The art of recovering from a food coma
Wednesday, November 26th, 2008
Death by pasta
I’ve ghost written more than 17 weight loss books, many of them best sellers. I’ve worked with some of the top diet doctors, fitness trainers, and nutrition experts in the industry. I’ve tried nearly every plan I’ve written.
And, as a result, over the years I’ve developed my own personal recipe for 1) recovering from food comas 2) forestalling weight gain. Today’s blog deals with point #1. On Monday, I’ll bring you #2.
But, first, I need to get something off my chest. This is important. Why isn’t Spike TV having its annual James Bond marathon? Why? WHY? I look forward to this Thanksgiving showing of the best of Bond every year. I overeat. I sit on my couch, and I watch Bond for hours. It’s a tradition.
Some people watch the parade on Thanksgiving Day. Others watch football. I watch Bond.
Except for this year, because Spike is showing CSI NY instead. Don’t get me wrong. I love CSI, but I love Bond more, especially on Thanksgiving Day.
Thanks to Spike TV, I just might find myself thankless at Thanksgiving.
Okay, now that I’ve gotten that off my chest, let’s talk about the food coma. First, a definition. The food coma is the sensation that sets in after a day or night of overeating. It’s very similar to a hang over. Symptoms involve any of the following:
- Dry mouth
- Cotton head
- Cement stomach
- Lethargy
- Brain drain
- Depression
- The downward spiral (i.e. Wow, I really feel fat and tired and stupid. I think I’ll watch James Bond all day on Spike TV. Oh, no I won’t because they are playing Star Wars instead. Okay, then I’ll just sleep and eat leftovers all day.)
Yeah, that’s a food coma. If you are not careful it can lead to weeks and months of overeating and laziness. Then, on Jan. 1, you wake up and think, “Holy crap. I’m out of shape. I gained 20 pounds. None of my clothes fit. I have no friends. My spouse left me. It’s time to give myself an intervention. Gold’s Gym: here I come!”
And that’s just no fun because you pay money for a gym membership that you will use all of two times. You spend hours at the gym, most of it waiting in line to use a piece of equipment. And you wake the next day so sore than you can’t get out of bed. Then you miss a day of work, too.
There’s a better way. Do the following, in this order:
1) Get on the scale. Yep, you gained 5 pounds. Look in the mirror and pull up your shirt. Yep, your stomach is kind of sticking out more than it was yesterday.
2) 2 glasses of water.
3) Make yourself Alisa’s Food Coma Recovery Concoction: 2 scoops whey protein powder (vanilla or chocolate flavor is acceptable), 1 cup frozen strawberries, 1 tbsp ground flax meal OR 1 scoop Benefiber, 1 pint water, 1 tbsp peanut butter. Place all ingredients in a blender and blend until smooth. Drink both glasses. It makes two pints.
4) As much coffee as needed.
5) Excedrin if you have a headache.
6) Go for a walk, run, or some other form of exercise. At least 30 minutes. Outside in the cold is best.
7) Take a nap.
8) Lunch: Big salad with leftover turkey on top. Your salad should be turkey + vegetables + vinegar + very small amount of olive oil + salt and pepper. You will not eat any of the following: stuffing, mashed potatoes, pie, or cookies.
9) Another walk.
10) Pete Cerqua’s 3 minute workout, from the 90-Second Fitness Solution: Plank (the up portion of a pushup) for 90 seconds followed by a wall sit (back against a wall, legs bent at 90 degrees, as if you were sitting in a chair) for 90 seconds.
11) Another nap.
12) Dinner: Left over turkey (or fish or chicken) + salad + steamed or roasted vegetables. Same rules as lunch: no stuffing, no potatoes, and no dessert.
13) Relax. Sex if you can find a willing partner.
14) Sleep.
You will wake Saturday feeling refreshed. Repeat. By Monday, you will not only feel refreshed, you will no longer feel fat.
Just for Fun
Which James Bond Are You?
Which Bond Girl Are You? I’m Octopussy.
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Next blog: The art of not gaining more weight over the holidays
