* You time yourself to see how fast you can get through the grocery store, cut the grass, or clean the house.
* You are an expert knee driver.
* When a police officer pulls you over for driving 65 in a 40 and asks, “Are you in a hurry?” you honestly reply, “Not particularly.”
* Caffeine isn’t just an addiction; It’s a lifestyle. Mornings are for lattes. Afternoons are for triple espressos. Every other minute is filled with tea, cola, Red Bull, or Excedrin. A non-caffeinated person could get a quick pick-me-up by licking your arm.
* Pedestrians find your heel gating annoying. They sometimes pull over so you can pass.
* People at the grocery store can feel your presence behind them. They pull their carts to the side so you can pass. They do this out of fear and not so much out of politeness.
* You place grocery items on the checkout counter in a particular order, to make them faster to bag.
* If you are in a 15 items or fewer line, you count the items in every cart that happens to be in front of you to make sure no one is cheating.
* You get annoyed when the people in front of you in the grocery line have tons of coupons. You think coupons should be outlawed.
* You get even more annoyed if the person in front of you in the grocery line does not have her money out and is not ready to pay the nanosecond the cashier is ready to take her money.
* You know tailgating is annoying, and you’d stop, too, as long as the other drivers would just go 10 over the speed limit like normal people.
* You hate snowy days mostly because it means everyone else will drive more slowly than usual.
* You think the worst motor vehicle violation—one that should be punishable by loss of driving privileges—is going slow in the fast lane.
* You think the Four Food Groups are: 1) Easy to eat while driving 2) Easy to eat while in front of the computer 3) Easy to eat while talking 4) Easy to eat while talking on the phone and simultaneously checking email.
* You will not eat certain foods for breakfast or lunch if you think they will result in an afternoon food coma.
* Whenever you’ve tried meditation to relax, you’ve thought, “Shouldn’t I be doing something?”
* Among your child’s first words were, “hurry” and “chop chop!”
* When a light turns green and the school bus in front of you does not immediately take off, your 4 year old yells, “Come on School Bus. It’s green It’s green! Let’s go already! Sheesh. Slow drivers!” from the back seat.
* During the relaxation part of the yoga class you are taking to reduce a stress-induced health condition, you decide to do something useful, such as mentally jot down your grocery list.
* You frequently finish other people’s sentences.
* You refuse to communicate with “slow talkers” in any medium other than email.
* If someone leaves a message on your answering machine that lasts more than 30 seconds, you press delete before listening to the whole thing.
* You return certain phone messages with email, because it’s more efficient.
* If you had a nickel for every time someone told you, “Wow, thanks for the fast response,” you’d be rich.
* Going anywhere without your watch is like going anywhere without your pants. It’s just not done.
* You’ve nearly perfected the art of surreptitiously glancing at your watch but, occasionally, one of the Watch Glancing Police catches you and asks, “Do you need to be somewhere?”
* If you exercise aerobically, you either run or skip rope, because “it’s efficient.”
* You burn off about 2000 excess calories every day by shaking your leg.
* You hate small talk, because it doesn’t accomplish anything. Your idea of the perfect conversation starter isn’t, “Hi, how are you?” It’s, “So I called you because…”
* At 3 a.m., when you have insomnia, you think, “Might as well catch up on email.”
* You wish multitasking were an Olympic sport.
* You take your laptop with you on vacation.
* You race other people into restaurants, banks, and any other place where there might potentially be a line, but the other people don’t know you are racing.
* The edges of all of your chairs are worn, but the back rests look brand new.
* You have the fastest computer ever invented, but you wish it were even faster.
Did I miss anything? Leave a comment.
Copyright 2009 Project Happily Ever After
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{ 11 comments… read them below or add one }
Oh my gosh. You’ve been following me, haven’t you?
Yeah I’d say I’m good for about 7 out of 10 of these. Except for the snow one only because there rarely is snow in TX.
When you post your entire blog entry in bullets rather than write it in creative text
LOL.
Since I possess most of these traits, maybe I’m not as laid back as I would like to think?
You are working on a prototype of an iPhone mount for your double stroller so you can exercise, air out the little ones, pick up the preschooler and check your email all at the same time.
Hmmm I can definetly ID with a few of these – mostly timing myself doing the groceries, flying down isles (look out people) and stacking my groceries so they will be packed most effectively (as judged by me!).
Wow! I am pretty sad! This is me and then some
My kids actually yell in the back seat that the light has turned green and everyone needs to go!
Very funny, Alisa. Perhaps I am type B then, since few of your bullets apply to me (anymore). I have learned that a great way to destress is to try to put myself in the other person’s shoes. Usually, this is along the lines of, “I guess someone forgot to take their Prozac today.” Or, “Must be having a bad day. Mine is going better, so go ahead of me in line.” Ultimately, all these moments one keeps track of add up to nothing. Learn to let go and you’ll breath better, deeper and more evenly. I do things for others that were done for me at prior stages of my life — like hold the door for moms with strollers. Or offer an encouraging word to a parent with a crying child. Or give up my seat to a pregnant woman. Or let someone into the flow of traffic. Or say thank you to the service person. Or wait patiently for the service person to do his/her job. Compliment instead of criticize. Smile at a stranger. So relax, Alisa, and count your health as your A#1 blessing. And maybe take your next vacation in a third world country. That’ll permanently change your perspective.
I’ve slowed down a LOT since becoming a mama. Well, that and some Zoloft. However, I’m totally that person in the grocery store who wants those groceries bagged JUST SO.
But at 3:00 AM, I’m more likely to be sewing rather than returning emails. And I only WISH I could burn 2000 calories a day shaking my leg. Then I might actually lose some weight
marty´s last [type] ..Open letters to some of my recent Facebook blockings
oh dear… not really a type A more type Z LOL
Gayle´s last [type] ..Happy Weekend
OMG, scary, funny and accurate all at the same time!
Sandi´s last [type] ..Telling it like it isn’t but should be