Help wanted!

by Alisa Bowman on April 16, 2009

The unemployment rate has reached 8.5 percent. Bosses are so used to firing people that it no longer feels icky to them. Some now inform their employees of a lost job by telling Knock Knock jokes. Other companies are so strapped for cash that they have resorted to using cardboard boxes for offices.

Times are so bad that even dogs and cats are panhandling.

But there are some jobs to be had in this economy, assuming you have the right skills and are willing to put on your creative thinking cap. Here are a few I found this morning.

* Are you good at video games? Jealous of all of those Wall Street types who got signing bonuses? You can get a signing bonus, too! Just join the army.

* Want to earn lots of $$$ by working at home? Have a kick ass body? Are you one of those geeky girls who knows her way around a webcam? Then the adult entertainment industry wants you!

* Okay, so you still want to earn lots of money working at home, you know your way around a computer, but the kick ass body part is somewhat questionable, especially since the birth of your twins? No worries. There’s work for you, too!

* Are you big and scary looking? More important, do you sound big and scary over the phone? A job as a collections specialist is in your future!

* Are you capable of rolling up your sleeves and diving right in to get a dirty job done? Then a job as an animal care technician might be in the cards for you. No experience needed!

To get any of these jobs, though, you will have to interview. It’s important to make a good impression during your interview. Don’t do what any of these people did.

Welcome to Inappropriate Laughter Thursday!


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{ 6 comments… read them below or add one }

Dee Dee April 16, 2009 at 8:08 pm

LOL those are funny ads Alison! If there are people seriously looking for an income I can show them how to turn $500 into $3300 in 30 days (with a risk free money back guarantee!) I have been with this company for five years, and this new YES plan is rocking the world! I am loving helping people find financial freedom. All the skills you need are to be self motivated, a team player, and someone who likes to help others. Hope you don’t mind this plug, but I am guessing there are people who are really looking that are reading your post. :) It is also a great back-up plan for those who are concerned about where the axe will fall next.
If anyone wants more info they can email me at codeoflife@bellsouth.net

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Dee Dee April 16, 2009 at 9:03 pm

um sorry Alisa! Not sure why my fingers typed out Alison. :(

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Alisa April 16, 2009 at 9:29 pm

Hey… it’s gotta be better than cleaning up dog poop for $7.50 an hour. And you’re a regular here, so feel free to shamelessly promote as much as you want (seriously… not a worry).

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Eve@arewethere April 16, 2009 at 11:56 pm

Sounds like you need to send these suggestions to the show ‘Dirty Jobs’!

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Nando April 17, 2009 at 8:59 am

Girl, you are really ROCK’N this job list BLOG! I read it when it came out (on my phone) but had to come back and leave my comment!

It may not have been twins…maybe it was the Hostess cupcakes I “feast on” that made my kick ass body part look more like a Nabisco dumpsite….but I’ll try to pick up the pieces and keep on….and I’m referring to Reece’s Peices.

Things are looking dark for the employment world…maybe we all need to call Dee Dee for some financial freedom….right, Alison? Hehe. Kidding. (What? I just had to)

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cashgifting22 April 22, 2009 at 7:05 pm

Guys – We have a couple of salary paying jobs available for doing some online research for our cash gifting service. Please call Dell at 469-671-4005 for more details.

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