So I haven’t blogged about Jon and Kate because everyone else is blogging about it. I hate doing what everyone else is doing. But CNN.Com recently interviewed me on the matter. I told them that I thought people would stay tuned in to the show because seeing a marriage implode makes the rest of us current and recovering divorce daydreamers feel normal. I’m curious to know your thoughts. Please let me know if you think the rest of us can learn anything from Jon and Kate. Also, assuming you’ve ever watched the show, did you like it better when the marriage was intact or now that the marriage has dissolved? Take the poll and leave a comment.
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{ 15 comments… read them below or add one }
I stumbled on your blog while reading about J & K + 8 and apparently no amount of money can make a marriage easier, but I will probably keep watching.
Thanks so much for the blog, I plan to check in often!
I used to watch this how the first few seasons it was on, I thought it was a good show with a great story. The situation (2 parents, 8 kids) is definitely intriguing! And I do believe they really loved one another, and STILL love their child an awful lot. That’s obvious!
But, the reason I’m not going to watch anymore is not because they’re divorcing–but rather, I think a lot of us kind of saw the divorce coming–these two people were just so mean and cruel to one another towards the end, or just ignoring each other all together–and that kind of marriage can never last. IMHO, Kate got too into being a mom and John didn’t take a stand. On your blog, Alisa, you talk a lot about asking for your needs in a kind, respectful matter and keeping communication open–and these two did not do that. (Perhaps they didn’t have time.) At least on camera, maybe they did in private, but I don’t know. I hate judging anyone because I always say that the only two people who really know what goes in a relationship are the two people in it, and I do feel that way. So, I don’t blame them for divorcing, I really don’t.
I feel badly for the kids, but I honestly feel that in this case, a divorce was the best option.
HOWEVER, I REFUSE to watch this family any longer–I do believe that while their intentions are good and they love their kids a lot, I think recording a divorce, especially when kids are involved, is NOT a good idea.
I think having TAPED RECORDS of what went on and what went down between these two parents during this MOST difficult time (in all their lives) is a disrespect to themselves, and their kids, and will harm them all in the long run.
I’m not a psychologist, but I am the daughter of a twice divorced mother–going through that as the kid was difficult enough without being in front of camera the whole time or having videos to watch over and over again to re-live it. My parents’ divorce (twice) was one of the most difficult times of my life and it’s taken me YEARS to get past it.
I cannot imagine having had the WORLD watched while I dug through all that I was feeling. If the kids were older, maybe this would be more appropiate, but even then, when parents divorce, even adult children revert into little kids again.
(But again, divorce, in the long run, doesn’t equal disaster & devastation. It can be a great thing in the long run. I think it makes you as the child of divorced parents, more responsible, more mature and much, much stronger! At least it has for me!)
What goes on between two people during a divorce (of course, unless it involves violence, then the law should be involved), is THEIR business.
There’s so much guilt, broken dreams, hurt feelings, confusion, anger, mixed emotions and so on and so forth involved in a divorce–even if/when it is the BEST option or the lesser of two evils (divorce vs. staying miserably married).
It is my belief that anyone going through a divorce (parents, kids, anyone involved) is not in the right mindset to make completely rational decisions. I’m not calling ANYONE crazy, least of all John & Kate, but as for me, I will no longer be watching this family implode upon itself.
I think both John & Kate equally contributed to their impending divorce and while I know marriage is far from easy, and I cannot imagine the sheer difficulty involved with 8 kids, I just won’t watch this show anymore.
That said….IF they come back later AFTER things are settled for a while, I might tune in. But as for now, no, I’m done.
It is my sincere hope & prayer that John & Kate will find their way through all of this and come out stronger, better and truly happier people. I hope & pray their kids will realize that this will only make them stronger and they (like I have) will learn from the marriage mistakes their parents made. I have no ill-will toward this family what so ever, and I wish them all the best!
Great topic though, thanks for the poll!
Love & Blessings Always,
-Sarah Liz
I came over here from the link at cnn.com and intend to read through your blog when I have more time, but I’ve never watched the show and probably never will; I’m just fascinated by the train wreck that it’s all become (and am surprised no one could predict it from putting two people who were apparently more focused on their children than bolstering their marriage into a reality show). I find it incredibly sad that people who have so many children (like them and the Octomom) are turning to “voluntary welfare” – any media outlet who will pay to follow them – in order to provide a specific lifestyle, and it may well be the downfall of the children if they grow up in the fickle and vicious glare of the entertainment world, thinking that the activities their father has been doing (fashion shows in France) are normal and that they’re only worth something if a camera is following them around. Hopefully TLC DOES end the show with this season’s finale and those children can pass through adolescence and into adulthood in relative obscurity.
I have watched Jon and Kate from the beginning, I believe the family dynamic and the way it has evolved is interesting. I am sure neither wanted to be in this place, but this is where they are. I still respect them for what they are doing, and the way they raise their children. I love the kiddos and so do my children, I think it’s good for kids to see the realities of marriage and to understand the story book typical TV marriage is not the reality. I love to discuss with my children and hear their intupretations of what is going on.
I’ve watched the show for years and have only recently read all the Aunt Jodi gossip. I have no idea if what I’ve watched was ever “reality” or if they created it all as the Aunt Jodi camp says. Honestly, I don’t care. I think the show depicts how very frustrating, exhausting, and thankless the job of parenting truly is. I’ve also got some fantastic organizational tips from watching the show. I can relate to how ‘snappy’ Kate sometimes is–well because children have that effect on Moms, lets face it! I know the best tip I got from that show as an episode where she was freaking out and she told her husband to ask “how can I help you?” versus “what is wrong?” when she behaves that way. We had two kids under the age of two this year, and we instituted that and its made the world of difference. Women have a hard time asking for help!
I liked it better when they appeared to be a “normal” family. In the start of the show. Where they lived in a modest home dealing with one parent working, another dealing with 8 kids. For those who have even just a few kids and one spouse works.. you were able to relate on what it was like to raise kids and how exhausted you were. I liked it When others could relate to them… Before the celebrity guest stars, fancy getaways and the limo treatments. the fact that she got a tummy tuck, that was Ok.. You wanted to cheer for kate for getting that opportunity. But then I think it took a weird spin. You knew they were making money with the show, but it was better when they weren’t throwing that money in your face. Now, they just seem like any other celebrity couple who has nanny’s and helpers and perks from endorsement deals. It’s hard to feel sorry for anyone in that situation.
Great blog, great focus…thanks for fighting for marriage. If J&K really loved their kids they’d spend less time talking about them to the cameras and spend more time in a counselors or a pastor’s office. Do they even go to church anymore? Seriously, this was one of the saddest things I’ve ever seen on television.
My wife and I pray for their family and for them as parents. It’s just so sad that those kids aren’t going to have a loving home. They’re NEVER going to heal from this. My wife is a child of divorce and she’s still dealing with it and it’s been over 25 years.
“We love our kids, that’s why we’re doing this” is such a bull**** line. I hate watching them normalize divorce and make it look like the “right” thing to do. I’m disgusted with their lifestyle, their role reversals and their relationship in general. I pray that they reconcile by becoming HUMBLE and admitting their own responsibilities for what has happened. Sadly, the biggest losers are the kids. Shame on you J&K…but mostly shame on you Jon b/c it’s your job as the man to fight for your family.
It’s NEVER too late to do the right thing and so i pray he does it. Everybody loves a great comeback story.
I will watch to see what happens in the relationship – not the marriage. I am a happily divorced mom of a 17 year old. I am also a happily married mom of a 7 and 5 year old. And my first marriage was similar to the relationship I see in Jon & Kate. He’s immature and clueless as to the longevity of having kids and she’s carrying the burden. In the end, she’ll end up a lot happier if she sticks to raising her kids. The fun with adults and/or guys will just come along! She’s not at all like I was, no money, no job and now my daughter plans to be an Occupational Therapist and she respects me for the choices I have made! It will happen for Kate & her kids too. Stay true and strong!
I don’t watch much television … so truthfully I’d never even heard of this family until they made the headlines for their troubles. I think it’s very sad … for their KIDS! I’m sure doing a show like this sounded like a good thing to do so I can’t pass judgment on them for that … but I sure hope they see now that this has been damaging to their children. Poor babies ;(
I watched the new show airing tonight as I was curious on how things would play out after the last show and the announcement of the divorce. I kept saying over and over as my hubby was sitting here watching it with me late tonight WHAT AN A** Jon was!! I don’t remember the specific comments Jon was making but they were not nice!! If he had really missed the kids while they were away for ten days then WHY did he not make any effort to see them at the beach?? I guess maybe it was too far away but even a phone call from daddy to the kids would have been nice.
As I listened to Kate talk about the trip to the beach with the kids and camping in their backyard, I kept saying good for U Kate because of her attitude and resolve to do things she has never done before and to step up to the plate and be the best parent she can be right now as her life crashes and crumbles down around her. I have seen a big change in her lately and Kate has softened a bit around the hard edges.
I believe it takes two to make a marriage work and I have shared many ups and downs with my husband but we have managed to hang in there and just celebrated our 20th wedding anniversary this past July!! Yes, there are two sides to every story and we are really only seeing Kate’s but to be honest I am disgusted with the way Jon is and has been acting. How can a man suddenly decide he no longer wants to be married because the grass seems greener on the other side and he missed out on his “youth”??!! WHAT about Kate and even more importantly those precious, innocent eight children depending on their father??!! GROW UP AND BE A REAL MAN JON!!! OK I will stop ranting or I will be sitting here when the sun comes up LOL!!! I hope I did not offend anyone with my comments but just my thoughts on a bad situation.
Thank U so much for this website and helpful blog advice. I look forward to more discussions and helpful advice in the near future.
I came to this website from CNN and I am glad to find it. I am a longtime fan of Jon and Kate so I wanted to read others’ opinions about their problems. The Mixx discussion was impossible. It was a magnet for some of the worst jerks in the USA. I am happy to find a site with reasonable people sharing ideas.
I hope that they go to counseling and that they get back together. That has happened in other marriages and I hope it happens for them.
I don’t watch the show but of course heard the controversy. I’m sure it’s not all one-sided and if marriage counseling taught me anything it was that the problem is often with the individual and its necessary to work on your own issues as well as your issues as a couple. One of the most profound statements from our marriage counselor for me was ‘he’s not responsible for your happiness – you are.’
Anyway, I love that you were quoted on CNN.com Alisa – you ROCK!!!
I started watching the show because it was about raising sextuplets & twins. The challenges they faced as a family and so on… Now that they are letting their family fall apart, I am not interested. There is already enough negative exposer in the world, why would I want to watch a family fall apart for entertainment? The whole show was suppose to be about kids and for TLC or Jon & Kate to make it about divorce & families falling apart makes me sick… Now, I know divorce is a reality for many, but to have it disposed of in front of am audience is a disgrace to society, values, & what marriage is truly about. I think now more than ever, we need to take a step back and look what our wedding vows truly mean and honor them. What is this world coming to?
Not every marriage can be saved, or is worth saving for that matter. Abusive relationships, compulsive cheaters, gamblers, drug addicts, etc., and other factors contribute the 50%-plus divorce rate.
That being said, I have listened to Jon interviewed where he explained the reasons for the breakup and it sounds like his inner child needs a spanking. How will ever adequately explain to his kids over the next 20 to 30 years that he ” . . . was just trying to find himself and [he] just fell out of love . . .” with their mother? The impacts of divorce, good or bad, can be debated, but not the long-term effects on the children. They deserve more than what he’s giving them.
One of the greatest gifts a man can ever give his kids is to love their mother, the woman who became flesh of his flesh. This guy needs a lesson in responsibility.
Took me time to read all the comments, but I really enjoyed the article. It proved to be Very helpful to me and I am sure to all the commenters here! It’s always nice when you can not only be informed, but also entertained! I’m sure you had fun writing thx