Comments on: It’s official: I’m that soccer mom

By: Andrea

Andrea — Mon, 28 Sep 2009 17:39:00 +0000

I haven’t had to do this yet, but I can’t wait. I too am a competitive spirit. My husband and I can’t play games (Monopoly) because I’ll end up getting frustrated and upset if I lose…we can’t go running together because it irks me that he runs faster and can run further than I can…you get the point! Anyway – at least I know that on the soccer field – there will always be a kindred spirit a few miles away!

By: Linda

Linda — Sat, 26 Sep 2009 13:56:59 +0000

I agree with Eric! How are kids going to realize that in adult life, not everybody can get the job or be the president of the group or whatever they are up against someone else for if winning and losing games as a kid is softened so no one gets their feelings hurt? Sure the idea of good sportsmanship should be taught. That’s important in adult life too. When they do win as a kid, sit them down after the ice cream and get them to think about how they won. What do they think they did right? Just turn the question around if they lost the game. What do they think they could have done better-not who committed the errors so they can go to the next practice and point fingers. But, yeah, just watch those sitcoms where the sickening sweet coaches give out trophies to all the players on the losing team, nobody keeps score and the biggest competition is among the parents for who brings the best and most appropriate snack!
Get ready to gag!

By: Eric

Eric — Sat, 26 Sep 2009 11:32:37 +0000

EMBRACE your competitiveness – you act like it is a bad thing – being competitive sets you apart from others – defines who you are and teaches your child the way(s) to be successful in life. I think you have the wrong definition of competitiveness – it isnt about the other person – its an inner drive to succeed, to better yourself – you have to have something to measure yourself against, but ultimately its about being the best person you can be at whatever you tackle – effort for the sake of attaining a goal or achieving more and doing better is one of the highest things you can take on, whether its Sister Theresa wanting to help as many people as possible or John Wooden explaining to his players the very first day of practice how to put on socks, all are competitive, its just that the standard by which they are judged is different. So lighten up and enjoy your daughters special abilities and mold her in to a better person and embrace all the very wonderful lessons sports and competition have to offer – very few people have ever won every time, so you learn more from the loss or the mistake than the win…

By: Mollie S

Mollie S — Thu, 24 Sep 2009 23:48:08 +0000

I have a competitive five year old daughter who hates to lose and is unhappy about not always winning. This is what I’ve been trying to do. Focus on the fun my daughter has playing, and not the winning of a game. I don’t keep scores. Also showing her how she can be a good sport, and her learning how to say good game to the other person she is playing with instead of saying “I win, I win”. Basically teaching her how to be the kind of kid that other kids would enjoy playing with. Because when your mind is on the end result or score or win, you lose the joy and fun of the moment.

By: Linda

Linda — Thu, 24 Sep 2009 13:00:01 +0000

Take a good snack!

By: Roxanne @ Champion of My Heart

Roxanne @ Champion of My Heart — Wed, 23 Sep 2009 22:26:10 +0000

One of my friends (a novelist with several best-sellers & movie deals) always tells me that jealousy is the first step toward getting whatever it is for yourself. I’m not sure that works for me, but it’s a nice thought.

Sadly, I cannot help with the soccer thing … not being a parent or particularly competitive.

By: MarthaandMe

MarthaandMe — Wed, 23 Sep 2009 18:46:28 +0000

I love your idea of doing something nice for the person you feel jealous of. What an amazing way to take that energy and turn it around. One of my tenets is that if I have a day when I am feeling lousy I make a point to do something nice for someone else. It always cheers me up.

By: LeAnn

LeAnn — Wed, 23 Sep 2009 17:57:30 +0000

Cheering for your kid’s team is what all good soccer parents are supposed to do. Those that just sit there… well, maybe they just don’t understand how the game works.
Confession: My husband used to coach my son’s team. After the games, I used to yell at him for not doing a better job of coaching. Shameful, isn’t it?

By: Alisa

Alisa — Wed, 23 Sep 2009 16:57:10 +0000

Tiffani–you just made me feel so good about myself. I was so worried to post this particular blog, thinking that people would read it and think that I was such a bad person. I think, for me, it’s mostly the thoughts in my head that worry me–the critiquing of the coach… perhaps eventually critiquing the other players. I want to make sure those thoughts don’t ever come out of my mouth. Sometimes I so worried that other people can hear me thinking.

By: Tiffani

Tiffani — Wed, 23 Sep 2009 16:32:07 +0000

Alisa, if you have a problem, so do I.

I yell and cheer like that at my daughter’s soccer and softball games, and I don’t see anything wrong with it. I’m not yelling, “Why didn’t you score?” or “Why can’t you run faster?” I’m just encouraging her and her teammates. We even cheer for the other team when they make a good play.

I asked my 7-year-old if she wanted me to be quiet or to cheer. She told me to cheer.

How is explaining the rules of the game, especially if the coach doesn’t, bad? Why are they playing soccer if they’re not *learning* how to play?

I guess I’m too competitive, because I don’t see how wanting your child to do well in sports is a bad thing.