Comments on: 17 Happy Marriage Tips

By: Alisa

Alisa — Fri, 30 Jul 2010 00:49:08 +0000

Angel–I highly recommend meeting with a sex therapist. These people are highly trained and very comforting. Worth their weight in gold. Sometimes it takes laying it all out there with a stranger to get to the bottom of things.

By: Angel

Angel — Thu, 29 Jul 2010 05:09:52 +0000

Naomi – I couldn’t agree more!
Alisa – Your blog has given me real hope for the future of my marriage & I am So Very grateful!
These tips, as usual, are wonderful!
With the excetion of the fact that, no matter how much sex can help your relationship, if there’s no attraction, it’s out of the question. I’m still very much attracted to my husband, but we rarely have sex anymore (once every few months!), because he is no longer attracted to me. He tells me that he can see that I am still a very beautiful woman, but I just don’t turn him on, anymore. I’m sure it is a matter of him being bored, but am not sure how to fix that. We’ve had a very wild sex life for most of our relationship & it’s been amazing, but it makes it very difficult to spice things up, now that things have gotten stale! Hard to come up with new ideas, when we’ve already tried so many things, for the first time, together! (Sorry if that’s TMI – just wanted to give a perspective as a woman who isn’t getting any! Also, any suggestions would be greatly appreciated!)

By: Courtney

Courtney — Thu, 24 Sep 2009 02:24:24 +0000

I love these tips and I firmly believe in a lot of them. I would conjure up crazy ideas – fights in my head, that would probably never happen, but I was that unhappy and upset with my husband that I wanted a reason to be mad at him, even if the reason wasn’t ‘real’. Then I decided to be the bigger person and, while it’s hard, it was the only way I was going to start being happy. AND it helps A LOT and I see my hubby following suit. Thanks!

By: Kanoelani

Kanoelani — Wed, 23 Sep 2009 19:55:17 +0000

All of these tips pretty much works, I’m already doing most of it.

By: Mindy Lou

Mindy Lou — Wed, 23 Sep 2009 18:14:02 +0000

I’ll keep these in mind for when I finally take the “plunge”!! Lol

By: Naomi

Naomi — Wed, 23 Sep 2009 17:04:51 +0000

First of all, I love your blog! I’ve only found it recently, but your blog (and insight) may well be the thing that helps me save my marriage. The despair I felt is slowly dissipating as I read your blog and think, “Wow! Maybe I can save something that sometimes seems irreparable.”

As for your tips, I think they are right on. I feel like you are speaking directly to the thoughts in my head! You give me hope that I can stop thinking of my husband as an evil man that was just never right for me. I know I will have to let go of that anger at resentment at always being the one who is doing the work. This post has reminded me that though I will be doing the heavy lifting in initiating change, I will also be reaping the benefits (duh). You have hit the mark with this one.

Thank you for being brave enough to write this blog! It is real, it is insightful, it is inspiring, and it’s funny. Keep ‘em coming.

By: Julie Roads

Julie Roads — Wed, 23 Sep 2009 13:45:03 +0000

I’d add diversify. We often get sucked into our own bubble and lose ourselves and the cool things that we fell in love with about each other because our identities become ‘one’ in the day to day of live, marriage and parenthood. BUT, when one of us travels or goes out with friends or even goes off to pursue a hobby like yoga or painting, it does the relationship a world of good. I get to be ME again, and that shines through when I come home…it makes me happy, confident, passionate – and all of that just leaks all over our relationship!!!

Great list, Alisa…per usual. xox

By: Linda

Linda — Wed, 23 Sep 2009 12:24:10 +0000

Here are my notes on your tips
1-Good. Your looking and feeling good reminds spouse why they were attracted to you.
2-Each one should wake up thinking about what they can do to make life better for the other. (Dr. Phil)
3-Changing your reaction to someone can usually change their actions.
4-People are not mind readers!
5-It isn’t your spouse’s job to MAKE you happy, its your’s. People are attracted to contented and happy beings.
6-Happiness is a choice-don’t over analyze.
7-Either that or lower your expectations. Just try to respect spouse’s feelings on the matter. Don’t tell her that the dishes will wait for her.
8-Mutually agreeable sex only-sorry!
10-Yeah, Guys, realize that the baby is helpless and needs BOTH parents. Pitch in.
11-Yep! And if you make them your everything, you will be without a social life by retirement. I speak from experience.
12-That’s a toughy. Sometimes you have to be satisfied with changing something you do. See #3.
13-What if they are just tired of you talking-period?
14-I attempt to discuss-his only problem-me, talking!
15-We’ve been stagnant for years. He makes minor changes then snaps back. Marriage not going forward.
16-Yeah, ok. That works for “getting in the mood”. Nothing else.
17-Um- can’t move mountains by myself. Doesn’t a marriage mean TWO?

By: Kathleen

Kathleen — Wed, 23 Sep 2009 03:14:54 +0000

I think there’s a lot of wisdom in this list. I especially liked #3 — saving a marriage is hard and uncomfortable work, and that’s why so few people are willing to do it. It seems that we North Americans tend to believe that marriage should be magical from beginning to end, or else it’s not worth it.

What I appreciate most about your blog in general is your emphasis on the fact that marriage often sucks, but that’s OK. It’s normal and healthy for relationships to occasionally suck. I appreciate your realism, especially as it is delightfully bound up with humour and hope. Loving the site.

By: Mo

Mo — Wed, 23 Sep 2009 01:29:14 +0000

I’m blogging our Project, and I’m seeing that I can use it as just that. I just reread it tonight, and I’m seeing that remembering the good in this last week gives me hope to look for in next week and our forever… Thanks!