I need right now.
How about you?
Confused? Start with How to Find Yourself, Part 1.
Copyright 2009 Project Happily Ever After
No related posts.
Related posts brought to you by Yet Another Related Posts Plugin.
TAY (2)
50 Proposals (1)
Alexandra (1)
Ande Lyons (1)
Angelina Whiteney (1)
Artemisia (1)
AS (1)
ash (1)
Christine (1)
Conrad Lotz (1)
{ 14 comments… read them below or add one }
Amen! I do this very exact same thing to myself. I go and go and go and say yes to every engagement until I am so run down and thin pressed that I get sick. Then I wonder why on earth I have done this to myself. I am currently suffering a knee injury because I thought it would be a good idea to have 10-12 hour days and then dance with a hip hop group for 2 hours every night.
Moral: Take a break! You totally deserve it. Don’t forget to love yourself or your body will fight back.
I have TOTALLY been there – big plans in mind, etc. and then just decided, “nope, not going to do it, I need me time!” I am not sure of your situation but you seem to have A LOT on your plate – could you get someone to come into clean your house before the Discovery Channel and your in-laws arrive? It looks like the only way you are going to survive this is a bit of delegation! Do you have online grocery stories (worse case Safeway) where you could order groceries and have them delivered? That just leaves your hubby taking the dog to the vet and now…voila…you can take care yourself! Ok, you can tell me to shut up now, it is always so much easier to tell others what to do rather than do it for yourself!
Alisa,
I’m sorry you’re not feeling well. But at least you’re working on getting better. Bed rest and what you’re doing should get you feeling better soon.
Regarding the dog: besides time, who has the money to take the dog to the vet? Here’s my advice. I “heal” my dog without the vet (and my cats) all the time. Plain yogurt. Whenever my dog has a tummy problem I give her plain yogurt – about 1 – 2 cups (she’s 70 pounds). Fixes her every time. And since I have plain yogurt in the house, it’s no big deal. Get the organic kind if you can – no sugar since dogs shouldn’t have sugar. And all those good probiotics. Also, oatmeal or rice helps/works too. I sometimes mix the yogurt with the oatmeal.
I agree with Andi, get someone in to clean your house. And DON’T clean before they come. Sure put away anything you don’t want them to see. But DON’T clean. I swear by my housekeepers. I couldn’t live without them. LOL!!! And I’m a stay-at-home-wife with no children (she’s grown), but 2 cats and one dog. (Yes, I have to keep magazines away from the dog. She loves to shred them. And paperclips away from one of the cats.)
Take care, feel better, get rest, take a bath in baking soda (alkalizes the body), plus it’s super relaxing and get hubby to do the grocery shopping.
I saw my acupuncturist yesterday – haven’t been right (physically in so many ways), slept 8 hours last night and then took a four hour nap. Sleep is when the body heals itself. So NOTHING is very big on my list also.
Oh, poor you. It’s clear your body is telling you to slow down. Now, you need to listen! My dog has had a lot of tummy problems, and the vet told me to give her prilosec. Not sure if that’s what ails your dog, but may be worth asking about.
And I agree about getting help cleaning the house, if you can afford it. It’s money well spent!
I sure hope that after a few days of resting up, you’ll be good to go.
Nothing sounds…AWESOME! Feel better and I hope your dog feels better too.
Alisa…
God bless you! You’ve been taking care of all of us, teaching us what to try in certain situations. Now its your turn, Honey! Take that relaxing bath in baking soda, suggested above, put on your good pajamas, brush your hair and let hubby put clean sheets on the bed for you. He can make you tea and cinnamon toast before you climb in and nod off to dreamland.
I agree to allowing someone to clean the house for you. Your in-laws raised the man you love. Wouldn’t they be compassionate about your being under the weather?
Perhaps you have a nearby hotel where they could stay. Don’t go feeling guilty about that. They might not want to be in germ-city, but still want to visit. Maybe his mother would even volunteer to cook a meal or bring one in for you. You never know until you trust someone enough to share your frail moments.
This might even deepen the bond between you. After all, you’d be leaning on her for once instead of bowing in front of her pedestal. Mom-in-law is human too and needs to feel necessary.
Feel better soon, but take your time. The trick is not to teach everyone that you’re a robot or they will treat you that way! Sending my love.
Oh, take your dog to the vet and get a diagnosis. That’s why they went to school.
It will ease your mind, then you will rest better.
I second the hotel idea. I bet they might even prefer it (we older folks do like our privacy and quiet). And confiding in the mother-in-law that you are overwhelmed, worn out, and stressed is not such a bad thing either. I bet it would allow her to feel “helpful” and less “intimidated.”
Definitely been there, done that. Taking time for yourself (and that includes doing NOTHING) is not only important for you but for your family and your extended family. Often times when I get to this point (and I do get to this point) I remember that my husband is my partner, above all else. Whatever can be delegated to him, do it. Today. Good luck.
Thank you for once again being so honest. I think every woman (especially mom) has had these moments where you just have to surrender to the exhaustion and let it go. I am sorry to hear about your dog. I had the EXACT same thought of “I don’t have time for a sick dog” when our dog went on a hunger strike after the baby was born. And then he started having accidents in the house, which I REALLY didn’t have time for. What I will say is this. Our dog was at the end. Those were some of the last moments with her. What is most important right now is for you to take care of yourself first and then focus on the things that REALLY matter to you. What your hair looks like for the filming, maybe not as important. I type all of this as I too have a sore throat, feel exhausted and instead of lying down to take a nap, am trying to get in a few minutes of work while the baby naps and before my mom arrives later today! Need to go practice what I preach. Here’s to feeling better soon!
Nicola
The Executive Moms Coach
I read and appreciate all of the previous comments, but I’m sorry I actually laughed out loud simply as a sigh of relief that I am truly NOT the only one that feels this way. That I’m not less of a wife/mother/woman for feeling such feelings. Your blog truly keeps me sane. God bless you Alissa and your honesty is awesome. I do though, hope you get to feeling better and that all you have going on settles down some soon. Bye for now – C
Soooo sorry to hear you are sick Alisa! Hope you feel better very soon! BTW – loved hearing about your house…my house and your house may be a perfect match.
And, I too agree about the cleaning up on that count – my mom taught me years ago that having someone help with that is essential – it’s a small price to pay for sanity.
I hope you got to feeling better.
It is rare that we, or our loved ones (pets or people) get sick at the “right” times. In fact, when does anything happen at the “right” time? Almost nothing. Speaking of nothing, I’m so glad to hear you’re doing absolutely nothing.
It’s so important to just say “screw it,” sometimes and do NOTHING.
As a chronically ill person who’s been sick A LOT throughout my lifetime, I am well aware of the PRECIOUS GIFT that getting “sick,” can bring. Being ill is not always a horrible thing, it can be a variety of things if we allow it to: a wake-up call, a stopping point and/or a starting point. If we DO allow ourselves to STOP and REST and TRULY take care of ourselves, than that in and of itself can be a gift!
All too often, we don’t stop and rest UNTIL we are sick and/or until we are forced to, this is sad. The other gift of being chronically ill? I’ve learned to LISTEN to my body, I know how to give it what it needs, when it needs it. I’m a person who needs a lot of rest, and more sleep than the average person, and I won’t lie to you, it bothers me greatly a lot of the time. But, that’s the way it goes. So, I sleep when I need to and rest when I need to. I don’t eat foods that I know will make me sick, I don’t FORCE myself to go and go and go and go….granted, I don’t have a full time job or a child–both of which command one’s full attention, but even I did, I would still have to take the time to rest and sleep and eat right–because I don’t have any other choice. I believe that people should act like taking care of themselves (not ignoring others along the way, of course) is the only choice.
I heard something somewhere the other day about getting sick and I thought it was so true “people say they don’t have time to take care of themselves; they don’t have time to eat right, sleep at night and so on. Well, guess what? The person who just had a heart attack and is sitting in ICU, they suddenly have a lot of time on their hands, don’t they?” Bingo!
My mother had a small stroke in August and luckily, she was smart enough to use it as her wake-up call. She’s learned how to say ‘no’ to people (something she never did before, literally never), she’s cut back on smoking (though she should quit all together, but I digress), and is eating complete meals now. I’m so proud!
My point is, if we don’t take the time to ‘be sick,’ when we get sick, than we will get nothing except for sicker and sicker–whether in body, mind or spirit. And it’s all completely connected–mind–body–spirit–at least in my opinion.
Okay, so I’ve taken the extra long way around this, but, my point is….yes, Alisa, ENJOY your Sunday (even if you’re sick), take the time to rest, honor yourself, let your husband take care of everything, let your daughter smoother you with “I hope you feel better, mommy,” thoughts and do what you alone need to do. Everything will work itself out. EVERYONE gets sick occasionally, so don’t feel bad. And even something as fabulous as writing can wait when you get sick.
I do hope you feel better soon and I must say, I am very proud of you for realizing that you haven’t been taking very good care of yourself and need to do it better. We all need to take care better care of ourselves in one way or another–whether it’s physically, mentally, emotionally or spiritually, there’s always a lesson in everything–including getting sick!
I’m sending you ‘feel much better very soon’ vibes and praying for a quick recovery! Goodluck!
Many Blessings,
-Sarah Liz
P.S. The other gift of being sick is getting pampered! The well-wishes, the prayers, the get-well-energy that’s sent your way. Always a very cool thing! Plus, I think being sick (whether with a cold or a major illness) makes those around us appreciate us more. It puts things into perspective, and plus, there’s nothing wrong with asking for help and accepting the help that’s offered.
It’s amazing even when we are sick, we as mothers, parents, caregivers, still think about everything that needs to be done. We seem to put ourselves last and worry about everyone and everything else. By getting sick, sometimes that is a way to allow ourselves to relax and do nothing!! It’s rewarding when someone else takes our job….