I crave romance almost as much as I crave chocolate chip cookies and cannolis. Yet, after 9 years of marriage, stereotypical romantic gestures–such as flowers, gifts, and dinner and a movie dates–no longer excite me.
I love flowers, too. It’s just that they’ve lost their romantic power. Their meaning has changed for me over the years. No longer do flowers tell me that I rock my husband’s world. Instead they tell me that he wants something, and that something usually isn’t sex. It’s usually something like my permission for him to go on a 10-day cycling trip in Belgium.
Flowers are also expensive. Same with dinner and a movie dates. In this economy, a romance starved married woman needs simple, cheap, and effective strategies to suggest to her man. This is why I’ve come up with this Top 10 List. I plan to give it to my husband so he can periodically pick and choose from the list, satisfying my craving for romance.
1. Blindfold me and feed me dark chocolate followed by red wine.
2. Put on an apron and make me dinner. There’s nothing sexier than a man in an apron. I will lavishly reward you for your efforts. I promise.
3. Hold my hand and lead me to the living room, where you’ve assembled a wine and cheese picnic for us.
4. Suggest we rent a movie you don’t particularly like, but you know I want to see.
5. Wear a suit. Put on some music. Ask me to dance with you to one song. You look sexy in a suit, and you only wear them to weddings and funerals. Let’s change that.
6. When our daughter crawls into our bed at 7:30 a.m. on a weekend morning, say, “No honey, you stay in bed. I’ll get up.” Then close the door. Then make me breakfast.
7. Give me a full body massage, without expecting one in return.
8. On your regularly scheduled Night Out, stay home because you know I’m tired and because you know I need a break. Draw me a bath. Tell me to get in and relax. Entertain our daughter while I obey. Expect nothing in return.
9. Suggest we take a walk together.
10. Suggest we ride bikes through town as a family.
How would you like your man to romance you? Do you have affordable romantic ideas to suggest? Tell me your ideas in the comments area.
Copyright 2008 Project Happily Ever After
No related posts.
Related posts brought to you by Yet Another Related Posts Plugin.
TAY (2)
50 Proposals (1)
Alexandra (1)
Ande Lyons (1)
Angelina Whiteney (1)
Artemisia (1)
AS (1)
ash (1)
Christine (1)
Conrad Lotz (1)
{ 19 comments… read them below or add one }
All are excellent suggestions, though I dare say, unlikely scenarios
. However, I do think a man should be able to manage at least half the things on your list. I would only add one caveat, if he agrees to put on an apron and make dinner, make sure to add “do the dishes afterwards,” to your request. That’s one loophole, they like to try and get through 
. Good luck!
Happy Romance.
Wow! These would all rock my world … but I must say … I was a goner at Number 1! Love the wine and chocolate idea. In fact, I’m going to email this list to my man and see how he does. I love it when we just go to the river in talk … maybe have a drink together … or since I play tennis and he doesn’t … it’s great when he suggests we go hit the tennis ball on our date night … it means the world to me since it’s all about me. Thanks for the great suggestions … they put a smile on my face. *SmiLes* Suzanne
These are great ideas. I agree that so many things are expensive, but simple things can be just as romantic.
Those are really cute suggestions and way more romantic than the typical flowers & gifts…I’m a total romantic!
Here’s a cheap suggestion that we tried yesterday: go hiking somewhere remote…leave everything at home, grab some sandwiches from a nearby deli and hike up to the top of a mountain where you can sit down, talk and enjoy your mini picnic. There are no distractions on the mountaintop…it’s beautiful! =)
Love these ideas. The most important point is that women generally think men should KNOW THIS STUFF! I’ve been married 40 years and I can guarantee, they don’t! As long as we sit around expecting them to be romantic (OK, I know, a few amazing ones are), we’re going to be disappointed.
One year, as my anniversary gift to myself, I took my husband’s day planner and on the first Monday of every month, I wrote in, “Do something wonderful for Lynn.”
Then I made a list of about 50 things that he could do to me that were wonderful in my mind.
On the list was “send me flowers at work for no reason.” So one day I get called to the front desk. Lovely bouquet awaits me. (Handpicked, by the way, he even went to a friend’s garden at my request!). As I was taking the flowers back to my office, at least a half dozen people commented on them and asked, “What’s the occasion?”
“No occasion,” I responded happily.
“Wow! You must have SOME husband.”
So he got credit, I got the flowers and we were both feeling very snuggly when we got home that night.
I’ve never been a flowers kind of gal so traditional romance has never really done it for me. I love all of your suggestions but there are a few I could add.
1) When I’ve had a rough day at work listen to me with out trying to solve my problems and when I’m through tell me everything will work out fine and give me a hug. Then pour me a glass of wine and offer to make dinner.
2) Offer to rub my feet while we watch our favorite show or movie.
3) Offer to take the kids or keep them busy while I have an hour to myself to read or take a bath.
4) Daydream with me about the future and what great things lay ahead for us.
Those are just a few of the ideas that I thought of that I’m lucky enough to get on occasion.
Some great suggestions. I would say most men don’t realize how easy it is to make their wives happy. All of these suggestions take a minimal amount of effort, but that is the key… effort. In fact, I would hazard a guess that for many couples it would take even less work than the suggestions offered here. An unsolicited compliment, turning off the TV once the kids are in bed to talk, eye contact!
It doesn’t take long for complacency to set into a marriage and it is a difficult to break the cycle once it has. It is definitely helpful to have a list or an easy system to remember to do these things so that eventually they become a habit. And, remember it works both ways. Men aren’t the only ones who sometimes need a kick-start (or kick in the pants) to make an effort to address their partner’s needs in a relationship. Men typically do not analyze or articulate their emotional/romantic needs as often or as well as women, however, that doesn’t mean they don’t have them.
I’m all for quick, mini day trips. There’s nothing more awesome than a surprise “Let’s go to the beach!” announcement. Packing your cooler, picking up sandwiches from Subway for lunch…awww, my favorite.
Great post. My husband manages to consistently take the kids in the morning on the weekends for me. I just wish he’d wake up at night when I really needed him! Oh well. Kidding. He does a lot of them which made me feel good. I think we should all create our own romance lists and share them with our husbands. They should share theirs with us…we’d all be happier! Great post!
Excellent post and very needed. I see so many couples that loose their excitement. What we all need is to stay creative and sensitive to the needs of our spouse. The more we fuel the fire, the greater the blaze will become. You not only gave great ideas, but also essential insight that all couples need to be reminded of.
Great Post! It really is so easy to please us girls and yet it seems the guys have no direction…go figure. I love #1 which we have never done and I look forward to suggesting. Since we are wine buffs, it would be fun to do a tasting too. I have to say last night my husband surprised me with a mid week surprise, concert tickets for tomorrow night and dinner. Now we are not seeing my favorite band mind you, but the intentions were there:)
Love this… you could write a book on just this subject.
I agree that romance changes and I think giving him ideas can be a good idea. But I will say that when I find ways to romance my husband he usually looks for ways to romance me back. And when he tries and surprises me with something I didn’t ask for, THAT is romance.
What good ideas….. i especially like #6
romance takes on a whole new meaning after kids doesnt it??
One night my husband drew a bubble bath for me, had candles lit all around the bath tub and tea candles floating in the tub. Four years and two toddlers later romance has been reduced to a quicky in the shower. Hey, we get it how we can!
But something he is still able to do that is really romantic is give me pedicures. That man’s hands are straight from heaven!
Wow, some really good ideas here.
I’m a sucker for flowers, and I don’t care if they were picked from our garden or stlen form the neighbours! It’s the thought that counts!
Input from a man :
> 1. Blindfold me and feed me dark chocolate followed by red wine.
Good call. One can never have too much chocolate or sexy play. Or wine, but then I’m French.
> 2. Put on an apron and make me dinner. There’s nothing sexier than a man in an apron. I will lavishly reward you for your efforts. I promise.
Yes. Food is aphrosdisiac. Cooking it makes girls swoon. Usually.
> 3. Hold my hand and lead me to the living room, where you’ve assembled a wine and cheese picnic for us.
OK, this is getting silly. Food = Sex, we get it. Stop humping the fridge.
> 4. Suggest we rent a movie you don’t particularly like, but you know I want to see.
Don’t. Or do, invite her friends and then go to a sports bar. No man should have to suffer through a chick flick. Period. What kind of sadist would expect you to do that?
> 5. Wear a suit. Put on some music. Ask me to dance with you to one song. You look sexy in a suit, and you only wear them to weddings and funerals. Let’s change that.
Sure, *if* she keeps buying lingerie. But seriously, it wouldn’t hurt you to look good, from time to time. And dance is the food of love – just do it.
> 6. When our daughter crawls into our bed at 7:30 a.m. on a weekend morning, say, “No honey, you stay in bed. I’ll get up.” Then close the door. Then make me breakfast.
Not so much a romance move as a “please-don’t-rip-my-head-off” one, but remember to emphasize the times you do something nice for her. If it becomes a habit she’ll just assume it’s normal and rip your head when you *don’t* do it.
> 7. Give me a full body massage, without expecting one in return.
Bodily contact. Can’t get wrong on that score, man. And work on those thighs…
And honey? Get real. If he gives you a massage you *know* what he wants in return. And you want it too. So cup the crap and get with the program.
> 8. On your regularly scheduled Night Out, stay home because you know I’m tired and because you know I need a break. Draw me a bath. Tell me to get in and relax. Entertain our daughter while I obey. Expect nothing in return.
Again, a “please-don’t-rip-my-head-off” move. If she’s there, you’ve been inconsiderate for some time. Get it right or divorce her.
> 9. Suggest we take a walk together.
Seriously, she’s *that* easy? Boy, either you’re lucky or she’s lying to make it to 10.
> 10. Suggest we ride bikes through town as a family.
See number 9.
That was fun.
This blog has been a useful read and I will tell my friends about it thanks
that was awesome and so nice of you