I'm so pretty!
I was reading Penelope Trunk’s blog today and came across a comment that stopped me cold. It said, “Narcissist.. Narcissistic.. Self indulgent.. Tired…”
This person was verbally harassed by a number of other people (including me). Yet his comment speaks to a larger rift that is growing in the blogging community.
There is a camp of old school bloggers—mostly if not all composed of men—who think that How To blogs should be the only blogs on the Internet. How To blogs are the types of blogs that teach you How To Do something. There are millions of them. There are even blogs about how to blog. Interestingly, it’s mostly the How To Write a Blog bloggers who are most concerned about this issue.
These bloggers are apparently threatened by the huge growth of entertainment blogs, which are blogs that entertain you with story telling. They particularly seem to despise blogs about parenting and motherhood. Think of an Entertainment blog as a memoir, but much shorter. It tells a story about the author’s life. It’s the virtual version of David Sedaris or Nora Ephron in 800 words or fewer.
My blog is sometimes How To and sometimes Entertainment and, perhaps, sometimes dreadfully boring, but that’s neither here nor there.
The How To bloggers are so worried about entertainment blogs that they are running around calling us all narcissists. In case it’s been a while since you’ve studied for the SATs, a narcissist is someone who is in love with his own image.
You know what I have to say to being called a Narcissist? So doesn’t hurt. Come on, can you do any better than that? I’ve been called much worse. Oh, and I have one more thing to say. Is that the biggest word you know?
Here’s one blog that spends an inordinate amount of time hashing out this so-called issue: http://socialmediarockstar.com/social-media-rockstars-vs-narcissists
Really, this is a stupid argument. It’s like walking into a bookstore, pulling all of the memoirs off the shelves, sticking them in a pile, and burning them as you chant, “Narcissists! Damn narcissists!”
By the way, I’ve never heard anyone describe How To books as “great literature.” Nope, never happens. Memoirs on the other hand tend to win the Pulitzer. Just saying.
The Internet is a big place. It’s big enough for all of us. It’s not only big enough for How To blogs and Entertainment blogs, it’s also big enough for Good Blogs and Bad Blogs. It’s even big enough for Porn and the Christian Right. There’s enough space for all of us. Really, there is. And if you don’t like us self-absorbed Enough About You Let’s Talk About Me Types, then stop reading our stuff!
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{ 8 comments… read them below or add one }
I don’t see there being a firm dichotomy between “How to” and “Personal blogs.” Nor do I think there is anything wrong with writing a blog about your personal experiences and opinions. The true narcissist’s blog, however, is personal, introverted, FOCUSED ENTIRELY ON THEMSELF… taking a grandiose view of their own talents and ability and shamelessly craving admiration.
“Here are my opinions / views / unique perspectives” is totally different than “Look at me! Handsome pictures of me! Awesome accomplishments of me! Please leave comments saying how great I am!”
These people obviously have no ability to differentiate between narcissism and self-reflection/introspection. Your columns deal with issues that many of us think about and must deal with–but we’re often too embarrassed to discuss. So, kudos to you. Talk about signal to noise ratio! The irony is that these, ahem, critics are displaying their own form of narcissism in criticizing others!
Oh, well I am a self professed narcissist. I named my blog the cool mom guide. That means I think I’m Cool enough to create a guide for everyone else to lie by. Ha. I like to talk (write) and I like for people to listen (read) even more. Those how to blogs annoy the turd out of me. Everything I see is about trying to make money. I write because I love it. I blog for the popularity of it, not the money. I want to be known and loved and I can and do admit that freely. You, my super awesome friend, are right on the money.
Julie–I so love you. We need to meet in real life.
Alisa
The Wiktionary defines a narcissist thusly, “Person full of egoism and pride.” You have the pride without the egoism. I knew you for two years before I ever had a clue that you are so talented with your writing. Just because you write about personal experiences hardly makes you a narcissist.
Blogs remind me of another form of writing: newspaper columns. And before that there were the pamphleteers, and before that it was probably some form of oration (read soapbox). I read your blog because it’s well-written and witty. Besides, you have a great point of view. Thanks for sharing!
Alisa,
You’re the LAST person that would come to find when I think of “narcissism.” What you’ve created is a beautiful portal into your heart. It takes bravery to be so vulnerable in front of an unknown audience. Kudus to you!
Love,
Linda
There are some really annoying people on the internet who are so full of themselves that it reeks a mile away. Have you never, ever met the kind of self-appointed “big deal” I am talking about?
Never noticed someone who was so wrapped up in themselves they missed the forest for the trees?
If you haven’t yet, consider yourself lucky. Very lucky!
This song has caught the attention of many people who live with a NPD person. It might trigger some discussion
http://au.youtube.com/watch?v=HCeIAqeWq3Q
Cheers All
Doug