Very good post! I was able to relate as the reason I started my website was the same as yours. I figured if I was going to spend all of my time writing and learning about something, then it darn well better be the thing I want to know the most about. Happiness has intrigued me my entire life as situations early in life have made it a difficult thing to obtain. It follows along the lines that most people become professionals in the areas they personally need the most help in (no offense psychiatrists!) I hope to learn more from your posts and hope we are able to help each other in the future.

Keep up the good work!
-TJ

Thanks for this post its really helps me.I agree with all your suggestions for dealing with negative feelings – But one thing i want to explain which i have found in my own experience that when someone who is your part of life and you can’t leave without him/her , whenever he/she in Angry , at that time you don’t reply him/her only a bit. You need to listen him/her whatever he/she speak. And after that when he/she in cool mood then you can tell him/her that he/she was wrong and all about his/her mistakse of that time!
Because this is a part of our life and we need to listen each other cool and hard Word of speak.

I agree with all your suggestions for dealing with negative feelings – I too have found the only way past them is through them, and acceptance is usually part of that for me. Another great tool for releasing negative feelings, at least for me, is to talk it through with people I trust who will listen and not judge, and let me figure out for myself what my next step is.

Thanks for the topic!

Linda Wolf

Then when I have good days, things generally roll really well, unless my son (the younger of our two kids — he just turned 2) is being difficult. Then things can get a little snappy around here. Fortunately I don’t really have any toxic people nearby, I just don’t have enough girlfriends close by that I can consistently turn to for support. They all have their hands full too. My husband is supportive, but nothing can take the place of a good girlfriend to really hear you. Unfortunately, my best two are geographically undesirable!

“There will be some people in your life that you can’t get away from. In laws and blood relatives usually fall into this category. In this case, you need to use a combination of acceptance (this is just how this person is), assertiveness (when you say xxx, I feel xxx) and avoidance (not answering the phone when you are feeling vulnerable and your caller ID tells you there is a toxic person on the other end of the line). The most important thing to remember is this: Your happiness is just as important as someone else’s. The right answer for you may be different than it is for someone else–but deciding to cut certain toxic people out of your life (if needed) does not make you a bad person. It makes you human.”

I think that we are entitled to choose our family. There is no person that is entitled to be in contact with you and you are not required to accept anyone into your life that you don’t approve of. I have recently ended my relationship with both my own mother and my mother-in-law. I have three brothers and I only speak to two of them on a regular basis. I have cut most of my undeserving friends from my life and moved on.

I think that the people you allow in your life will drag you down if you let them. I make no attempt to tie myself to anyone whom I feel doesn’t deserve me in their life. I can’t even begin to tell you how much happier my life is without these people. The way I see it, I’m just making room in my life for new, exciting, and positive experiences.

Our attention can only be spread so far. If we’re spending our time with negative people, regardless of how we’ve labeled them, we are giving them some of the attention that could be used on positive people. It’s a great sacrifice but completely worth it in my opinion. I choose who I let into my world and I’ve created a happy place for that sacrifice.

Thank you for this post. I enjoyed reading it. It made me think. I’ll be returning