Why I wish Michelle Obama would wear fleece
If, for some odd reason, the citizens of the United States decided that they would like my dear husband to run this great country of ours, I would wear fleece to his inauguration.
I’d have my hair in a pony, too.
I’d put sneakers on my feet, and I wouldn’t wear makeup.
I’d announce to the country that I have no plans whatsoever to buy a single cloth napkin, wall hanging, or piece of china during my four to eight year reign as First Lady.
The First Lady Collection
Instead of redecorating the White House for the 44th time, I would give all of the tax money earmarked for that sort of thing—all $100,000 of it—to a good cause. My cause would either be the National Debt or one of the many charities that are in danger of going bankrupt because we’ve recently decided to spend the bulk of our tax dollars not on helping the needy, but instead on helping the un-needy—the already rich bankers who have grown accustomed to their signing bonuses.
Then I’ll launch a reality show titled, “Who can turn this fleece-wearing First Lady into a fashion statement?” Each week I will challenge the country’s top fashion designers to outfit me in clothing that I don’t find itchy. It must look like silk, but not require dry cleaning. It must wear like linen, but not ever be in want of an iron. It must hug every gorgeous curve, but feel as warm and comfy as a fleece tracksuit.
I’d also challenge top hair stylists to do me up in such a way that makes me look pretty, but does not impede my ability to see.
And the country’s top makeup artists would vie to find a way to doll me up without making my face feel as if it is encased in a mud mask.
If I get through an entire day without disrobing, pulling my hair into a pony, or washing my face, the style team from that episode will win a trophy, not to mention a lucrative book deal.
I’m sure it would be the top rated show of my husband’s presidency, because we all know that everyone cares more about what the First Lady wears than about what the First Husband actually does with the country’s tax dollars. Because of that, we’d sell very expensive ads for this show, using the money raised from such advertising to, yet again, help those poor charities or pay down the National Dept even more.
Based on the success of the show, I’d come out with a line of clothing for the every day woman, again using the money raised to keep this great nation of ours financially afloat. Perhaps we’d do a line of shoes, too, and, what the heck, table cloths and fine China while we’re at it.
We’d call it the First Lady Collection.
I think it would be a big hit.
More important, I think it just might allow me to one-up every single First Lady in history. Who cares what color Mary Todd Lincoln painted the oval office when this First Lady single handedly solved the our financial crises while simultaneously easing the fashion burden of every woman in the country, not to mention world.
What with fashionable clothing that feels like fleece, no one would have a reason to be unhappy. With no unhappiness, we just might end road rage. Heck, we might even end up with world peace.
And then my husband would go down in history as the greatest President ever.
That’s okay. I’ll let him take the credit.
Every good First Lady does.
What would you do if you were First Lady? Leave a comment.
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Tags: First Lady, fleece, Michelle Obama
January 19th, 2009 at 4:14 pm
This is, hands down, the best thing I’ve read all week. Thank you…I’m going to tell everyone I know…I hope you make millions off of the idea. I am so right with you on every single thing you just said. You rock.
January 19th, 2009 at 4:21 pm
Fabulous post! It would be wonderful if the government and the people in it were real in exactly this way. We’d likely accomplish so much more of what really matters. Also, this approach would take the sexist filter through which First Ladies are customarily viewed and turn it right on its head. Brava!
January 19th, 2009 at 4:23 pm
I would also challenge the wardrobe peeps to make clothes out of material that is fair-trade, recycled, and manufactured in an eco-friendly way.
What? Is that asking too much.
OK, well I definitely like the idea of giving proceeds to those needy charities.
January 19th, 2009 at 4:31 pm
Oh my god Alisa, this is sooooo needed. I don’t know how tongue-in-cheek you mean to be, but since I believe the person who invented Polartec (the real stuff) should be canonized AND, since Corey and I are trying to figure out how to dress ourselves for all upcoming gigs, I’m just so there with you. THANKS!
January 19th, 2009 at 4:34 pm
forget your husband – alisa for president!
January 19th, 2009 at 4:34 pm
My first order of business would be to outlaw thong underwear and stiletto heels.
January 19th, 2009 at 5:08 pm
Here via Julia via Twitter and I LOVE THIS. Such a unique take on fiscal responsibility that appeals to our hopelessly shallow selves. Wish there was some way to get this to Michelle . . .
January 19th, 2009 at 5:14 pm
Yes, Janine, I agree. I will make the First Lady line nothing but organic and all of the people in the factories who sew it together will be paid a fair wage. They also will get at least a 60 minute lunch break and have a nap room to use as needed.
The products they use on my hair will not have been tested on animals, either.
I think I should challenge the White House cook to make all organic, locally grown meals.
What else?
January 19th, 2009 at 5:33 pm
Ditto Alisa!
I would also take out some of the space from the lavish White House Gardens and make a ‘real’ garden. The staff and residents would grow their own food right there in the backyard of the WH. I would also close down part of the WH mansion (just wasted space and an increased utility bill). Without the extra space, we could cut energy costs, and cut down on salaries for more staff. The money saved could go to empowerment programs for people re-entering the workforce. I would also make my kids more active in household duties-perhaps that could be one less maid (lol), and install all energy efficient appliances, and use candles as much as possible.
Also, no more 10,000 lights on all night outside the WH. Lights out at 10 buddy!
January 20th, 2009 at 12:26 am
Eve, I love the idea of the WH having its own veggie patch! I imagine that it certainly would have had one in earlier times.
January 20th, 2009 at 11:59 am
If it would only happen! Love the post…maybe some brainwaves will reach her!
January 20th, 2009 at 5:07 pm
My mind is reeling contemplating the Smithsonian First Lady Collection going from ball gown to dressy suit to sweats!
January 20th, 2009 at 9:45 pm
Ha! What a great post. I love dressing up so I don’t think I’d don the fleece as First Lady. But you can sure bet that I’d rid the White House of it’s stuffy china and crystal and make sure the Secret Service guys all looked like Paul Walker.
January 21st, 2009 at 10:12 am
This is not only a great post but a really really good idea. For REAL!
September 1st, 2009 at 4:04 am
I get that we are but one country in the world and that Whitehouse and the rest of D.c. is set up to impress the world when it comes to see us, but when the doors are closed and its just us, bring out the comfy clothes and get to the business of running the country without all the high dollar glitze… and maybe the cook could have a night off a couple of times a week and order a pizza with a coupon.
-LauraLea
January 3rd, 2010 at 8:31 am
I love Michelle Obama! She is so intelligent, graceful, stern when she needs to be and she has a wonderful sense of humor.
April 30th, 2010 at 12:11 pm
Michelle Obama is such a wonderful woman. I believe that she would be an excellent first lady.,“