Comments on: How to save a marriage when your spouse doesn’t want to try http://www.projecthappilyeverafter.com/2009/05/how-to-save-a-marriage-when-your-spouse-doesnt-want-to-try/ Because life after "I do" isn't always so charming Sun, 01 Aug 2010 01:31:16 +0000 hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=abc By: Sarai http://www.projecthappilyeverafter.com/2009/05/how-to-save-a-marriage-when-your-spouse-doesnt-want-to-try/comment-page-1/#comment-7485 Sarai Wed, 14 Apr 2010 13:53:55 +0000 http://www.projecthappilyeverafter.com/?p=1884#comment-7485 I know its not easy to save a marriage from a divorce. But my problem is that in my case my husband had just been divorced & has 2 boys from his ex-wife. I love the fact that he cares for his boys but I just don't like the fact that when he makes agreement with the boys' mother he does not always speak to me about it to see if I agree with it. When I do figure issues like that, he gets mad and tells me that this is any of my buisness. The sad part about this is the way I gave him my life and married him but most of the time it feels like if he's not even listening to not even one word I am saying. We were living together 2yrs before we got married, we got married 2 wks ago, but there comes moments that I feel that I just don't know what to do anymore. I also know that his 2 boys come before me no matter what, but I just feel that as me becoming his wife, he should give me more respect and try to see if I agree with him before speaking to the boys' mother. I know its not easy to save a marriage from a divorce. But my problem is that in my case my husband had just been divorced & has 2 boys from his ex-wife. I love the fact that he cares for his boys but I just don’t like the fact that when he makes agreement with the boys’ mother he does not always speak to me about it to see if I agree with it. When I do figure issues like that, he gets mad and tells me that this is any of my buisness. The sad part about this is the way I gave him my life and married him but most of the time it feels like if he’s not even listening to not even one word I am saying. We were living together 2yrs before we got married, we got married 2 wks ago, but there comes moments that I feel that I just don’t know what to do anymore. I also know that his 2 boys come before me no matter what, but I just feel that as me becoming his wife, he should give me more respect and try to see if I agree with him before speaking to the boys’ mother.

]]> By: Bob http://www.projecthappilyeverafter.com/2009/05/how-to-save-a-marriage-when-your-spouse-doesnt-want-to-try/comment-page-1/#comment-7441 Bob Tue, 13 Apr 2010 16:52:03 +0000 http://www.projecthappilyeverafter.com/?p=1884#comment-7441 When my wife told me our marriage was over a few years ago, I was completely unprepared for what to do. I just knew that I didn't want to get divorced! The most valuable resource I have ever found is at http://www.saveafailingmarriage.info/ and it saved our marriage! When my wife told me our marriage was over a few years ago, I was completely unprepared for what to do. I just knew that I didn’t want to get divorced!
The most valuable resource I have ever found is at http://www.saveafailingmarriage.info/ and it saved our marriage!

]]> By: Lynn http://www.projecthappilyeverafter.com/2009/05/how-to-save-a-marriage-when-your-spouse-doesnt-want-to-try/comment-page-1/#comment-3166 Lynn Mon, 17 Aug 2009 15:49:13 +0000 http://www.projecthappilyeverafter.com/?p=1884#comment-3166 I agree with you Kris, I know I am a big part as to why my marriage is not working, I have given up. But, I have tried to talk to him and yes, he sort of listens, but doesn't pay much attention. He knows i am tired of being a single mom and would like more help with the kids and more help with the housework and yard work, but he is lazy by nature and addicted to the computer. I thought I could deal with that, but i really want a husband and a father, not just a lazy roommate. He will change for a while, then goes right back to old habits. I have gotten to the point of just ignoring what he says anymore because I know it will not be permanent. I agree with you Kris, I know I am a big part as to why my marriage is not working, I have given up. But, I have tried to talk to him and yes, he sort of listens, but doesn’t pay much attention. He knows i am tired of being a single mom and would like more help with the kids and more help with the housework and yard work, but he is lazy by nature and addicted to the computer. I thought I could deal with that, but i really want a husband and a father, not just a lazy roommate. He will change for a while, then goes right back to old habits. I have gotten to the point of just ignoring what he says anymore because I know it will not be permanent.

]]> By: Kris http://www.projecthappilyeverafter.com/2009/05/how-to-save-a-marriage-when-your-spouse-doesnt-want-to-try/comment-page-1/#comment-2152 Kris Thu, 28 May 2009 20:22:12 +0000 http://www.projecthappilyeverafter.com/?p=1884#comment-2152 It was, in fact, the free advice series. Part 2 I believe is the one I was reading when I realized I was keeping this from working, because through all his effort, I refused to budge or give up past hurts. It was, in fact, the free advice series. Part 2 I believe is the one I was reading when I realized I was keeping this from working, because through all his effort, I refused to budge or give up past hurts.

]]> By: Alisa http://www.projecthappilyeverafter.com/2009/05/how-to-save-a-marriage-when-your-spouse-doesnt-want-to-try/comment-page-1/#comment-2148 Alisa Thu, 28 May 2009 17:50:14 +0000 http://www.projecthappilyeverafter.com/?p=1884#comment-2148 I'm not completely sure, but I think it was from the free marriage advice series, perhaps the one I'm linking to here or one on forgiveness. http://www.projecthappilyeverafter.com/2009/01/free-marriage-advice-part-1/ It might have also been this from the How to Be Happy series: http://www.projecthappilyeverafter.com/2009/02/how-to-be-happy-part-2/ If you have a specific question, though, I'm happy to answer it. I’m not completely sure, but I think it was from the free marriage advice series, perhaps the one I’m linking to here or one on forgiveness.

http://www.projecthappilyeverafter.com/2009/01/free-marriage-advice-part-1/

It might have also been this from the How to Be Happy series: http://www.projecthappilyeverafter.com/2009/02/how-to-be-happy-part-2/

If you have a specific question, though, I’m happy to answer it.

]]> By: Judy http://www.projecthappilyeverafter.com/2009/05/how-to-save-a-marriage-when-your-spouse-doesnt-want-to-try/comment-page-1/#comment-2147 Judy Thu, 28 May 2009 17:42:16 +0000 http://www.projecthappilyeverafter.com/?p=1884#comment-2147 Kris - What was the "article that drove home to you that you couldn't expect him to make all the changes and not accept them, and expect it to work." This is my first time on this web site. If Kris can't remember maybe you could help, Alisa. Thanks so much! Kris – What was the “article that drove home to you that you couldn’t expect him to make all the changes and not accept them, and expect it to work.”

This is my first time on this web site.
If Kris can’t remember maybe you could help, Alisa.
Thanks so much!

]]> By: Alisa http://www.projecthappilyeverafter.com/2009/05/how-to-save-a-marriage-when-your-spouse-doesnt-want-to-try/comment-page-1/#comment-2100 Alisa Sun, 24 May 2009 12:59:38 +0000 http://www.projecthappilyeverafter.com/?p=1884#comment-2100 Kris: it's so gratifying to read that I had something to do with bringing your marriage to a happier place. I'm so glad you stuck it out and that things worked for you. Thanks for sharing your success here to inspire others! Kris: it’s so gratifying to read that I had something to do with bringing your marriage to a happier place. I’m so glad you stuck it out and that things worked for you. Thanks for sharing your success here to inspire others!

]]> By: Kris http://www.projecthappilyeverafter.com/2009/05/how-to-save-a-marriage-when-your-spouse-doesnt-want-to-try/comment-page-1/#comment-2093 Kris Sat, 23 May 2009 21:22:44 +0000 http://www.projecthappilyeverafter.com/?p=1884#comment-2093 It's ironic that this should be posted. I gave up on my marriage at the beginning of this year, because even though he loves me I felt like I was alone in the marriage. We went through this basic line up, only I gave him one month. During that month he made every single change I asked of him, and the list was not short. 5 months later, we're happier than ever and now I'm happily abiding by his list, which included one thing: love me. Going through this not only taught me a lot about myself (ie, speak up!), but really showed me how much he loves me, to make the changes without complaint. Oh, one last thing. Alisa, this site helped save our marriage. One of your articles is what really drove home to me that I couldn't expect him to make all the changes and not accept them, and expect it to work. I started trying to behave as I would when I was happy, and soon enough, I actually was. :) It’s ironic that this should be posted. I gave up on my marriage at the beginning of this year, because even though he loves me I felt like I was alone in the marriage. We went through this basic line up, only I gave him one month. During that month he made every single change I asked of him, and the list was not short. 5 months later, we’re happier than ever and now I’m happily abiding by his list, which included one thing: love me. Going through this not only taught me a lot about myself (ie, speak up!), but really showed me how much he loves me, to make the changes without complaint.

Oh, one last thing. Alisa, this site helped save our marriage. One of your articles is what really drove home to me that I couldn’t expect him to make all the changes and not accept them, and expect it to work. I started trying to behave as I would when I was happy, and soon enough, I actually was. :)

]]> By: kate http://www.projecthappilyeverafter.com/2009/05/how-to-save-a-marriage-when-your-spouse-doesnt-want-to-try/comment-page-1/#comment-2091 kate Sat, 23 May 2009 19:56:22 +0000 http://www.projecthappilyeverafter.com/?p=1884#comment-2091 Saving a marriage from divorce is really not easy. You have to give your best shot.. especially when you're given a specific time to prove yourself, and to try to <a href="http://www.savemymarriage.com" rel="nofollow">save your marriage</a>. Communication is a big help. And be sensitive with your partner's feelings. If your hurting, she's hurting too. Do everything to please her.. but don't be a slave for her. Saving a marriage from divorce is really not easy. You have to give your best shot.. especially when you’re given a specific time to prove yourself, and to try to save your marriage.
Communication is a big help. And be sensitive with your partner’s feelings. If your hurting, she’s hurting too. Do everything to please her.. but don’t be a slave for her.

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