Comments on: Sex Advice: what’s really normal anyway?

By: Gary

Gary — Fri, 30 Dec 2011 16:12:53 +0000

1MPDWIFE, I’m not trained as a psychologist but it sounds like you’re trying to resolve some of the issues surrounding your assault by reliving it in a “controlled” and loving situation. I would tell your husband about your fantasies and maybe get him to role play the fantasy with you, but with some kind of a safe word. That way if instead of making you feel better, safe, loved, etc., it freaks you out, then he’ll to be prepared to shut it down and just hold you.

It might be fun, it might be yucky, but at least then you’ll know. In the mean time, definitely don’t feel bad about having those feelings. I’m a guy and I love being dominated and giving up control to my bride.

By: 1MPDWIFE

1MPDWIFE — Tue, 18 Oct 2011 06:55:45 +0000

ok, so I have kind of a weird question….then again, maybe it’s just me who thinks it’s a weird question, but I have never asked it out loud before and I am kinda nervous to ask my husband. I was sexually assaulted by a “friend” about 7 years ago, a couple of years before I met my husband, who happens to be the only police officer and person for that matter that I told about the assault. Now I find myself craving the aggressive/rough attention and actions during sex with my husband…..is this normal? I have always blamed myself for letting it happen bc I have always been in a law enforcement based field and I should have been able to prevent it, but I wasn’t! I don’t know if I subconsciously think that since I wasn’t able to prevent it now I deserve it or if there is some other meaning reasoning behind it. But, I always find myself wanting my husband to do a lot of the same things that were done to me the night I was assaulted……and I never had those feelings or cravings before it happened. I guess part of me is worried about how people will look at me or think about me if I were to actually bring it up and talk about it to anyone I know, and I am very big on caring about other people’s feelings or what peoope think about me, I never want to disappoint anyone!

By: gary

gary — Wed, 24 Aug 2011 00:35:14 +0000

my wife never kisses, talks, never seems emotional, not good at petting … if sex is slow enough she orgasms. Then I fantasize to orgasm. Married 34 yrs, other than the orgasm, she doesn’t seem to be into sex. Raised Catholic. Suggestions? I’m a touchy-feely guy, I’d like lots of petting, kissing, exploring, gentle play, laughing, etc. Her, no way.

By: Sheri

Sheri — Wed, 29 Sep 2010 14:25:22 +0000

To Martha – Before you worry too much about the problem, I would suggest you talk to your partner. He might not mind as much as you think he does. Every guy is different, so don’t assume he feels that way. Maybe he does, maybe he doesn’t.

The best solution would be to delay penetration. There are a couple of options to draw things out for him before that point. You could try the tried and true BJ. I don’t know of a man who wouldn’t love one (although I’m sure there must be SOMEONE out there who doesn’t ) .

A second alternative probably has a name, but I don’t know what it’s called so I’ll have to describe it. Essentially, it is a Titty-Fuck. Press your breasts together, add a little lube (coconut oil?), and voila, a nice place for his little friend to have some great foreplay.

By: Martha

Martha — Mon, 08 Mar 2010 03:43:53 +0000

I have multipul orgasms just about every time with my significant other. My problem is that I tend to orgasm fast and we generally don’t go for long periods of time. He always wants to and it is hard for me to. I could really use some advice about this. I feel like he gets frustrated because I can’t go for long periods of time. If anyone has advice for me I would really appreciate it, because its not just about me being satisfied and happy and getting off I want him to be too.

By: Mrs. Micah

Mrs. Micah — Mon, 03 Aug 2009 20:05:40 +0000

Great piece! It also sounds like you and your hubby are well-matched sexually. Those guys who assume longer sex is better, etc, sound inexperienced and insecure to me. 15 minutes is plenty of time, though if a couple is able and desires to go longer yay…and if a couple is able and desires to go shorter, yay!

One of the best times my husband and I had involved about 25 minutes of foreplay so intense that I came within a couple minutes of penetration, as did he. It wasn’t normal for us, but we were so worked up that it was utterly perfect.

Listening to Dan Savage’s podcast has been another thing that helps me realize just how normal so many things are. And how lucky I am to have someone who’s on the same page.

By: Samantha

Samantha — Mon, 29 Jun 2009 03:56:47 +0000

lol I loved the end comment about you and your husband! It’s great that we can appreciate the complexity in so many different types of relationships.

By: Johnny P

Johnny P — Tue, 19 May 2009 16:49:29 +0000

Sex is so relaxing and a wonderful way to spend time outdoors. It is one of my favorite hobbies that I love to share with others online! Thanks for taking the time to write this post, I always learn so much about sex from many different sources online!

By: Katie

Katie — Sun, 03 May 2009 07:54:54 +0000

This blog entry just made me SO happy. =D

Everyone is different, y’know? Every lover has something unique in their lovemaking. People are so complex, and this can especially be expressed in sexuality.

Thank you for writing this blog. It was fun. =P

By: masheko

masheko — Wed, 29 Apr 2009 15:20:43 +0000

Your sex life is normal if you are fast asleep after do it