Comments on: Why nice girls finish unhappy http://www.projecthappilyeverafter.com/2009/02/why-nice-girls-finish-unhappy/ Because life after "I do" isn't always so charming Thu, 09 Feb 2012 06:39:55 +0000 hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.3.1 By: Kai Elan http://www.projecthappilyeverafter.com/2009/02/why-nice-girls-finish-unhappy/comment-page-1/#comment-19306 Kai Elan Wed, 08 Dec 2010 13:33:13 +0000 http://www.projecthappilyeverafter.com/?p=1226#comment-19306 This is a beautiful blog. I laughed at the part about the New York Times and the New Yorker. How I have felt similar to this, but I am happy I have gotten past the "nice girl" obstacle, at last. I agree with the sentiments by others about being real and nice. Perhaps, it can be better explained through this quote: "Kindness is an obligation to yourself; niceness is an obligation to others." Stay real and edgy ;) This is a beautiful blog. I laughed at the part about the New York Times and the New Yorker. How I have felt similar to this, but I am happy I have gotten past the “nice girl” obstacle, at last.
I agree with the sentiments by others about being real and nice. Perhaps, it can be better explained through this quote:
“Kindness is an obligation to yourself; niceness is an obligation to others.”
Stay real and edgy ;)

]]> By: Heather http://www.projecthappilyeverafter.com/2009/02/why-nice-girls-finish-unhappy/comment-page-1/#comment-17893 Heather Wed, 17 Nov 2010 15:05:08 +0000 http://www.projecthappilyeverafter.com/?p=1226#comment-17893 It's a shallow term. The act is a facade. Nice, by itself, is simply how others perceive you. What makes the idea whole, or being "good," is also being trustworthy, genuine, honest, compassionate, kind, caring. Being pleasant, or nice, is a cherry on top. It’s a shallow term. The act is a facade. Nice, by itself, is simply how others perceive you. What makes the idea whole, or being “good,” is also being trustworthy, genuine, honest, compassionate, kind, caring. Being pleasant, or nice, is a cherry on top.

]]> By: Eve http://www.projecthappilyeverafter.com/2009/02/why-nice-girls-finish-unhappy/comment-page-1/#comment-13542 Eve Tue, 14 Sep 2010 17:51:21 +0000 http://www.projecthappilyeverafter.com/?p=1226#comment-13542 I know that for myself, being "nice girl" has only led to my being a doormat. I "know" a lot of people but most of them don't "know" me. Heck I don't know me, so how could anyone else. I know that for myself, being “nice girl” has only led to my being a doormat.
I “know” a lot of people but most of them don’t “know” me. Heck I don’t know me, so how could anyone else.

]]> By: The Nice Girl http://www.projecthappilyeverafter.com/2009/02/why-nice-girls-finish-unhappy/comment-page-1/#comment-10156 The Nice Girl Fri, 02 Jul 2010 23:32:12 +0000 http://www.projecthappilyeverafter.com/?p=1226#comment-10156 I disagree with your definition of niceness. I don't consider "niceness" as needing to agree with other people. In fact, being nice comes from the inner strength that your feelings and happiness matter and you want to spread that feeling. I agree with Matt (see above). There is no reason why you can't share your true feelings and stay a nice person. It's a kind assertiveness that comes, again, not from a place of judgment, but a place of honesty. Nice people live in the truth. That is something missing in your definition. Sincerely, The Nice Girl :-) alwaysthenicegirl.blogspot.com I disagree with your definition of niceness. I don’t consider “niceness” as needing to agree with other people. In fact, being nice comes from the inner strength that your feelings and happiness matter and you want to spread that feeling.

I agree with Matt (see above). There is no reason why you can’t share your true feelings and stay a nice person. It’s a kind assertiveness that comes, again, not from a place of judgment, but a place of honesty. Nice people live in the truth. That is something missing in your definition.

Sincerely,
The Nice Girl :-)
alwaysthenicegirl.blogspot.com

]]> By: lindsey http://www.projecthappilyeverafter.com/2009/02/why-nice-girls-finish-unhappy/comment-page-1/#comment-8511 lindsey Fri, 14 May 2010 20:51:20 +0000 http://www.projecthappilyeverafter.com/?p=1226#comment-8511 im just coming to this revelation myself...dont be discouraged when you find out that hardly anybody else follows the same thoughts as you. just gives you more reason to continue on...ill keep my fight up if you keep yours up :) you have a right to be as comfortable as you tried to make other people, doll :) im just coming to this revelation myself…dont be discouraged when you find out that hardly anybody else follows the same thoughts as you. just gives you more reason to continue on…ill keep my fight up if you keep yours up :) you have a right to be as comfortable as you tried to make other people, doll :)

]]> By: Marcel W Buote http://www.projecthappilyeverafter.com/2009/02/why-nice-girls-finish-unhappy/comment-page-1/#comment-6981 Marcel W Buote Wed, 24 Mar 2010 21:23:17 +0000 http://www.projecthappilyeverafter.com/?p=1226#comment-6981 Very beneficial - continue to spread the word. Getting excited about an update. For too long now have I had the need to start my personal blog. Suppose if I wait around any more I will never do it. I'll make sure to include you in my Blogroll. Cheers!! Very beneficial – continue to spread the word. Getting excited about an update. For too long now have I had the need to start my personal blog. Suppose if I wait around any more I will never do it. I’ll make sure to include you in my Blogroll. Cheers!!

]]> By: Matt http://www.projecthappilyeverafter.com/2009/02/why-nice-girls-finish-unhappy/comment-page-1/#comment-4670 Matt Thu, 12 Nov 2009 14:38:11 +0000 http://www.projecthappilyeverafter.com/?p=1226#comment-4670 No wonder you had an epiphany. What you described as your definition of nice and what you used to be has nothing to do with nice. What you used to be was spineless and two-faced. There is nothing nice about that. Hopefully, you truly figured that out, because frankly people like that give REAL nice people, who believe in themselves enough to have some tact and maybe even lift others up, a BAD name. Because of them, people mistake kindness for weakness, because weakness and deception, even the subordinate kind, are so much more common. One does not have to throw out nice to be happy, they just gotta quit being a liar to everyone, including themselves. No wonder you had an epiphany. What you described as your definition of nice and what you used to be has nothing to do with nice. What you used to be was spineless and two-faced. There is nothing nice about that. Hopefully, you truly figured that out, because frankly people like that give REAL nice people, who believe in themselves enough to have some tact and maybe even lift others up, a BAD name. Because of them, people mistake kindness for weakness, because weakness and deception, even the subordinate kind, are so much more common. One does not have to throw out nice to be happy, they just gotta quit being a liar to everyone, including themselves.

]]> By: wildorchid http://www.projecthappilyeverafter.com/2009/02/why-nice-girls-finish-unhappy/comment-page-1/#comment-4442 wildorchid Sat, 24 Oct 2009 01:35:39 +0000 http://www.projecthappilyeverafter.com/?p=1226#comment-4442 Great post! I feel the same way. I tend to revel in my own dorkiosity, whether anyone else likes it or not. Great post! I feel the same way. I tend to revel in my own dorkiosity, whether anyone else likes it or not.

]]> By: JANET http://www.projecthappilyeverafter.com/2009/02/why-nice-girls-finish-unhappy/comment-page-1/#comment-2983 JANET Wed, 05 Aug 2009 20:19:15 +0000 http://www.projecthappilyeverafter.com/?p=1226#comment-2983 Hi Alisa , this is my first time leaving you a comment I discovered your blog just yesterday and i gotta say i love it!! I love all the advice that you talk about. You inspired me to start my own blog(which i did..just a couple hours ago) but anyways.... i tottalllly feel you on this one. Thats how i was for like the longest time. i was too nice and went with what everyone said. i pretty much just went with the flow i did what others did to please them and unfortanatly dat didnt go to well for me!! now that i am married and have a family of my own i am the one in charge and what i say goes!!! Hi Alisa ,
this is my first time leaving you a comment I discovered your blog just yesterday and i gotta say i love it!!
I love all the advice that you talk about.
You inspired me to start my own blog(which i did..just a couple hours ago)

but anyways….
i tottalllly feel you on this one.
Thats how i was for like the longest time. i was too nice and went with what everyone said. i pretty much just went with the flow
i did what others did to please them and unfortanatly dat didnt go to well for me!!
now that i am married and have a family of my own i am the one in charge and what i say goes!!!

]]> By: Matt Carpenter http://www.projecthappilyeverafter.com/2009/02/why-nice-girls-finish-unhappy/comment-page-1/#comment-2502 Matt Carpenter Wed, 01 Jul 2009 15:16:14 +0000 http://www.projecthappilyeverafter.com/?p=1226#comment-2502 There's nice and then there is merely being tactful. If you say, "That movie was the biggest piece of crap I've ever seen and the director should be shot", it's not very tactful. If you simply state that you didn't like the movie, then that it was more tactful. God bless. There’s nice and then there is merely being tactful. If you say, “That movie was the biggest piece of crap I’ve ever seen and the director should be shot”, it’s not very tactful. If you simply state that you didn’t like the movie, then that it was more tactful.

God bless.

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