Someone recently asked me how I went from wishing my husband would just drop dead already to feeling so happy that he was still in my life. He wrote, “I am willing to try anything and am desperate to find something that works. Can you share your secret?”
At first I thought, “One secret? One thing? It was 600 million little things. It would take me an entire year to write it all down for you.” I thought about writing back, asking him to read the Free Marriage Advice series and to download my free Relationships Rules ebook. I thought about suggesting that he wait until early 2011, when Running Press will publish Project: Happily Ever After, which details the entire story of how I saved my marriage.
But the word “desperate” kept haunting me. And something else struck me, too. I realized that there was just one secret to saving a marriage. It was this:
Try everything.
Try reading all of the marital improvement books at your local bookstore. Try marital counseling. Try couples retreats.
Try things that, at first, seem really stupid. Try things that you don’t think could possibly work. Try. It. All.
Some of the things that you try will work. Some won’t. My journey from bad marriage to good was not linear. We took two steps forward and one step back, over and over again. So will you.
But with enough effort, anything is possible. Anything.
Oh, and just because I could not resist, here’s another secret: Speak your voice. Ask for what you need. Stand up for yourself. Know that you deserve to be happy. You deserve better. No one deserves to be stuck in a bad marriage.
Got that? No one. In the end, it’s the belief in your own worth that will help you solve your problem.
A bad marriage is not a curse that was inflicted upon you by an evil sorceress. It’s a problem, one that you can solve with creativity, effort and patience. Think of yourself as a real life MacGyver. Only instead of being stuck inside of a closet with just a match, some Silly Putty and a paperclip, you are stuck in a bad marriage with just a bunch of marital improvement books, websites and marriage therapists. How will you use the tools that you have at your disposal to solve the problem of being stuck in a bad marriage? Only you know the answer to that question.
Copyright 2009 Project Happily Ever After
No related posts.
Related posts brought to you by Yet Another Related Posts Plugin.
Sarah Liz (3)
TAY (2)
50 Proposals (1)
Alexandra (1)
Ande Lyons (1)
Angelina Whiteney (1)
Artemisia (1)
AS (1)
ash (1)
Christine (1)
{ 13 comments… read them below or add one }
Congratulations on the book deal! Way to start your marketing push asap. ; )
Thanks! Yes, shameless self promoting for the next 1.5 years and beyond.
Would like to share this information on the new book written by Dr. Gary Chapman- Love is a Verb – http://www.bizymoms.com/books/love-is-a-verb/index.html beautiful moving and inspiring true stories on love and relationship. Check it out as there is a contest to win an autographed copy of his new book and a cash prize of $50.00 as well -
http://www.bizymoms.com/books/love-is-a-verb/contest.html
That is a wonderful article. I really believe it will work out to be a very crucial piece of information in the future for me.
My husband says he feels smothered. He has saved up money for his own place, and I never saw it coming. I thought we were happy, we have been married for 1o years. What did I miss? Can I still save my marriage?
Hello Jennifer,
Dont know if you were able to save your marriage but your story stuck out to me cause I am a man and have been on the other end of this….I did what your husband did. My ex didnt fight for me. She just let me go. We never recovered…because we didnt know how to try…we felt it was useless….lots of hurt feelings, pride and innability to communicate effectively contributed to our demise. I have since moved on, but think I would of handled things differently now…and wish she would of also…we let a 10 yr union slip away….so now I will never know what could of or should of….Its one of my biggest and most painful bridges in life I crossed. If you want to communicate more, I would be happy to help and shed light on my experience.
Marriage is one of the most sacred ceremonies that we humans experience. Being married also gives us happines.:-;
marriage is great specially if you have found a very special someone that is beautiful both on the inside and outside..*;
marriage is one of the happiest moments that a person will experience in his/her life;’~
Marriage isn’t always as pretty as described above. It takes years of hard work to keep it going.
marriage is of course very sacred that is why both partners should give respect to each other -~.
How is it that two people can love each other sooo much, but fight to the point we almost kill each other?
(not literally, of course..emotionally.)
we’re both sick of fighting, we both love each other, we both want it to work. we’ll have a good few days and then BAM! fight over me being out with my friends or him wanting to drink liquor. i’m at a loss, and desperate for help. we’re considering counselling, but i have the inkling that it would drive us further apart. please help me
That is a amazing document. I really believe it operate out to be a very vital element of details later on for me.