Use sex toys? Yeah, you’re normal
A while back, a friend asked in a whisper, “Has your cleaning lady ever found your, um, you know?”
“My you know?”
“Yeah, you know, your, um, vibrator?”
I thought a bit about it. It was possible. I sometimes accidentally leave the thing on top of my dresser because, in those first few moments after it has done its thing, I’m not exactly thinking clearly.
“Probably,” I said.
She admitted that not only has her cleaning lady found hers, but that her cleaning lady knows where it belongs. She puts it away for her.
We got a good laugh over the nasty little things our cleaning ladies know about us. (This, by the way, was back in better times when I could actually afford to have a cleaning lady.) For a while after that conversation, I was extra careful to make sure all of our sexual supplies—DVDs, instructional books, battery powered things, lingerie—were well hidden.
I guess I didn’t want my cleaning lady to assume that I had any sort of sex life. Normal married people don’t do that sort of thing, you know? Normal married people have sex just a few times—just enough to create one or more children. Then they stop.
That’s, at least, the myth we like to perpetuate.
Plus, I assumed that supplies—particularly toys—were something to be embarrassed about, because only a few women resorted to them. Normal women, I assumed, just did it the old fashioned way. No vibration required.
And then yesterday I stumbled across a study that proved quite the opposite. According to researchers from Indiana University, sex toys are completely mainstream. In a survey of more than 3000 people, about 53 percent of women and 45 percent of men admitted to using them.
That’s right. Owning and using a vibrator is so normal. It’s so nothing to be concerned about if your cleaning lady finds it because your cleaning lady probably has one just like it…. Or one that’s even bigger and better.
More important, the sex toy using people who were studied reported better sexual function. Vibrator wielding women reported more sexual desire and a much easier time reaching orgasm than women who preferred the old fashioned way. The men who incorporated them into their sexual routines also reported better erectile function and sexual satisfaction.
Kind of makes you want to run out and buy one, doesn’t it? If so, you might want to check out one of the following books so you can get a model that’s right for you:
The Intelligent Woman’s Guide to Vibrators
The Good Vibrations Complete Guide to Vibrators
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Tags: sex toys
June 30th, 2009 at 11:36 am
The follow-up…? Let’s hope she does not clean “it” for you.
June 30th, 2009 at 12:21 pm
I love honest and sensual authors! Hooray!
My wife and I have seen our ups and downs in our 20 year marriage. With a business that collapsed after 20 years, loss of our fortune, separation, an affair and a near disintegration of our marriage, we nearly went insane.
When all was lost, all we had was each other. Looking at each other, stripped of everything, we could either divorce or take action.
Toys, open communication, role playing, fantasy talks, and going to the gym every day made a world of difference for us!
Keep up the good blog.
If you want to hear about a great triumph in a marriage that should have broken up, read my blog. The titles, book, etc. are geared toward men and may appear chauvinistic….don’t worry. That is just good marketing to get the men to pay attention! makeyourwifehot.com/bragblog
June 30th, 2009 at 9:30 pm
My woman and I incorporate the vibrator into our sexual routine regularly. It’s definitely a good thing.
July 1st, 2009 at 8:36 am
My woman and I incorporate the vibrator into our sexual routine regularly. It’s definitely a good thing.
OH! You’re my new favorite blogger fyi
July 2nd, 2009 at 3:15 pm
Great article Alisa! My husband purchased my first vibrator for me and I let it sit around for months before using it. I’m happy to say that our sex life has markedly improved since I put it to regular use – we’ve continued to add to the collection. PSA: If you search for “Adam and Eve Offer Code” on Google, a featured link will pop up at the top of the search results that will get you 50% off one toy/vibrator/product from Adam & Eve.
July 24th, 2009 at 8:53 am
My husband and I have been doing a foreplay workout for the past few weeks. (it’s called The Sexy Workout) Last night we did the workout together – blindfolded. Afterwards I was lying there with my eyes closed when I heard a familiar “buzz.” It felt SOO AMAZING! Everything was so much more sensitive. I had two powerful orgasms before we made love.
July 31st, 2009 at 7:40 pm
I’m sure that many more than the 53% who admitted using toys actually use toys.
August 6th, 2009 at 8:49 pm
I’m seriously thinking of discussing with my wife getting more toys involved in our lovemaking and sex romp sessions. I guess that means we’ll need to look at some online catalogues – together!
She has had a smooth torpedo dildo for years which we have used every now and then. To be honest it excites me even more when we use it, and I can only presume she appreciates the fact that I’m open to using toys to enhance our sexual relationship. My thinking has always been there is nothing wrong with spicing things up a bit.
May 19th, 2010 at 10:55 am
check my site for your toys
August 15th, 2010 at 9:14 am
Very interesting article. I love all the other posts here as well. .