Comments on: My man is never in the mood! Help!

By: Amanda

Amanda — Sun, 08 Jan 2012 16:16:38 +0000

I’m glad I found this page because I have felt like I am the only one with this issue.
I have been married a year and my husband has never liked sex. We have sex maybe once every 2 weeks if I ask, once every month if I don’t.
It has gotten worse since 6 months ago and I know it will continue to go downhill but he refuses to see a Dr. Even though he has admitted to low sex drive.
He is a bigger man and I read over weight people can have low sex drive, he also hates fruits and vegetables so that could be part of it as well.

I am now pregnant and at 30 weeks he won’t touch me. Says it’s too weird with a baby inside me. After the baby comes I know our sex life will be worse.
Men need to just admit the problem and see a dr. They are ruining their marriages and us women can’t do anything about it.

Yes seeing a dr. for that stuff is embarrassing but isn’t it better than ruining your marriage?

By: Sarah

Sarah — Sun, 20 Nov 2011 02:53:39 +0000

I’m in the same boat here. We’ve been together for 8 years and our sex life has dwindled down to about once every 5-6 weeks. We’re both in our early 30s with no kids either. I know a lot of his issue is stress at work and back pain, but he refuses to go to the doctor about his back. I know he takes care of things himself because I have found porn recorded and deleted on our dvr. As of this week I have turned on the parental controls and blocked all porn from both satellite boxes, but I know it won’t do any good. I don’t know how to get him to at least be interested once a week. I’ve told him that I’d even be okay for a quickie when he comes home from work but he is never in the mood. I’m at a loss.

By: Terri

Terri — Sat, 29 Oct 2011 06:28:39 +0000

I feel everybody’s pain. Danny has depression and he is never in the mood anymore.Every sunday I go over to his house to eat dinner and then we go to his room and I watch tv while he takes his nap.Then, afterwords, He always says no to me. I feel so depressed b/c I feel it is my fault and I am like crying b/c I don’t feel like I am attractive anymore to him.

By: Tom S

Tom S — Mon, 14 Mar 2011 12:05:54 +0000

My wife is never in the mood, I’ve asked for twice a week would be happy for 3 times a week. She is on a host of medications, at over 15, including anti depressions and mood stabilizers x3. I’ve asked her about what anti depression are doing. She gets very defensive if I question her medications. I’ve asked her doctor about changing her medications to another; she has been on the same for over 10 years.

I have ED but am able to overcome it with injections into the side of my penis. No big deal, sounds painful but it’s not. We are both in our fifties, I like sex more now than when I was younger.

I believe that sex is as important as all the other; talking, sharing fears and joys, trusting your spouse.

Got any suggestions?

By: Ryan

Ryan — Sun, 21 Nov 2010 01:19:19 +0000

I could say the same things above, but just by replacing “husband” with “wife”.

Hard as I try .. nothing.

By: Mylo

Mylo — Thu, 11 Nov 2010 15:36:41 +0000

I think all you ladies here need to just take your man to the doctor! Probably suffering from an imbalance in his hormones. It is natural for the testosterone in men to start deminishing slowly especially once they hit 35. Also, is any of your men into lifting weights? If so…have they taken any kind of steroids/Pro-hormones? There are a lot of weight lifting supplements that can mess with the libido and test levels!
I am kinda suffering from that now myself and is sucks! Trust me….Your man is most likely insecure about the situation himself and doesnt know what to do! It can be embarrasing!
When you approach him, dont approach him in disappointment cuz it will def make him worse. When you approach him just act like its completely natural! Tell him(even if you have to make it up) that one of your friends boyfriends or husbands was dealing with the same thing! So they went to the doctor and things have improved tremendously! Then encourage him to do the same! Just dont act like there is something wrong with him, that will boost the negative situation like crazy in the wrong direction!

So in closing, just act like this a normal thing thats not a big deal! He wants his drive back…trust me. Just get him to the doctor and do some blood tests to check his hormone levels! You would be suprised sometimes how things can turn around pretty quick once in treatment!

By: tika

tika — Tue, 14 Sep 2010 02:16:12 +0000

my husband and have been married 4yrs now and we only have sex once every 5months. he says all the time he is never in the mood when i try to come on to him. i have tried everything that a wife does to try to make love to her husband. i won’t get into detail on what i try. nothing seems to work and we are only 28yrs old so we are very young to not have a healthy sex life in our marriage. i give up on begging him night after night. its not fair to me at all.

By: jibberjabber

jibberjabber — Tue, 27 Jul 2010 03:12:26 +0000

I am so sad most days. My husband doesn’t want to have sex with me at all. I have gained weight recently and feel bad about myself. He says he loves me but I doubt his love when he pushes me away. We have sex probably no more than 2 times a year.

By: sho

sho — Sun, 04 Apr 2010 12:41:03 +0000

I have the same preoblem, its been 2 years now that i have got married and there has not been a day that i haven’t begged my man for sex, mostly he says a complete no, by saying that he is busy or he doesn’t feel like having a sex or he is very stressed to have sex and fights with me saying that i am a whore who has an unending demand for sex. this really frustrates me, a few times when he agrees to have sex, he comes so quick that i dont even understand that wether we had sex or not. In the latest he has stopped kissing me as well with a bullshit excuse that his lips are so chapped that it really hurts him to kiss me….please suggest me what to do…HELP ME!!!!!!!

By: Robin

Robin — Thu, 25 Mar 2010 21:29:10 +0000

Hello, I have this same problem. My husband was never a have sex all the time kind of guy but the last couple of years his sex drive is nil. We talk about it he says he’ll try harder (no pun intended) goes good for two weeks or so and then bam it’s like I’m not even there. Standing in front of him naked doesn’t do any thing, I ask if he needs me to wash his back in the shower and he says no the shower isn’t big enough. We use to shower together all the time.

I know he is on several medications that have “that” side effect, and he is over 50 and testosterone drops. He won’t go talk to his doctor about it because he is embarrassed. (That is what happens when you go to a doctor you graduated with). I told him he could see my doctor. He won’t go.

Not only does he have hardly any sex drive he is addicted to the tv. I swear he is. first thing in the morning TV goes on. He comes home from work, TV goes on. If I happen to be watching something when he comes home, he takes the remote and changes the channel.
Last night he was rubbing my back like he wanted to get it on, and he was rubbing me all over and the tv was on. I said “um didn’t you forget something?” he said “I wasn’t watching it.” most people lay and snuggle or smoke or something like that after sex.
My husband turns the TV back on.
Yes, the tv is in our bedroom and I know that is bad. But that is where he wants it, it’s his tv, he paid for it and he deserves to watch it where ever he wants. and I agree with him to an extent. We’ve talked about it before how the TV bothers me and it should be off when we do our thing. So it isn’t like he doesn’t know it bothers me.

So I’m frustrated, even if I just got more rubbing my shoulders or snuggling and not even sex that would be fine. That doesn’t happen either.

I do have my own toy but it isn’t the same as the physical contact. and doesn’t give you the feeling that it adores you. You know what I mean?

so im frustrated and don’t know what to do. We had set sunday as OUR day. worked for like two weeks, and I hate to have to remind him. It’s like nagging to get sex and that isn’t the way it should be.

Please give me some suggestions of what I can do.

thanks