Comments on: Why am I attracted to other men, but not my husband? http://www.projecthappilyeverafter.com/2009/05/shes-not-attracted-to-her-husband-but-she-is-attracted-to-someone-else/ Because life after "I do" isn't always so charming Thu, 09 Feb 2012 06:39:55 +0000 hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.3.1 By: Artemisia http://www.projecthappilyeverafter.com/2009/05/shes-not-attracted-to-her-husband-but-she-is-attracted-to-someone-else/comment-page-1/#comment-106818 Artemisia Fri, 03 Feb 2012 17:36:54 +0000 http://www.projecthappilyeverafter.com/?p=1905#comment-106818 I know exactly how you feel. My husband it kind and caring. He is wonderful with our kids. I have never gotten along with anyone like I do him. He was my best friend before we got together and I just assumed that we would be able to ease from being friends to being lovers. But, I never was really sexually attracted to him. At the time I was young, I had never really explored my sexuality and just kind of accepted the lack of physical attraction and absence of any real intimate bond. Now, I feel so hopeless. I don't know what to do. I feel sick to my stomach when he touches me. Sex is just awkward which I know it has a lot to do with me being tense and uncomfortable the whole time. It does not do much for his self-esteem. I desperately long to share that intimate bond with someone that comes with sex and I should long to share it with my husband, but I don't. I am terrified of leaving, I know I have a good life with him and I doubt I could find someone that treats me as well as he does, but sometimes the lack of an intimate connection is so overwhelming and depressing. I know exactly how you feel. My husband it kind and caring. He is wonderful with our kids. I have never gotten along with anyone like I do him. He was my best friend before we got together and I just assumed that we would be able to ease from being friends to being lovers. But, I never was really sexually attracted to him. At the time I was young, I had never really explored my sexuality and just kind of accepted the lack of physical attraction and absence of any real intimate bond. Now, I feel so hopeless. I don’t know what to do. I feel sick to my stomach when he touches me. Sex is just awkward which I know it has a lot to do with me being tense and uncomfortable the whole time. It does not do much for his self-esteem. I desperately long to share that intimate bond with someone that comes with sex and I should long to share it with my husband, but I don’t. I am terrified of leaving, I know I have a good life with him and I doubt I could find someone that treats me as well as he does, but sometimes the lack of an intimate connection is so overwhelming and depressing.

]]> By: sandra http://www.projecthappilyeverafter.com/2009/05/shes-not-attracted-to-her-husband-but-she-is-attracted-to-someone-else/comment-page-1/#comment-105856 sandra Fri, 27 Jan 2012 19:17:42 +0000 http://www.projecthappilyeverafter.com/?p=1905#comment-105856 Yes LOla! me too! The way i see it is you can't get something back if it was never there right??? Thats what i think marriage counseling tries to do and just don't believe or perhaps feel that you have to be dependent on them to "perk" up your marriage all the time...it wouldn't feel natural to me. Has anyone ever been in this situation? With me, i have a hard time telling someone what i want b/c half the time i don't even know myself. I have been relying on my feelings only..what to do? Yes LOla! me too! The way i see it is you can’t get something back if it was never there right??? Thats what i think marriage counseling tries to do and just don’t believe or perhaps feel that you have to be dependent on them to “perk” up your marriage all the time…it wouldn’t feel natural to me. Has anyone ever been in this situation? With me, i have a hard time telling someone what i want b/c half the time i don’t even know myself. I have been relying on my feelings only..what to do?

]]> By: Me http://www.projecthappilyeverafter.com/2009/05/shes-not-attracted-to-her-husband-but-she-is-attracted-to-someone-else/comment-page-1/#comment-105199 Me Mon, 23 Jan 2012 03:15:13 +0000 http://www.projecthappilyeverafter.com/?p=1905#comment-105199 Lola. You just summarized my life. Lola. You just summarized my life.

]]> By: Lola http://www.projecthappilyeverafter.com/2009/05/shes-not-attracted-to-her-husband-but-she-is-attracted-to-someone-else/comment-page-1/#comment-102714 Lola Mon, 02 Jan 2012 02:57:29 +0000 http://www.projecthappilyeverafter.com/?p=1905#comment-102714 What if I have never had a sexual attraction to my husband? I love him very much- he's a stable, very loving man. I thought I could live without the sex/ but as I am approaching 40 my sex drive is higher than ever! Honestly the thought of having sex with him really makes sick to my stomach. I have forced myself but I can't do that any more/ I have told my husband how I feel. He seems to be making effort / which just makes me feel bad. ????? What if I have never had a sexual attraction to my husband?
I love him very much- he’s a stable, very loving man.
I thought I could live without the sex/ but as I am approaching 40 my sex drive is higher than ever! Honestly the thought of having sex with him really makes sick to my stomach. I have forced myself but I can’t do that any more/ I have told my husband how I feel. He seems to be making effort / which just makes me feel bad.

?????

]]> By: Rose http://www.projecthappilyeverafter.com/2009/05/shes-not-attracted-to-her-husband-but-she-is-attracted-to-someone-else/comment-page-1/#comment-85553 Rose Mon, 29 Aug 2011 22:28:18 +0000 http://www.projecthappilyeverafter.com/?p=1905#comment-85553 These are great points. Unfortunately, if I make a suggestion to my husband about something I like regarding his appearence, he gets defensive and does the opposite. For example, I suggested he let the top part of his grow a little longer, because I think it'd look good on him, he ended up shaving his head. He obviously doesn't care about my opinions...he tells me I should love him for who he is....yet if he tells me he likes my hair brown better than blonde, I automatically dye it. These are great points. Unfortunately, if I make a suggestion to my husband about something I like regarding his appearence, he gets defensive and does the opposite. For example, I suggested he let the top part of his grow a little longer, because I think it’d look good on him, he ended up shaving his head. He obviously doesn’t care about my opinions…he tells me I should love him for who he is….yet if he tells me he likes my hair brown better than blonde, I automatically dye it.

]]> By: Malou http://www.projecthappilyeverafter.com/2009/05/shes-not-attracted-to-her-husband-but-she-is-attracted-to-someone-else/comment-page-1/#comment-65578 Malou Wed, 20 Apr 2011 20:28:53 +0000 http://www.projecthappilyeverafter.com/?p=1905#comment-65578 she could be......maybe the sex thing is her way of trying to connect with you, instead of having it with that other guy.......please help your wife get through the said ordeal.....it is an indirect way of saying..."help me from not falling out of love with you".... she could be……maybe the sex thing is her way of trying to connect with you, instead of having it with that other guy…….please help your wife get through the said ordeal…..it is an indirect way of saying…”help me from not falling out of love with you”….

]]> By: Sarsut http://www.projecthappilyeverafter.com/2009/05/shes-not-attracted-to-her-husband-but-she-is-attracted-to-someone-else/comment-page-1/#comment-52561 Sarsut Sat, 05 Mar 2011 12:38:32 +0000 http://www.projecthappilyeverafter.com/?p=1905#comment-52561 I'm 39 and my wife is 37. We have one kid 13 years old. Our married life is 14 years. Both of us are working. She has recently joined in his job.Before when she was a housewife she is not normally busy with hose wokk and we have made sex with once in week. Now after her joining in job she has completely changed and want sex every night twice. I dont no how this happend. Her way of talking is changed into sexy voice. I m doubt if she had attacted towards some other co-worker in her office as she is sitting adjecent to one young 30 yrs old men. He normally helped her in completing the work and talked with her in very romanting way. He also asked her that if he dropped her while returning from office. She came one day with him in his bike and that night we had sex 3 time. Please advice is she is really attracted with that men if yes then what shall I do. I dont want to loose her I love her very much. Please tell me if she is attacted towards other men..what shall I do. I’m 39 and my wife is 37. We have one kid 13 years old. Our married life is 14 years. Both of us are working. She has recently joined in his job.Before when she was a housewife she is not normally busy with hose wokk and we have made sex with once in week. Now after her joining in job she has completely changed and want sex every night twice. I dont no how this happend. Her way of talking is changed into sexy voice. I m doubt if she had attacted towards some other co-worker in her office as she is sitting adjecent to one young 30 yrs old men. He normally helped her in completing the work and talked with her in very romanting way. He also asked her that if he dropped her while returning from office. She came one day with him in his bike and that night we had sex 3 time. Please advice is she is really attracted with that men if yes then what shall I do. I dont want to loose her I love her very much.

Please tell me if she is attacted towards other men..what shall I do.

]]> By: Sarsut http://www.projecthappilyeverafter.com/2009/05/shes-not-attracted-to-her-husband-but-she-is-attracted-to-someone-else/comment-page-1/#comment-52560 Sarsut Sat, 05 Mar 2011 12:34:20 +0000 http://www.projecthappilyeverafter.com/?p=1905#comment-52560 My wife is attacted towards anather men her co worker in her office. She loves me but she also tel me about good relation with him. She used to come with him from office. She told me she only touched him while coming in bike meance her breast touched on his back wile driving) we have one kid and our marriage life is 13 years old. Can i understand this is first step towards her extramarrital affair. Pls advice My wife is attacted towards anather men her co worker in her office. She loves me but she also tel me about good relation with him. She used to come with him from office. She told me she only touched him while coming in bike meance her breast touched on his back wile driving) we have one kid and our marriage life is 13 years old. Can i understand this is first step towards her extramarrital affair. Pls advice

]]> By: how to cheat on your wife http://www.projecthappilyeverafter.com/2009/05/shes-not-attracted-to-her-husband-but-she-is-attracted-to-someone-else/comment-page-1/#comment-31515 how to cheat on your wife Wed, 19 Jan 2011 19:19:28 +0000 http://www.projecthappilyeverafter.com/?p=1905#comment-31515 It's probably because your marriage has become stagnant and unfulfilled. You should find ways to spice up your marriage so it is fun for you again. If your marriage is more about just not leaving each other and not about being together and being happy, then there are some real problems. You need to be honest with yourself and decide what you really want. It’s probably because your marriage has become stagnant and unfulfilled. You should find ways to spice up your marriage so it is fun for you again. If your marriage is more about just not leaving each other and not about being together and being happy, then there are some real problems. You need to be honest with yourself and decide what you really want.

]]> By: Nu http://www.projecthappilyeverafter.com/2009/05/shes-not-attracted-to-her-husband-but-she-is-attracted-to-someone-else/comment-page-1/#comment-29768 Nu Sun, 16 Jan 2011 04:26:24 +0000 http://www.projecthappilyeverafter.com/?p=1905#comment-29768 many times adultery, depending on where its stemming from is an addiction. It sounds as if this has become the case for your wife. If you are committed to her recovery you may experience many frustrations, but if you hang in there with her and she remains committed to becoming a faithful wifethen the rewards will include you two having a stronger relationship. Its likely that she does love you but the adulterous relationship is feeding some part of herself emotionally,psychologically, or spiritually and she is powerless until she gets help, in overcoming this particular transgression. A many times adultery, depending on where its stemming from is an addiction. It sounds as if this has become the case for your wife. If you are committed to her recovery you may experience many frustrations, but if you hang in there with her and she remains committed to becoming a faithful wifethen the rewards will include you two having a stronger relationship. Its likely that she does love you but the adulterous relationship is feeding some part of herself emotionally,psychologically, or spiritually and she is powerless until she gets help, in overcoming this particular transgression.
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