My husband is a dreamboat, and yours can be, too!
My husband is like one of those contestants in The Biggest Loser who makes such an amazing transformation that you are not even sure the man in the end is the same person you saw in the beginning. The difference is that he did not lose weight. Instead, he lost my hatred of him.
There's a prince in there somewhere!
Yeah, that’s right–I used to despise his ass. Not a day went by that I didn’t, you know, wonder how wonderful my life would be if robbers would conveniently shoot him dead.
Oh, I had plenty of scenarios regarding how he might conveniently cause the need for me to plan a funeral, but you get the idea.
I despised him for many reasons. I won’t list all of them because it would make me seem sour and catty. Basically, I felt as if he did not love me or our daughter, and that he showed this lack of love by working too much, going out with his buddies too much, riding his bike too much-basically never being home too much. He talked down to me. He watched me wither away from post partum depression-and not only did he not try to help me, he didn’t even notice that I was going down the tubes.
Okay, I will stop now because if I go on much longer, I might start wanting him dead again.
So that’s the before. Here’s the after. My husband washes the dishes without being asked. He carries heavy things for me. He opens my car door. He asks me to bend over so he can whistle at my rear end. He never misses a moment of me getting dressed or undressed. When I arrive home from the grocery store, he immediately comes outside to help carry in the groceries. Not only is he home a lot more often, he also has stopped asking me whether or not he can go out on nights other than his usual night out.
He even sat through a Woody Allen movie with me, and he didn’t complain once. He actually lied and said that he enjoyed the entire experience.
It’s as if he’s dating me all over again.
When I mentioned recently that I’d gained weight, he looked at me for a really long time and said, “Are you sure? I just don’t see it. You still look skinny to me.”
I made dinner tonight. About my sautéed mushrooms and onions, he said, “Those were the best onions and mushrooms I’ve ever had. How did you make them?”
And he really seemed to want to know.
Oh yes, he is a total dreamboat. He’s as good as they get.
How did I do it? How did I take Mr. Should Be Dead and turn him into Mr. Stay With Me Forever?
I gave him a brain transplant.
Kidding!
I worked really, really hard.
Some of what I did can be found in my guest post “Does your husband annoy you?” at the Storked! blog at Glamour.com.
Here are some additional tips.
State the obvious. Sit down. Acknowledge that you’re one step away from a War of the Roses situation. Say that you want to feel in love again. Talk about what you both need from one another to make that happen.
Forgive the past. Yeah, he may have been a bad, bad boy. Stop dwelling on it. He can’t do anything about it now. Sit down one night, list all of the past things he did or did not do that hurt you, give him a chance to say “I’m sorry,” spank him, and move on. You think I’m kidding about the spanking part, but I so am not. I spank my husband all the time. It makes me feel better, and he seems to like it.
Figure out what you want, and ask for it. Most marriages crumble from lack of communication. We women get pissed off, but we want our men to show how much they love us by guessing not only that we are ticked, but also why we are ticked. Now here’s something important that I’ve learned about men: they do not have ESP. Sorry, they just don’t. If you don’t like something he does or does not do, tell him.
Don’t order him to change. That’s like ordering around a 2 year old or a teen. Just doesn’t work. To get what you want, you need him to want what you want, too. Ask for change because you love him, and because you want your marriage to work–and not because he owes you. Phrase your requests like, “Honey, I would love to be in the mood more often for sex, but I have a hard time getting in the mood when your socks are all over the floor. Could you pick them up more often? I’d really like to jump your sexy bones more often, and you picking up your socks would help me achieve that goal. What do you say?” See? How on Earth could a man argue with such a request?
Argue only when you are calm. If you want to strangle him, you are not calm. Find ways to calm yourself. Have discussions ONLY when you can 1) keep your voice even and perky sounding 2) make eye contact without inflicting optical pain 3) listen to his side of the story without simultaneously thinking about your comebacks and zingers.
Put him on a schedule. You don’t need to be together every single night. You really don’t. You both need space, and that space will dramatically improve your marriage. You’ll both develop an identity. More important, when you separately go out into the big world outside of your house, you come home with stuff that you can actually talk about. Give him a night out—just for him. Give yourself such a night two. Have a family night, and have a date night. Try to make your date night a sex night. That way your sex life will stay alive.
Accept what you cannot change. No man is perfect. He might be good in bed, but a terrible conversationalist. He might be super neat, but not so good with an oven mitt. Reward his strengths and accept the weaknesses that are wired into his DNA.
Have sex, even if you don’t want to. Yes, it’s that important. Just do it. If you can’t get in the mood, watch girl on girl erotica or read something similar. Really—don’t call me nasty until you’ve tried it. For more ways to get in the mood, see 12 surefire ways to get in the mood.
Be patient. It took my husband a year and a half to fully make this transformation. There were plenty of moments along the way when I thought the funeral was definitely the better option. It’s like training a kid to stop biting his nails. It takes a long time to break a bad habit. Please note: not every man can be trained and not every marriage can be saved. If he doesn’t want to change, or if any amount of change will not make you happy, it might be time to consider the funeral, um, I mean divorce papers.
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Tags: dreamboat, marriage, Marriage Advice, post partum depression, sex, Woody Allen
December 3rd, 2008 at 5:43 pm
Amber at Capessa just sent me your way… woo hoo! Look at what I’ve been missing. Wow.
I just commented on your Glamour post today, too. (Way to go!)
It’s rare to read such honest writing about marriage… thank you.
December 5th, 2008 at 7:59 am
I just found your blog by way of Twitter (by way of….can’t remember).
I love this blog!!! Abso-friggin-loutly love it and this particular post made me a) envious and b) laugh.
Keep it up. I look forward to reading!
December 9th, 2008 at 2:56 pm
Thanks to you both! Positive comments make my day. I blog because I’m too scared to submit essays and have them rejected.
December 30th, 2008 at 9:09 am
Your link to “12 surefire ways to get in the mood.” in the above text is broken. Worse, the link in “Or, start from scratch at http://www.ProjectHappilyEverAfter.com” at your “Oh No, This Can’t Be Good!” page is also broken.
Aside from that, I’m enjoying reading your blog. I’m a “reformed husband” also – though I reformed myself. We’ve been married 41 years now and are still in love, so I guess I got some of it right
You are going in my RSS.
March 3rd, 2009 at 5:09 am
I am very impressed that you spank your husband Alisa. It really inspires me. I love to be spanked by my wife as well but I wish I was a little freer in it. I find it’s not hard enough at times and I think she would be embaressed if I mention implements. I keep away from the punishment mentality though as I think that would lead to unhealthy things for me. I just keep it erotic. It’s important I have her respect.
Blondie
June 10th, 2009 at 5:13 pm
Over time the symptoms of depression got easier to handle as I developed an understanding of the disease, and tireless work on my self from a bunch of angles reaped enormous benefits. Would you agree with this approach?
August 3rd, 2009 at 6:31 pm
As a guy reading this, I find it perturbing.
It seems like the husband’s side is curiously left out here. Does he want to change? Does he share your idea of what a “dreamboat” is? What are his views, opinions, goals and desires?
Or are you advocating strong-arming him into it with these psychological tricks?
Voluntary participation from both partners is key to lasting change in a marriage.
One big red flag was the implied acceptance of deceit in this relationship.
No principled man would lie to his wife just to keep the peace, or to keep his wife happy, whether it was a movie he didn’t really enjoy, or her body, an adulterous romance he is having on the side, or sexually transmitted disease he might have acquired.
Marital bliss is not reached by throwing truth under a bus, but by emotional self-discipline, principles and the dedication of time and energy towards each others happiness within boundaries.
August 12th, 2009 at 1:46 pm
I love your advice and the way you convey things so freely and matter of factly.
In reading your advice you write that you really spank your husband.
Are you talking about erotic foreplay type of spanking or a no nonsense sound spanking for punishment?
If it’s the latter, how long are the effects felt by your husband and, how do I initiate it in my marriage?
Besides the millions of readers you have, does anyone close to you i.e family or friends know about it and how is that handled? I think if I spanked my husband he would hate for anyone else to know.
If it works I want to start this in our marriage so I’m open to any tips or advice.
Has anyone else done this?
Vicki R.
September 21st, 2009 at 10:41 am
Though I haven’t seen a response to my question I did implement spanking into our marriage and it definitly has had short term positive results.
(I also did a google search and found a couple good sites that aren’t porn on the subject.)
My husband has been out of work and the saying about idle hands…seems to be true.
I came home early to find my husband partially undressed,looking at the Victoria’s Secret website on the computer and let’s just say his “hand” wasn’t idle.
I was furious, he was totally embarassed and ready to do anything I said at the moment.
I made him get up, I exchanged places with him at the desk and ordered him to lay down over my lap. He was confused and I let him know straight out my intentions and then gave him the choice of bending over my lap or packing his clothes!
All of a sudden he wanted to act grown up and discuss things. I gave him a three count and got up to get a suitcase for him. He saw I was serious and opted to go face down, bare bottom up. I started slowly.
Unfortunatly for him the website was still up and it fueled my fire. I ended up spanking hard,fast and very deliberatly as I scolded and lectured him. I didn’t even think about what I was doing as it came pretty naturally in the heat of the moment.
When I let him up he was very sorry and apolegetic.
He was even more embarrassed as I did a history search on our computer and found more adult websites as he stood next to me in silence.
He got it again only this time I used a wooden ruler from the desk.
That was only three weeks ago and it was not the last time my husband received a spanking.
My husband is still unemployed so he now does most of the housework,he’s very attentive to me and seems much more kinder or respectful. His sex drive has increased or is focused back on me and he is initiating in the bedroom again. Almost everything is being completed during the week so we are able to enjoy the w/e together.
I feel I have a good control of the situation and our marriage. I’m teaching my husband to be more goal or task oriented and organized. I now give him a weekly list to be completed, including job searches, which he breaks down into days. We “discuss” (communication there’s a concept) his accomplishments daily. If his list is not completed daily or weekly without a valid reason I put him over my knee.
From my minimal research I’ve found that other women who employ these methods opt for a sturdy wooden brush to spank their point home and spare their hands. My husband was quite surprised when I came home with my own and gave it an on the spot test drive. It worked!
I find that a serious look or just asking if I need to get my brush is starting to work wonders when needed.
I can’t speak for anyone else but so far in a short span of time, spanking my husband has helped in our marriage. I also love the feeling of (positive) control I have now.
Not to mention, my husband has a cute butt and I think it’s even cuter when it’s pink and he’s doting on me!
Vicki
September 21st, 2009 at 2:36 pm
Love your blog!
I have been spanking my husband for the past year. What a change!! The harder I beat his bottom, the more he loves and appreciates me. Domestic discipline works for us and I am happy you also get positive results.
I need help with my lectures…any advice?
January 14th, 2010 at 5:07 pm
I don’t really know about lectures as I am not dominated only spanked by her. What it does to me is that it almost make me worship her. It is not domination it just somehow releases a deep urge in me that somehow she has tapped into and I feel I want to worship her and do anything for her. I’ve never believed in punishment, so it is not that. I’m not the lazy type and earn good money but I can say that the spanking has blessed my marriage and makes me want to please her sexually in any way I can. I don’t think all men are built this way. I know a lot of women are.
February 25th, 2010 at 3:31 pm
To “ISpankMyHusband in FL” regarding lectures.
I think it’s important if you’re lecturing not to nag.
Nagging is like whining in order to get a reaction or change and it’s negative without positive results.
Lecturing seems to be more of firmly stating the facts. When I lecture I also bring up points that were addressed with questions. I.e, You agreed that you would be in bed by 12 didn’t you?, or You promised to clean out the basement by Saturday,right? What time did you come too bed?,What’s today?
If I ask a question more often than not it’s to hear an answer from my husband not just to ask a question. If I’m just asking to hear myself then it becomes nagging in my opinion and I really don’t think men respect us when we do that.
Also a lecture is just that (unless I’ve asked a question that demands a response). I’m speaking firmly, not yelling. I’m staying calm and resolute and I will have the final word on this matter. My husband has come to respect my discussions,my lectures and even our daily communication. He interrupts a heck of a lot less than he did because he takes me seriously. That is in part because I now take what I have to say seriously,but I’m not overbearing either.
If you’ve read my posts from above then you know that I’ve taken a lot of the advice from this site to heart and it has worked for us. That includes spanking. My husband has done a 180 in our relationship and in his professional life. He’s gotten a good job and he really applies himself. (Or he knows the little woman will apply her palm or hairbrush where it will do the most good! lol but true.)
One of my husband’s issues was coming to bed too late and then suffering the negative effects of it. I suffered also because he would have an attitude from being tired. When he got his new job I decided we needed to end the cycle.
We sat down and discussed the issue like adults.When we went off point it was brought back to the subject until we agreed on a time that he’d be in bed by, nightly.
The first week he watched the game and it ran late. We’ll we didn’t make any provision for the game running late so I stood in front of the TV and asked him if he’d rather honor his agreement with me or get paddled? “He” turned off the TV and realized if your going to make an agreement you have to honor it and also work out the details prior. (This has helped him in bus.)
Did he mess up again and stay up late? Absolutly. Did I paddle him good? Absoluty! But he knows the choice is his as are the consequences to his choices. It’s nothing more than boundries. If he decides he will complete a chore prior to going golfing then he can’t go golfing unless he completes said chore. He whines and tries to manipulate me (Like a boy would) but more often then not I stick to my guns unless there is a really good reason not too. But if I’m sticking to “his” agreement and he pushes too far I either offer him a spanking which stops his tantrum or I bend him over and give him a good wake up call!
I think I’m learning that inside every man is a boy who needs to be tamed but not broken. Men generally don’t respect weak women or women who try to be manly. We need to be confident in who we are in our strength and femininity.
I feel it’s true that behind every good man is a good woman.
I love my husband and how he has improved so much along with our relationship.
February 26th, 2010 at 8:07 am
Personally I have my own self control as that is what I think people should have. My wife is subject to me as it happens and not the other way around. I am definitely the head of the house. I would spank her if she liked it but she doesn’t.
Just because a man likes to be spanked erotically it doesn’t mean he has to be like the above mentioned husband. Many are like this. Women and men. However this domestic discipline brings in soemthing else which I personally feel is unhealthy. Some of these men have been feminised and deneutrered in my opinion. Next step slavery? It happens you know.
May 6th, 2010 at 7:25 pm
I think that the general posting makes sense, but the spanking sounds rediculous to me. He’s an adult, not a child. We can be confident and stick up for ourselves, but we should not punish our spouse for bad behavior. That’s not what a partnership/marriage is about. What if it was the man doing it? Women would be outraged, would they not?
May 10th, 2010 at 6:49 am
I agree it is absolutely rediculous. Both partners are adults not children. It can happen for sexual reasons if one or both ar made that way but to discipline your spouse is weird. Maybe it is a pretend thing and they get a thrill from it?
May 10th, 2010 at 11:27 am
I must have missed this one, so I’m going back and reading older blogs.
This one is hillarious! The sock thing is great!
May 10th, 2010 at 1:52 pm
I am a man in love, married for 40 years. I adore your your site. I love my wife, who spanks me when I need it.
We have an antique wooden paddle, made for the school room in the Great Depression, and handed down through my grandparents and parents.
When it is time [or past time] for me to submit, time for her to meet my needs, to paddle me hard, we both acknowledge the power of the moment.
I retrieve the paddle, pull down my pants and underwear, and go over her lovely lap. My member is trapped and held between her thighs, and I am not allowed up until uncomfortably reddened and totally submissive and cooperative.
She is committed to pleasing me in these moments, and my devotion to her has never been deeper. I want to meet her needs, whatevever they may be.
May 10th, 2010 at 1:52 pm
I am a man in love, married for 40 years. I adore your your site. I love my wife, who spanks me when I need it.
We have an antique wooden paddle, made for the school room in the Great Depression, and handed down through my grandparents and parents.
When it is time [or past time] for me to submit, time for her to meet my needs, to paddle me hard, we both acknowledge the power of the moment.
I retrieve the paddle, pull down my pants and underwear, and go over her lovely lap. My member is trapped and held between her thighs, and I am not allowed up until uncomfortably reddened and totally submissive and cooperative.
She is committed to pleasing me in these moments, and my devotion to her has never been deeper. I want to meet her needs, whatever they may be.
May 12th, 2010 at 7:03 am
What are we learning here? Not much. Just tittilation for you. Do you have to go into every detail of what you do? It’s a shame as I thought we could have got somewhere.
May 13th, 2010 at 2:05 pm
yeah odd,
also why double post this?
May 14th, 2010 at 7:10 am
There are a lot like that these days. They seem to have to describe every physical detail instead of sticking to a point. They are obviously switched on by it. Afterwards the whole point of a discussion goes by the board.
May 15th, 2010 at 3:49 pm
hello,
re: don’t order him to change, the part about “how on earth can a man argue w/such a request, about the socks and sex, well, I have one that would….
so now what?
May 17th, 2010 at 3:14 am
If it is affecting your sex there is nothing wrong in mentioning it. That is if you are being truthful. Most women like a man to be clean and washed in the bedroom. A similar thing. One doesn’t want to put their wives off sex so a man would give it his attention I would think. As a man I know I would. If it becomes a way of manipulating a man then there is something else going on which isn’t healthy. Sometimes it helps me in the bedroom if she wears stockings and suspenders and I tell her so. Really both should not ever withhod sex but is is not wrong to mention things which are hinderances to you.
June 8th, 2010 at 8:27 pm
I am a man who was in a ‘not so happy’ relationship, I didn’t like myself much but couldn’t be bothered to change. I was a slob. My wife, who is the most caring and gentle person I have ever met, slapped my arse once when we were messing around, I challenged her by saying that she couldn’t hurt meand to prove it I went across her knee, she went to town, and while she was doing it she told me more than a few home truths. We had amazing sex after, you know how sometimes sex is good and sometimes its just sex and you feel a bit let down? This was loving and lustful, gentle and rough, she was like a different woman I did everything she likes because I wasn’t thinking about emptying my balls, I was completely focused on pleasing her.
It awakened something in me, something I can’t explain I was scared and excited at the same time, and I wanted it again. I also felt very differently towards my long suffering wife, I actually wanted to help her out, I started washing up, tidying and cleaning I no longer ignored the broken drawer, I got the tools out an went round fixing everything, doing all the jobs she had asked me to do and I’d not bothered with.
It felt good, really good, we seemed closer I felt like I’d just met her all over again.
Suddenly I was happy to jump up and do what she asked, not out of fear but out of love, overwhelming love. Nothing is too much trouble anymore, I enjoy treating her like a lady.
I get spanked and believe me it hurts like hell, especially if I’ve upset her. I get told what I’ve done to deserve it. Once she has finished we have a kiss and a cuddle and she tells me that we are good again. Nothing I do is ever brought up again, my slate is clean and most importantly she is happy.
I overheard a conversation she had with one of her friends and she was singing my praises and it made me feel great, I really am a ‘good husband’ at last.
I had never wanted to be slapped in fact I always thought it was a bit strange. I am not bullied or forced to do this if I said “No.” it wouldn’t happen. I have not been ‘feminised’ I actually feel more of a man, especially when I remember how horrible I was. I used to go two or three days without washing (YEUK!) not only do I wash and shave my face every day now, I have shaved everything below as well, took ages, she absolutely loves it.
We are both very much in love, we have a fabulous sex life and I am very happy.
June 9th, 2010 at 2:35 pm
I know the feeling. I feel similar to you after it happens. I felt so close and wanted to do everything to keep the closeness. The only difference is mine wasn’t punishment but I was never a slob. I don’t believe in being dominated in that way and certainly not feminised. Keeping ones masculinity is important. For me it’s just sex where I need it. I suppose she is touching an area that fires me and stirs the love I have for her. I know it is strange but it works for us. It is done in love, nothing like these angry looking cartoons where the woman has a frown on her face. She has really honoured me in doing something that she could have easily felt strange doing. That is what makes it extra special. I feel loving and close to her just writing this.
June 9th, 2010 at 8:05 pm
I was a 24 carat arsehole, I did and said things that even I didn’t like. I was a lazy, useless excuse for a man. God knows why she put up with me for so long, but I’m very glad she did.
She has changed me, I like myself now, I feel good doing things for her. I have promised to change my ways before and it usually lasts about two days, this has been going on for two months…..
I see posts on here trying to analyse it, “Its a control issue.” “You have been feminised!” “Its unhealthy” etc. etc. You know what? I don’t care if all thats true because it has changed me into the person I always wanted to be.
My wife enjoys spanking me and is clearly very turned on by it so I often get it just because she feels like it. I wouldn’t say that I am punished its more like I upset her and that gives her an excuse to get an extra one in.
Yes it is strange, and yes it works for us too as it appears to for many other couples. I am happy, she is happy and the price is a sore bum 2 or 3 times a week, I’d have paid much more…………….
June 10th, 2010 at 12:14 pm
Thats the part I don’t get. Feminisation. If God made us men why be feminised? What has that got to do with anything? That is the part that freaks me out albeit it is only a small minority hopefully. Is this the outcome of being dominated outside of the bedroom? I pray to God that never happens to me. I am very careful to only wear men’s clothes and take the responsibility that God gave me in the home. Hearing of this sort of thing only makes me more determined to steer clear of it. I know my wife would freak out as well if I started that. Because one likes to be spanked as a husband for sexual reason only it doesn’t mean that one has to descend into feminisation.
June 11th, 2010 at 1:53 am
I certainly don’t feel ‘feminised’ I have no inclination to wear womens clothes, I also know that my wife wouldn’t ask me too because her ex was a cross dresser and she said it was a turn off. Hairy legs in stockings (Yeuk!).
I have been with my wife for 18 years and we only just discovered what really turns her on, the effect it has had on me is a bonus. The things I now do for her I do because I want to, she doesn’t order me around or give me a list of jobs. I have never had to ask for her permission to do anything, I do ask out of respect for her.
I am a changed man but I am still a man, I’m 6ft 3in, 15 stone biker with a shaven head and a goatee beard, thats probably about as far from ‘feminised’ as you could possibly get. I think this is one of those things that for those who know no explanation is necessary and for those that don’t know, no explanation is possible.
June 11th, 2010 at 2:36 am
I’m pleased to hear it Bikerman.
June 21st, 2010 at 3:41 am
Gracious!!! This has got to be the bizarrest thing I’ve ever heard of. I darn near peed my pants laughing so hard over Vicki’s 2nd post – seriously. I got online though because I’m frustrated with my husband. A few months ago he had a short emotional affair, he ended it, chose to stay, go to counseling and work on things… but most of the time I feel like I’m doing all the work. He just kind’of coasts. I can totally relate to wishing God would take him home sometimes or make him love me better. I’m still in the thick of the grieving process so sometimes I feel these flashes of fury about the whole thing that I feel like beating something with a bat or ramming my truck into the garage gate – but maybe I should just whoop that man’s arsnic. I don’t know – couldn’t it be construed as spousal abuse, what if he gets mad or doesn’t like it? I can just see it now – me walloping his behind with a wooden spoon and him calling the cops to tell on me for spanking him. Or him leaving because he thinks I’ve gone kookoobananas. Besides, how would I explain spanking Daddy to my kids? Spanking hasn’t exactly worked that great on them, although I did carry a concealed wooden spoon in the diaper bag to church today to remind my firey 4 year old not to throw another fit or run around irreverently and it seemed to work. I don’t want to be feared though – I want to be adored and revered. I wish getting the love I want and need was as simple as spanking him.
June 26th, 2010 at 11:19 pm
I think most of the people replying back are missing the main message here…it is NOT about momma spanking daddy. Nobody is trying to tell the women to start dominating their husbands. The author of this article is simply showing that there are subtle ways a woman can communicate her wishes without being a witch and seems to get excellent results. In the end everybody wins, there is not a win/lose proposal but rather a different approach to changing or rather guiding your marriage into a very loving and healthy relationship.
Jake´s last blog ..How To Stop Divorce
June 29th, 2010 at 6:46 am
Hmm I think it could be an answer for a small minority where the wife is frustrated and the husband may be lazy or a bit of a slob. I could never imagine my wife doing that to me in that sense. I am self regulating and do take her wishes into account. Doing that to me would be very bizarre to say the least and I could never ever imagine it happening in my marriage. Where certain men do respond who for some reason think they need it I cannot comment. I caution against putting it forward as a one size fits all which I don’t think Alisa is trying to do anyway. it would not work without a husband submitting to it and there is always the danger of it being clouded by BDSM and there the whole thing would fall apart.
June 29th, 2010 at 6:43 pm
I get updates from this site and there is a lot more info to be had here than just this one page.
I don’t understand why Blondie seems to be parked on this subject or how he became the expert as to what is normal and okay based on his likes in the bedroom.
I also think for a man who doesn’t want to be “feminized” his choice of a username is very effeminate and questionable.
His desire to be spanked (which is a form of domination even when mutual) is similar to other men here. He’s turned on by it and no one is complaining so let’s have some mutual respect and acceptance.
My husband has responded favorably to spanking and I will continue as needed. I’ve come to be turned on by spanking my husband, the authority that comes with it, the great positive changes I’ve seen in our relationship and he doesn’t seem to mind. He’s an adult and could put his foot down and stop it but hasn’t. Maybe he’s had the same reaction as Blondie when he’s spanked and wants to worship his wife etc.
I agree that spanking etc. may not be for everyone but for our relationship, I find a good “pants down discussion” with my hairbrush, hand or paddle works nicely.
Vicki
vreed71@yahoo.com
June 29th, 2010 at 11:58 pm
How do I go about introducing this idea to my wife. I would love to have a fresh start in our relationship. It would be more than worth a spanking ocassionly to put the zest back in our marrige ?
July 2nd, 2010 at 7:06 am
I stand by my comments Vicki and obviously we move on different wavelengths. I don’t know why you think that I think I am the expert. Far from it. Yes the name Blondie does seem feminine but I was always called that as a child so it stuck. I don’t think you own this site and there should be room for different respectful comments. I simply find it bizarre that someone would beat their spouse for their faults. I was trying to find out more. The sex and the discipline is a contradiction as I see it.
July 2nd, 2010 at 9:54 am
WOW, this has been going on since 2008???
OMG, I wonder why?? I will admit it is interesting to read.
Few comments I would love 2 make. What does it matter what 2 people do behind closed doors ?
After I read a few of the comments, I can see that people are mad here, and when someone makes a comment, even about their own experiences (people comment back, like they own the site or they manage it or are they just pissed off, that things work for others and not for them?) I wonder why? I am new to this, (site anyways), I have been giving advice and for many years reading tarot for people/friends and I really think that as long as no one is hurting some1 else, WTH, post away, tell us your secrets/lies tell us what makes it work for you, and don’t be shy!
And, re: screen names, isn’t it up to the individual to choose his/her name, we have no right to judge someone by there name on here, OMG, only God Can Judge) not trying to be religous here, just my opinion. And doing some research it seems that this type of sexual (pleasure)man/woman has been going on for centuries. I just hope that some1 doesn’t hurt another person), meaning definately approach your partner before you go get the paddle out, there are adults here that were abused, with a paddle/brush or board of education so to speak, from years ago, I remember that one!
But, if no one gets hurt emotional or physically why does it matter? and Because it works for some, it could create divorce for others, while researching this subject, the wife on the other hand was the submissive one and her hubby the one spanking and he did not talk b4 the action, and come to find out, she used to be tied to a chair as a child and spanked repeatedly her younger years until she got big enough to say enough is enough and then when her hubby did that (big flash back came), she slapped him across the face, then walked out the door!
I guess it just has to be something that both parties wants, and all reseach has come to religous beliefs, i found that interesting.
PS, I think a new topic should be presented and maybe a continuation of this one, but going on since 2008, wow…Must of been one of the best of blogs or something.
PSS, So, If U R the 1 that was spanked, Did U REALLY like it…????