How to Make a Decision
I talk to many people who are stuck at the proverbial fork in the road and they can’t decide which way to go. Rather than choosing one path or the other, they stay rooted in place and can’t move forward at all.
They ask me, “Which is the right thing to do? I just don’t know what to do!”
The answer is actually very simple but, before I get to it, I want to share a little information with you about decision-making. You basically have three types of decisions. You can choose between the following probable outcomes:
Bad vs. Good: This is the easiest decision to make. Good hands down.
Bad vs. Equally Bad: This is the second easiest decision to make. Would you rather find out that your husband is cheating on you or find out that your house just burned to the ground? Would you rather die in a car accident or a plane accident? Would you rather lose your job or lose your life savings? Does it really matter? For most of us, making these types of decisions is as simple as flipping a coin because the end result is the same: would you rather be miserable or be just as miserable?
Good vs. Equally Good: These are the hardest decisions to make, because you spend your time second-guessing yourself. Should I marry the hot guy who has no personality or the guy with the personality who isn’t remotely hot? Tough one.
Obviously there are different shades in between, but you get the idea. It’s usually the good vs. good decisions that cause people to stand still.
What to do? Just choose one or the other and go with it.
Is it the right decision? Is it the wrong decision? No one can predict the future. You just need to make a choice. That’s what life is all about: the journey.
Think about where we would be if Thomas Edison sat in his little workshop (or wherever the heck it was he tried to assemble the light bulb) and continually asked himself: Is this right? Should I do this? What if this doesn’t work?
We’d be in the dark. That’s where we’d be.
Make your decisions in life the same way a scientist conducts an experiment. Go with your best hypothesis. If you can’t even get as far as a hunch or a gut feeling, then flip a coin or ask a friend to do an eeany meany miney moe. Then move forward. Life is your experiment. See what happens. If you end up with an undesirable result, make a new decision and start over.
Whenever you make a decision, resist the urge to look back and regret the decision you could have made instead. Learn from the decision you did make so you can make even better decisions in the future.
You’ll eventually come to see that there is no such thing as a bad decision. There just isn’t. Life is a series of choices, with each choice resulting in a series of events, some of them beneficial and some of them not. As long as you continually embrace change and learn from your past, you will find that your life keeps getting better and better.
A note to my regular readers: Some of you complained that Thursday’s blog post was not worth the subscription price of free because it did not provide any value. A couple of you were confused because you thought it was directed at you personally. When I wrote the post, I was hoping to entertain and make you laugh. Apparently I did not achieve that result. I quite possibly should have known that, as I had the flu at the time (and still do) and should have known that I could not pull off my best writing. The post was also a bit mean spirited. I’m generally only mean spirited when I’m sick. I should have known that, too. I cannot go back and un-do the past though. There are no bad decisions; Just bad outcomes. I’ve made a new decision today to make it up to you. I’ve provided you today with two posts for the price of one. In the future, when I’m annoyed about a troll, I will write a mean spirited email, and then I will delete it.
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Tags: decisions, Happiness advice
May 29th, 2009 at 7:52 pm
Just wanted to say that i thought your post was amusing, though your frustration clearly shone through. And in my opinion there’s nothing wrong with that. you had every right to be frustrated and vent! I would have been at LEAST that angry had I been in your position. Anyway, just wanted you to know that some of us are sympathetic to your plight, and don’t harbor any ill feelings!!
rebecca
May 29th, 2009 at 9:34 pm
Alisa, you have no apologies to make for yesterday’s point. This is a wonderful free service that you provide to people. For once, you showed your ‘frustration’ with a loser, believe me… I would have done a lot worse. Before I read you apology, I had just finished telling my boyfriend about the post and how well you handled it. Yes, you could tell you were pissed, what is wrong with that? however, I still think you handled yourself great and if people like that are taking up your time you have ever right to stand up for yourself. To those who complained about the post, this is a FREE service people. Alisa has never claimed to be perfect, she is human just like all of us. We share our thoughts and frustrations with her, she did it yesterday after a great deal of time spent wasted with this person, and we all know how precious time is. Ok, I’ve have my peace
By the way, I LOVED the picture you chose for the post yesterday, perfection, and gave me a good laugh.
June 1st, 2009 at 2:01 am
I made it to your site via Stumble a few posts back, but I liked the post in question. Although I wouldn’t like to see similar posts too frequently, I think that it is important to address all the different groups of people who read your blog and email you – even the trolls from time to time. So don’t beat yourself up over it and don’t let anyone else do so either.
I’m looking forward to reading more of your posts.
June 2nd, 2009 at 9:46 am
Thanks guys–it’s always hard to walk the line. Now that I’m feeling better, I’m over it. Thanks for your support!
June 8th, 2009 at 3:47 pm
“There are no bad decisions, you can only make the best decision with the information you have at that time.”
I read this in a teenage magazine a year or so ago and something just hit me. Worrying will get you nowhere and nothing (except tense muscles, a headache and too much negativity over the long term to be healthy.) Amazing advice that so many people need to hear!
June 19th, 2009 at 7:59 pm
Hey thanks for the information. Very helpful for me.